A/N: Heya kiddies! HiKaoru-sempai here! Lol. Well, here is the most troublesome piece of work that has been my absolute pleasure to start. My NaruSasu vs. HiKaoru "gay wars" fic! I spent countless nights…okay, about 6 nights…trying to get this first chapter done! So here's just the basic 'how it started' kind of chapter. I liked it a lot, so I hope you do too.

What inspired me to do this story…I think it was my struggle trying to chose which was my favorite pairing. Either that, or the fact that for the time being, HiKaoru is my fave and NaruSasu is my best friend Yady's fave. Well, whatever the case, here it is.

Now, to the disclaimers: No, I do not own Naruto, nor Ouran High School Host Club. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and Bisco Hatori…what a drag. If I did own either…hahaha, well, prepare for the worst!xD

Twins: What the hell is this?

HiKaoru: My imagination going wild. Like it or lump it.

Twins: *incoherent yelling*

Sasuke: Hmph…you know how incite a riot.

Naruto: Yeah…believe it!

HiKaoru: I have the strangest feeling that writing this with these fools around, just might be a drag…

Sasuke: But I do like being able to punk on rich kids.

HiKaoru: Thank you, Sasuke…*relieved sigh*

Sasuke: But you're still a moron for liking the whole NaruSasu thing. Y'know what, I'm gonna go. I have some revenge to take over.

HiKaoru: *anger vein* *flips middle finger* I know you love the idea so shut up, Uchiha!

Sasuke: I'm avenging Kishimoto-san for this by killing you after I'm done with Itachi.

Hikaru: Leave her alone! You're such a prick!

Kaoru: *comforts HiKao-sempai* Don't worry.

HiKaoru: *whiney crying* Wahhhhhh! Death threat! Put the Uchiha in a straightjacket!

Naruto: Well, now to the troublesome piece of work, believe it!

"Gay Wars: Twincest vs. Frienemies"

[A HiKaoru vs. NaruSasu Fanfic]

"Okay Naruto, I will allow you to go to this school of sorts. But you must treat it like a mission. Do not let anyone no you're a ninja. Keep a low profile and please do not get to angry; the last thing we need is that demon of yours running around in the city."

"Yeah, yeah Grandma I won't! You can count on me, believe it!"

"Oh, and Naruto? You have to take some one with you just in case. Should I get Kakashi? Jiriaya?"

"No way Grandma! I know just who to take!"

"No Naruto, I'm not going."

"Oh pleeeeeeeaaaasseee, teme? I promise to be good! It'll only be a few months!"

"What do I get outta this, Naruto?"

"What do you want, teme?"

"I want to be on top…the whole time. I don't like it when you fight me to be seme. Nine times out of ten, I'll be seme. Got it…uke?"

"Okay Sasuke! No biggie, believe it! So will you come with me?"

"Yeah, fine."

"Yay!"

And there the couple walked hand in hand in the hallways of the richest school in all of Japan. The floors were the best of tiles that were most likely handcrafted by the best. The chandeliers that hung on the extremely high ceiling shined illuminant, though it was quite unnecessary. There were huge glass windows almost as high as the ceiling that were streak-free and without a scratch.

The sunshine blonde of the couple squeezed onto his teme's hand. Said dobe, was a nighttime blue haired boy. The blonde boy, Naruto Uzumaki, smiled with a little nervousness showing, but his utter confidence outshined that. Naruto's blue haired dobe, Sasuke Uchiha, stared longingly at the ground, dragging his feet. Through his peripheral vision, he saw girls staring at him and Naruto with heart-filled eyes. The guys just stared menacingly. Naruto looked at Sasuke with a small smile.

"Didn't I tell you this place was amazing?"

"I feel like an idiot, and I don't need my Sharingan to know that people are talking about us…already."

"Oh teme! Why would people talk about us?" Sasuke glared at his boyfriend slightly.

"We're a gay couple. And we're new…"

"Omigod, we're GAY?" Naruto laughed at his joke, nudging Sasuke with his hip. He continued, "I'm kidding teme, believe it. And I mean, c'mon! There has to be another gay couple here…"

Without all technicalities being said, there was another couple…

Further down the hall stood two gorgeous redhead boys surrounded by a pool of girls. Now, these two boys were considered the gay couple of the school Ouran Academy. But there was three falters with that. One, is that this was an act. Two, they are brothers. Thirdly, they are twin brothers. Now these twins were part of the Ouran Host Club along with 4 other gorgeous boys and a girl disguised as a guy. Their act was twincestual gay brotherly love taboo, which is apparently beyond believable.

