Summary: Happiness is impossible especially when depression is his comfort zone. How does Katsuya manage in Seto's melancholy joyride? SJ Angst/Character Death
Author's Note: I actually had finished this story about a week ago. But for some reason- I didn't save it, and it was lost forever. You know the feeling when you get when you think your first attempt might be crappy at the moment, but you realize out of intuition it was the best one yet? Yeah- I pray that this instance won't be it, especially because it'll be my second attempt on the exact same plot as before. Well, enough on me ranting about my stupidity, I hope you enjoy this …quite depressing story. I just hope it was depressing enough (I'm not kidding).
House of Fun
Labeling Kaiba Seto as "depressed" didn't quite fit.
He was most likely under the category of god-like, or God himself.
Day by day, noticing the small imperfections Seto had often placed Jounouchi Katsuya in rather discomfort than satisfaction. Sure, previously he would've pointed and laughed like the immature boy he was often role-played as, but now, being Kaiba Seto's lover didn't put him under the same mask he wore all through his life. Katsuya was now who he truly was: the thoughtful, careful man.
So with great number of thinking did Katsuya finally accept the fact that Kaiba Seto wad depressed. He was suffering with not just a "mild" case, but he was suffering- that's it. Katsuya would notice when the brunet would wake up in the middle of the night, three in the morning, disappearing into the darkness and returning hopelessly drunk in the matter of minutes. He could smell it; the stench of liquor, not just from his once so sweet breath, but from the vomit across the hall. Then casually the body would sink beside Katsuya as the blond "slept" soundlessly, holding his waist and pulling him closer as if-
As if he never could have all of him.
It hurt the blond.
It hurt him to see Seto so weary and fragile, as if he would break within minutes.
But not once did Seto tell Katsuya what was going on in that jaded mind of his, and not once did Katsuya tell Seto he knew everything from the start.
That Katsuya has seen it all.
The growing self inflicted scars all over Seto's body, even through the darkness of their growing shallow sex. The cigarette burns, the knife ran slits, the bruises of paper weights, the blood in his nails, the disappearing flesh- all were revealed and swallowed.
Instead Katsuya places another mask over himself, and the mask is labeled, "defiance."
He just couldn't accept Seto lower than anything as of his God.
It was one night Katsuya opened Seto's door to allow himself the company, a refuge perhaps, for the overworked being. As the blond walked in, he realized that Seto was weeping, like a boy, in fanatical dreary.
The blond held Seto like he would to do to a child, and quickly hushed him to swallow his own tears from falling. He allowed the thin body to fall into his embrace, all while pouring out every ounce of his sorrowful tears.
It was then Katsuya threw his denying mask off the floor.
"What's wrong, Seto?" He started to beg. "Please tell me what's wrong."
The voice only cried in gasps.
"Seto, please," Katsuya pleaded, kissing his forehead. "Please, tell me how I can help you."
"There is nothing you can do for me," The voice was suddenly firm, bold even at the suggestion of his lover. "There is nothing anyone can do."
"There must be something- something I can do to save you-"
"Do I look dead to you? Tell me Katsuya, do I look dead?"
There was a painful ring to his tone, so foreign- so excruciating.
"Yes! You walking corpse! You God of death! You are nothing but rotten death! I saw it all- I won't deny it. I saw what you've been doing to yourself all this time! I see what you do, you sick bastard!"
As the blond screamed, he no longer was himself. All his masks, his distinctiveness were all wrecked in the matter of seconds.
"Why the hell are you still here? Why do you want to see more?"
In a fast movement the blond pushed aside to escape the room. Seto didn't bother to follow him, already so despaired and weary to run after a running man.
Not a minute later, Seto heard a powerful scream, expressing pain in supremacy.
In panic Seto ran to find Katsuya, the noises ceasing to stop.
Once he found the blond trampled on the floor, he saw the blood, the knife all over the kitchen floor. Seto rushed towards Katsuya and threw the knife from his hands. He held his face and realized the source of all the blood.
Katsuya's left eye was gushing violently in putrid lumps of flesh and liquid.
The last thing Seto heard from Katsuya was,
"I don't have to see anymore. But I'll still save you."
The lights were bright as his eye opened to the piercing headache embracing him soon after. All were hazy as his eye lost focus, on and off, on and off.
"Mr. Jounouchi," A voice called out beside him. "Can you see me?"
Slowly the blond turned his head towards the left and recognized the contour of a man, but a stranger nonetheless.
"Good, your right arm is unharmed, but unfortunately," the man paused. "I'm afraid your left sight is lost."
The blond kept quiet.
"We'll be treating you and most definitely you'll be staying with us until your new psychiatrist grants you the privileges, but under the most strict orders from Mr. Kaiba, we are told to have you longer than necessary. I was also instructed to tell you," The doctor inhaled a sharp breath.
"To tell you Mr. Kaiba is deceased."
Katsuya reacted very quickly.
Nurses, doctors, psychiatrists all ran in to hold him down, to stop his bleeding, to stop his screaming- but they did nothing to bring Seto back from the dead.
A year later,
Jounouchi Katsuya was found dead.
He hung himself at three in the morning on the tree beside Seto's headstone.
Author's Note: I should've put a "drabble" label on my summary, right? What a mess this story is- truly a mess. Nonetheless I'm so curious on what reader's think of this story, I'm dying to see what the reactions were.
By the way- I'm planning on changing my pen name (because I hate it). Has anyone done that before? Do all my stories get replaced with my new name? Help me and I'll dedicate a story for you, with a plot of your choice! (Do I sound like some salesman?)
Well, my thought is- since I have a God of Love story up (Jou as Cupid), I'm thinking I should have a God of Death story up just for Seto! Haha, well let me know your thoughts/comments/questions/ etc. Thank you.