Enlightenment

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.

Enjoy!

Tenten should be jealous of many people in her life. She had always dreamed of becoming a great ninja like Tsunade, but Sakura took that chance away. It's not that Tenten was not a great ninja, she was very skilled with weaponry, but she was the one who wanted to train under Tsunade. And instead, Sakura got to do it all because she asked. The only reason Tsunade accepted was probably because of her genjutsu skills, and her skill at chakra controlling, but, hell. If Tenten knew all she had to do was simply ask, she would have sent a request for Tsunade long before she even step foot in the village. Of course, Tenten knew that asking was the way to get Tsunade's attention, but she wanted to prove herself first, to make herself known, so Tsunade could see that she was worthy of her time, so she could know it would not be a waste to train her. But Sakura, with practically no hard work or experience at all, had managed to get Tsunade to train her just because she had a tough few weeks.

It seemed rather unfair to Tenten, but she did not hate Sakura. In fact, she liked her. They hung out whenever they could. Sometimes when they were sent out from missions, the first thing they did when they got back would be to meet each other to exchange a few jutsus. Sometimes they would just go to Ichiraku ramen to talk, and sometimes, when all the other girls were free, they would have a sleepover and gossip. Tenten knew it was a bad habit, and that renowned kunoichi should not have slumber parties, but she could not help it. She liked to take a break from the ninja world, and if having something as childish as having a sleepover with her girlfriends, then so be it.

And then there was Ino, the perfect picture of beauty. She was statuesque and just simply perfect. And although Tenten wasn't all that ugly herself, more boys chose Ino than they chose her. Not that it bothered her in any way, most of the time she wasn't even interested, but it kind of sucked to know that they would rather pick someone else over her.

Then there was Hinata, the gently, shy heiress. She knew she had no reason to be jealous of Hinata. Tenten liked who she was, spunky, sometimes loud, and someone who spoke her mind, while Hinata was the exact opposite, although she did loosen up a bit when she was around with people she knew. But the place where she lives is a mansion, for a crying out loud! Honestly, who would not want to live in a mansion?

She knew that her jealousy was completely childish, selfish, and not to mention unhealthy, but she could not help but notice these things. She was human after all and when others around her had so much, and she barely had anything that she wanted, how could she not notice these things. Her friends had looks, money, brains, special training...

Tenten was pretty, but not gorgeous like Ino. Her parents weren't poor, but not rich like Hinata's. She was not as smart as Sakura, but she was not dumb either. Tenten wanted to distinguish herself by being an unforgettable ninja, but the special training she hoped to receive went to Sakura.

Tenten's friends seemed to have it all figured out, and that was what probably bothered Tenten the most. Sakura knew what she wanted to pursue as a ninja. Sure, Tenten loved weaponry, but she had wanted another specialty, something more powerful. Ino was bound to find a loving husband sooner or later, have kids and settle down. Was that what Tenten wanted? Stability? She just did not know. Hinata accepted who she was. She accepted her shyness, her stuttering, and although she was trying to do something about it she knew that it would be a while before she broke out of her shell, before she blossomed into a beautiful flower. But she accepted the wait. She could wait patiently for something to happen, and Tenten could not. She wished she had Hinata's patience. She wished she could have her whole future planned out.

It was like Tenten was fighting turmoil inside of her. She had no idea what her future held in store. She was the kind of person that wanted to know what would happen before it actually happened. She did not necessarily need to know the details, but she wanted some kind of idea of what her future held in store for her.

Tenten fought this battle every day. She wondered if she could turn herself into a completely new person, but that would just be lying to herself. Even if the world saw what she wanted them to see, she knew the truth inside. The truth that kept her up at night. The truth that caused her to go into a depression.

Lee was the first person to notice Tenten's depression. When he approached Tenten about it, she waved him off. Even if she wanted to tell Lee the truth, what could she say? That her depression originated from longing, jealousy, and the need to know the future? What would Lee think of her? It would be another reason for people to call her pathetic, another reason to pity her, and that was the last thing Tenten wanted.

