Summary: One duckling, one otaku, and dozens of fangirls: a recipe for disaster.

Author: don't-even-ask1

Word Count: 1,100

This fanfic is why I should never attempt humor fanfics but hey, it's an attempt, right? I want to get better at this type of writing so I gotta try. Thanks for reading!

….~…

"Hey, Boss!" the twins called. The club was doing on vacation with their clients in a peaceful reserve that Mori's family owned. The twins were crouched by the river, and their clients remained on their picnic blanket.

Tamaki looked up from a client's face that he was caressing to the twins. "What are you two getting into now?" he asked, mindful of the girls close by. "You must be with your princesses! They deserve all the attention."

"You'll never guess what we found!"

Tamaki stood and watched as the twins came back to the group from the stream. The twin on the left had something cradled in his hand. Haruhi and her girls stood up from their blanket and headed towards where Hikaru and Kaoru were gathered around their girls.

"What did you guys find?" Haruhi asked as she got into the small crowd of girls now surrounding the Hitachiin brothers.

Tamaki leapt to his feet. "What are you two devil twins doing to our beloved Haruhi?" he asked, outraged as he watched Haruhi disappear into the mass of girls.

"Aww…" Tamaki heard Haruhi coo from inside the mass of girls.

Directly after, the girls around them all cooed and chittered. Within seconds, all the other clients were surrounding the three first years.

"Look at him!"

"He's so cute!"

"Aww, you look so adorable with him, Kaoru!"

Tamaki watched as his princesses surrounded the twins and felt an odd feeling well up inside him. "But," he protested quietly. "But I'm cute too…"

Either no one heard Tamaki or everyone chose to ignore him. Honey bounded over to the crowd of girls, quickly followed by Mori, and asked with a smile and big eyes, "May I see?"

The girls quickly nodded and made a path for Honey and Mori to see. Both seniors disappeared from Tamaki's sight and Honey cried, "He's so adorable! Don't you think so, Takashi?"

"Ah."

"What's so cute?" Tamaki asked nobody in particular. He bounced around the outside of the circle but could not see the 'cute' thing in the middle. Tamaki turned around to find Kyoya standing a couple feet behind him, jotting something down in his notebook. "Mommy," he whined. "What is so adorable?"

Kyoya shrugged. "I suppose something with a significantly high cute rating. Something considered to be more important and cuter than you."

"Why?!" Tamaki cried out and collapsed to the ground. "I am beautiful! What could possibly be so cute that it trumps my luxurious hair and romantic compliments?" Tamaki buried his face in the ground.

Tamaki heard footsteps but ignored them, favoring instead to wallow in self-pity. "Tamaki-senpai?"

"Haruhi!" Tamaki shot to his feet. "What is it you require, my darling? Your wish is my command!"

Haruhi was cradling something looking like a small puffball in her hand. "Do you want to see him?"

Tamaki took a closer look at the animal in her hands. It was a small duckling, yellow in color with twinges of black streaking through its feathers. It quacked softly in Haruhi's hand, its entire body shaking in the attempt. "Aww…" he said. "I guess he is pretty cute…"

The twins appeared on either side of Tamaki as he leaned down and cooed to the animal in Haruhi's hands. The one on the left asked, "Were you jealous-"

"Of a duck?" the one on the right finished.

Tamaki stood up straight and exploded, "Of course not!"

"Oh really?" they asked together. "It seemed like you were jealous of the attention it was getting from the girls." They leaned closer to Tamaki and whispered, "Or was it only the attention from Haruhi that made you jealous?"

Tamaki turned beet red and held his hands out, distancing himself from the twins. "No, no," he repeated.

The twins grinned identically. "Haruhi!" they said in a singsong voice. "Tamaki-senpai was jealous of a duck because of the attention you were giving it."

Haruhi looked up from the girls she was talking to and glanced at Tamaki suspiciously. "Is that true, Senpai?"

The girls chittered and giggled with one another. Before Tamaki had the chance to speak, Renge appeared out of nowhere and covered Tamaki's mouth. "Of course! Tamaki is just craving the attention that he needs from his Haruhi. The duckling, cute as it is, is getting the attention that Tamaki craves. He becomes jealous of the duck and tries to get the attention from Haruhi in any way he can."

Haruhi raised an eyebrow. "Senpai, that is entirely unnecessary."

"I-" Tamaki stuttered. "I don't need that. The duckling is just cute…"

Haruhi walked over to Tamaki and held her hands out, indicating that Tamaki should do the same. He did and Haruhi dropped the duckling into his hands. "There, not so bad, is it?" Haruhi asked, brushing her hands off.

Tamaki peered down at the animal in his hands and smiled. Its little feet felt strange on his palms and his feathers were soft to the touch. "Aren't you a cute little guy?"

"PHOTO OPPORTUNITY!" Renge screamed as she whipped out a camera. Tamaki yelped and was knocked backward in surprise. The duckling went into the air as Tamaki landed on his butt and laid on the ground.

"The duckling!" the girls screamed as they watched the duck flap its wings, struggling not to fall to the ground. Haruhi reached for the duck but it slipped just past her fingers…

And landed on Tamaki's face. Tamaki screamed again and the duck jumped down to the ground, rumpled its feathers, and waddled off. Haruhi smiled and held a hand out to Tamaki. "You okay, Senpai?"

"Okay? No, I most certainly am not!" Tamaki answered dramatically as he took Haruhi's hand and raised himself. "I was assaulted by a duckling!"

Haruhi took one look at his face and stifled a snort. The rest of the club burst out into laughing and the customers tried to suppress their snickers.

"What?" Tamaki asked, running his hands through his hair. "Is my hair messed up? Are my teeth yellow? Is there something on my gorgeous face?"

Haruhi hid her face behind her hand and managed, "Your face."

"What about my face?" Tamaki asked, patting his cheeks.

Kyoya smiled behind his clipboard and said simply, "There are two duck footprints on your face."

"What?!"