Part I – A Time-Tested Love – Sirius

He had first seen her again at the Quiddich match, he realized later. She had been there, up in the stands, nose in a book. His eyes, the traitors, had passed over her, focusing instead on the son-of-his-friend (who was also his godson), who was flying just as the boy's father had, once. He hadn't realized who she was. When he realized it, later, he laughed, a bitter, pain-filled laugh. The raspy noise had told of all the years it had been since he had last seen her.

He had first sensed her when the cat with the disgruntled expression and the quick wits recognized the dog for the man inside. He had scented her on this new friend that night, but had told himself that it had been twelve years, that he must have forgotten, that imagination was playing its cruel trick on him, just as it always did. (Because, let's face it, twelve years in Azkaban can make anyone go crazy, and thought he may still be sane, he's far from untouched.)

He first realizes the truth that nightmare-night in the Shrieking Shack. At first he had been so focused on destroying the worm/rat/man that had betrayed James and Lily, betrayed her, that he didn't notice the-girl-she-had-once-been come along with the red-haired boy and the green-eyed James. But then Remus, his old friend Moony, comes, and the werewolf/teacher's glances at the young, buck-toothed, bushy-haired girl, the girl he used to know but doesn't yet, tell him the truth.

And then she calls him 'Mr. Black' and his heart begins to break; because she's so obviously just as smart as ever but not quite smart enough to notice that he loved her, once. And she's still so young…

Later, after many long nights and shared laughs with Moony, all the while hiding from those who didn't know he didn't do it, as well as worrying over a godson who looked so much like another person-he-used-to-know, and he can almost pretends he's forgotten her, that he isn't haunted by her laugh at night.

But then, the summer before her Fifth year, she shows up at his house and all the pain comes back, because god he still loves her and he can't believe how much older she looks, so that he can't help but be reminded of the girl-he-loved. And yet, while the memories of her haunt him, the innocent look in her eyes does as well, because the one he had known had herself known so much pain, and god what happened to her between now and then?

When she leave the house he feels trapped in, it both relieves and hurts him; because when she's here all he can think about is her, and when she's gone he only feels her absence all the more. And yet the knowledge that she doesn't go back quite yet comforts him, because that means so many people he cares about stays alive for now, because they were still breathing when he met her for the first time. (Second, for her.)

Then the house-elf that he never liked anyways betrays him and his godson decides to do what Prongs would have done, and he's never been more afraid in his life, because she came with Harry to the ministry. And during the night of shouted spells and not-knowing whether or not she'll be okay, even though he knows she has to be, because she hasn't gone back yet, his cousin with the crazy eyes and the wild laugh pushes him into the veil.

And as his world goes black, he realizes why she always kissed him like they had no tomorrow (because they hadn't, not really), and the meaning behind so many of the strange things she said, when she said she loved him the most.

His next thought is how much he still loves her, even though she'll never be his again.

His last thought is her name.

Hermione.