The Road Trip
Disclaimer: Sadly I own neither Saving Hope nor Daniel Gillies.
Pairing: Joel & Alex (or if you prefer Alex & Joel)
Rating: T
Summary: Set after St. Jude. Joel plans a surprise for Alex.
Joel Goran waited impatiently for his wife to return home from the hospital. It was Friday and she had the rest of the weekend off. Luke was with Zack and Jacob, cast and all. And Maggie and Sydney had volunteered to take Charlotte for the weekend.
He and Alex needed a weekend away.
She hasn't slept through the night since she lost the baby.
She's exhausted.
She's been working so hard lately.
The shadows under her beautiful blue eyes are getting darker.
But he had a surprise for her.
All it had taken was an internet search and a few clicks on his laptop. He found the B&B where they'd stayed a few years back.
The one where you make your own jam.
And he planned on making this weekend just as unforgettable as the last one had been.
He was upstairs double-checking to make sure that he hadn't forgotten anything when he heard Alex's car pull into the driveway.
Joel threw his bag over his shoulder, and started downstairs. By the time he heard her key turn in the lock, he was already waiting on the other side of the door.
She didn't say anything as she entered the house, just walked straight into his arms and sighed in contentment as they automatically wrapped around her.
"Hey," he whispered into her hair, "Tough shift?"
She nodded against his shoulder, "I didn't think it was possible to be this tired."
He chuckled, letting her lean into his body, supporting her weight. "Well, do you feel up to going upstairs and packing a bag? Because I've got a surprise for you."
"Joel baby, we can't leave. I have to go pick up Luke from school and Charlotte will be up from her nap soon…"
He cut off the flow of her words with a kiss. "Alex, the kids are fine, I promise. It's just you and me this weekend."
She pulled away just a little bit so that she could smile at him, "Seriously?"
He nodded and gave her that Joel Goran grin that always took her breath away.
She smiled as well, and shouted, "I love you," even as she made her way up the stairs.
"Love you too, Reid," he replied, appreciating the view as she walked in the opposite direction.
In less than fifteen minutes, Alex was back downstairs with a carry-on bag over her shoulder.
"Joel, are you going to tell me where we're going?"
Her husband shook his head, "No. You do know the meaning of the word surprise, don't you?" He asked smiling at her.
"Yes. But how do I know that I packed everything I'll need if I don't know where we're going?"
He kissed her on the mouth, pulling her toward the front door, "You'll just have to trust me, Reid."
"I do," She whispered, "I'll always trust you."
He gave her yet another kiss on the forehead, "C'mon, we should get on the road before it gets dark."
Alex nodded, "Whatever you say, Dr. Goran." She said, lifting her bag, and waiting for him to follow her out the front door.
"Thank you, Dr. Reid," Joel answered, closing and locking the front door behind him.
Alex exhaled as she collapsed into the passenger seat, grabbing Joel's hand as he got into the driver's seat.
"I love you. Thank you for this weekend." She whispered, softly as her head fell back against the seat.
In response, Joel smiled, and took Alex's hand and raised it to his lips and kissed it. "I love you too, Alex. And you're welcome."
Joel started the car and within ten minutes Alex was fast asleep.
He glanced over at her periodically as he drove but she didn't stir.
I knew she was exhausted.
He turned the car stereo on at the lowest volume so it wouldn't wake her.
I'm going to make those shadows under her eyes disappear.
I don't care if she sleeps the whole weekend.
Granted, he was hoping that they'd have a chance to make love at least once over the course of the weekend.
I miss her.
We haven't made love since we lost the baby.
Daniel.
He blinked away the tears in his eyes, and kept driving.
Joel had filled up the car's tank earlier that day. Ever since Alex had been shot he'd been weary of convenient stores in small towns. And if they did have to stop for gas on road trips, he never let her go in alone.
As he stopped the car in front of the familiar bed & breakfast overlooking the water, Alex whimpered in her sleep, obviously caught in the beginning of a nightmare.
