I had a flying monkey
I made it out of clay
Then it started sparkling
So I chased it far away.
This pixie had a girlfriend
Her name was Bella Swan
I didn't like her much
So I killed her with my wand.
My wand wasn't really working
So I tapped it twice, then thrice
Since it wouldn't cast a spell
I jabbed it in her eyes.
Her face was already ugly
So didn't change it much
And then she cried as usual
As Edward went to lunch.
She had a creepy stalker
His name was Jacob Black
Edward should have known this
He's really getting slack.
But Jacob hated Edward
And this was the sad part
One preferred dog biscuits
The other preferred the dark.
If I said this had a happy ending
Then I would have lied
For this to BE a happy ending
They would all have died.