~~(1)~~

It had started slowly, and ironically thanks to Morgana. After the whole mandrake root business his relationship with the king had changed, only subtly at first and then well there had been the whole goblin fiasco and Merlin really couldn't hold it against him that he had believed Gaius over him after all Gaius and the king had been friends for a long time, in fact Merlin would probably have been upset on Gaius' behalf if the king had listened to him.

Now here he was in the kings chambers, alone but for an emotionally unstable Uther. The kings body being wracked by huge sobs, It had always been plain to see that the king loved (albeit in his own misguided, stilted way) his children, nobody could deny that.

Merlin's sympathy and the ache in his own chest had him moving without a conscious decision being made and the next thing he knew he had wrapped Uther up in a warm embrace, holding him close, stroking pale fingers down the older mans back and shushing him softly.

Inside Merlin's mind was screaming at him, 'oh god, what are you doing? you're hugging the king! fuck, he's going to have you executed, that is if he doesn't just kill you himself right now... bloody fuck, any minute now he's going to push you away and throttle you, or run you through...'

He was more than a bit surprised when Uther did nothing more than melt into his arms, so Merlin continued stroking and gentle assurances he murmured into the kings hair.

When Uther's tears had subsided, and Merlin could feel the stains of his own tears drying on his face, he loosened his hold, thinking to pull away and give the king some space to gather his composure, until he felt the almost imperceptible tightening of Uther's grasp on the back of his tunic. So instead of stepping back he stepped forward, bringing them even closer, the kings head coming to rest on his shoulder and Merlin brought his hand up to idly stroke through the short hairs on the back of his neck.

"Please." Fell from the kings lips on a gasp, and though Merlin didn't know what he was being asked for he agreed immediately.

"Yes," He wasn't sure why, really, but this, standing in this all encompassing embrace was helping to alleviate his own guilt and sorrow, "Anything."

Perhaps it was inevitable, the intimate embrace they had been locked in for who knew how long, each taking comfort from the other, but when their lips brushed softly together Merlin gasped in surprise. His skin tingled with something he had never felt before and he didn't hesitate to slide his own tongue together with that of the king. It was soft, a gentle exploration and Merlin felt giddy, light-headed, with how good it felt.

Merlin felt Uther's hands coming round to his chest, sliding slowly up over the rough material of his tunic, and without breaking the kiss felt the fingers deftly unknotting his neckerchief, this was all the permission Merlin needed, drawing Uther's jacket over his shoulders and down his arms where it fell with a soft 'fwump' to the floor.

There was nothing hurried, and yet no hesitation, to the way they undressed each other each taking time to feel and explore newly bared territory with lips and fingers. Uther is kissing and sucking at his neck and his body feels like a tightly coiled spring, his erection is painfully hard but he is for now content to ignore that in favor of loosing himself to the feel of lips, teeth, strong fingers caressing his back. God he has never, never, done anything like this with anyone, the only experience to speak of is the few chaste kisses he shared with Freya. He knows that nothing will stop him from doing this though, least of all his inexperience in such things, he wants this... damn the consequences and stations and propriety and all that.

Wants more... more kisses, more touch, more skin... moremoremore...

He travels his hands down Uther's chest, pausing to thumb at the nipples causing them to pebble under his touch, down the kings abdomen which despite the slight paunch is still mostly hard muscle, to the tops of his breeches where he pauses again as if seeking permission to continue.

He feels Uther gasp into his neck before bringing his head up and crashing his lips back onto Merlin's. Merlin hums happily and fumbles with the laces until finally they are untied and he can claim his prize. He pushes the fabric down far enough to release the kings own erection, running his fingers gently along the silky skin.

His head is spinning, all this, it's too much and at the same time not nearly enough, he breaks away from the kiss taking a moment to just breathe, still running his fingers along Uthers swollen shaft, his other hand curled possessively around his neck.

He feels strong hands cupping his arse, lifting him, and automatically wraps his legs around the waist of this man who has reduced him to nothing but want and need. His heart is pounding, his untouched cock heavy and leaking, as he is gently lowered onto the huge soft bed, keeping his arms and legs tightly wrapped around Uther as though there is nothing more in the world (which at the moment there really isn't) and without this man he will fade into nothing, drift away like a whisper on the wind.

