Disclaimer: I own nothing but plot.
Chapter One
Not to sound angsty or anything, but I hate my life. I really just wish I'd died that day and been reborn another person. Why was I chosen to be the one? Why couldn't it have been someone else, anyone else? There's no one like me. There's no one to understand how I feel, and yet I'm supposed to feel what the entire Wizarding World feels and help them or something. How does that even make sense? Of course there are the few who do try to make sense of my feelings and thoughts, but even then, their attempts, are not so well-received. I guess I have a short-fuse, but I get so frustrated sometimes. I don't mean to, but it's hard. Hermione, Ron, even Dumbledore, they try so hard, but only get so far. Sometimes, I feel like nobody even tries. I mean, come on! If you say you're going to do something, bloody well do something!
You know, this isn't fair. This isn't fair at all. Why don't I get the choice to decide whether or not I want to do this? Everyone else gets the choice to fight, why shouldn't I? Is it because I'm apparently the only one who can? Well, that's just bollocks. A wise man once said that nothing is impossible if you just believe... OK well that was stupid, but still! Isn't there anyone who actually thinks, "Oh Harry! That poor, poor boy! I wonder if he even wants to be doing this? Maybe we should give him the choice! Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!"
OK, maybe not even exactly like that, but you know what I mean!
All my life, before entering Hogwarts, I was manipulated, unknowingly, into thinking I was nothing. I was forced to believe that I had no place in the world, Muggle or magical, even though I didn't know the magical world existed. Then the letter came, more letters, letter after letter. It had to be true. Hagrid showing up made it nearly possible! It was like the light was finally shining down on my life, on me! For once in my entire existence, I knew what it felt like to be special, the good special. It felt great, by the way. But then, then I came to Hogwarts, where everyone was this "special", this "good special" that I thought I could use as my forte, as my strength. It was hard, especially finding out how, how famous I was in the Wizarding World. You know, honestly, I really don't think these are the kinds of things you really should be keeping from people... but that's Dumbledore and the Wizarding World for you.
Anyhow, so I find out I'm famous among people my own age, people older than me, and people younger than me. At first, I thought it was kind of neat, that I could control it and could use it for good. But, famed phrase, "misery loves company" decided to make itself irrevocably present at any unwanted time possible. That's when my life decided to go to shits. That's when I decided I really didn't want my life to continue going to shits, and so I wanted out. Actually, I want out now.
So, you know what? I will not be the puppet. I will not be the sacrificial lamb. I will not be the manipulated.
I, Harry James Potter, will not do the bidding of anyone.
I, Harry James Potter, will not defeat the Dark Lord Voldemort.
I've had just about enough. So, kiss my ass you pussies.