However, her condition worsened. She began to shut herself off. Gai was the next one to notice and Tenten did not know what to do. She needed to get away from the Hidden Leaf Village, at least for a while, to get her priorities straight and her jealousy all sorted out-her future all sorted out. But how could she leave the Hidden Leaf Village without an explanation, how could she put her life on hold for Kami knows how long until she figured out what she wanted from her life? What would she tell her friends? Where would she even go?

She made up her mind to take it one step at a time. Firstly, she needed to figure out a way to convince Tsunade to let her leave for a while. Then Tenten would take the rest as it came. The thing she was most afraid of was the outcome of her journey. Would she be successful in finding a meaningful purpose to her life? Or would the constant reminder that she was just there, not part of anything special, haunt her forever?

She went to Tsunade right after she decided on her explanation. She had not involved her parents in any of her intentions. She doubted they even noticed her depression so she did not think they would understand. She chose the way of the ninja; however they were not ninjas and strongly advised against it. They did not like the violence the danger that came with being a ninja. They labeled themselves as pacifists.

She was eighteen now, though. She was a big girl perfectly capable of making her own decisions. This decision was in her best interest, after all.

As she approached Tsunade's office, she was very confident in the decision she was making. She would wonder how her friends would take the news but she would not stick around to find out. She would leave as soon as Tsunade gave her permission to. However, when she came back, she was not sure she would be welcomed back with open arms. But it was something she would have to deal with. It was either her return or her departure.

She knocked on the door and heard a 'come in' from the other side. She entered quickly, ready to get going. She had actually already packed, her bags ready at her door. She was sure Tsunade would let her go. There would not be any reason for her to deny her request.

"Lady Tsunade," Tenten began. "I have a request. I wish to leave the village for a period of time."

Tsunade was seated with her chin propped up against the back of her hands, leaning on the desk. Tenten saw her eyes narrow a bit, and she stayed in that position for a few moments pondering Tenten's strange request. She wondered why she wanted to leave the village and wasted no time asking her.

"Well, I wish to see my biological parents in the Hidden Mist Village."

Tenten knew she was adopted since she was a child. She was the one that insisted on not having a last name, because her adoptive parents' surname was not hers, and some signed papers could do nothing to change that. Her adoptive parents were great and she had not intended even looking for her biological parents at all since they abandoned her. But the wanting to visit her biological parents was the most perfect excuse she could find.

Tsunade seemed to consider this. She was suspicious at first, being the Fifth Hokage, she was not stupid. She asked herself why Tenten waited all this time to find out about her biological parents and then asked her question aloud. Fortunately, Tenten prepared herself for any questions Tsunade might have thrown at her.

"I wasn't ready enough to face them before. I thought they would deny my existence like they did eighteen years ago. But I want to confront them now to know why they didn't want to keep me."

Tenten hoped that this touchy answer reached out to Tsunade. This would be the only chance she got. If she asked again to leave the village under terms not related to missions, Tsunade would definitely smell something fishy and would probably never let Tenten leave the village again. But Tsunade would not let Tenten go without knowing all of the details first.

"How do you know they're in the Hidden Mist?" Tsunade inquired.

"My adoptive parents told me. That's where they went to adopt me."

"Well, that was eighteen years ago. They could have moved."

Tenten was prepared for this question, too.

"Yes, they could've. But I bet they didn't move out of the Hidden Mist. If they moved out of their last home, I could easily track them down to their new one."

Tsunade considered this for a moment and decided to give in. The pour soul just wanted to see her biological parents and there was nothing wrong with that. She was the Hokage and she was expected to promote peace and happiness in the village. Denying Tenten's request of making peace with her past would send out a wrong message. Every request she received also had effects on her reputation. She had to be very careful in what she did. Which is why she was so reluctant to let her go. If word got out that she approved this request she was sure that more and more people would want to leave the village. Of course they had to have an excuse, and proof of it, but she risked having lots of villagers leave. They could get attacked or ambushed, or held for interrogation by enemy villages. There were so many factors to consider when granting somebody permission to leave the village. What if someone attacked Tenten? Sure, she could fend for herself but what if she was outnumbered?

"How much time are we talking about here? Weeks, months, years?"

That was the only question Tenten did not know. How long would it be until her depression ended, until she felt comfortable enough to set foot in the village knowing that she would never have to face such emotions ever again. Months? Years? She quickly thought up a response.

