Disclaimer: This is not meant to be reflective of the works of J.K. Rowling, or to infringe on the rights held by Warner Brothers. Leda, Poppy, and Alexander are original characters, not part of the Harry Potter series.
That Strawberry Story ( Revised)
"Boy,I could go for something."
"You're hungry?"
"No."
"You just said you were hungry."
"I said no such thing," replied the lump in the bedclothes.
Severus went back to his reading, unwilling to engage in a gastronomic debate with a rumpled comforter at five a.m...
"I could reeeeally go for something."
He lowered the magazine. "But you're not hungry."
"No, that's the conundrum."
The lump was using two dollar words; it obviously meant business. He would have to proceed with caution.
He paused… then went back to his reading.
No, he couldn't resist. "Leda, I know I'm going to regret this.. You do know what 'conundrum' means...
"Yes, and that doesn't appeal to me either," said a small opening that had formed by his elbow.
"Well, I'm gratified to hear it," he said, turning his head.
"You're not reading that at all. You're holding it up, and peeking at me."
"I'm steeling myself for the coming onslaught."
"Well, I'd like to see you be in the mood to go for something, that you've no idea what it is, and have someone being downright inflammatory."
"Inflammatory? I have aspirin."
"What flavor? Oh, you're being obsequious."
"You've been nibbling my thesaurus again."
"There's no need for that kind of language. Now I am hungry."
"Leda, you have a one-track mind."
"Two-track," she said, sliding her arms softly around his waist, and kissing his belly. "Well?" she said, looking up at him expectantly.
"Well what?" he asked, exasperated.
"You're the hunter, go slay me an omelet."
"Can I finish my reading?"
"You've read that magazine so many times, the cover is falling off. What is so fascinating?"
"Leda, it would bore you to death."
"Bored to death, starved to death.. Try me," she said, sitting up beside him.
"I have been trying to stabilize a potion for some time now. When I remove a small quantity to a separate container, it destabilized within minutes."
"So you need to fool it into thinking that it's still en mass..."
"Precisely."
"Is it used on or in the human body?"
"No. Leda, what are you thinking?"
She reached across him to the nightstand, and picked up her necklace, studying it.
"One of your crystals..." he said, trying to read her expression.
"One of my quartz crystals. They aren't just pretty; they actually come in useful because of the way they interact…"
"… with energy," Severus murmured.
He stared at her for a moment, then bopped her lightly on the head with the magazine.
"Get dressed," he said, sliding quickly out of bed.
"It's five a.m.! Where are we going?"
"To the lab," Severus said, dressing hurriedly.
"What's that off in the corner?" Leda mumbled to herself, as she fumbled with her clothing, "Oh, that used to be Snapes pet muggle... he never remembered to feed it. Pity about that."
"Less soliloquizing, more dressing, Leda" Severus called.
"Sir, yes sir!" she barked, hopping into her pants.
In a little while, a somewhat disoriented Leda had found her way up to the main hallway where she was greeted by Alexander, who was looking irritatingly chipper.
"Oh Severus, you didn't drag him out as well, "she grumbled.
"I 'm always up early," the young man smiled.
"An admirable quality," Snape nodded.
"In farm animals..."
"What was that, Leda?"
"Nothing," she piped, as Alexander leaned over, grinning.
"Another excellent morning," Dumbledore chimed, walking over to greet them. He grinned at Ledas look of wide-eyed disbelief. "Another experiment, I take it," he smiled at Severus.
"We're testing one of Ledas theories today. Then, I'm taking her to that little diner she's so fond of. "
"Oh, I see I've managed to garner your attention," he said to her.
Ledas transformation was dramatic and immediate. The promise of a Big Bopper Burger from Joes Diner was enough to send her into near fits of ecstasy.
"Mr. Woolcott, you and Leda can get the equipment ready," Snape said, nodding the way.
"To the Bat Cave!" Leda called to Alexander. "Na, na, na, na,na,na,na,na..." she sang, as they race-walked down the hallway.
Dumbledore looked to Severus.
"I know," Severus breathed, "now there are two of them."
The three worked methodically for hours, measuring, studying, and recording their findings as a unit. They waited expectantly, hoped, despaired, then steeled themselves, and began once again, over and over. After the fourth hour, Leda walked into an adjacent classroom, running her hands through her hair, and leaned back against the wall.
Severus walked in quietly, and leaned back beside her.
"I had to open my big mouth..." she whispered.
"Leda, this is how it works."
"But it doesn't work. It was a stupid..."
"Sir..." Alexander called from the lab.
Severus heard something in his voice, and hurried into the lab. He and Alexander studied a large beaker of swirling iridescent green liquid.
"How long has it been this way?"
