Take Me or Leave Me
Rei felt his hair stand at the ends, bristling with anger. His face was bright red as he clenched his fists. His pride was the only thing holding him back in the moment. Holding his chest out in pride, Rei lifted his head. He sniffed back the tears that began to touch his eyelids, daring for an escape.
He couldn't do this. Not today. It was their anniversary for fucks sake. Their anniversary.
And Nagisa was shamelessly flirting with the waiter right in front of him. He watched in pure horror as Nagisa's hand lightly tapped the waiter's shoulder. The blond leaned in, listening to something that the waiter said, laughing in response even though it wasn't funny. Nagisa twirled a finger through his hair. He spoke and winked at his own joke.
Shameless, Rei thought. Completely and utterly disgusted with the scene before him, he quietly finished his meal. Nagisa asked for dessert, and Rei had waved his hand. Looking out the window, he silently allowed his boyfriend to pick out the sweet dessert of his choice. And with all of his might he tried to ignore the bubbly laughter that filled the air between the waiter and his partner.
It was hard to ignore.
It was hardly the first time.
Rei was left to his own thoughts. Brought back to every occasion which Nagisa had flirted in front of him to other people. Boys, girls, it never mattered.
It wasn't like Rei didn't understand that Nagisa was friendly. He knew that the shorter boy was overly touchy. But with most people Nagisa kept it to a minimum. Only light contact and laughter.
The first time Rei caught on to the flirting made him blush along with it. But then Rei caught on to the lingering hand on the other person, the lower voice, the way Nagisa leaned in before winking.
The first time was with a girl. It made Rei question his aesthetical appearance as a male partner. But when the female was removed from the situation, Nagisa's attention was all on Rei. He was clinging onto his hand and kissing his cheek. It annoyed Rei at first.
Then the second and third time happened. With the same actions. One was with a stranger at the bookstore, and another was at a play. He brought up the situation both times. Nagisa denied the second time, but admitted to finding the third person attractive.
"I don't mean it," Nagisa blushed. He punched Rei's arm and it had little force behind it. Rei acted as if it did.
It was better than admitting that his heart hurt more.
The fourth time Nagisa had flirted in front of him was with a girl. They bumped into each other at the train station, and Nagisa had bowed furiously. The girl was pretty, Rei could admit that much. But then Nagisa started his usual flirty actions. He helped gather her things, then made jokes and winked. His arm lingered as he held her up. Then he leaned in, almost as if to give her a kiss. He whispered something that made her giggle. She playfully pushed him away and he was left behind laughing.
Rei never found out what he said. All he knows is that he didn't let go of Nagisa's hand the rest of the night. He was overly clingy. He felt his stomach knot and his chest flutter with an unfamiliar feeling. He anxiously rubbed his collarbone, trying to rid himself of the feeling, as he asked to stay the night.
They made love that night, fiercely. Rei barely had time to remove his boyfriend's clothing. He felt as though he had a limited amount of time with the boy. He wanted to forever remember the way his nails dug into his back. The noises Nagisa made, and the way his chest heaved. It was all so beautiful and all Rei's doing. He felt loved.
But now he felt the same tightening in his chest that he had before. The ugly feeling of jealously raising in his belly. He watched the way Nagisa leaned onto his elbows, to make casual conversation. The blush on his partner's cheeks rising, not sure if it was the wine or the waiter making it so. But Nagisa blushed, and his eyes were bright and focused on the actions of the other boy, nameless in Rei's mind. But Nagisa kept using his name, and then would laugh and try to move his hair out of his face. That action, Rei had thought, was just reserved for him. Oh, how he was wrong.
Rei never wished for a dinner to be over so early before now.
Nagisa held contact with the waiter's hands as he was handed the check. His lips puckered out, making his already plump lips look desirable.
Feeling warm with rage, Rei paid. He rushed Nagisa out of the restaurant, but didn't fail to catch the wave at the other boy. The waiter shyly waved back. And that's when Rei lost it. He didn't care that he was in public. He felt humiliated.
"I can't believe you would be so shameless," He yelled. He knew how ugly he must look under the bad street lighting. But he continued, "You're shamless! Flirting with strangers all the time. It's disgusting. Filthy," The last of his words stretched out in an airy breath.
Panting, Rei sighed. "I'm sorry," Rei rubbed his forehead.
Seeing guests too frightened to enter the restaurant, he moved to the side. His arm stretched out and Nagisa followed. They walked to Nagisa's home in silence.
"I'm sorry," Nagisa stared at his feet.
Rei felt his blood boil, and he didn't know why. "Why?" He snapped, "For being a slut?"
Nagisa, appalled, backed away. Tears brewing at the corners of his eyes, he turned away. The slam of the front door echoing through Rei's ears.
And Rei being left alone with the ugly, tightening feeling in his chest.
Had this in my head for 2 months. A chapter or 2 left.