It seems that time passes quickly when life is going the best it ever has, and when sadness worms its way in time can feel like it's at a complete stand still. But when you're at deaths door time has no meaning at all, you already know its up and all you have are your memories as you fade away.

As I lay here thinking of the life I lived I cant help the smile that's on my face. I was blessed with a lot. The start of my adulthood had been rough but everything worked out in the end. I've been sick for a few days and it won't be long now. I'm the only one left now. I looked over at my daughter, she looks just like her father. I feel the tears well up and trickle down my cheeks. He was my everything and together we made her.

" Mama what is it, are you in pain?"

She went to stand and get her bag, she had followed her father and became a doctor. I grabbed her hand and shook my head no. I wanted to remain clear minded so I could relive my happy years. There were so many wonderful and sad memories. But they were of my family and friends and it's all I had left of them.

" No Liliya, I'm fine I was just thinking about your Papa."

She nodded and I saw the shimmer of tears threatening to spill before she turned her head. The two of them had been so close, she was the very definition of a daddy's girl. When he died two years ago we had both gone through a pretty deep depression. We helped each other out of it though. Dimitri and I had been there for each other when each of our friends and family went, but when he went I was alone except for Liliya, Andre, and their children. Our grandchildren.

" I'm going to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back ok Mama."

I knew she was going in there to cry, she never wanted to cry about her father in front of me. She thought it would upset me, but I was supposed to be protecting her not the other way around.

While Liliya is in the bathroom I tried to focus on just breathing, but with the flu I had gotten, it had set up in my lungs and the fluid was drowning me. I discussed it with my daughter and I wanted to die in mine and Dimitri's home. She agreed to make me happy no matter how she felt about it.

So instead of focusing on the fact that I was in pain and couldn't breath I decided to replay some of the better memories in my mind.

" Rosemarie Hathaway Mazur if you don't hold still you're going to mess up all the hard work I've done!"

Lissa had been curling and pulling at my hair for over an hour. I don't know why, all I know is she said she wanted to try something new and that my hair was perfect for it.

After another thirty minutes she declared me done and walked to my closet. Now my sneaking suspicion that she was up to something spiked even higher. And then higher still when she walked out with a little black dress in hand.

" Here put this on. I want to see how the hair looks with this style dress."

" What are you up to Vasilisa Sabina Rhea Ozera?"

I asked taking the dress from her and slipping in on. She gave me a cheeky grin and then there was a knock at my door. Lissa went and opened the door to reveal my mother and Tasha.

" Oh that dress and hair style does look amazing together. It's perfect!"

Tasha said clapping her hands together like a child, while my mother nodded trying and failing miserably to hide her unshed tears. Lissa just gave them both a ' did you doubt my skills' look.

" OK what is going on here?"

I demanded, they were all being extremely weird. The doorbell rung throughout the house and with no warning Lissa was dragging me out of the room and down the stairs. When we reached the bottom step I could here Dimitri's voice talking with my father. We rounded the corner into the living room and Dimitri's words cut short and his mouth dropped open.

I smiled at the reaction and my father cleared his throat instantly making Dimitri close his mouth and shrug his shoulders as if to say ' well look at her', but it didn't matter to Abe Mazur I was still his baby.

It was at that moment that I realized what Dimitri was wearing. A nice button up shirt, black slacks, and his hair tied back at the nape of his neck. Now it was my jaw's turn to drop, making my dad roll his eyes and smile. But damn Dimitri looked really freaking sexy.

" Did we have special plans tonight Comrade?"

I asked when I finally got my mouth closed and found my voice. We had both been working six days a week at the clinic, I just hoped I hadn't forgotten anything important. But honestly I couldn't remember anything at all. I know Oksana had closed early today saying she had something she needed to do, was she doing that for whatever this was?

" No Roza I wanted to surprise you and take you out tonight since the clinic is closed tomorrow and we're off."

He said with that sweet but sexy as hell smile on his face. Damn my inside were turning into a liquid mess right now.

" Well you two have a good time and I love you sweetheart."

My mother said. We said our goodbyes and Dimitri helped me out to the car after Tasha handed me a pair of impossible heels. She had a thing about high-very high-heels.

Once out the door and into the car Dimitri would not tell me where we were going. It was frustrating but he was so excited and I didn't want to ruin it for him.

When we pulled up outside of my dads cabin I was surprised and a little confused. I couldn't understand why we had gotten so dressed up to drive here, but again Dimitri was so excited I couldn't ask him what all this was. I would just have to wait and see.