"Close to half an hour, sir."
Leda had crept quietly back into the room, and was standing a few paces behind them, afraid to look. Snape spotted her, and pulled her over, holding her by her shoulders.
"Look, Leda."
"I don't know what I'm looking at."
"You're looking at success. Leda, after months of trying, you are looking at success."
"This is how it works?" she asked, looking up at him. "This is what you do?"
He smiled at her.
"IT'S BRILLIANT!" she shouted.
After a few sips of neglected tea, and a few grins from both Severus and Alexander, Leda was quite herself.
As they were cleaning up, Severus remembered something. "Mr. Woolcott, if you could stay a bit longer..."
"Oh, I don't think you want to keep Alexander; he may have other plans," Leda grinned.
"He has other plans?" Severus asked.
"Oh, you heard about it too?"
Merlin's boxers, here we go. "Focus Leda."
"With a young lady of the female persuasion," she said, eyeing Alexander.
"Of the female persuasion?"
"Yes."
"As opposed to what?"
"The opposite kind."
Severus looked to Alexander who indicated that he had not one clue.
"Leda, I would go down this road, but I'm lacking a map."
"I had a map once," Leda said thoughtfully,"but I could never get used to..." She waved her hands.
"Reading the scale?" asked Severus.
Leda shook her head, and continued to wave.
"Following the routes?" asked Alexander.
"No, no, no," she grumbled.
"Reading the legend?" asked Snape, at wits end...
Leda slapped the lab table, and looked to the ceiling in exasperation. "No!"
"FOLDING IT!" shouted Alexander.
Leda pointed at him, and made a joyful hop.
"What do I win?" Alexander asked.
"Your freedom," replied Severus, "save yourself while you can."
After Alexander left, Severus turned to Leda, who was making a sly, triumphant grin.
"Leda, was I really in need of blonding?"
"Alexander was in need, she smiled, sliding her arms around his waist, and hugging him.
He gathered her to him, and laid his head atop hers. "Then why didn't you spout rubbish at him?"
"I had to disarm you ,in order to free him…there's a world outside this lab, you know, and Alexander isn't a puppy anymore."
"Isn't a puppy?" he grimaced.
"Don't make me blonde you again," Leda smiled, giving him a squeeze.
They stood just holding each other for a bit.
"Thank you, Leda."
She looked up at him, and grinned. "For what?"
He searched her face, trying to find the words. "Things…a good idea…"
She rubbed his arms, and smiled softly to him "You are welcome…wait, wait a minute. I know that look."
"What look?" he said , almost innocently.
"You bugger," she grinned, jabbing a finger at him, "Mr. Touchy- Feely. You're trying to get out of going to the diner."
"Oh, would I do that?" he said, turning his head away.
"I can see the back of your head grinning. We're not staying in this lab all day!" Leda laughed.
He looked thoughtful. "We could order take away."
"My stomach is growling like a drunken jarvis!" she laughed, swiping at him.
"And how would you know about that?" he grinned, shielding himself.
"Fine," Leda said, grabbing something from the lab table, "I shall menace you. Feel menaced."
"Tweezers? Really?"
"Come on, put some effort into it, " she said, jabbing the air in front of him. "I'm a desperate woman…you've no idea."
He disarmed her, and gave her a hug.
"You're an insane woman, and I've every idea. Let's go."
He pushed her out the door.
"I could have taken you," she growled.
"One foot in front of the other, Leda."
They took the scenic route, gliding smoothly along the shallows of the lake. The waters swirled softly in their wake, sending up thousands of shimmering diamonds as the sun danced across its surface. Leda loosened her hold on his waist, still amazed that she had ever learned to ride along on a broom. As the scent of the forest wafted up to meet them, they inhaled deeply, filling themselves with its fresh, green enchantment.
Severus glanced back at her, and grinned.
"Severus, don't you dare!"
He slowly began to descend, threatening to skim the surface. Only when she hugged him closer, pushing her warm thighs against his, did he relent.
They alighted in a small, tidy parking lot. The broom racks that sat beside the vintage muggle cars on display were nearly always full. As they entered, they were greeted by the owner, a wizard whose generous smile was exceeded only by the height of his pompadour.
"Professor! Dragged you in again, has she?" he laughed.
No one had to drag Severus or any other wizard to Joes; the food had become legend, even more so after Leda had gotten into the habit of sneaking the diner's home-made pies into Hogwarts. Dumbledore was, she discovered, particularly omniscient, when it came to the toasted coconut cream.
At the end of an excellent meal, Severus stretched contentedly against the back of the cushioned booth, and studied Leda as she fed the jukebox at the end of their table. As the music flowed around them, she leaned in, caressing his hand, while regarding him with a sly smile.
