My way of dealing with the events of 'A Material World' and the aftermaths of Alicia's decision.
Thanks go once more to Kiki for being my sounding board and encouraging me to go on writing for our couple 3
I don't own them. If I did there wouldn't be any need for this story ;)
"Not another one." Alicia couldn't help the thought shoot through her mind when she entered her office and saw the enormous bouquet of flowers on her desk. She sighed while she hung her coat, reaching for the vase to place it out of the way. She didn't even bother to read the card that was tucked in between the flowers. She already knew who had sent them - Peter.
It was the second bouquet within a week. Not to mention the case of her favorite red wine that had been delivered just yesterday. All came attached with a note saying the same thing in general. How sorry he was for the fight, his harsh words and that he hoped she would reconsider or at least give him a chance to talk once more. She was sure to find the same contents in the newest one, so she saw no need to read it now.
She sat down behind her desk and went through her notes on a file for a client that she had a meeting with in less than an hour. She had no time to dwell on thoughts about Peter and their marriage. She had forced herself not to think about the decision she had kind of pressured on Peter since they had seen each other the last time at his office. She still remembered how confused she had felt when she left him that day; irritated about his behavior. He had just pretended, as she now knew, to comply with her demands for a 'fake marriage'. She had felt ambivalent about his demeanor. A part of her was glad he didn't keep on arguing, trying to make her change her mind. But she also felt something else, something she couldn't quite define.
"Not now." she said to herself, shaking her head to ban the thoughts from her mind and tried to concentrate on the file in front of her. It worked for a while but she caught herself from time to time just staring at the flowers. She was glad when her client arrived and told her secretary later on before she left for court to put the vase in the conference room where she wouldn't be forced to see it all the time.
A few days passed without new gifts or flowers from Peter and she hoped he had given up because she hadn't reacted to any of it. She had briefly thought of texting him a 'Thank you' after the last bouquet but decided against it as it might have opened up a way for a dialogue she couldn't have with him. She had made her decision and she would stick with it. How she had no idea and she tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in her stomach when she thought about Peter. She was aware that sooner or later her kids would get to know the new arrangement in their parent's marriage. Zach's comparison to The Clintons had hinted that he suspected something already but she had decided to deal with that when faced with it and wouldn't bring up the topic herself.
She had just gotten back to the office from a long day in court and was going over some case files when her cell rang. She checked the caller and saw her own home number on the display.
"Hi!" she answered as only one of her kids could be on the line.
"Hi Mom!" Grace greeted her.
"Hi Sweetie. What's the matter?"
"Nothing special. We were just wondering when you get home. We made dinner."
"You made dinner?" she asked in a skeptical voice.
"Yes, Zach and I made dinner." Grace answered.
"Ok, who are you and what have you done to my kids?" she laughed, still not believing that her kids actually knew how to use the stove.
"I'm not joking, Mom. We really made dinner and the house is still in one piece. We had a little help. So when will you be home?"
"Help? Is your uncle Owen there?" she hoped it would be her brother and not her mother. She couldn't handle her after a day like today.
"No, not uncle Owen." Grace answered hesitantly.
"Who then?" she sighed, mentally preparing to spend the evening with her mother.
"Dad is here." Grace finally said.
"Your Dad?" she tried to leave the outrage from her voice.
"Can you put him on the phone, please." she sighed soundless, getting up from behind her desk.
"Sure. Everything alright, Mom?" Grace sounded worried.
"Yes, Grace. Just get him on the phone." she started walking around her office, trying to calm down while Grace walked away to get Peter. She couldn't believe that Peter had really dragged the kids into this.
"Hey Babe." Peter greeted her casually.
"How dare you, Peter?" she hissed back, aware that he might be standing next to her kids.
"Yeah, I'm sorry we had to give the surprise away by calling..." he went on but she cut him short.
"I want you out of my apartment when I come home, Peter. And no more gifts or flowers. It won't change a thing. And don't get the kids involved. I will tell them when I see it fit."
"Alicia, please. Let us talk about this. I never got a chance to say something about your decision. A decision you made for yourself without thinking for a moment that it affects other people, especially our kids. When did you become this selfish, Alicia?" he growled at her and she knew he was no longer within the kid's earshot.
"You're the one to talk about selfishness, Peter. If you think this will make me even consider to think about talking to you ever again about something else than the kids you're out of your mind. And now get out of my apartment!" she didn't wait for his response and hung up. She tossed her cell on the desk and fell into her chair. She just stared blankly at the floor for a while before a sound behind her made her turn her head.
