DA REVELATIONS

EPISODE 8 – What Might Have Been

Chapter 1

That Kind of Life

"You told him?"

Hank McCoy looked at Kitty Pryde who was changing the diaper of her one day year old son Caleb. The tiny little red-faced child was whimpering as Kitty picked up his ankles and raised his backside to slide a fresh pamper beneath. "I didn't tell him. He was snooping – and he found the folder on Jessie."

Kitty frowned, "You mean that really obvious bright pink folder you keep about Jessie that you hide under a photograph of the students where Jessie is sitting right at the front?"

"Uhm. Yes," said Hank, giving an apologetic grin.

"Wow, must have took him forever to find it," Kitty said rolling her eyes at him, "You're supposed to keep private files about students in a LOCKED place – you know the procedure."

"Yes, I do know that," Hank sighed, "I've been going over it so much lately it was becoming a rather tedious pain to keep retrieving out of the cabinet every time I wanted to see it. But I guess it was rather unprofessional of me as a teacher to do such a thing..."

"I can't believe you've been denying me the right to tell him about Jessie and then you go screw up like this. Way to go," Kitty muttered.

"I would rather have been able to explain it after we know more about her mother. We thought we were so close when the Professor went to Paris with that lead."

"Did he ever tell you what he learned there?"

"Only that Jessie's father spent some time there before she was born."

"That's not really much to go on," Kitty despaired."So...what was Remy's reaction anyway?" she taped up the diaper and picked the baby up and held him to her so his cheek was against her shoulder, she cradled his neck tenderly.

Hank leaned against the wall, "that's rather fascinating, actually. The anger? It sent him into a very unusual power surge. He showed signs of powers I never knew he had!"

Kitty's expression turned from trivial to very concerned, "what...powers?"

"Being able to charge up objects in the room he wasn't even looking at or touching. And the air...it felt...statically charged. I'd never seen him display such abilities before. I wonder how much deeper they go."

"He won't let you pry into his powers," Kitty said, "he's very private about them."

"Well...it may be a matter of no choice – it could pose a threat if we don't spend some time focusing on what he can do and what can trigger them..."

"I'll talk to him about it – but he'll clam up," after a moment of pondering, Kitty admitted, "I guess the Professor has probably already told him that I know Jessie is his daughter."

"Oh dear. You'll be in very deep--"

"Shit," Kitty mouthed the words – she didn't want the infant even hearing swearwords, being so young and all – she was sure though he would hear plenty once Remy approached.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Remy stood in the east hallway looking into the formal living room where the dinner guests were all seated or standing with their drinks; the room was full of murmurs and discussions, and Jessie was sitting by the coffee table drawing with a pack of Crayola's and a notebook she'd gotten for Christmas from one of the guests.

His mind was full of questions as he watched the girl – his daughter. He couldn't believe the words – they seemed so strange even in his thoughts. The more he thought about it, the more things made sense; the lingering feelings he had for her, the closeness with her, that certain bond; the feelings of instinct and that need to take care of her somehow. And now, Kitty's pushing him to get to know the girl, to bond with her...that made sense now.

He wondered if time had gone on, would he have understood the truth before it was told to him? Could he have possibly figured it out through the sheer parental instinct and bond alone? Probably not...or I wouldn't still be in shock now...I'd have sensed it. I should have sensed my relationship with her, but I didn't...

Remy leaned into the wall, tilting his head a little to the side to look at her, watch her a little more closely. She was too shy to interact with the rest of the guests, so she sat quietly – but even as she busied herself about drawing, she seemed bored and restless. He so wanted to approach her and talk to her. But how? How could he do that now knowing what he knew now that he hadn't known only two hours ago? And how could he be close to her? He couldn't tell her the truth, she'd never be able to comprehend it, and he had no way of ever explaining it properly – he himself didn't even know how she existed.

But she does exist, Remy. She's your daughter, and she's here. But...what do I do now? How can I be close to her without making everyone suspicious; every time I get close to her I see Wolverine looking a bit edgy, and Asschunk, Iceman did I know. When he comes back, all the rumours and accusations are going to start...

