Well I hope this is okay.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.
There's a moment's tension, a touch of connection and then a sigh let's her know she's not alone.
"We have got to stop meeting like this," she says. She doesn't bother to sit up in her bunk or move her hand from over her face.
"When I figure out how to stop it, we will," Ren informs her.
"What if I figure out how to stop it?" she demands.
There's the sound of a shrug and then he says, "The end result will be the same I suppose."
"Hmm," she says and then sits up. Kylo Ren AKA Ben Solo is standing in the middle of her room. She can't see where he is and she knows he can't see where she is either, except for the bunk because she's sitting on it.
"Down cycle?" he asks.
"For me," she allows. "I'm on shift." She has to be careful about what she says; he can narrow down where she was by the length of planet rotation.
"Ahh," he says.
"Did you sleep?" she asks. He has dark, er….darker circles around his eyes and there is tension in his face.
"Some," he allows. Rey waits a moment but he doesn't elaborate.
"So, what shall we talk about today?" she asks. It's been three months since Crait and this isn't the first time they've seen each other since. They've argued and explained and hashed out every single problem they can think of in the past few months, several times over. No matter how hard they try they can't seem to meet in the middle. The most they've managed to do is agree to disagree.
"I don't know," he says. Rey sighs.
"Me either," she replies. There is a moment's hesitation and then he comes and sits on her bunk, scooting so his back is against the wall like hers.
"Do you think he lied?" she asked.
"Who?" Ren is staring at her door. Or, she guesses, probably staring at his.
"Snoke," she says. "Do you think he lied about this being something he did to us?"
"Maybe," he says, "I don't put it past him."
She sighs. "Me either." She leans back her head on the wall and stares up at her gray ceiling. "Did you lie?" she asked him.
"About what?" He's still staring of into the distance.
"About my parents?" It was something she wondered at often but hadn't quite had the nerve to ask yet.
"No," he said, "And yes."
Rey waited.
"They weren't nobodies but they weren't somebodies either. They were ex-republic who hadn't handled the aftermath of the war very well. But they are dead."
"Oh," she said, numbly. Next to her Ben shifted and hooked his arm through hers.
"I'm sorry," he said. She didn't think he was talking about lying to her.
She swallows hard, sniffs and then swipes at her eyes with her free hand. "Thanks," she says shakily. He doesn't say anything, but gives her the silence and the time she needs.
"Do you think we can ever stop fighting?" she asks.
"Considering the only way we've found to do that, is for one of us to come to the other side, I would say no," Ben tells her.
Rey laughs. It doesn't sound happy. She's been fighting her whole life but not like this. This time it's others who get hurt and Rey can't do a thing to help them.
"Gosh Ben," she says, "I'm so tired of the killing. I'm so tired of people dying, good people. Please tell me you don't enjoy it."
"I don't," he reassures her, "It's simply a means to an end." It should scare her, the coldness of the statement, but she relaxes because he doesn't take pleasure in it. He's not a monster, not yet.
"Does power mean so much to you?" Rey asks, leaning her head against his shoulder. While Kylo Ren is her much respected enemy, Ben Solo is her friend.
"What does power mean to you Rey?" he asks in his deep voice. He tilts his head so his cheek rests on top her head.
Rey stops to think about it and then says, "The ability to protect what you love. What does power mean to you Ren Solo?"
"Home," he says simply, "Power is the ability to carve out your space in the world, a place that's yours, a place where you belong."
"You don't find a home with power Ben," she says, quietly.
"It's the only way I've found," he replies just as quietly. "And I'll fight for it. Wouldn't you fight for your conception of power? Wouldn't you fight for the ability to make what you love safe?"
She would. But not the way he had. There are lines that shouldn't be crossed or what you love will hate you forever.
"Not if those I love are hurt in the process," she says, "Then it's not worth it. What's the power to protect what I love mean when they're dead by the time I've obtained it? Or what if what I become with that power makes them fear me? Hate me?"
She feels him stiffen under her.
"I'm sorry," she says, "You're not a monster."
"I am a monster," he corrects her.
"No," Rey refutes. "You aren't."
"Not yet you mean," he says darkly.
"Not ever Ben!" she says fiercely, tilting her head up so she could look him in the eye. "I will never let you be a monster."
"Because that wouldn't bode very well for your rebellion," he says coldly.
"Because it would destroy you," Rey refutes. She places a hand over his heart. "You still have a heart Ben, and it's the best thing about you."
He stares at her, wide eyed and then swallows hard and looks away. She leans her head back on his shoulder and this time she's the one giving him the time he needs.
"You're very fond of calling me that," he observes after a few long moments.
"What? Oh, you mean Ben. It's your name, isn't it?" asks Rey. "And it's still a part of you, no matter how much you might wish it wasn't. Believe me the day there isn't anything left of Ben in you is the day I'll stop calling you that."
He actually smiles, though its very quick. "That seems a little childish," he says, still amused.
"Say the guy who throws temper tantrums with his lightsaber," says Rey rolling her eyes.
Ben colors faintly. He was never going to live down the time they had connected while he was attacking the side of his room with his lightsaber and he knew it.
"Shut up," he grumbles. Rey tries to hide a smile but can't. She settles for resting back her head on his shoulder.
After sitting in peaceful silence for about five minutes he says, "You should get some rest. You have to be up in the morning."
"I have to be up for my next shift," she corrects. He's Ben Solo but he's still also Kylo Ren and there was no extracting one from the other no matter how much Rey wishes to do so. She'll always have to watch her words with him and he'll have to do the same with her. They're friends but sadly, they're also enemies.
"Goodbye Ren Solo," she tells him. "I do have a long shift ahead of me and no doubt you have things to do."
He smiles at her then. "Sleep well, Rey." And then he's gone.
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