"Keep me under your spell. Do do that voodoo that you do so well," she sang softly.
In a moment, her lips were inches from his.
"'Cause you..."
A kiss.
"Do..."
Another.
"Something to me, that nobody else can do."
Severus knew the smoky look of delight that filled her eyes. He fought to suppress a grin of acknowledgement, as they left the diner and she led him across the street to the confectioners, her hips swinging secret promise. Once inside, she stood before the lighted display case, barely able to conceal a shudder of delight, as she gazed lovingly at rows of voluptuous cordial strawberries wrapped in thick robes of silky chocolate, each one nestled against a red paper lace doily.
She accepted one from the clerk, and pushed her thumb against it, cracking its creamy chocolate shell.
"Leda..."
She smeared the sweet juice over his lower lip, and devoured his mouth, then lightly sucked her thumb.
"Figured out what I'm hungry for."
Severus regarded her for a moment. "Five more," he hurriedly called to the clerk.
"Me too," said a nearby middle-aged wizard eyeing his wife.
It is amazing how quickly a man can fly a broom back to his place when offered the proper incentive.
Severus had of course, heard of this confection, but leisurely consuming it in an extended bout of mutual body painting was an added usage he had not considered.
He fell back grinning, and exhaled, covering his eyes with his arm.
We have got to get out more often.
He looked to Leda as she stretched contentedly beside him, the flush of pleasure still coloring her lips and cheeks. He eased over, and traced a kiss across her shoulder. She shuddered and sighed, still sensitive to his touch, as he propped himself across her on his elbows, gazing down at her.
"Two excellent ideas in one day. Leda, I'm impressed," he smiled at her. "May I ask what inspired this latest one?"
"You like me from the neck up."
He gently brushed the hair from her face, his smile softening. "Leda, I have always liked you from the neck up."
She gazed at him softly. "You valued my idea, and you wanted me to share in something that was important to you."
He raised his brows in amazement. "That was…"
She held her finger to his lips.
"That IS everything to me. Thank you," she smiled, giving him the softest of kisses.
"Oh," he said, on finding he had to peel himself from against her. "We seem to be sticking together."
"What a conundrum."
"Leda, don't you dare."
All good things must come to an end. Severus and Leda had just settled in for a bit of a nap, when there was a knock at the outer door.
"Oh well, why not?" he growled, kissing her, and charming his clothes on. As he half-closed the bedroom door behind him, Leda began to quickly redress.
"Severus..." Leda called from the bathroom, a few minutes later.
"In a moment, Leda," Snape said, turning back to Dumbledore.
"Oh,noooo ..."
Severus recognized Leda's distress call, and went to investigate. He came to a sudden halt at the bathroom door, bracing himself against the doorjambs with both hands.
"You're stuck, aren't you?"
Dumbledore suddenly appeared over his shoulder.
"Hello, Sir," Leda smiled weakly at him.
Severus disappeared, and began to rummage through the drawers of a nearby bureau.
"Are you getting your wand?" she called hopefully.
"No, my camera," he said returning with it.
"Leda, if I'm not being too personal," Dumbledore asked, leaning back against the doorpost "how on earth did you manage to get your foot stuck in the toilet?"
"Well, that's a funny story, you see... Severus, don't you dare!" she glowered, as he took aim.
"I've always been resistant to doing a Christmas newsletter..." he said, taking a shot.
"Severus, I'm putting my foot down," Leda huffed.
"Again?" asked Dumbledore.
"I don't know which of you two is worse."
"Come on Severus, you've tortured her long enough," Dumbledore laughed.
Severus handed Albus the camera, and stood behind Leda, pointing the wand. "Now what was that spell for dislodging ones foot from the toilet?" He and Leda peeked at each other for several seconds before he slid his arm around her waist, and laid his lead atop hers. "Leda, you were doing so well..."
"I know. The water is getting a bit chilly."
"I wouldn't know, I'm not given to swimming in..."
"Severus..." Dumbledore cautioned.
In a moment, a red-faced Leda as successfully extricated. Severus sat her down, and inspected her foot.
"Thank you very much," she said, kissing his cheek. She dried her foot, and turned her attention to the headmaster. "Let's have it," she said, extending her hand.
"Have what?" he asked innocently.
"Come on, enough fun," she said, advancing on him.
"I don't have it on me. You can search me, if you like," Dumbledore said, holding up his hands.
"She's very good at that," said Severus.
"So I've heard," grinned Dumbledore.
"You're two of a kind, you are," Leda breathed, brushing between them, and sitting down on the bed.
Albus sat down near her, feigning remorse as he shot a look at Severus.
Leda busied herself replacing her socks and shoes, while eyeing him.
