Scarred For Life
Joss is Boss. It's his world, I just play in it.
Mal wandered the spaces of Serenity. It was 3 am or so, about 6 weeks after the Battle of Mr. Universes' Moon. Serenity had been made space worthy, as the Operative had promised. And all seemed normal...well, the new normal.
Mal kept looking for Book and Wash. He'd think he'd see them out of the corner of his eye just rounding a bend walking away, maybe, or hear them in the background underneath the general hubbub of the crew's conversation at meal times. He was up now because he'd heard some sounds coming from the bridge, and had been about to go find out what Wash up to. Then he realized it was must've been River tweaking the flight plan for the autopilot.
Once up, he restlessly roamed the ship. Quiet sobbing sounds used to come from Zoe's bunk. Mal sometimes used to also hear the sound of violently breaking furniture. He wouldn't have thought there was that much breakable stuff down there. Lately, though, most mornings he and Zoe would sit at the table and quietly sip tea before the rest of the crew came in for breakfast. The tea seemed to help with the morning sickness. If it was a boy, would she call him Wash or Hoban?
The usual sounds came from Jayne's bunk. About half the time it was snoring, half the time little metallic clinks as Jayne cleaned his guns. And then sometimes, like now, a guttural, hushed, intense, barely audible, "Yeah lookit them pretty little titties, nips so hard! Yeah, baby, yeah spread them legs, show me that sweet thing you got! Fuck yeah, them lips is just drippin' wet. Whoo wee, damn girlie, you got me going strong! Better slow it down, don' wan' me ta pop too quick!"
Mal hurried away, trying to avoid being scarred for life. After a little bit though, he wondered which porn channel Jayne had been watching on the cortex. Sounded like a good one, maybe he'd check it out, just for a minute or two. Besides, it wasn't like he was saving himself for nobody.
Inara's shuttle was empty, had been ever since the big battle. It still had that one big trunk in it, plus a bunch of other crap now. Odds and ends left over from the repairs, spare parts, extra rations. The Alliance had been generous.
He walked past the softly blue-lit infirmary. The Alliance had gone overboard in there too, re-stocking, re-supplying, and even extra-supplying all manner of new medical machines and gizmos and gadgets. Doc had been real happy until he thought about all the sacrifices that had made it possible. Have to get Kaylee to go through it all careful-like to make sure there weren't no tracking devices or worse gifts the operative might have left.
River's room was quiet, since she was on the bridge right now. She was much better these days. Seemed more focused and coherent, when she wasn't being bratty or downright creepy. But the doc said this was pretty much normal, for her. The bowl of soup in Mal's hair hadn't seemed all that funny at the time, though.
Speaking of the doc, his room was also empty, but Kaylee probably knew where he was. Mal was reluctant to venture into the engine room this time of night, since he stood a good chance of really being scarred for life. Maybe he'd just do a quick check, to make sure it was the doc in there with her and not some sinister bounty hunter.
Inara slept these days in the passenger dorms, in Book's old room. He stood outside her door a while, but all was quiet in there so she must be sleep. Even if she'd been awake there was no point in going in. She was on extended leave from the training house, trying to figure a few things out, he guessed. They'd worked out a truce; all polite and nice. They didn't talk a whole lot, certainly didn't fight like they used to. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, relief, or disappointment, or maybe both.
Eventually he did wander past the engine room, rather quickly. He could hear Kaylee and the doc talking and quietly laughing. Guess they must've finished their other activities for the night. Hope they weren't just taking a break. Those two were pretty much inseparable lately. He was kinda proud of Simon for making Kaylee happy.
Well, finally a stroll by the cargo bay, full of an actual, legal cargo. The Alliance, in the person of the operative, had paid them to ship a load of meds and foodstuffs out to Haven, for a fairly decent amount of platinum. Will wonders never cease?
As he headed back to his bunk he could hear that Jayne was, unbelievably, still at it. Mal tried to scurry by without listening, but couldn't help but overhear.
"Damn, girl, git your ass back over here, ain't done with you yet. Now both a' y'all give my ol' John Thomas a good rubdown with yer boobies... Gawd, that jes' so looks so nasty!"
Mal thought it was a little strange that Jayne was talking to the porn on the cortex. He was watching the cortex, wasn't he? Who else would he be talking to? Who'd be down in his bunk? Who...
"Jayne, how'd you like it if River and I kissed, since we're so close together anyway, hm?" Those smooth, sultry tones could only belong to Inara.
"Yes, boy-with-the-girl's name and the more-than-adequate man parts, you won't let us kiss you on the mouth, so I'll kiss Inara!" That giggle was definitely River's.
Mal stood frozen to the spot for a long second, was about to head over to Jayne's hatch to kick it open and...and...
No, whatever he saw would definitely leave him scarred for life!