Not a very long story... And hey, I have a reason. I just got back from Columbia's favorite place – "The Disneyland!" plus a New Year special story coming up within a week.
And to reader "redrum" who reviewed my Halloween Rocky Horror special... Rocky did go back to his tank after Eddie said the gum (previously stored in Rocky's short-short) was gross.
"What are all these decoration? Boxing Day was yesterday. Shouldn't you take down the decoration instead of putting them up? Wait... Is it my birthday again?" Frank yawned and he walked down to the ballroom from his master suite.
"Frankie... It's Magenta and Riff Raff's wedding today," Columbia said. She was on the ladder, putting up the white balloons chain. Eddie was taking down Christmas decoration and Dr. Scott was putting roses on the chairs. Originally, Columbia wanted to give everyone a piece of toast, newspaper, a water gun, a bag of rice and a bunch of other random stuffs, but Magenta threatened to kill her as clean-up would be terrible.
"Wait, you two are not married?" Frank asked the sibling-couple who was swinging and singing to their babies, so the babies would stop crying and sleep. Magenta looked up and gave Frankie the face.
"You don't know?" Eddie asked, "Remember Magenta caught Columbia's wedding boutique?"
"She didn't catch it. I did!" Frankie said, "Let me try again. You two are not married?"
"Of course not, or we wouldn't make a big fuzz about it!" Columbia replied.
"But they had three kids," Frank asked.
"You and Brad are not married and you two are expecting a child!" Riff Raff defended himself.
"Correction. Brad and I are both married, just not to each other," Frank said.
"Frankie is married to someone?" Columbia asked.
"Yes, he is," Riff Raff explained, "He was married to Princess Steph from planet Bisexual but she fled before he could consume the marriage. She was afraid of his teeth."
Magenta laughed, "Frank was scared that he would be the laugh stock of Transsexual, so he came to Earth."
"No, she's not! She said she wasn't ready to settle down and told me to wait," Frank said, "So I came to Earth and am still waiting for her to call back."
"She IS ready. Last year, she had a kid with her second cousin, Princess J," Magenta said.
"Princess J from Intersexual? I thought she HAS a husband," Frank asked.
"She does, but you know Intersexual law. If a Intersexual is married to a man, it's legal for her to have sex with any woman and vice versa," Riff Raff said.
"Just admit it," Riff Raff handed Frank a corset, "She doesn't love you and you should move on. By the way, this is your maid of honor clothes."
"I am the maid of honor? Hurray!" Frank cheered and walked back to his room.
"Didn't we tell him last month?" Columbia asked.
"He didn't care," Eddie explained.
The doorbell rang. "We will get the door," Rocky and Janet walked downstairs together. It was Cosmo and Nation.
Magenta asked Riff Raff in a low voice and made sure they were not heard by anyone, "They are sleeping together behind Frank and Brad's back, right?" Riff Raff nodded.
"This is your wedding slash Christmas gift. Sorry we couldn't join you last night. The Dentonvale Christmas special was great," Nation handed Magenta a box.
"Wow, a gift!" Magenta exclaimed and then changed to a flat and disappointed voice, "We all gave each other fishnet stockings this Christmas, Frank insisted."
"Why didn't you have the wedding in Transsexual?" Cosmo asked.
"We wanted to, but Brad is in no condition for flying and we don't want to leave Brad, Janet and Dr. Scott on Earth because Brad's baby is due in less than ten days," said Riff Raff.
Nation asked, "So, are we waiting for other guests?"
"No. My mother won't be flying to Earth to join us, but we will video call and stream the wedding live," said Riff Raff who set up the network. He tuned the television and two faces appeared on the screen.
"Nice," Cosmo said, "I missed the queen and Lady Roxy."
"I'm ready!" Frank walked in with Brad. Frank made a big entrance and posed, except no one was holding a camera.
"Everyone gets into position. Let's get this over with," Riff Raff and Magenta said in unison. This was apparently not their idea for a perfect wedding, but they were sure they had the right bride and groom.
"Where is your wedding dress?" Frank asked. The bride and the groom were still wearing their Rocky Horror Show costume.
"A wedding is only a ceremony. We are delaying our honeymoon due to Brad's pregnancy anyway, so we didn't want it a big deal. And besides, what matches a handyman better than a maid?" Magenta asked. She looked into Riff Raff's eyes with love and he shared the same feeling. They walked to the back of the ballroom and walked in together as the Transylvanian wedding music played.
Frank was the maid of honor and Rocky was the best man, Frank insisted. Though baby Ritz could not yet walk or talk, he was the ring boy, sitting in his baby stroller and the girls were flower girls, girls sleeping in the stroller surrounded by roses.
Riff Raff walked Magenta down the aisle and stood in front of Dr. Scott. He said the extra short wedding speech written by Frank, "Riff Raff and Magenta Vitus, do you two want to be man and wife?"
"We do," The couple said in unison and they kissed. They exchanged the ring even before Dr. Scott said so. Magenta threw the boutique and it flew to Nation's hand. She didn't even have to try catching it.
"So romantic. The brother gave the sister away, and to himself. It's like nothing happened," said Frank sarcastically, "Hey, if I am the maid of honor, why didn't we have a bridal show?"
"We did," Columbia answered because Magenta was too busy making out, "You are a guy, so we didn't invite you. We assumed you went to Riff Raff's bachelor party instead. It's only Janet, Nation, Magenta and me, but we had fun watching Rocky dance."
"We thought Frank was invited to your party, so we didn't invite him too," said Eddie.
"Did I missed all the fun? This is so unfair!" Frank complained.
"We didn't do much too. Only Rocky was dancing," Brad said, "You've seen it."
"He was the only free dancer we could find that wouldn't turn Riff Raff on and thus get us killed by Magenta," said Eddie.
"I thought I was one of the guests to the party," Rocky said in his disappointed voice.
"No, you were only there because we want to see the muscles," Eddie said and drew a line from Rocky's chest to belly button with his finger, "like the reason why Frank keeps you in the show."
"I am not a stripper!" Rocky cried and went back to his tank.
"Should we chase after him?" Janet asked.
"It's okay. Rocky does it all the time," Columbia clicked the button on the radio and the wedding march music started playing again.
Then Riff Raff lifted Magenta up and they locked lips. Before he carried her up the stairs, Riff Raff shouted to the crowd, "We will back when the babies cry tonight."
Columbia laughed and said, "No worries. Eddie and I will take care of the babies tonight. You two crazy kids have fun!"
Every pair of the couples started making out while seeing the romantic scene. Frank walked toward Brad, but Brad turned away and locked lips with Janet.
Frank looked at Dr. Scott, but Dr. Scott showed a don't-you-dare-to-kiss-me look on his face. Frank turned around. "Oh Rocky!" Frank pretended to cry and walked to the elevator.
= The End? =
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