He jumped out of the car and ran around the front to my door. Opening it he helped me out and just like last time we'd been here he picked me up and carried me to the front door. Thank god he could because these heels sucked. He put me down without opening it and turned towards me motioning me to open the door. He looked like a small kid on Christmas, it was too adorable.

I opened the door and the sight in front of me made my heart swell with more love for this man than I thought was even possible. It was better than any place we could have gone.

The small round table had a beautiful white lace table cloth on it. There was a candle and vase with two long stem red rosses in it, and a bucket with a bottle of champagne.

There was an amazing smell coming from the oven. I turned around to look at Dimitri, only to find him down on one knee holding a small black box with a beautiful diamond ring in it. I was speechless.

" Roza we've been together for four years and I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that you were an amazing woman. By the time we had been together a month I knew without any doubt there was no one else for me. Will you do me the greatest honor of becoming my wife!"

I had tears streaming down my face as I nodded my head yes. I wanted nothing more than to be his wife and grow old with him.

" Mama, how are you feeling?"

I was brought out of my memory by my very worried daughter. She was such an amazing child. Always caring but also always worried about everything.

" I'm feeling fine honey. You worry too much."

She smiled at me a smile just like her father, which made my smile much bigger after my memory.

" Where were you in there Mama?"

She asked touching my temple. I didn't want her to become upset again but she was giving me that you better tell me look. She had perfected that look at an early age, just like her grandfather and father.

" I was back where your father asked me to be his wife."

" That was one of my favorite stories, one of Papa's too. He loved telling it."

And he did he would tell anyone and everyone who would listen how he asked me to marry him and how by some miracle I'd agreed. But there was no miracle he was my life.

We got married six months after he'd asked, December twenty-eighth. But with every happy memory there always seemed to be a sad one to accompany it.

" Roza I'm home."

Dimitri and I had been married for seven months, we finally bought a house down the road from both our families, and we were expecting our first child. I was twelve weeks along and we couldn't be more excited. Tasha and Ivan had just had there son Issac, Amelia their daughter wasn't exactly happy about it, but I was already learning the ropes of an infant and toddler by helping Tasha out. I needed to learn Dimitri and I wanted a big family.

I had scaled back my hours at work knowing I didn't need to be on my feet as much right now. And I knew we would be fine I still had a hefty amount of money in that account.

" I'm in the kitchen Comrade."

I heard him sigh as he walked into the kitchen and I had to stifle a laugh. He still hated the nickname. I don't think any amount of time would change that.

" Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"

He asked trying to act serious but failing miserably, but before I could answer him the phone started ringing. Dimitri went to answer it while I went back to fixing dinner.

I heard him frantically talking into the phone but I didn't know who he was talking to. I didn't have to wait long as he came back with a grave look on his face, he pulled me to the table and sat me down. I knew this would be very bad.

" We have to go and pack a bag and meet your parents at their plane. Roza I'm sorry but Mason was injured trying to talk down a robber and they couldn't get him back. He died. Vika said the captain came and talked to her and if we had any questions we could call him."

I didn't or couldn't process what he was saying, it was like my body switched to auto-pilot while I just sat there waiting for the tears that wouldn't come. We had begged him not to join the police force. Mason was just action first thinking later. No doubt he had done the same in this situation.

The next few days were a blur, we went back to Montana, helped Aunt Bertie and Vika with the funeral, watched Yelena for Vika so she could get everything done. Yelena just kept asking anyone who would listen to her where her daddy was. She was two years old and didn't understand. Eddie couldn't get back for the funeral because Mia was too close to her due date to travel. They were living in New York where Mia was a teacher, and Eddie was beating himself up for it now.

With my hormones already running ramped I was more upset then normal and with all the stress we were all under I started spotting. At first it wasn't anything to worry about I figured by taking it easy we would be ok. But two days before heading home Dimitri rushed me to the hospital where we found out at fourteen weeks our baby had died.

The last time I was in this hospital Adrian had beat me up and now this. I guess nothing good could come from me being in this place.

After recovering from the DNC I had to have we packed up and went back home. I threw myself back into work trying to keep from the sadness that was trying to overtake me. Everyone was at a loss of what to do for me but I just needed time, and for people to stop asking me if I was ok or not. Because I wasn't my cousin/bestfriend and my baby died. That's a hard thing to deal with, but Dimitri and I worked through it together.