"Well, I'd like to spend at least on of my birthday's with them. But I turned eighteen four months ago. Is it possible to ask for an eight month leave? I mean, I haven't seen them for eighteen years, and compared to eighteen years, eight months isn't that long of a time."

"It is if you're away from the village." Tsunade replied.

Tenten knew that it was not going to be easy to convince Tsunade, but the lady would not budge. She thought that all of her plans would go down the drain, that she would be stuck with her feelings forever. What was the cause of her feelings, anyways? She had never felt them before. She thought perhaps it was because she turned eighteen. Now she was fully responsible for herself, for her life. But what did she want to do with the remainder of her life? She wanted to do something so special that would leave a good mark on the village. She wanted to be remembered as an extraordinary ninja, not just a normal one. The idea that she was growing up certainly took its toll on her. Growing up like a whole bunch of other people who nobody remembered, who were just simply there, who were just parts of the bigger picture unsettled Tenten.

Tsunade saw the distress on her face and sighed.

"Okay," She said, "You can go search for your parents. Once you've located them, send me a messenger bird. I want to know that you arrived there safely."

Tenten's face beamed with happiness and joy like it had not for months. She was so amazed and grateful that Tsunade would let her go, because truthfully, she felt sort of guilty that she was lying to the Hokage. She really did not intend to spend eight months with the parents that abandoned her all those years ago. She had always known that someday she would meet her biological parents, whether she wanted to or not, but all she planned was to give them a quick visit. The rest of the time she would dedicate to herself.

"But Tenten, have you considered the possibility that your parents won't accept you into their home? If they ask you to leave, you must come back to the village." Tsunade said.

"Yes, I realize that. Thank you, Lady Tsunade."

Tenten was heading for the door when Tsunade's voice made her halt.

"Tenten, I do realize that this time is for you and your parents, if they accept you. But I want to make sure you're safe for every part of your journey. That's why you'll have an escort."

Tenten stared at her in shock. This was something Tenten would not have ever factored into the equation. An escort? Did Tsunade think she was so weak that she needed an escort? How was she going to deal with her problems if a frigging escort expected her to stay with her parents twenty-four/seven? She was about to object when Tsunade held up her hand signaling her to wait.

"Now Tenten, don't get mad. I'm sure you're perfectly capable of protecting yourself, and I promise you your escort won't get into any matters regarding your family."

Tsunade could see anger radiating from every cell of Tenten's being, and a hint of despair in her eyes. However, she was sure that this was the best course of action. Tenten held valuable information on the village, not crucial, but she still knew some things that enemy villages would be better off not knowing. And the village came first. There was always the possibility of an ambush, and even though Tenten could handle two strong opponents by herself simultaneously, how could she possibly defend herself if she was outnumbered? Tenten was also a strong kunoichi that a lot of the village people respected. If Kami forbid she died, her loss would affect a lot of the people around her. It would take a toll on all of her close friends and most importantly, her Team. It would take a toll on Tsunade, as well.

"But, Lady Tsu-" Tenten began before the Hokage cut her off.

"Tenten, you know I'm a very stubborn woman and once I've made up my mind I seldom change it. This is my final decision. Respect it or I will deny your request altogether."

Tenten took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She realized that this was not as bad as she had originally thought. She did not have to talk to her escort at all. She did not have to give him or her day by day reports. It did limit her to staying around the parts where her biological parents lived, but that was okay. She would check herself in to the nicest hotel there and reflect upon her life. Being away from about everyone she knew would clear her mind; give her a new perspective on everything. She would spend a whole eight months just to find herself. That was the sole purpose of the journey.

However, it might seem weird to the escort for her not to be staying in her parents' house, but she could just say that they do not have an extra room or something of the sort. Hell, if her escort asked she did not even have to respond. He or She did not have the right to even ask. Her escort was just a technicality. When Tenten realized that her plans were not thwarted, she asked who the escort would be.

"I haven't thought about it yet. I have a few candidates in mind, but I haven't chosen one yet. He or She will also have to be willing to separate from their families for eight months. On the bad side, I'll be losing two ninja and not just one... When do you plan to head out?"

