To say that this was just not Shisui's day would be the understatement of the year- the century- screw it, the entireUchiha history. Here he is, hands clutching his stomach in a death grip as he doubles over the toilet, trying to keep himself from almost literally exploding.

"Itachi," he wheezed. "I don't think now is really a great time." His stomach agreed as a highly disturbing sound followed suit from his bum. If Itachi was perturbed or even the slightest bit disgusted from the questionable sounds coming from the other side of the bathroom door, his voice didn't show it.

"This is important," his dear cousin deadpanned. Shisui would have found his boyfriend's low voice soothing on any other day, but right now Itachi's flat tone was just outrageous in this situation. Shisui made a strangled noise to keep himself from screaming.

"Can't it wait?" Toot, toot, toot, bellowed his rear. His arse was going to be in a world of pain when this is all over. "For the love of god, Itachi, when I get my hands on whoever served the eggnog--" but the love of his life intervened quickly.

"I did it," he gushed. "I served the eggnog." For a moment even Shisui's stomach stopped in shock at the revelation.

"Wh-wha-"

"It was actually meant for Uncle Madara," he clarified. His voice was just a tiny pitch higher than usual, Itachi nervously fidgeted with his fingers, glad that Shisui couldn't see it. "And I don't know what happened but you somehow got a hold of it instead and... and..."

"... and now I'm here."

Silence.

"I tried to stop you," he mumbled meekly. Itachi could not feel any more fortunate that he couldn't see Shisui's expression right at this moment. But hey, it wasn't his fault that his boyfriend had a bad habit of downing everything in his sight in one go! He waited a moment or two for a reaction, but he received none. When a full 30 seconds passed in silence, he began to get worried until his lover yelped in a raspy voice:

"Itachi, when I'm done here I'm gonna kill youooouuurrgh-" But Itachi was already gone by the time he finished that sentence.
After all, he thought, it was his fault his lover and best friend of a lifetime was experiencing explosive diarrhea. What better way is there, he reasoned, than to make up for what has happened by accomplishing what he set out to do in the first place?

Itachi felt guilty for forcing Shisui through that horrible experience, but he steeled his expression as he made up his mind, poured another cup of eggnog, and made his way to Madara once more.

That night Fugaku was the one to share the same fate as his home wrecking nephew, doubling over the toilet and cursing whoever had served the eggnog.

A/N: What the hell did I just write. I really don't know either. I just wanted to put my OTP in the most retarded situations. xD