Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to anything

This is my first time ever writing a FF story – in fact I haven't written any fiction since being at school many years ago.

This will be a Morgan/Prentiss story however the first chapter doesn't feature him….

Pain & Joy

CHAPTER 1

10 years ago she was engaged to be married….. that was one of the many things her team knew nothing about. She was going to marry Shaun Brandon. He was a CIA agent. Two years older than Emily, he was handsome, reckless, sexy as hell… an all round tough guy… just the way she liked them. Mother would definitely not approve, which meant that he ticked every box.

She couldn't have been happier. She was completely in love with Shaun. He could do no wrong her eyes. She would have done anything and gone anywhere for him…. So far away from the person she was today.

It was definitely what you would call a whirlwind romance. The first night they met was at a State function…. For which she was only there because of her Ambassador mother. The attraction was instant. They ended up having rough, quick, passionate sex in the grounds of the five star hotel where the function was. It was the start of the best few months of her life.

He treated her like a princess by day and a devil woman by night. They often didn't leave her apartment for days at a time… drinking, eating, making love… over every square inch of the place.

It only took him a couple of weeks for him to tell her that he loved her… and she believed him. They got to a place in their relationship in a month it would normally take most a year to get to. He knew how to live life to the fullest and did not waste a second of it… and she wanted to be right by him for the ride.

Her heart sank when he told her he would have to go away for a month…. but that was his job... she didn't know where he was going, what he was doing or when she'd speak to him next… she'd have to get used to this. She threw herself into her job to try and make the time go quicker, but she missed him like crazy.

It was about two weeks after he was gone that she finally admitted to herself that something was wrong. She sat in her bathroom staring at the stick…. "PREGNANT" was the word screaming to her. Her world seemed to implode. All she could think was that Shaun would leave her the second he found out. Their fast paced lifestyle had no room in it for a baby, not to mention her career.

That made the next two weeks even harder to get through. Not only did she miss him, she was constantly on edge, panicking about what he would do when she told him. She was convinced she wouldn't see him for dust.

It was two days until he got back…. She was not at work that day and couldn't summon the energy to get out of bed that morning. So much going through her mind, not to mention the tiredness caused by the pregnancy. She dozed off again… the next thing she knew a heavy weight was on top of her tearing at her shorts. For a split second she panicked, fearing the worse. Her gun was in the bedside table, but she would struggle to reach it. She quickly recognised that masculine, wonderful smell. She allowed him to kiss her deeply, whilst ripping the last of her clothing off. Before she knew it he was inside of her, thrusting desperately. He hadn't said one word to her yet. This was him all over and she loved him for it. It was a big turn on… the fact he wanted her so badly.

Once he had finished and got his breath back, he kissed her softly on the lips, gave her one of his wonderful grins and just said, 'Hi' softly. She couldn't help but smile back at him... one of those smiles he knew was only for him. They lay in each others arms for about half hour…. So content.

It wasn't long before she remembered what she had to tell him, but she wanted to enjoy him for just a little bit longer.

They spent the rest of the day talking, laughing, eating and having more incredible sex. Then came the point when she knew she would have to tell him.

He was messing around in her fridge. She watched him get two glasses from the cupboard and slowly pour two huge glasses of wine. He handed her one of the glasses which she quickly placed on the coffee table hoping he wouldn't notice… well that was stupid... he noticed everything she did.

"What's up? Its not like you to pass up on alcohol"

"God, you make me sound like an alcoholic" she said letting out a small laugh

He just smiled at her and kissed her softly… "I love you you know?"

"I love you too" she said back cautiously

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong? And don't say nothing because I know" he said raising an eyebrow to her… she felt like she was being told off like a naughty school girl.

She just stared at him. She could feel the tears starting to well, but fought them back. She was not weak and definitely did not want him to think she was.

"Emily…. Talk to me. We're not leaving this sofa until you tell me what's up"

"I errrrr…. I'm…. I'm sorry"

"Sorry for what?" He looked at her confused. Then the confusion turned into something else. He looked angry, like he was expecting her to tell him she had cheated on him or something equally as bad. She quickly realised this and didn't want him to think that of her for one second more.

"I'm…. I'm pregnant"

She stared at him. She was really annoyed that she couldn't tell what he was thinking… she was usually so good at this stuff. But there was nothing… nada…his face was expressionless. She didn't know what to say. She could feel her heart racing… all in a fluster. She had to say something to break this ridiculous silence.

"It's ok. I don't expect anything of you"… the truth was that she wanted everything from him… "I understand that you're probably not ready for this…. I know I'm not, but I'm kinda out of choices here… I'm sorry Shaun, I don't know what else….

Before she had finished her sentence he kissed her and then looked at her…gave her one of those annoyingly all consuming grins again.

"I couldn't think of anything more perfect than you having my baby Emily… marry me"

"What?"

"You heard me… marry me"

He brain was telling her that this was ridiculous, but right now it was all that she wanted to hear from him.

"OK"

"OK? Is that it?"

"Of course I will… I love you so much"

Emily continued to be shell shocked for some time but she was so happy at the same time. Could this really be happening? It all seemed too perfect. These things never happened to her. She never believed she could have a happy ending… and she was so right.

They planned to get married after the baby was born. Not to her mother's liking, but there was so much to sort out. They spent the time leading up to the birth doing up their new home ready for the new addition.

Emily gave birth to a healthy baby girl. They called her Katie Elizabeth Brandon. Emily wasn't overjoyed at having a different surname to her daughter, but knew that would soon be rectified.

The next few weeks were a blur … no sleep, dirty nappies and endless feeding. The worse time for Shaun to get the news he would be sent overseas again.

A couple of weeks before he was due to leave Shaun seemed a bit distracted but Emily had neither the time or the energy to worry about it. When the time came Emily reluctantly said goodbye to Shaun not knowing when she'd speak to him again. As much as she missed him, Emily got into her own routine and accepted that this was her life to come… she had always been independent and perfectly capable of coping on her own… it would just be nice to have him around. She would make the most of him when he was home.

Shaun was away for six weeks the first time and back for three. Again he seemed distracted and distant… was he having second thoughts about the whole 'family' thing? She never dared to bring the marriage subject up… he seemed stressed and she didn't want to add to it and she definitely knew better than to ask about work.

After six months Emily returned to work. She loved Katie but needed her own thing. She was lucky that they could afford a wonderful nanny… Lucia. Shaun had been away again. When he eventually came home this time there was no 'happy to see you animal sex', no 'I've missed you' and no 'I love you'. Something was very very wrong.

She tried to talk to him, but he shut her out. He barely acknowledged Katie which is what hurt the most. Emily would rather he just leave if that's what their life was going to be like… they had managed perfectly fine without him.

Lying in bed one morning, contemplating how she was going to broach this subject, everything changed. Shaun bought her breakfast in bed, with a single red rose on the tray. He then went and got Katie and placed her in between them and the three of them snuggled making Emily so so happy. Was this a turning point? Had he finally snapped out of whatever it was he was in? Shaun cuddled up to Emily and Katie, kissed Emily on the forehead and said, "I love you very much, never forget that". He smiled and got out of bed. Emily was confused but so happy to have him back.

Shaun told her he was going to take Katie out for the day and he wanted Emily to relax. She sunk back in the bed and listened to him getting everything ready before he left. He came in, gave her a kiss goodbye, let her kiss Katie and left… that was the last time she saw either of them.