"Well I wanted to do that a.s.a.p. Today, if possible."

"Today?" Tsunade repeated. "You're in a rush."

"Curiosity, mainly."

"Tsunade, nobody knows that I'm intending to leave. I'd like to keep it that way." Tenten confided.

Tsunade raised her eyebrow.

"Not even your parents?"

"Well, I don't need their permission. I'm not a minor anymore. I'm eighteen. I haven't lived with them for two years."

Tenten had gotten an apartment at the age of sixteen, when missions came pouring down at her like rain. She had to get up early and she often came back late. Living with her parents meant that they would have to know about the missions and that had put an apparent strain on her adoptive mother. She kept thinking that one day Tenten would never come back. It was then when she decided to get an apartment of her own. That way, her mother would not know when she was on missions. That way, she would not stay up awake at night waiting for Tenten to return.

"What about your friends?"

"I'd rather leave them out of it. If they found out the reason why I left they would pity me. Their pity would be the last thing I need."

Tsunade just sighed.

"Very well, do as you wish. I still haven't made up my mind about your escort. He or She will be waiting for you at the gates at eight. Does that work for you?"

Tenten nodded and Tsunade waved her hand, meaning that Tenten was dismissed. Tenten exited the office with hope in her mind and heart. Closing Tsunade's door reminded Tenten of the saying: When one door closes, another one opens.

...

Tenten slept fitfully that night. In fact, she had not slept so well in her whole life. She did not know how she slept so sound since she had been suffering from insomnia ever since she became depressed about how unpredictable and unfair life was. She assumed it was because, in a strange way, she was making a new, fresh start. She was determined to find out what she wanted from life during this journey. She wanted to figure it all out just like her friends. So when she walked out of her apartment door with her backpack, when she locked the door, she felt refreshed, more relieved than she had in a very long time.

Of course, she felt a little bit of guilt not telling her parents and friends about her long departure, but this was something she had to do without anyone's knowledge. Without anybody's pity, which she would have surely received if she told her friends where she was headed. Her parents would be devastated. They would probably feel that they were not good enough for her, and that was why Tenten set out to find her biological ones. But they only knew half the truth. They did not know the real reason. And they never would. Tenten would make sure of that.

...

She was headed towards the gate when she remembered that she was to be accompanied by an escort. She felt a little bit uneasy. It was true that she did not have to speak to the escort, but if she did not the escort would find it rude. If he or she found it rude, would he or she tell everyone about Tenten's real journey to get back at her? Was he or she a blabber mouth, an energetic person like Naruto, or quiet and reserved like Shino?

When she approached the gate she received her answers. Every fiber of her being was in shock. This was her escort? Tenten made it very clear that she wanted to keep the whole matter as confidential as possible. She assumed that Tsunade at least assigned someone she did not know. But perhaps, maybe, just maybe, this person was not her escort. Maybe her escort was late and the person standing by the gate was just headed out for a mission. She would never know unless she asked.

"What are you doing here?" Tenten asked.

"Why escorting you, of course." Neji replied.

Tenten's heart thudded in her years. What had Tsunade told him? Of course she filled him in of the details regarding his 'mission' but did she tell him why Tenten was leaving? If Tsunade told him it was to meet with her biological parents, Neji would have probably said it was complete bull shit. Of course, Neji would have said it in milder terms. That is, if he wanted to inform the Hokage. Maybe he was just interested in what Tenten's intentions really were that he decided to play along. He knew how she really felt about her biological parents because she had once talked about it. Tenten had once blurted out her true feelings when Naruto got the best of her. He was asking her all types of questions about her biological parents. Tenten assumed that it was because of genuine curiosity since Naruto had no parents, but when she refused to talk, Naruto kept annoying her to the point where she finally snapped and told him what she really thought of them. Neji had been there to witness her outburst.

If he told Tsunade that Tenten told him that she would hate the idea of meeting her biological parents, Tsunade would have asked Tenten some questions. So maybe there was nothing to worry about, since Tsunade was not there. Maybe Neji did tell Tsunade and Tsunade was also playing along to see my true colors. Or maybe, he knew nothing at all. Maybe he was just given the order to escort me. Maybe. Maybe not. Tenten was beginning to get paranoid.