"So this guy was in the water basically having a seizure…" The twin with his hair parted on the left said laughing lightly. "with a crab pinching on his foot. He was crying hard!"

"Teehee, poor Kaoru!" a fan girl squeaked. The twin with his hair parted on the right blushed on the verge of tears.

"Hikaru," he began. "I told you not to tell anyone about that." He tilted his head until his brother's hand caught his face. The hair-parted-on-the-left twin intertwined his fingers with his brother's and brought it up to his face.

"I'm sorry Kaoru, but you're adorable when you cry." He whispered before he kissed his hand. And with that, the girls went crazy; wooing over the beauty of such a (gay) brotherly moment.

Now this is how a typical Hitachiin act would be. The twin with his hair parted on the left was Hikaru, the other was Kaoru. Hikaru usually tries to embarrass Kaoru, Kaoru gets embarrassed, and Hikaru would cheer him up in the most homo way possible, and the girls would go gaga over them.

Hikaru was secretly in love with his brother, he just never had the nerve to say it. Kaoru was one to fantasize not only about his brother doing him, but other guys as well. Either way, they loved being fawned on about their taboo-like act. The girls wouldn't leave them alone…

Well…for the time being at least…

Naruto and Sasuke walked down the hallway together. The eyes of many Ouran students all aimed at the blonde & blue couple. Naruto listened to his insanely loud iPod, knocking his head. Sasuke just looked out the window, trying to ignore the stares and comments. 'Oh why did I let him talk me into this? I do too much for him. The sex better be good tonight.'

Next thing you know, Naruto's hand slipped from his dobe's and he let out a loud "Gyaaaaahhh!" Naruto reached his arms out around his dobe's neck soon after his dobe had grabbed his waist. Everyone looked in awe and disgust at blonde klutz and suave raven. The hardest stares came from two, rather envious, twin redheads.

"Geez Naruto. Pay attention, okay?' Sasuke said as he hefted his boyfriend up. "How'd you even fall?"

"I tripped over myself, sorry teme." Naruto sighed softly and bowed his head. His dobe simply lifted up his head and kissed him on the lips.

"Don't be sorry."

Well, somebody's gonna get jealous, huh?

The mob of girls turned and stared at the couple, almost completely forgetting the Hitachiins. They squealed together in unison, "Oh how cute! The blonde on called him teme! They kissed! Eeeeeeeeeeep!©"

The two twins, at first, stared blankly. But Hikaru's expression changed to a rather unimpressed one as he cocked an eyebrow. Kaoru, on the other hand, stared hard at the raven-haired teme and bit his lip. Sasuke was an alabaster pale boy with dark blue 'duck' hair. The dobe had a toned body...well, he could tell by the fit of the uniform on Sasuke. He wondered what the dobe would look like shirtless. His thoughts were interrupted by his immature older brother.

"Well," he began sarcastically. "what a show! Did you practice that? Because that was great." Naruto looked at the twin carefully, then looked at his teme.

"Huh, what do you mean? I just tripped and my boyfriend caught me." Naruto stood there confused as Hikaru chuckled. Kaoru, now completely out of his Sasuke fantasy, stood next to Hikaru and put a hand around his waist. Kaoru looked the couple up and down. He was seriously eyeballing Sasuke, but then looked at Naruto in disgust. Or was it jealousy?

"Heh, boyfriend eh? How much is he paying you?" Kaoru said as he and his twin began to laugh. A high five followed.

"BURN!" The twins chanted in unison.

Oh Kami, if they weren't undercover…

Naruto felt hurt at that comment. He almost actually believed that his boyfriend was pimping him, but he knew it wasn't true. To hide his drawing back, he stuck out his chest proudly.

"Who the hell are you to call me a-" He was stopped when his dobe put an arm out in front of him. Naruto relaxed his chest as Sasuke pushed him back a step. 'Teme to the rescue.' he thought.

