Warning: Contains spoilers from latest Christmas Special
Isobel Crawley, in the darkness of the night, walked up her drive. Ever since Matthew had passed, it had been unbelievably hard to come home to a empty house. She, of course, was used to loneliness. For most of her life, she was a doctor's wife—her husband was good to her but because of his profession, she was lucky to have him home for a meal. During those moments of solitude, she, of course, didn't waste her talents. She studied in the medical profession, receiving tutoring from her husband along with others. She always did her part and served as nurse during the Boer War. When she wasn't busy with her profession, there was always Matthew. Her only child and only son, he became her companion. As a baby, she held him; she could still see those bright blue eyes looking up at her. She started to tear as she thought that she would never see such a pretty sight. As he grew, she read to him and took long walks. Life seemed to go in the same pattern for awhile, she worked as a nurse and Matthew went on to study to be a lawyer; her husband continued to work in profession and started to studied more about the effects of infection on children. Then, it came. Her husband died, she remembered the shock she felt; similar to the shock, when Robert Crawley had told her that Matthew died. Although she liked her husband, his death was less painful and easier to heal from because she had someone to fall onto—Matthew. It made the mother and son closer than ever. Tonight and the nights that have passed since, she had no one to really confide in and felt close to no one. The Crawleys at Downton were very nice but they were formal, not capable of showing much emotion. Though she could relate to Cora, who was always the kind-hearted one, she still felt wildly alone. Violet, while kinder than usual, wasn't the one to talk to: she still had a son. "Thank you, Martha, that will be all," she said sitting in the stillness of the sitting room. Secretly she kept up the hope and waited for Matthew, knowing he would never come home—no matter how late it got.
"Dr. Clarkson, m'lord," Carson said walking into the room where everyone was assembled for after-dinner drinks.
"Clarkson!" Robert said excitedly and shook his hand. "Is there a problem at the hospital?"
"No Lord Grantham" he said. He wanted to say the true reason he was here but hesitated. Robert sensed this, but knew it would come out in good time.
"Have a drink and please join us," Cora said, as she stood next to her husband.
"Thank you, Lady Grantham," he took a long sip of his drink. "Actually I was hoping to talk to you about something," he said quickly.
"Of course, what is it?" she said giving a amused glance at her husband.
"Well, can we talk about it in private?"
"Yes, let's go sit down," Cora led him to a sofa that was a comfortable distance away from present company.
"Lady Grantham, I was wondering how you feel Isobel is doing. I know you meet for lunch now an then."
Cora sighed, "It's hard to judge, Dr. Clarkson—losing a child," she thought of Sybil and what a state she had been in, "well it's just horrible."
"The truth is Lady Grantham, I came to see if she was here. I've been worried about her. I hardly see her around the village. She used to have such a purpose. I don't think she has an occupation at all."
"It's hard to believe that she doesn't, she's always championed some social cause. I am a little worried, she seems shut off even from us. I think she feels as she doesn't belong here anymore. That ever since Matthew has died it will only be a matter of time before we kick her off, which couldn't be further from the truth she is one of our family now."
Dr. Clarkson smiled, "I think I will go see her, you've convinced me I'm not crazy for worrying about her."
"Of course not, though you probably worry about her the most. You can use my worry as an excuse for visiting if you are feeling a little nervous" Cora gave him a knowing smile.
Dr. Clarkson reddened slightly before excusing himself from the room.
"Dr. Clarkson!" Isobel said slightly embarrassed.
"Oh I hope I haven't disturbed you," he said noticing a glazed look in her eyes, looking as if she had just been crying.
"Oh no, I could do with the company."
Dr. Clarkson sat in a chair, close to Isobel. "I haven't come because I thought you would need space."
"I've had plenty of that my whole life long. I could do with some closeness just now."
"Are you working? Helping out the prostitutes?" he said eagerly.
"No, it's quite a long truck there and I haven't quite felt up to it, not lately. I know I should dive into a cause and dedicate myself to it. It would take me mind off everything." She took a breathe, "the truth of it is, all of this has made me quite displaced." She reached for her empty teacup, a nervous habit and to avoid the tears that were welling up inside her. "How rude of me, I've forgotten my manners and haven't even offered you tea." She moved to get up.
Clarkson grabbed her forearm and held it, "Don't bother," he said. He smiled and the kindness made the tears flow out. She apologized to him for appearing before him in such a state. He answered that it was no bother and that she should let it out—that he was there for her. "I just miss him," she said softly as she pulled herself together.
"We all do," he said still holding her hand. He would go on holding her hand as long as she would allow him. Even a small touch that she allowed him, made his heartbeat faster—that was how it was when a strong love existed between two people. "Lady Grantham sent her regards to you."
"Cora has been too kind," she said. "As have you," she added with a smile.
He laughed, "don't flatter me. I haven't been kind enough."
"Oh but you have, please promise that you will come again."
"I will come as often as you want and need me, Isobel."
They stayed talking for awhile, before both of them realized the time and became aware of their level of exhaustion. "I'll come 'round tomorrow to check that I haven't tired you out."
Isobel laughed as she walked him to the front door, "I will enjoy that," she said.
"Goodnight, Mrs. Crawley," he said and she held his glance. She knew a visit with Dr. Clarkson couldn't make everything better but as she went to bed that night, ehe thought of Dr. Clarkson's blue eyes-maybe she would see a beautiful sight once again.