So I'm back! I finally have internet at home and despite my 55hr a week work schedule I really wanted to write something since it had been so long. Reviews are always appreciated even if its just to tell me I suck. It has been a very long time since I've written anything so I figured I'd throw out another song fic and see how it turned out. The song is called Hymn For The Missing by Red and yeah this fic is a little sad but the idea has been in my head for months sooo here it is.
I tried to walk together
But the night was growing dark
Thought you were beside me
But I reached and you were gone
Sometimes I hear you calling
From some lost and distant shore
I hear you crying softly for the way it was before
"Tori!"
Waking up in yet another cold sweat Jade sat up out of bed and quickly scanned her surroundings. After catching her breath and reaching for the glass of water on her bedside table Jade slowly got out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom. Rinsing her face off with cold water she apprehensively looked at her reflection in the mirror. "Damn". she whispered as she saw the dark circles under her eyes and her even paler than usual complexion. Every night since she lost her world she had been having the same dream. Jade sat down on the side of he bath tub as the memory of the dream came flooding back to her yet again.
Jade and Tori take a late night stroll along the shore line. They both stop for a second to share a chaste kiss and become lost in each others eyes. Despite how happy this moment is Jade cant help but notice an unknown feeling of trepidation growing between the two women. Just as they're about to restart their walk Tori dead in her tracks with a look of fear in her eyes as a large black cloud rises from the ocean. Before either of them can react the cloud quickly swoops in and engulfs Tori. The cloud soon disappears leaving Jade alone and frantically searching for Tori. After running along the beach screaming Tori's name Jade finds Trina sitting by herself on the beach. Trina casually looks up at Jade and asks "wheres Tori?". Taken aback by the calmness in Trina's voice Jade barely manages to sputter out "I-I lost her…"
Where are you now?
Are you lost?
Will I find you again?
Are you alone?
Are you afraid?
Are you searching for me?
Why did you go?
I had to stay
Now I'm reaching for you
Will you wait? Will you wait?
Will I see you again?
Realizing sleep is futile at this point Jade walks out of the bathroom and into the living room. Making her way to the book shelf she pulls down the scrap book Tori had made just before graduation. Sitting on the couch Jade began to slowly flip through it sometimes even managing to give small smiles at the pictures of old friends and classmates. When she got to the last picture in the book she had to use all her willpower to keep from crying again. The picture was of Tori and her their senior year of high school. After years of fighting and bickering Tori had been the first to confess her true feelings for Jade. After more fighting and bickering about both of them taking so long to tell each other Tori grabbed Jade's face and gave her a soft kiss to end the argument. Sinjin had happened to be spying on them as usual took a picture of the kiss. After some threats of bodily harm from Jade Sinjin had agreed to give them a copy of the picture then delete it from his camera. Closing the scrap book Jade closed her eyes and for the 50th straight night since Tori's death she prayed for some kind of sign that Tori was at least ok wherever she was.
You took it with you when you left
These scars are just a trace
Now it wanders, lost and wounded
This heart that I misplaced
Before Jade opened her eyes again, another memory began to surface. Jade immediately tensed up and buried her face in her hands knowing she couldn't stop her mind from reliving it but wishing desperately she could.
"Im afraid she has a malignant tumor that's covering sixty percent of her brain" the doctor told Jade. Jade stood in the waiting room too stunned to even respond at first but after a moment she asked "what..what can we do?". A sorrowful look flashed across the doctors face as he cleared his throat and said "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. The tumor is to big to operate on and even with chemo and radiation she'd still only have a few weeks to live because of its advanced stage. I'm sorry, I wish there was more I could do". After hearing all this Jade slowly sat down in the chair and began to cry.
Three weeks after the news Jade found herself standing by Tori's hospital bed holding her hand. Doing her best to fight back tears she slowly leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Tori's lips and said "how am I going to do this? I'm already lost on what to do here and I can't lose you cause then I lose the only part of me I ever considered worth a damn.." Tori interrupted Jade's rant with a finger on her lips. "sweetie" said Tori. "your not losing me, you'll never lose me. I know how stubborn you are. You'll always have a way to find me". Unable to see clearly due to the tears in her eyes Jade didn't realize after those last words Tori's eyes closed and her breathing stopped. The rest of the memory was a blur of doctors and the sound of a heart monitor flat lining.
With the memory slowing fading from her mind Jade slowly got up from the couch and made her way back into the bedroom. Laying down in the bed she turned to the spot where Tori once slept and whispered "I still cant find you Vega, Im sorry. Maybe you could try finding me?…"
Where are you now?Are you lost?
Will I find you again?
Are you alone?
Are you afraid?
Are you searching for me?
Why did you go?
I had to stay
Now I'm reaching for you
Will you wait? Will you wait?Will I see you again?