Once in a blue moon, not too many months ago (well, it happened last week, but lets just pretend that this took about a month to get this story straight), 2-D (you know, the singer) woke up somewhat early from what the usual time slot he is used to waking up around on, mainly because his stomach's was just roaring like a lion eagerly desperate to wanting to have sex, that's how bad his tiny little blue stomach was acting up. "God-damn, man, I'm Fuckin' hungry!", he said to himself while lifting himself off of his bed. he picks up his alarm clock right near his head-rest to see what time it was. "3:32 in the morning? Geez Loiz", he said with an expression as if he was shocked (who wouldn't get shocked to see when they wake up at a wrong time? I know I had.) luckily he whispered his words 'cause the band members (including the new guy, Ace, that bastard) Would all get upset on the fact of being rudely interrupted whilst on the mist of dreaming about sugarplum hookers and celluloid tits rubbing on there faces while they are done from random concerts. (well this doesn't apply to noodle, she mostly dreams of herself having a Dick so she can rape her man fans if she wanted to) it was their holy matrimony to them, and 2-Dicks known this too, but he figured it out in order to not wake any of these fuckers up, "I'll have to sneak in slowly into the kitchen, yeah, that's it, just sneak my ass up in there, grab anything I could find to eat, and make my way back into my room, 'cause I'm about to eat the ass end of a beautiful and voluptuousness black woman if I Don't hurry!" so, without hesitation, he takes off his shoes just so the floors wouldn't creak or thump whenever he walked (pretty weird that he would wear shoes on while in bed, but whatever) and opens his door real slowly.

He peaked his head out of the door to see if none of these other bandmates were spontaneously awake as well. "Phew", he sighed as he walked out of the door, he tip-toed on his way onto the kitchen, and these dammed floors were cold to the bone, well actually, the whole house was cold all around, and they had a fireplace, they were just too lazy to chop Any wood down for a change. "man I should have grabbed a jacket or something, this is Fuckin nuts how cold it is around here.", he whispered to himself, even though he passed through the damn fiteplace, and, successfully, made it into the kitchen without getting his head punched in. Upon his arrival into the kitchen, he opens up the fridge doors and starts to notice that there's apparently sandwich material, a few eggs, a full case of beer, and a bag of Doritos. "Damn, well I guess a stupid sandy will have to do for me in the morning.", he said. Eager to eat, 2-Buttcheeks began to prepare himself a sandwich, of course, and the fact that they only had pastrami instead of turkey, 2-Holes was precisely picky about his lunch meats. turkey, for one, was his most favorite while the others mostly dig the ham and beef and all that sandwich nonsence that nobody needed to care about but just added there for knowledgeable reasons, "man I gotta tell Russell to shop better, he usually doesn't buy the right type of shit that we ask for.", he said, "but luckily, he got Guinness this time, can't stand those awful mikes hard lemonades, they suck.", he added, but he decided to use this meat anyway cause, you know, he was starving at the moment. He added mustard and relish (if were gonna get too personal about what condiments he likes to use) grabbed a beer, added some chips along the way, and he was eventually settled. While finishing up, 2-Shits decides to go into the living room and possibly watch some tv if he was lucky enough to pull it off, you know, not blast the set so damn loud. (Why he didn't have a TV in his room, I do not know) "you know what? I think I will watch the news, probably get myself up and ready early before I have to deal with stupid interviews and all that wondrous celebrity bullshit." (I guess going back into his room didn't hit his mind while in the living room, but, oh well.) 2-Balls sat his plate on a table and went into the said, living room, and for some odd reason, was playing around with their furniture in a Goldilocks fashion. He was picking to see of which kind of chair to sit on. (this is silly, but you haven't heard the rest of it yet) he sat onto the recliner first, but his first reaction was "mm.. Too comfortable."

Then he changed his mind and moved onto the couch, and then again, his reaction was "mm.. Too relaxing." then finally he went over to grab his food from the table and just pulled up a chair real gently putting it close to the recliner and this time, his reaction was "wow. Just right." so with all the fiddle-fondling around like a little boy who was hyperactive as fuck, he picks up the remote that was sitting at the edge of the recliner's arm-rest to turn on the telly (cause walking over there and pressing a button would be such a hassle) and the news appears on. As that goes on, 2-Joints now proceeds to eat his sandy and cracks open a beer, for god sake.

now go read part 2.