A/N: Once I heard this song, I knew I had to do a song!fic with it. The artist is A Fine Frenzy, the song is Almost Lovers. You don't have to know the song, but I suggest putting it on repeat while reading this. This fandom hasn't had some good angst in a while, I hope I did a justice. Hopefully sending some more one shots your way, depends on how well this goes over. Happy New Year!
Disclaimer: Disclaimed
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
clever trick
That summer was just... beautiful. It was the summer of my senior year, I was just figuring out who I was. He was the mysterious kid who was staying with his grandparents for the summer; I was that cliche girl-next-door. After his parents died, he decided to come out to Nebraska for the summer before going to college.
We fell hopelessly, endlessly, in love. Its the type of thing you read about in books, or watch in corny old movies. That manner of love that's all but forgotten in the world we live in. He was kind of charming. And kind of annoying. And utterly and completely the kind of man any girl can't help but to fall desperately in love with.
We walked along a crowed street
You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never forget these images
It was summer; we got lost in the suns warmth, filtering through the trees. Running on the beach. Diving in the lake. Walking through those little old towns. Teaching him to drive the tractor. Getting lost in our dreams, making empty promises. We were love drunk, simply intoxicated with each other. I couldn't get enough of him; we would stay up all night just to see the sun set and rise. He would whisper things into my hair, and I would smile into his kisses. He would caress my face, and I would stare into his eyes. He would hold me like I was the most precious thing in the world. The summer grew on and we stayed by each others sides. We danced in the rain, talked for hours in the moonlit old barn. We camped out side like children, and drove in his old truck. Down old dirt roads that were long forgotten. Getting lost in the maze of cornfields, staring into the endlessness of the mountains surrounding us. It was like we were on the top of the world, the only two people on Earth. But all good things come to an end. I knew he would have to leave come fall, but I didn't care. I knew I would have to go back to my boarding school, but I didn't care. I threw caution to the wind. Who knew when I would find another guy who actually noticed me. Zach was the drug I needed. We didn't care about what our parents said. I didn't care about what anyone said. Figures I would fall in love with the boy who couldn't stay.
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
The summer waned, and we knew he had to leave for the city soon. Our love was languishing, ending. Our last day together we spent laying around in the old barn, just talking. Whispering sweet nothings into each others ears, desperately avoiding the inevitable.
"Will you call? Write?"
"I don't know Cam, the city's far away, and I'm gonna be studying hard. I can't just ruin this opportunity."
I felt my heart nearly break when he said that. I look down at my feet in my old worn boots. I look at the hay piles in the rafters of the barn, that I would try to climb when I was a toddler. That I hid in while playing hide and go seek when I was a kid. Where Zach and I first kissed. Anywhere but his face, the face of the boy that I love so much it hurts. He puts finger on my chin and lifts it up so I am looking into his beautiful green eyes.
"But I'll try, okay? It's just gonna be hard." he says it to me, and gives me the sweetest forlorn smile. I almost believe him for a second. I want to believe him. Letting out a breath, I give him a small smile. I promised myself I would not cry, at least while I was still him. I wanted to remember these last moments as happy ones.
"Yeah, I get it. Just... " I pause, thinking for a moment, "Just don't forget about me okay? About... us."
I say, cocking my head to the side, trying to see if he's in as much pain as I am. He looks at me for a moment, and then shifts his weight and looks down.
"Cam... I'm going to college, I don't, I don't think we... I don't think I'm coming back." he offers me a small, bittersweet smile. I swallow, tears welling in my eyes.
"I know Zach. Don't be a stranger though, okay?" I say. He looks at me and puts one hand on the small of my back, while the other resting on my cheek. He pulls me in for a kiss, and I kiss him for all it's worth. We stand there for a long while, kissing, soft and slow, trying to savor every last moment. I pull away from him, my hands now draped around his neck.
"Zach, you have to go soon" I say, so softly I'm not even sure if I said it out loud. If I look at him any longer I may burst into tears. His eyes are just swimming with sadness, regret. I've seen a lot of faces on Zach in our short time together, but never have I seen this one.
"I love you, you know that?" he says softly, putting emphasis on the word love. He's not really one to be sentimental, or show his emotions. Hearing him say I love you for the first time, now, when he's leaving, one tear slides down my face. He pulls me into a hug, and he holds me tightly. I sob quietly into his cotton tee shirt, inhaling his scent. He holds me tight and whispers soothing words. Once I stop crying and after a few calming breaths, he let's go of me. I step back as he goes to check his watch for the time. It's about eight, and the sun is setting. The sunset looks like any other, the beautiful pinks and purples streaking across the valley below. So many sunsets just like this one we have watched together. He sighs and takes my hand as we walk out of the barn and towards his car. We loaded everything in the day before, and it stands waiting for him to drive the twelve hour journey it is to the city. There are closer towns, but the University is in the big city. I have only been there a few times in my life. My boarding school is six hours in the opposite direction.
Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Cant you just let me be
He turns to me and says,
"So this is it."
"You know, I feel like I'm in one of those bad chick flicks." except you aren't coming back.
He laughs softly and kisses me on my forehead. He says a quiet goodbye, and turns and walks to his car, opening the door. My heart lurches in my chest and I give up my steeled resolve.I cry out a desperate "Zach!" and he turns as I run to him, and pull my face to his. Our tongues dance as my hands rest on his cheeks. He runs one hand through my long, sunkissed, hair and puts his other on the small of my back. He pulls away and whispers
"I have to leave"
"I know." I whisper back, a little breathless and defeated. Defeated that I can't make him stay. Defeated that he doesn't want to stay, or that he doesn't want me enough to stay. I back up as he gets into the car. He turns the key int he ignition and the car rumbles to life. I stand there, one hand across my middle while the other is on my face, trying to stop the constant stream of tears. I watch him drive away, in his dusty old sedan, the license plate hanging on one side. I see in his review mirror, him wiping away a ghost of a tear, but his eyes look dry and hardened with resolve. It's that cliche moment, me running into his arms, and then him driving down the old dirt driveway that will turn to asphalt eventually that makes me stay there and cry. I stand there for what may have been hours, crying into my hands, hiccuping uncontrollably. I sink to my knees, crying in the warm summer night. I eventually crawl to the barn and realize that even with all the cliche moments in my life, it's not a fairy tale. Or even a bad romantic comedy. If it was, he would have turned around and come back, gallantly swooping in and sweeping me off my feet. But it's not. It's the story of an ordinary girl that who fell in love with a broken boy. So I lay in the barn well into the night, sobbing quietly about how misguided we all have been about love. Not everyone gets their fairy tales.
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out
of my life?