Author's Note: Ahhhhh! Why did I write this?! I can't tell whether I love it or hate it. I wrote the first half several months ago, and the second half in just about the last half hour. Sorry if it sucks. X_X

My 2nd entry for the '1000 fanfiction challenge'. IMPLIED HanjixLevi. I don't ship them. I see them more as best buds than lovers. But take it how you will.

#27- Almost Paradise

The screams never ended, even after I'd been unconscious for… well, I didn't know how long, but it must have been a few hours. When the Titan had grabbed the cord of my 3DMG and slammed me into the ground hard enough to break nearly every bone in my body, the sun had been high in the sky. Now, when I opened my eyes and before the intense pain struck me full-force, I had just barely enough time to notice that the sun was beginning to set, the sky taking on an orange-ish hue.

I just barely remembered what had happened that lead to me, to our entire quarter of The Legion, being in this situation. It was the typical Recon-Mission-Gone-Wrong. We'd gone beyond the walls in order to try and capture a Titan alive. After my last babies, Sonny and Bean, had been unjustly murdered, I'd been begging Erwin for us to go out and capture another one. I'd been so close to a breakthrough discovery with Sonny and Bean, I could tell! But I'd never had the chance to find it… And so I needed another one.

Finally, the Commander had agreed. But, he didn't want to expense a great amount of men in this capture. Erwin himself hadn't even accompanied us. Lance Corporal Levi and I had been placed in charge of this mission, along with thirty men each. We never planned on traveling too far outside the walls; just until we encountered a few Titans and were able to capture one. And, since the perimeter between Walls Rose and Maria were swarming with the beasts, we knew it wouldn't take long. And, indeed it hadn't.

Only an hour outside the walls and we had spotted a small group of 8-meter classes lounging around the ruins of a destroyed village. It had been the perfect opportunity. After confirming with me which one from the group I wanted kept alive, Levi and three others had gone off to kill the remaining Titans while the rest of our men set up the equipment that would allow us to capture my pick alive. I knew well enough that Levi could kill the entire group on his own in a matter of seconds, but Erwin had advised us to use extreme caution when on this mission. His exact words being 'I can't afford to lose either of you.'

Apparently we didn't practice enough caution. As soon as the capture equipment was finished being set up, it happened. Out of the woods less than a mile away burst a whole horde of Titans, and they were gunning it straight for us. It's like they knew that the cannons were meant for capturing them. But… that's impossible, right? As far as I've researched, Titans are unable to have any form of rational thought.

I called for my men to ready themselves for a fight. We had no other option. They were coming at us too fast to be able to mount our horses and try and escape, and we couldn't just leave Levi and the others, who were still fighting the small group we'd first spotted, and distracting the one that we'd meant to be kept alive. They were apparently oblivious to the oncoming horde.

I knew Levi better than that though, and soon the last Titan from the first group fell dead (I whined lightly. It had looked like such a good test subject, too!), and a small form was zipping through the sky in a blur towards the nearest Titan from the oncoming group, already having shot a hook into its shoulder.

The others soon followed suite, and I joined them.

But… there were just too many of them… I counted at least three that I killed by myself… I knew Levi's number of kills probably doubled or even tripled that, and our squads were holding their own well enough to take down a dozen or so more. But… they just kept coming. With every one Titan we cut down, three more would show up to replace it. Where were they all coming from? Was something drawing them to our position? It was uncanny…

And now, I lay here… surrounded by the bodies of my comrades, while I can hear more of them being ripped apart or bitten in half in the distance. Was Levi still alive? I don't know… probably… that guy's impossible to kill.

I couldn't help but think of how disappointed Erwin would be. This mission was an utter failure… and I can't help but blame myself. I was the one that wanted this in the first place. I'd gone as far as to get on my knees and kiss the commander's boots in order to get him to allow it. And now… the Survey Corps had lost another fifty… sixty members…. Myself included.

I wonder if there's an afterlife… I hear some people talking about a heaven…. A paradise that one can go to after they've died, to escape from the harsh realities of life… does it really exist? I guess I'm about to find out…

It's funny, though… most people who fall to the Titans have a relatively quick death… whether they're bitten in half, crushed under their giant feet, or what have you… it's over in minutes at most… but… I've been laying here for what seemed like a short eternity. Obviously, I'd been unconscious for hours, and now that I was awake and could tell death was soon upon me, it wasn't coming… why? Why can't I die…? Why can't I reach that paradise I've heard so much about?

"Oi! Shitty glasses!"

Levi…? Is that you? Heh…. Dumb question. No one else calls me that… it's your little pet name for me, isn't it? I wonder if you'd get angry if anyone else called me that. Well… you're always angry anyways, it seems…

I can feel strong arms lifting me, and then the familiar whizz of the 3D gear being used… A feeling of weightlessness as I'm lifted into the air. I have no idea what's going on. Even if I were to open my eyes to look, I wouldn't be able to see much. The prescription goggles I wore during missions had broken. I could still feel bits of the glass stuck in my face, only adding to the pain in the rest of my body. It hurts, Levi… make it stop… please?

"Hang on.. Hanji. I'm taking you back to the wall, now."

The words were muffled, or perhaps they just sounded that way because I was slipping back into unconsciousness. I felt my body being shifted… more pain… and then I was on something that was moving. A horse?

I wonder if there really is an afterlife… I wonder if everyone has their own afterlife, that's a paradise just for them. If so, and I end up going there today, I hope it's filled with Titans for me to study.

That would be my paradise.

I'm almost there…. Almost….

"Don't you dare die on me, shitty glasses!"

That's that. Did Hanji live or die? I leave it to your imagination. This was just a one-shot. Tell me what you think through a fave/follow/review! Thanks!