He feels Uthers bared cock dragging along his breeches and suddenly he needs for them to both be completely naked, needs to feel skin on skin, needs to feel the soft slide of that swollen member rubbing up alongside his, needs friction and...

He cants his hips, a silent plea for more, for skin on skin contact, words have deserted him, his brain may have deserted him too but this is all he has right now, all he needs and he will give it his all. The king shifts, pulling away to kneel between Merlin's legs while his fingers work at the laces of his breeches, and Merlin feels the rush of air as his cock springs free the air cool on his heated flesh. He kicks his boots off and shimmies his trousers the rest of the way of while Uther rids himself of boots and breeches too.

Then they are both gloriously naked, the feel of the silky smooth yet rock hard cock against his own is even better than he imagined. He suddenly wishes that he had at least some experience in this because as it is he knows he isn't going to last long and god it's so unfair because he never wants this to end.

He lets out a strangled gurgle, his back arching from the bed as he feels Uthers large callused hand wrap around both of their cocks and starts stripping them at a furious pace, the kings heavy breathing in his ear, the weight of him on top of him like a comforting blanket, he turns his head licking and nipping at the kings neck, they are both breathing hard and its dry and fast and nothing like when he touches himself. Its the opposite of the gentle caresses that until now they had shared. It's absolutely perfect.

It only takes a few moments of the fast paced stripping before Merlin cries out, his orgasm taking him over and covering Uthers hand in his seed, his body shuddering sparodically as he comes down from his high, he is trying to regain his breath and higher brain functions, he can feel that Uther is close and Merlin slide his hands down to grip forcefully at the kings arse and sucks a bruise into his neck as he feels his seed join his own painting his stomach.

Now that his mind is starting to clear from the overwhelming fog of lust and lack of blood he wonders what will happen now. They lie entwined on the bed still in a sticky, post orgasmic daze, while Merlin's mind whirls a mile a minute.

He doesn't want to loose this even though he knows how crazy that is. The reality of the situation, that he just lost his virginity to a man who is hell bent on wiping out every one of his kind, who has killed hundreds of sorcerers and knowing he too would join them if Uther ever found out, but even as he knows all this, knows it is nigh on impossible, he also knows that if Uther wanted more, wanted this, wanted Merlin, he would be unable to deny him. Not because this man is the king and he a servant but because Merlin really wouldn't be able to. He wants this.

He wants for once to be selfish, to have something for himself. He isn't thinking of Arthur and how he would feel about this, he isn't thinking about destiny and his supposedly golden future aiding Arthur. He isn't thinking of Gaius, his mother or the dragon and how each of their reactions would be pretty much identical in their disbelief at his stupidity. He isn't thinking about any of those things, he is only thinking about the man lying next to him, fingers of one hand entangled together, whose other hand is running lightly up and down his flank.

He knows what just happened but he isn't really sure what happened. He may have never physically been with anyone before to compare but he knows what he felt and despite everything, age difference, social barriers, their was a connection shared that went deeper than physical. As strange as it is to think it he feels a hundred different emotions towards this man, empathy, desire, anger and something that feels a lot like...

Merlin opens his eyes locking onto the gray eyes before him and smiles shyly, unsure. Uther snorts a laugh and pulls him closer.

"Did you do this because I am your king?" Uther murmurs the question into his hair.

"No." Merlin answers honestly, he's not sure why he did this he just knew that he couldn't bear to witness this mans sorrow, would have done anything to take the burden from him. There is a feeling there that he's not ready to name, not yet. He does know that he will be going to see the dragon to find a way to save Morgana despite that he knows she is lost anyway in all the ways that count, but he will save her because the thought of causing any more pain to Uther and to Arthur makes him feel sick.

"Why did you? Any other servant would have just quietly left and ignored my moment of weakness, why did you not?"

"Well, I'm not any other servant, how could I have just left you on your own when you were hurting? Nobody likes to be alone especially when they're sad and you shouldn't have to be either king or not."

There is silence between them after this impassioned outburst for a moment, each looking at the other as if they could read one another's thoughts, it isn't uncomfortable though (except perhaps the sticky mess that has started to crust as it dries on Merlin's stomach).