"Look it here doppelgangers," Sasuke started. "don't be talking to my Naruto-kun like that and putting shit-fucked thoughts in his head. I would never dream of pimping him, got it?" Naruto smiled at the braveness he was showing…just for him. Sasuke stepped up and looked Hikaru dead in the eyes. "What now?" Sasuke chuckled.

Hikaru, obviously baffled at the dobe's headstrong aggression, stepped out and stuck out his chest. He became defensive. "Who the hell are you to be calling us doppelgangers, you duck-ass haired newbie? You and that whore need to watch your step! This is OUR turf!" Hikaru looked up at said one-inch-taller, duck-ass-haired dobe.

Sasuke clenched his eyes tightly. He felt the power of the Sharingan and Cursed Mark, but he successfully contained them both, well the Sharingan. He opened his eyes and glared at Hikaru. With no where else for the Cursed Mark power to go, he shoved Hikaru HARD. Kaoru caught him just in time as Sasuke said in an angry voice, "Like I said before, DON'T call my lover a whore. And you're one to talk about duck-ass hairdo's, so stand down. I don't care if this is your turf or not."

A crowd of Ouran students surrounded them from a safe distance. Hikaru looked at Sasuke with fire in his eyes. Sasuke only smirked, and with that, Hikaru charged full speed with a fist. Sasuke prepared to block the hit, when an arm shot out from right next to his head. The arm caught Hikaru's punch a mere few inches from Sasuke's face. Sasuke, shocked, turned around to see who had saved his face from possible damage. Behind him, stood a tall boy with short, black hair carrying a smaller blonde boy holding an usagi.

"Hikaru, not a good idea." The tall one uttered, the blonde nodding in agreement. The bell rang and the crowd dispersed. Hikaru took a deep breath and snatched his fist out of the tall boy's hand.

"Okay Mori-senpai, Honey-senpai. Come on, Kaoru!" And with that, he shoved by Sasuke roughly, mumbling, "Duck-ass."

Suppressing the urge to punch that damn twin in his face, Sasuke clenched his fist. He took a few deep breaths before saying calmly, "Come on, Naruto." Naruto cautiously walked over and took his hand. "Aishiteru." Naruto squeezed his hand tightly.

"Aishiteru teme, believe it."

So was this modern warfare…?

Kaoru walked toward the loving NaruSasu couple. He was glaring at Naruto hard. He stood in front of the two and pushed on Naruto's shoulder.

"What the hell?" the blonde yelled.

"Pride before a fall…Naru-dork." Kaoru said calmly.

"Naru-dork? Whatever. What's that supposed to mean anyways?"

"Hehe, dumb blondie. All I will say is keep your eye on that dobe of yours."

"Well." Sasuke began, interfering. "keep an eye on that seme of a twin."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. Kaoru, is it? I see right through you. Does Hikaru know he's seme yet?"

Kaoru was stunned for words as the couple shoved past him. He listened as their footsteps got father. Then they stopped.

"Oh, and Kaoru?" Naruto said without turning around. Kaoru, who was still stunned by Sasuke's discovery, refused to turn around. "Can you stop staring at my teme? Yes, he's gorgeous, but you've got your own. It's disturbing, believe it." Kaoru heard the footsteps moving away again and ran in the opposite direction.

'What the hell is up with those two. They're so weird. And that delicious teme, ugh! How did he hit back Hikaru so hard. And how did he figure out my sweetest ambition: to fuck my brother…or for him to fuck me. Besides the point. I only know one person who can help me with this…'

Kaoru ran past his homeroom to the A-class, second years' homeroom. "Kyoya-senpai." He whispered as he ran down the hall.

A/N: Well, what do ya think? Honestly, I liked writing it, but I don't wanna continue writing it if no one likes it. Plus, I've got a handful of yaoi to write as it is. If you like it, then most definitely I will continue it. Just so we're perfectly clear, I write yaoi as a hobby, so this story helps me avoid an overdependence on it. Another thing, my friend didn't exactly help me define 'teme' and 'dobe', so please help me out. / I'm so embarrassed. I will try not to write to much yaoi…(unless you want me to, because I always have a brainload.) I actually wanna do a Sai thing too. Anywho, review it and I'll love you all. Actually, HiKaoru-sempai loves you all!©

(My name might change…unfortunately…v.v* Give me some ideas, onegai?)