"Have you no shame? The Bann's brother lies dying or already dead, and still you make advances towards him?"
"He indulges me," she shrugged.
"He should not! This is the most inappropriate time for such a thing. In a few short hours the village will be under siege once more. The two of you, of all people, should not be preoccupied with flirting, of all things!"
"Then perhaps you should be having this discussion with Bann Teagan. It is his brother and his brother's village, after all."
"But you, Elissa, you do this everywhere we go—throwing yourself at the men we come across, for seemingly no reason other than..." His cheeks were aflame. He was well out of his comfort zone with this conversation and she knew it.
"I don't see the problem, Alistair."
"But don't you want more than just... that? You deserve so much more," he stepped closer.
"It hardly matters."
"Of course it matters!" he urged, reaching for her hand.
She pulled away from him, stepping back.
"You don't understand," she said softly, looking at the floor between them. Her composure was slipping quickly. Avoiding his eyes would hopefully give her the strength she needed to make a clean exit. She took another step back, then turned to walk away.
"Can you not see that I love you?"
She froze, closed her eyes, and sighed quietly.
She turned to face him. His handsome features were twisted in desperation, his eyes searching for any sign of understanding. Tears stung in the corners of her eyes as she felt her heart break. There he stood, professing his love for her, not in the perfect moment or perfect way, but to the woman he thought was perfect. He was the one who deserved more. So much more.
Her eyes met his.
"Love is but the delusion of dreamers and fools."
He closed the gap between them and took her hands in his.
"Then I am a fool for you."
Maker help me. Her heart skipped a beat; her breath hitched; a single tear broke free, spilling over and slowly rolling down her cheek; her body was betraying her. She could feel her heart racing, trying to pull her closer to him.
She gripped his hands and let the tears run over as she spoke.
"Grey Warden or not, I am still the last remaining Cousland, and I have duties to fulfill, expectations to meet, once the Blight has ended, assuming I am to survive. Bann Teagan is kind," she forced a smile, her cheeks shining from the tears, "he has a warm heart. He might even be funny." She squeezed his hands tighter and took a deep breath, bracing herself, "If I must marry a nobleman, I would be happy for it to be him."
Alistair dropped to his knees. He pressed her fingers to his lips, kissing them lightly over and over. Every single moment that had passed between them since Ostagar had felt like the worst possible moment to tell her his secret. But he'd been wrong.