Uther is the first to break it, his face closed off as he begins, "I'm sorry,"

"No! Don't you dare apologize, whether it's for your moment of perceived weakness when you used me as a human handkerchief," He gives Uther a soft kiss to let him know that he is teasing and his words don't carry the heat they suggest, "And definitely not for what happened. I was as much a part of it, I wanted it. I do want it, want you."

Uther is searching his face, as if trying to find the truth behind a lie, and though Merlin has told many lies this is not one of those times, he doesn't want this because this is the king and he thinks he may gain something from it. He wants this because for the first time in a long time he didn't feel alone, this he thinks is a bond they share, each surrounded continuously by others and yet both so alone. They need not be alone anymore.

"If you really want this, then there can be no-one else."

Merlin feels like laughing at that statement, "There's never been anyone." He tells him honestly and then surprising himself, "Once a couple of years ago there was a girl and it could have been, would have been, but... she died. We only had a short time together."

Uther presses a kiss to his forehead then opens his mouth to say something, "Will you stay here tonight?"

Even though it meant he wouldn't be able to go and see Kilgharrah until tomorrow Merlin doesn't hesitate to accept.

After cleaning themselves up, they were once again wrapped closely together in the large bed, though under the covers now and they spend most of the night talking in hushed voices, about anything that came to mind, from light-hearted menial things such as favourite foods and how differently the festivals were celebrated in Ealdor to more serious topics, Uther's worry for Morgana. Merlin reassures him that she will recover (she will), worries for the kingdom and how Merlin enjoys being apprenticed to Gaius, they talk of Arthur, and they briefly touch upon the losses they have suffered though it saddens Merlin more that he is unable to be completely honest in this matter.

"Is there ... I mean could we ... erm its just ..." Merlin trails off deflated, all the things they have talked about and what they shared together earlier this really shouldn't be so hard, but it still makes him nervous.

"Hmm, what is it?"

"Its just, well ... no-one's going to .. like this, us, and maybe erm well we could .. I don't know, keep it a secret?"

"Yes, okay, for now I think that's a good idea. Eventually though other's will find out, secrets have a way of being found out but yes, for now."

"Thank you. Its just people probably won't react well and with it being so new it would be nice to have some time for just 'us' you know, not being in the public eye or whatever."

Merlin thinks Uther understands all too well his reluctance for people, mainly Arthur and Gaius, finding out about this and he snuggles further into the warm chest pressing against his back, wondering if Uther's mind is frantically swirling with thoughts as to how it will be when it is no longer a secret. But the arms wrapped around him offer comfort and support and it isn't long before both of them have drifted into a comfortable sleep.

~~(2)~~

The whole impossible relationship with the king is much easier to keep secret than Merlin had feared. He went about his usual routines in the day and was thankful that he was usually smiling so that his goofier than normal grins went by without question.

The whole castle had breathed in relief at the news of Morgana's, seemingly, miraculous recovery. It had been odd to have Uther spending so much time in the physicians chambers, before Morgana was deemed well enough to return to her own chambers, and not being able to even talk to him.

Every night since that first night, almost a week ago, found Merlin sneaking out past Gaius and making his way to the kings chambers. Tonight though there was a feast to celebrate Morgana's recovery. She had been moved back to her own rooms a couple of days after Merlin had healed her, and though she still wasn't quite one hundred percent, Uther had been far too joyful and excited to wait longer than necessary for the celebration.

This would be the first time they would have to spend so much time in each others presence, surrounded by the whole court, and pretend that things hadn't changed. It was to be something like a test for them, how well they would be able to do this without giving themselves away. Merlin didn't think it would be too hard, really, to act normal, but then again he was only a servant and spent most of his time at feasts hiding in the background, he didn't have to worry about people's eyes on him the only people who ever even noticed him being Arthur (when his cup was empty and Merlin wasn't quick enough in refilling it) and Gwen (they often had whispered conversations far back from the high table, laughing and joking), so no he wasn't worried.

The feast dragged on, same as always (feasts were never very enjoyable when all one had to do was stand around waiting to refill a cup), legs aching from hours of standing. Watching others enjoying themselves, every time he had to refill Arthur's cup he could feel Uther's eyes on him, making his skin tingle and causing him to shiver involuntarily each time.