"What's wrong, Tenten?" Neji asked.

Neji thought that she must have seen a ghost with the look that her eyes held. He thought, perhaps, it was because he would be escorting her on an eight month trip Tsunade did not tell him much about. She told him if she wanted the details he should ask Tenten herself, since she was not at particular liberty to do so. Confidentiality, Tsunade had said.

"Um, nothing?" Was all that Tenten said.

It came out more of a question than a reply. How should she react to this? If Neji came along with her, her escort was not a technicality anymore. If Neji came along with her, it would become a huge dilemma for Tenten. Neji was her teammate. He would expect Tenten to introduce him to her parents, would he not? He would expect to spend some time together, as teammates. Perhaps train. However, Tsunade said that my escort would keep his distance. She needed to find out what Neji knew.

"Would you mind telling me what business you have in the Hidden Mist?" He asked, interrupting her train of thought.

Tenten just stared at him. If he was asking this simple question, then he obviously was not informed. Tenten felt like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders. She actually sighed out loud in relief.

"You mean, Tsunade didn't tell you?"

"If she did, I wouldn't be asking you." He replied.

Neji saw a big grin spreading across Tenten's face. He raised an eyebrow in response, wondering what she was up to. Why would Tenten need to go to the Hidden Mist with an escort? She would be fine by herself. Not in an ambush, Tsunade had said. Tsunade's instructions were very vague. She told him that he needed to escort Tenten on an eight month trip to the Village Hidden in the Mist. Trip, not mission. But since he was an escort he considered it a mission. She also told him the only reason she was assigning this mission to him was because Tenten would not be able to defend herself in an ambush.

"Well, Neji, I'm actually going to track down my biological parents." Tenten said.

She was waiting for him to respond. So far, he had not moved an inch. Tenten wondered what he would say. He knew how she actually felt about them. She was wondering how she was going to convince him that she had a change of heart despite all those spiteful words she had blurted out during that time when she told Naruto what she really thought of her biological parents.

"Okay," Neji said simply.

Neji remembered her outburst at Ichiraku Ramen that day when Naruto probed for answers regarding her biological parents, though to this day he still did not know why. He remembered the words 'good for nothing low lives', 'my mother was probably a whore that accidentally got pregnant by a drug addict', and 'if they died I'd probably shit on their graves for abandoning me!'

Neji had never seen Tenten lose control like that. He summarized that it was No Man's Land so he never talked to her about it, never said anything to anybody else. Naruto must have gotten the same feeling as he did. That the subject should not be further pursued unless somebody, namely Naruto, wanted to get killed by Tenten's hand. Regardless, Neji did not ask why she had changed her mind. What Tenten wanted to do was her business and her business alone. It was not right for Neji to interfere, to ask questions that he knew Tenten would not be comfortable answering. He saw her sigh of relief when he had not asked about the specifics.

Tenten was beginning to think that Tsunade's choice was not a bad one. Neji would not ask questions. Neji would mind his own business like the proper gentlemen he was. He knew that this was a touchy subject. He did not expect any explanations from her. He was here just to escort her.

"Well let's get going," Tenten said. "It's a three day's journey, after all. The faster the better."

Tenten went out of the gates and started running. As soon as her foot stepped out of the village she felt like amazing. Like nothing could possibly stop her. She felt free and in control of her life for once in a very long time. She vaguely registered Neji's silent footsteps behind her. This was her time. This was her time to shine.

...

Eh, ok, so tell me what you guys think? I didn't really think that the whole jealousy, life being unfair depression suited Tenten, but since she didn't get a lot of onscreen time I thought that I could get away with the idea...

I also didn't take my time editing, so if it seems a bit messy I'll apologize. I just wanted to know if it would be worth the time and effort because if you guys don't enjoy it I would totally abandon it :P It's definitely not one of my brightest ideas... I was just looking through some of my word documents and I stumbled across this one. I had totally forgotten about it. The first two pages were already written and I found myself adding on to it... so yeah.

I actually have more ideas about nejiten fics, better ones, but if I start numerous stories I'm sure I won't finish any of them. :P

So please review and tell me what you think!