"Alex, we're here. Wake up." He whispered, placing a hand gently on her arm.
The moment she felt his touch against her skin, she blinked into consciousness.
"Joel, where are we?" She asked, her voice still full of sleep, and her motions clumsy as she unbuckled her seatbelt.
"See for yourself." He said, grabbing their bags from the back of the car, and opening the passenger door for her.
Alex got out of the car, slowly, grasping her husband's free hand and taking in her surroundings for a moment before recognition dawned.
"Oh my God…Joel is this…It's exactly how I remember it."
"Surprise." Joel whispered, kissing her softly, "Let's go get checked in."
She nodded and followed him inside, never letting go of his hand.
Once they opened the door to their room and put the bags down, Joel glanced at Alex, "Want the first shower, Reid?"
She shook her head, "I'm going to unpack."
"Okay." Joel said, grabbing his bag and heading for the en suite bathroom. "I won't be long," He whispered, kissing her forehead, "Then we can talk about what kind of jam we're going to make tomorrow."
She smiled and sat down on the bed, without letting go of his hand, "Hurry back."
"You got it." He replied, just before he disappeared into the bathroom.
Alex tried to stay awake but the sound of the water running lulled her back to sleep.
Even though she tried to fight it she felt herself being pulled into what had become an all too familiar nightmare.
She felt the familiar pains of labor and gritted her teeth to keep from screaming.
She felt her body overheating with the exertion, and felt sweat covering her forehead.
She saw Joel beaming with pride as he cut the baby's umbilical cord.
"He's beautiful, Alex. And so are you." He whispered, kissing her sweat soaked forehead.
She heard her son's newborn cries and felt the weight of him in her arms.
But try as she might she couldn't see her son's face. Her vision was blurred.
And just as her vision begins to clear, her baby is ripped from her arms and she's left feeling empty and screaming in protest.
"No! Joel, please, don't let them take our baby! Joel!"
Joel had just stepped out of the shower when he heard Alex scream.
He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist and ran into the adjoining room.
Alex was lying on the bed; her suitcase still packed and zipped beside the bed, lost inside the nightmare that tormented her.
"Joel…Joel…Joel…" His name burst from her lips, almost a desperate cry for help.
"Alex, I'm here…I'm right here." He whispered, wrapping his arms around her hoping the contact would rouse her.
"Alex…Alex…Alex!" The third time he said her name she blinked, exhaled, and sat up pulling him close against her body.
They lay in silence for a long time. Joel's arms wrapped tightly around her. "Do you want to talk about it? It might help." He whispered, kissing her temple.
"It's always the same. I'm in labor with Daniel. We hear him cry for the first time. You cut his cord. They put him in my arms. But before I see him, they take him away and I wake up sweating, screaming, and calling for you."
"You don't have to be a shrink to know what that's about." Joel replied, brushing her hair from her face.
"I know. I just wish I could make it stop." She said, resting her head on his chest.
"Alex, you're grieving. You have to let it run it's course."
"So are you," She whispered, kissing him tenderly on his neck.
"I know. But it's different for me. You carried him inside you, Alex."
"I'm so sorry, Joel. I know I've been distant lately and working too hard. But I miss you…"
He stopped the flow of her words with a kiss. "You don't have to apologize. And for the record, I miss you too. That was part of what this weekend was supposed to be about. I wanted you to get some rest. And I wanted us to…"
"Have a dirty weekend." Alex said, smiling.
"Precisely." Joel answered, giving her that familiar Joel Goran grin.
"How badly do you want to make that jam?" She asked, moving even closer to him so she could feel his warm breath on her face.
"Not as badly as I want to make love to my wife." He answered, pressing his lips against her neck.
"Good answer, Dr. Goran."
"Thank you, Dr. Reid."
They made love until they both fell asleep.
And it was the first night since they'd lost their baby that Alex slept through the night.