" Mama I have to go call Andre and check on the kids. Are you sure you don't want him to bring them here?"

" Liliya I'm sure I don't want them to remember me like this. Just tell them their babushka loves them very much."

She nodded and left the room. I could hear her out in the hallway telling her husband she didn't think it would be much longer. I heard her choked sob as he responded to what she had said. I couldn't handle her heartbreak so I decided to sink back into my mind. Although my next memory wasn't a very good one. It was just as sad as the last.

It had been two years since Mason and mine and Dimitri's baby had died and we were now state side for yet another funeral. Andre had contacted us four months ago when he'd found out he had an inoperable brain tumor. Lissa and Christian were about to have their first baby and the news shook us all.

Two months before he died Lissa gave birth to a healthy baby boy whom she named after her dying brother. When she was healed enough to travel the three of us- her, me, and the baby- went to help Sydney out with Andre's care. Christian wanted to come but Lissa insisted he stay and deal with the restaurant. Dimitri understood I had to do this and said he'd come when I called.

Andre spent his last days happy with his wife, sister, and nephew. I would make myself scarce through the day and visit with my aunt, Vika, and Yelena who had grown so much. And at night I would sit up and make sure Andre was comfortable. Sydney needed the rest she was tired from it all.

His last week was the worst of it all. He couldn't speak at all and because the placement of the tumor he lost all function on the right side of his body. He gave up his fight then and died peacefully in his sleep. It was a sad time for all of us but we were relieved he wasn't in pain anymore.

Everyone came over for the funeral. Olena came with them to see her daughter and grand-daughter. It had been a while for them but Vika didn't want to leave the states, its where her and Mason had made their memories and where he was buried.

Sydney decided after the funeral she was going to go stay with her family but promised to stay in touch. We never heard from her again. Lissa ended up selling her childhood home and using a good amount of the money for research of brain tumors. It was a worthy cause, it wouldn't help Andre but maybe it would help another family.

" Mama, Andre and the girls send their love."

I nodded looking at my daughter I couldn't believe she was all grown up and a wife and mother. I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. It was one of my happiest memories.

" Yeah Lissa...um I can't really hear you...what is he so mad about?...Really terrible two's six months early...well that gives me something to look forward to...Yeah call me back when he takes a nap."

A nap sounded really good. I could just lie down until Dimitri got home from work. He said he would be home before the snow storm started, but it was starting to snow as I tried to waddle up the stairs. I was thirty seven weeks pregnant so climbing the stairs was a full blown workout at this point. But I finally made it to my bed for my now much deserved nap.

I don't know how long I slept for but I felt the bed dip about the time a sharp pain went across my abdomen, but it was gone soon after it was there. Opening my eyes it was almost dark and Dimitri was giving me an amused look.

" I got worried when I couldn't get a hold of you to tell you Ivan and I were going to stay open longer than originally planned."

I felt my cheeks flush a little embarrassed that I'd worried him because I'd slept through his calls. And as I looked at my phone I noticed Ivan's, Tasha's, Lissa's, Christian's, and my parents calls too. Damn I must have been really tired.

" Don't worry I called them all and told them you were just sleeping."

He said laughing at whatever facial expression I was sporting at this moment.

" Are you hungry Milaya?"

And right at that moment my stomach growled loudly indicating just how hungry I was. Dimitri laughed a hearty loud laugh and I narrowed my eyes at him.

" Yeah laugh it up Comrade, but remember you did this to me."

He stopped laughing immediately and readied himself for one of my many pregnancy melt downs. I instantly felt bad that he has had to deal with my mood swings from hell.

" I'm sorry Dimitri I didn't mean to snap at you I'm just tired, hungry, and uncomfortable. I'm ready for our child to come."

He scooted closer to me and wrapped me in his arms. I knew he was ready too, he had been working hard at work and here at home to get the nursery ready for the baby's arrival. We had decided to let the gender remain a surprise, because it honestly didn't matter to either of us. Not after what happened last time.

" I'll go fix you some dinner, why don't you take a shower? It might help you relax."

A shower did sound nice right now my back was killing me. I couldn't wait to have the extra weight off of me.

After a nice long hot shower I made my way downstairs to the delicious smell of spaghetti and garlic bread, the only thing I couldn't get enough of during these last several months.

I looked out the window in our kitchen and couldn't believe the amount of snow that was out there now. How in the hell had he even made it home? Dimitri guessing my thoughts answered my unasked question.

