The Celebration of the Rock
By: Michael Finnie and Legolas
All right reserved.
God-Da da da da! This is a true story!
Narrator-52,000,000 BC.
The day god created earth; he created squirrels, cats, dogs, and the Finnie family. One of the cats was legolas. Legolas discovered the first musical instruments- the lute, the Indian drums, organ and speaker. God said the finnies and their pets could live forever.
Narrator-120,000 years later- God came upon Michael Finnie and legolas and said unto them, god- build me an ark of 52 lutes, 23 organs, and 36 drums. The ark must be 300 cubits long and 150 cubits tall. You must also sacrifice a red, white, and blue skinned chicken. Doing this shall make everyone free to choose their own religion, and love all music! Ha ha ha!
Michael-When the ark was finished, god appeared in a heavy metal suit. He gave us gifts. He gave me a rock drum set which he said was from the way future as well as stu the squirrels Mohawk hair and electric guitar, Jons keyboard, and midnights microphone, and finally, legolas's bass guitar.
God-Play, play, my friends, a rock concert, play to the heathen gods! And, we shall all get ice cream! Yes, yes!
Michael- what's ice cream?
God- a fucking awesome delicious treat from the future!
Michael- cool!
25 minutes later-
God- let's fucking rock! Peace! Heavy metal! Ice cream! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Here, some amplifiers from the future to help you rock!
Amplifiers turn on. Stu stomps several times. Michael plays on the bass. Do do do d.
Midnight- fuck yeah! Everybody loves a cat. Yeah! We rock; we rock, till the end of day. We rock; we rock, till the end of day, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Sing it with me!
The crowd copies mid.. Stu goes nier nier nier da da da da, bom bom boom boom da da da on the guitar. Michael does a drum solo.
Midnight- having sex with me is like meowing because I'm a cat. Turn off the fucking TV, yeah!
God- everybody dance now!
Mid- turn it off; turn it off, turn the fucking TV off if you have sex with me and look at me!
Stu does a solo. Followed by a bass and a drum solo. God comes back on the stage and jumps. The crowd carries him.
God- carry me back!
Mid- rock on! Rock on!
Stu- squirrels are the kings of punk rock, hell yeah!
Michael- rock on! Rock on!
Confetti enters and music stops. The crowd cheers and exits
God- hey, you guys, you were so fuckin' awesome!
Michael- you think so? Amazed
God- heck yeah! This is a record producer- Mr. shit-ass.
Michael- hello Mr. shit-ass.
Mr. shit-ass – hi! Uh, Mr. Midnight, what are your dreams?
Mid- to have sex, and be the best singer in the rock world!
Mr. shit-ass – well that can happen!
God- well we better get the after-party started, because the encore flood is on September 22 midday!
Narrator-The next day, September 22, the band and god loaded all the people aboard the ark of rock.
God- hell yeah! The flood is imminent, board the ark for the encore. Do not fear, sub-creatures, the flood is part of the ride; it will not harm you unless you do not board the ark.
The people enter the ark, cheerfully.
God- let's rock!
The flood starts
God- a band from the future, Black Sabbath, one of their songs War Pigs, will be played by our magnificent band!
Stu- starts the beginning.
Michael goes with the base, da da, cymbal- ty-ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty ty-ty ty ty. Bla bla bla, you know the music and lyrics.