It felt horrible; knowing and not being able to divulge the truth to her. The girl who longed for a father, a family, who longed to be part of something more. He longed for a daughter too – and although he felt guilty to think of it, especially when Gabrielle lay in a grave in Bayville cemetery, he couldn't deny he wanted to be Jessie's father more than anything. They both needed each other, but it was as far as it could go, and it might be years before he would be able to tell her who she really was to him.

There was something else bothering him: everything he'd missed out on through the past seven years. Moments he was even missing out on now because he was afraid to reveal that closeness to everyone else for fear of what they might think.

He spied Rogue standing talking to one of the members of another team of mutants from Scotland, the team that Kurt helped man. She was smiling, and seemed happy enough.

How can I tell Rogue? He wondered, feeling even saddened by the whole mess. We've just begun to truly connect again; this will scare her. She gets scared when there's talks of commitment and family. She proved that to me when I asked about children before...how will she react if I told her Jessie is my daughter?

Remy was almost sure he already knew her reaction – it wouldn't be good. She'd flee, or decide that it was time to break up permanently. He couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle letting her go again when he'd only just finally connected with her on that level again. It was too much for him to go through. And especially not when it seemed like this strange new manifestation of his power might provide some kind of solution to their being together physically – something they had both longed for in a very long time.

Rogue turned towards him at that moment, as if she felt his gaze upon her; she gave him a flirtatious smile and winked at him; when he did not smile or wink back, her face turned serious. She excused herself from the person she was speaking with and left the living room to join Remy in the mahogany and silk-wallpapered east hallway. "How you doin', sugar?" she asked, she wrapped her arms around his neck merrily, the smell of mulled wine was slightly on her breath.

God I could really use a drink about now, he thought dourly.

"I'm fine," he lied, and he wrapped his arms around her small waist, "you smell like mulled wine, all spicy and sweet..." he breathed in.

"Aren't you the charmer," Rogue smirked, "why you standing out here in the cold hallway instead of hanging in there in the warm living room?"

"Too crowded. Besides, I get a better view of your ass from here," he faked a sleazy grin.

"Very funny," she rolled her eyes at him, "you're faking being happy though. What's wrong?" she asked.

She can really read me like a book these days, he thought.

"I'm just tired. Found it hard to sleep last night through this stupid pain..." he glanced down to his chest, he could see the tape from his dressing from the slit in his button down shirt. "Then I had really weird dreams last night and when I woke up I didn't feel like I slept..." he shrugged.

"Dreams about what?" she queried.

"Working a nine-to-fiver in a really gross office with an ugly-ass off-white shirt on and a tie behind a computer..."

"That's not a dream, that's a nightmare," Rogue made a face, "not very you at all."

"I know..." he sighed, "I think I'm just...I don't know, sometimes I think about how a normal life for me and you would be and I guess – maybe includes all that stuff."

"That's your idea of a normal life? Working in an office? Remy, you can barely check email without downloading a virus...you behind a computer? It's like putting a two year old in charge of the Danger Room – it'd be ridiculously impossible..." she laughed.

He didn't.

"What?"

"What I mean to say..." he frowned, "is that if you wanted that kind of life. If that's what you wanted of me – to get a nice normal office job...I'd do it. For you."

She tilted her head, "that's...kinda sweet," she admitted. "But I wouldn't want you to work in a gross office..." she ran her fingers against his cheek, the soft suede of her glove was comforting in a small way. "That kind of life, that isn't us. I'm not sure we really can have a normal life."

A moment of silence followed; he wasn't happy with her answer, and he was sure she knew it to, but she didn't try to elaborate or change her mind about her feelings about it.

"I love you," he murmured softly to her; he hoped she knew it was true enough because she'd be questioning it soon enough when the truth eventually came out about Jessie.

"I love you too," Rogue smiled, "c'mon, I want to introduce you to people."

"Actually, I think I'll pass on introductions for the moment, I got some things I need to do...so I'll catch up with you at dinner, and you can introduce me then," he smiled. He gave her backside a quick pat before he quickly exited the hallway, leaving her there alone slightly confused.