"You want one, too?" Cary was standing in the door frame holding up two bottles of beer.
"Sure." she nodded, smiling and he walked over to sit down opposite her, handing her the second bottle.
"Are you ok, Alicia?" he asked after they had taken the first sip.
"I'm getting there." she admitted, briefly wondering why the question didn't piss her off the way it had done when Peter had asked it.
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't, Cary. Let's not go there. Can we just sit here and drink our beers?" she didn't want to talk about the last days, not with Cary or Peter. Just sit and think about nothing for a change.
"Sure." Cary nodded and toasted her silently.
Two weeks had passed since she had last spoken to Peter. The gifts had stopped and the only time she had heard from him was when his secretary called her assistant to check on some dates he needed her to appear at his side. They hadn't even talked to each other on how to deal with that picture of Zach.
She had come home that evening to an empty apartment, the kids had already been in bed and the remains of the 'family dinner' had been cleared away. She had poured herself a glass of red wine and sat in the kitchen for a while replaying the fight with Peter that had taken place here in her head. And again she wondered why she hadn't snapped at Cary earlier for asking if she was ok like she had at Peter. Was it because she thought he didn't really care how she was doing because she grieved for Will, a man he had disliked nearly since the day they had met. But was it fair to Peter to think like that she asked herself while she took another sip from her wine. Wasn't it more like she had needed to hurt someone else because she was hurting and Peter seemed like the perfect target. But thinking back now, throwing the scandal back in his face had been a low hit she wasn't proud of. She drank the last bit of her wine, deciding to go to bed. She left the room, switching off the light in passing when she looked back to the counter an image suddenly appeared in front of her eyes - her kids and Peter preparing dinner together just hours ago. They laughed and joked, happy to spend time together. She closed her eyes and as she opened them again the image was gone but a single tear ran down her cheek. She was quick to brush it away, banning all thoughts about Peter from her mind. She would stick with her decision, she had to.
She was clueless on why all this went through her head now while she was sitting outside the courthouse during a break. She had successfully pushed it away but now it flooded all back and she didn't know how to stop it. Had it been Grace by telling her that Peter would pick her and Zach up in the evening as they were spending the weekend with him or was it just the fact that she couldn't ignore it any longer? She sighed deeply, taking a sip from her coffee. She realized she had to deal with it. Maybe it wasn't too bad that she had the weekend to herself. It was also about time she figured out a way to tell her kids. She knew Peter hadn't so far. She had feared he would've after heir last argument on the phone but none of the kids had said a word.
She checked her watch when her cell rang. The break was nearly over and she got up from the bench while answering the call.
"Hey Mom." Zach greeted her.
"Hi Zach, I'm in a hurry. I have court in a few minutes." She grabbed her purse and walked towards the entrance, throwing her coffee in a nearby trash can.
"This won't take long, Mom. I just wanted to tell you that I got into NYU. The admittance letter came today." she could hear the happiness in his voice and a smile spread on her face.
"Congratulations. I'm proud of you, Zach." she stopped in front of the entrance.
"Thanks, Mom. Now go kick ass in court." he laughed.
"I will. And we will celebrate this tonight." she hung up but kept her phone in her hand, dialing a number she knew by heart. Peter's number. But before she hit the call button she hesitated. It felt natural to call him with this good news. But could she still do it with the kind of arrangement she had forced on him. No contact unless it involved their public appearance or the kids. This was clearly related to the kids but the reason she had wanted to speak with him the second she had hung up with Zach wasn't purely to exchange the information. She had wanted to share the happiness and pride she felt for their son. She put the phone back in her purse and walked a few more steps towards the entry. Why did she always feel the need to run to Peter when something good happened? This and another question circled through her mind, the second one probably posing the bigger mystery. Why couldn't she let Peter comfort her? Why did she keep pushing him away when deep down she knew he wasn't following a hidden agenda, that all he wanted was to be there for her. She absent-minded turned her wedding-band and the ring Peter had given her when she had agreed to renew their vows, wondering what it would feel like if she took them off for good. The thought scared her and she pushed it away but not without wondering why it affected her that much. Wasn't her decision the first step in that direction?
"Mrs. Florrick?" her client appeared at her side, jerking her from her thoughts.
"We're going to be late." he told her and she nodded, following him inside the building. Her thoughts had to wait again.