Theodore Nott's GUIDE TO HOGWARTS
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The only book you will ever need as a student joining Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, this guide examines in depth every aspect of the school cynically and truthfully.
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Critical Acclaim:
"Indispensible!" (Random Hufflepuff First Year)
"Full of sarcastic wit and humor, but not to be taken seriously I hope." (Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore)
"A collection of barely humorous rumors and general slights against the student body. Detention." (Minerva McGonagall)
"As if things weren't bad enough, someone had to publish a book outlining every shortcoming of this school. Very inappropriate (but true)." (Severus Snape)
"Er…" (Harry Potter)
"Oh, for Merlin's sake, shut up, Nott." (Draco Malfoy)
"Yeah." (Vincent Crabbe)
"Yeah." (Gregory Goyle)
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© SlytherNott Publications Ltd, 1993.
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The author accepts no responsibility for any bodily harm that may occur from the quoting of facts from this book to any individuals mentioned within. Any advice in this book is to be followed at your own risk.