By the time Uther delivered his speech, laughing and slurring slightly, it was obvious to all that the king had had more than enough to drink, although he was the king and they were celebrating his wards recovery so he could be forgiven for over indulging. Morgana herself retired shortly after this stating she was fine but tired when questioned.

"Father, its getting late, most people are retiring for the night." Arthur turned to Merlin lowering his voice so he wouldn't be overheard, "Merlin, please see my father to his chambers, that will be all for tonight, I'll see to myself this evening."

"Yes sire," Merlin bowed slightly and placed his wine jug on the table before following Uther's retreating figure from the room, ensuring to remain a few steps behind the king all the way to his chambers, and smirking all the while as the king didn't once so much as stumble.

Once the heavy wooden door had shut behind them, Merlin stepped immediately into the kings personal space, "I feel I must commend you on your performance ' My Lord' at one point you had even me convinced that you'd indulged in too much drink."

"Yes, it was rather well done, that Arthur would send you with me says it all." They shared a brief soft kiss while Merlin's hands reached up to remove the gold coronet from the kings soft steel grey hair, and pushing him away once he had it in his hands.

This was something Merlin was still a little unsure about and had been since the king had suggested they give it a try. Merlin had spent the whole day thinking about this and now he was here, coronet in hand, he was still nervous and a little unsure but he swallowed it down and with hands that only shook a little he raised the coronet to his own head. Uther wanted this, so Merlin would do his best to give it to him.

He swallowed once more and raised his eyes to meet those of his king. "Strip, don't look at me and don't make any noise." He ordered, sitting down at the table and watching as Uther removed each layer, slowly.

Fuck, his eyes followed each bit of skin as it was bared, lingering on the half hard cock and heavy balls.

"Come here and kneel between my legs, with your hands clasped behind your back" He couldn't believe the rush he felt at watching his orders be obeyed it was powerful and heady. Once Uther was in position, Merlin removed his neckerchief, "Close your eyes." He whispered before tying the tattered blue material soft with wear over the now shut eyes.

He released his cock from his breeches and stroked it slowly to full attention, "Open your mouth for your king."

As soon as he had his cock in the wet cavern that was the kings mouth he started thrusting savagely, causing the older man to gag and splutter around his flesh. The only sounds were Merlins harsh breaths and the occasional moan mixed in with Uther's choked of spluttering.

"Give me your hand." Merlin placed small pot of lotion in Uthers hand, "You know what this is for. Open yourself up for me. Oh and you'd best stop sucking my dick, otherwise there won't be any use for that."

Merlin found it hard to believe that this was the second time they had had penetrative sex, and that they were doing it like this of all things. He hoped that he was doing it right seen as he was more used to being given orders than issuing them, but the heavy weight resting on his head helped him, grounded him and reminded him of his role.

He leaned forward and followed Uther's questing fingers with his own, tugging at the rim a little before sliding one slim digit inside to join the three Uther had there.

"That's enough." He was a little embarrassed by the growl in his voice, until it was answered with a moan from Uther causing Merlin's cock to twitch, "Stand up." Merlin spread Uther over the table, pulling his cheeks apart, sliding his cock along the the seam of his arse before thrusting all the way in in one hard push, pulling groans from both men's throats.

Merlin held Uther's arms behind his back in a one handed grip, his other hand clutching Uther's hip for leverage as he repeatedly slammed in and out at a furious pace. When he felt the tell tale signs of his impending orgasm, he snuck a hand down to grip Uther's leaking cock, stripping it in time with his thrusts. He cried out his completion, his hand stuttering slightly in its rhythm before feeling the hot come of his lover dripping over his fingers, arse muscles clenching painfully around Merlin's still sheathed cock.

He has no idea how long they stayed in exactly that position while they each tried to catch their breath, but it was clearly too long because suddenly the door opens (without so much as a knock) which should clue them in on who its likely to be, but still his voice comes as a shock

"Father, Gaius sent me to ... Father," Arthur walks further into the room, glancing around, his eyes almost popping out of his head at the scene he witnesses. He thinks he can guess what kinds of thoughts are running through the prince's head, after all Arthur sent him up to accompany a supposedly drunk king and now Uther is naked and blindfolded with Merlin still gripping his arms behind his back and Merlin himself is fully clothed, with the addition of the kings coronet on his head.