" It wasn't this bad an hour ago, it's laying fast now."

I nodded and sat down on the stool at the breakfast bar. Digging into the food I moaned at the taste and my poor husband had to adjust himself. It had been about a month since we'd been able to do anything physical, there had been a scare so we decided that was off the table for the duration of the pregnancy.

" Stop worrying about that Roza. You and our child are the most important things to me. I just didn't expect your moaning towards the food to effect me so much."

He always knew what was going on in my head. I nodded already making plans in my own head on how to make the lost time with him up. Lots of dirty things.

Once dinner was done Dimitri cleaned the kitchen up while I went and sat on the couch. Turning on the television I turned it to some random channel not really caring what was on. I was too uncomfortable to give a shit.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes there was a blanket draped over me and Dimitri was sleeping sitting up at the end of the couch with my feet in his lap.

I felt pressure on my hips and the need to use the bathroom so I moved to get up trying my hardest not to wake Dimitri. He looked so peaceful, he had been over doing it lately.

After some smart maneuvering I managed to accomplish this only to find the pressure was worse now that I was standing. And just as I was about to take a step warm liquid came out of me. I knew instantly I hadn't peed on myself.

" Shit, not now please!"

I cried out effectively waking Dimitri up. He looked around the room startled and when his eyes landed on me, the horror that was written on my face made him jump up and right in my little puddle of water.

" Is that...did your water break?"

" Yeah I'm pretty sure it did."

He looked out the window and back to me. We both knew we weren't leaving this house tonight. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed someone.

" Janine it's time...Yeah just broke...Yeah can you call Mama and the two of you come over here, I'll need help...Thanks."

And with that he hung up and bolted up the steps. Damn I should have known that back pain was labor, these contractions are getting worse too. Just as I was about to yell for my husband he came running back down the stairs with blankets, towels, washrags, and his medicine bag.

He grabbed the pillows off the couch and put it all on the dinning room table. What?

" I am not giving birth on the table we serve dinner on Dimitri!"

But I did give birth on that table and four hours after my water broke, Dimitri and I had a daughter with thankfully no complications. She was delivered by her father with both of her grandmothers by our sides.

Liliya came walking into the room with a blood pressure cuff.

" I'm just going to check and see ok Mama, I know you didn't want me fussing with any of this but I have to."

I nodded knowing she needed something to do. All she had was her husband and their children. Dimitri and I were not able to have anymore children after her. It had broken my heart. Lissa had three children who always wanted to stay with us. Liliya and Andre had always been best friends, so it didn't surprise us when they announced they were dating and later got married.

I looked into my daughters sad and tired eyes and realized it was time to let go. We both needed to just let go. She had my grandchildren who needed her and I wanted to be with my family and husband again.

" Liliya I'm in a lot of pain, I'll take that morphine now."

Her eyes widened in shock and fear.

" But Mama your breathing is already so shallow the morphine will make that worse."

" I know baby it's time though. I miss your father terribly and I'd like to see him again."

She looked terrified at the thought of letting me die but it would all be ok.

" Liliya Grace Belikov-Ozera you will be fine, do you hear me?"

She nodded her head, tears pouring down her face. She reached into her bag and pulled everything out that she needed. After she administered the medicine my eyes felt heavy and I drifted to sleep.

I felt myself leave my body and then I was standing behind my daughter as I watched my body give out and still. Liliya was crying in earnest now. It was a sobering feeling leaving my only child behind, but she had the rest of her life ahead of her and I knew she would be sad for a while but would eventually be fine.

" I love you Mama, give my daddy a kiss from me."

" I will baby."

I whispered when I felt a familiar tingling feeling behind me. There stood Dimitri not looking a day over twenty six. He was watching our daughter standing there crying over my body.

" She will be fine Roza we can always check on her."

I listened to his voice, oh how I had missed this man. He smiled that smile that was mine and I launched myself into his arms. I felt alive with him wrapped around me.

" My Comrade!"

" You kept me waiting a while my Roza. Come on everyone is waiting for us."

We looked at our daughter one last time and turned to walk into the white light that had appeared before us. We had lived a wonderful life and now we would spend eternity together, all of us.

I hope you enjoyed this little addition to This life we live. A few people had mentioned they wanted a sequel and I thought this would give that story a nice finish. I am working on another story but it is still in its beginning stages, so hopefully soon I will have something new to give you. Until next time guys.