"Severus, why is she looking at me like that?"
"Oh, she's trying to give you her 'fierce' look. She's not very good at it."
"Well, at least she made the effort. Are you in need of fiber?" Albus asked.
Leda concentrated, and affected her best glare.
"If the wind changes, it will stay that way," Albus cautioned.
"Albus..." Snape scolded.
The headmaster relented. "Now would you mind telling us how you managed this little misadventure?"
"You know how thousand –leggers skitter across the floor, and you go to squish them?" she said.
"Oh Leda, not in your bare feet?" Albus winced.
"I forgot." She peeked sheepishly at Severus, "You wouldn't really make a newsletter would you?"
"No, of course not," he said soothingly.
Albus patted her hand.
"Not with the sort of money the Prophet would pay."
Albus chuckled.
"You're supposed to be nice to me," Leda protested, looking to him.
Albus raised his brows, and slid a bit closer. "And just what did you have in mind?" he grinned.
Leda's eyes widened as she gazed into his twinkling blue eyes.
Wow, they are really blue...
She felt her face warm.
Oh god…
She started. "Oh, you are such a man!"
She sprang from the bed, and neatened herself in a nearby mirror.
"Going somewhere are we?" asked Albus.
"I want to look nice for when I jump off the turret …MEN!" she growled, as she huffed out the door.
"Severus, I think I'm off her Christmas card list."
"That's all right, I'll send you a copy of the newsletter," Snape grinned.
Later that afternoon, Leda sulked out into the courtyard, and sat staring into space. Alexander walked over, and sat down quietly beside her. She slipped her arm around him, and gave him a little sideways hug. "Men! Don't you ever grow up to be one ," she cautioned. They were observed by Albus and Severus, who were both still slightly pleased by their own cleverness.
"They're a bit chummy," said Albus, raising his brows.
"No chummier than she was with you," said Severus.
"Your woman is mad for me," Albus grinned, "can't keep her eyes to herself. Did you see the way she kept sidling up to me and smiling?"
"You didn't tell her where the camera was, did you?"
"And ruin a perfectly good love affair?" Albus smiled, "I didn't have it anyway. I gave it to Alexander to take to Minerva."
"Leda tried the same routine on me. How long have they been out there?" said Severus, frowning slightly.
"Afraid of a little competition?"
"Talking quiddich again, I see," said Minerva, walking over to them. She waved, and called to Poppy. "You're all set then?"
"Get the film developed, and straight back, " Poppy called over her shoulder.
The two men looked to each other while repressing grins.
Minerva eyed them both. "I don't think I want to know," she said, heading back to her office.
"I don't fancy your chances when those photos come back," Albus grinned.
"If she keeps chattering away, it won't be today," Severus said.
Poppy noticed him looking, and hurried off. As Albus turned back to Snape , he suddenly sniffed. "There's that strawberry smell again."
Severus shifted uncomfortably. Albus smiled, and nodded to Leda as she came in. "She's been sneaking pies in again," he whispered.
Severus exhaled, and made himself scarce.
A scant hour later, a very flustered Poppy hurried up to McGonagall at the the foot of the staircase. Leda heard snatches of their animated conversation.
"A fox?"
"It's true!"
"…right out of your hand?"
"Oh, off you go then…" McGonagall exhaled, and waved at Poppy, exasperated.
"A fox grabbing photos from a child's hand…I'm daft, but I'm not THAT daft," McGonagall gaped at Leda, as Poppy ambled away.
"Miss Longwood?"
"Alexander's wanting you. I'll leave you to it," Minerva said, hurrying away.
Leda turned to Alexander…and suddenly they both smiled.
By that evening , things had gotten back to some semblance of normalcy…
Poppy was pleased that the photos had reappeared on McGonagall's desk.
Leda was pleased that Albus had fallen for the old 'Whoopee -Cushion –On- The- Chair' bit, which led to Albus being pleased with her strawberry pie peace offering.
Everybody was very nearly friends again.
At bedtime, Severus leaned back against the headboard, composing a potions article for The Alchemists Monthly.
"You're uncommonly quiet, Leda," he said cautiously.
"I'm reading an article on spontaneous cognitive deficiency in males of close proximity." she replied, not looking at him.
Severus lowered his papers, and stared at her.
She regarded him thoughtfully... then attacked. "Why men turn into FLAMING IDIOTS…when they… GET TOGETHER!" she grinned, while smacking him lightly with the magazine.
As Severus busied himself pinning a laughing Leda, while retrieving the last of the strawberries; Alexander gazed out of his window in the Ravenclaw wing, at the house of a young lady of the female persuasion, as he smiled, and brushed at a few fox hairs on his trouser cuff.