Merlin would laugh at the expression on Arthur's face if he wasn't too busy having an internal panic attack. He is all too aware that in this position it would be very easy to misconstrue the situation, his softened cock slips free from Uther's arse, a little bit of come accompanying it, to drip down Uther's thigh and Merlin has never thought he may one day die from sheer embarrassment but yeah he feels like he might right now.

"What the ... Merlin? What the hell? What the hell are you doing?"Arthur's voice has become a low dangerous growl and Merlin knows instantly that Arthur thinks Merlin has somehow taken advantage of Uther, which is absurd.

"Arthur, it's not..."

"SHUT UP MERLIN! Father, what is going on, are you alright?" Arthur has unsheathed his sword and is looking the pair of them over, the tableau completely unchanged but for Merlin's cock now hanging limply out of his breeches.

This is just stupid, Merlin thinks, letting go of Uther's arms he gives them a brief rub to get the blood flowing and then reaches up to take of the makeshift blindfold. As Uther straightens himself up, Merlin takes the heavy gold circle of metal from his head, handing it tentatively to Uther. He is waiting for Arthur to explode or to feel a sword pressed to his throat the whole time.

"Arthur as I'm sure you can appreciate I am otherwise occupied at the moment, so you may leave."

"LEAVE! I'm not leaving until you explain just what the hell I walked in on."

Merlin quickly fastens his breeches and skirts around Arthur to gather the kings clothes from the floor, its only his breeches and his tunic but he figures that he won't mind and well it would be better to have this discussion with at least a pretense of modesty (though he knows that really it is too late for that). He helps Uther to dress, causing Arthur's eyes to bug out even more, a feat that Merlin would not have thought possible if he hadn't been there to witness it.

"Very well," Uther starts once he is dressed, "If you insist on doing this now then I suggest we all take a seat, and for heaven's sake Arthur put your sword away, it's not needed." Arthur does so, but the action doesn't make Merlin feel any better.

Why did he think they could do this? He honestly thought that they could carry on with no-one any the wiser, well at least for a little while longer at any rate. He moves away from father and son who are engaged in what will no doubt be a very long and very heated conversation and starts to light the fire before going about the room straightening up odds and ends and just generally hoping to blend into the background, the last thing he wants is to be attacked by Arthur.

By the time he has finished whatever chores he had found to do the two royals are still locked in their argument and Merlin can see that both men's hands are clenched into fists and really he should stop being a coward and intervene before they come to blows which would be no good for anyone.

"Arthur..." He starts tentatively, Arthur throws a glare in his direction but keeps eye contact so Merlin continues, "Arthur, we never meant- never wanted you to find out this way. We're both really sorry that we didn't tell you, we just wanted some time to ourselves before it became anyone else's business."

"What, why would it need to be anyone's business, the king may do as he likes with the servants as long as they are willing. I just never thought it would ever be you."

"Arthur, I want you to be aware that this is not anything like that, it may be early days but well I think we could have quite a future together, as Merlin said we just did not wish to have the gossips picking apart our relationship before it has even begun to bloom."

"Relationship...? Future...? Are you two- are you serious? The pair of you must be mental..."

"How dare you Arthur, you forget who you're addressing!"

"Look!" Merlin yelled, a blush burned up his cheeks at his outburst and lowering his voice before continuing, "Could we talk about this another time, perhaps when you have both cooled down and thought about what you wish to say to each other, and if you insist on screaming at each other all night then I will take my leave."

"You are right, Arthur you are dismissed for the night however I wish for you to join us for breakfast in the morning."

Arthur's and Merlin's eyes went wide at this, after all he had never stayed for breakfast always having to leave before Gaius awoke to find him gone, oh god did this mean they were going to have to tell people, tell Gaius- who in no doubt would most definately kill him, but Uther was looking at him with such a soft reassuring look in his eyes that Merlin merely nodded his assent.

It would seem as though they would have to face up to the opinions of others, they had both known it was coming just not this soon but it would seem as though tomorrow would be judgement day.