Sam got off the elevator on the floor that Carly was on. She wanted to check on her and Josslyn before she left for the night. She knew that they would both probably be asleep after the night that they had but she just wanted to make sure. Without a doubt this was one of the most extreme ways for a kid to make its way into the world. But the doctors said that both Carly and Joss were going to be ok so there was nothing to worry about. Sam really wanted to get back and check with Jason to see how Michael was doing. Sam shook her head and she felt the tears well in her eyes at yet another obstacle for a kid who has been through hell to get through. Sam calmed herself as she came up to Carly's room. She could hear the faint rise of voices as she got closer and through the cracked door could hear Jax speaking and Carly crying.
Sam knocked softly and opened the door wider. Jax was sitting in a chair next to Carly and she had tears streaming down her face. And they were not new mother joy tears. "Hey, I just wanted to stop by and see if you needed anything before I left." Sam said, not sure on how to act.
"Yeah now's not really a good time." Jax said with attitude.
"I want to talk to Sam." Both Sam and Jax were a little shocked by that as Jax said "Carly…" "No, I want to talk to Sam alone." She said not giving an inch.
Jax sighed deeply and said "All right." He got up and walked to the end of the bed and ran his hand over his new born daughter sleeping head before looking back to his wife. Carly refused to meet his gaze and with a sad look, Jax walked out of the room. Sam closed the door and turned back to Carly who was sobbing almost uncontrollably.
"Carly, what happened?" Sam asked softly. "He knew," she cried, "He knew that Claudia was dangerous and that Jerry was behind Michael getting shot. He knew the whole time."
Sam also knew that but she figured that moment was not the right time to say it. Sam caught the wiggle of pink from where Josslyn was and walked over and saw that the beautiful little girl was awake. Sam smiled down at her and reached in and picked her up. "Hi, sweetie." She said to her softly. The little girl cooed and looked up at Sam with big eyes as Sam walked closer to Carly "I think your mama needs a little bit of love from you right now." Sam leans in a places the baby girl in her mother's arms. Carly grabs on to her daughter like a life line and looks down at her.
Sam watches as Carly starts to calm down and gently rock her little girl to sleep. Sam tries to steel herself from the pain that is in her heart at the sight of them and smiles. She was not going to think about what would come tomorrow right now.
Carly takes a deep breath and wipes the remainder of her tears off her face. "I want to know what is going on and I want to know all of it." Sam nods her head and says "Do you want me to call Jason?" She is shocked when Carly shakes her head and says "No I want to hear it from you. Jason will sugar coat it and I don't need that right now. I need to know what has been going on in my life that everyone else had decided I don't need to know."
Sam can see the need for the information in her eyes but still asks "Are you sure you really want to do this now?" Carly just nods her head and says "Please."
"Claudia and Jerry were behind it. Jerry was the middle man but he did know all of it. On the anniversary of Michael's shooting Jason saw Ric at the warehouse and believed it was him behind it. But he swore to Jason that is was Claudia and that Jerry had made it happen. He said that there was proof on some kind of DVD. On it was supposed to be Jerry admitting his and Claudia's involvement. He hid a bunch of them around Sonny's place to screw with Claudia. Jason said he thinks he found her looking for them a couple of times. The DVD that Ric gave Jason was blank. Jason came to me and asked me to help him find evidence that Claudia was behind it so we started searching and after Jerry showed back up in town and Jason and him were in that car bomb, we went and tried to find the guy that set it. We found out that he was a Zacharra member. He had a recording of Claudia hiring him to set the bomb but before we could really do anything about it, Claudia was run off the road and lost the baby." Sam stopped.
"And the kids ran away." Carly filled in.
Sam nodded her head and said "We split up and I went to Veracruz and Jason followed a lead to Cancun. I ended up tracking the kids to a hotel but before I could go in to the room they were staying at, I felt a gun in my back." Sam explained.
Carly's eyes got big and she whispered "Jerry?" Sam nodded her head. "When Claudia found out that Michael was the prime suspect in running her off the road, she called Jerry and asked him to bring him to her."
"She sent him after my son?" Carly whispered.
"Jerry got preoccupied with me and I found out later that Michael got suspicious and he packed up him and Krissy and took off before Jerry could get back to them. Jerry drove me to some abandoned church and held a gun on me and told me to call Jason and give him directions on where to go. Before I got off the phone with him I was able to warn him it was Jerry. Jerry took me to what looked like a club and cuffed me to a chair and left me there. About 30 minutes later some guy walked in and said something about paying Jerry for me. I was able to sweet talk him into taking the handcuffs off and then kicked him where it hurts and knocked him out and took off. I went back to the church and that was where I found Jason."
"Found Jason what?" Carly asked, knowing there was more to it than that.
"I found Jason shot. The place was a mess. The ceiling was on the floor and the beams were broken. Jason was pinned under one with a bullet in his leg and in his shoulder."
Carly shook her head and said "Is that what took so long to get back?" Carly asked.
"Yes. It took Jason about 5 days to recover from it and be well enough for us to go get the kids. I had a friend of mine set them up with a job and keep an eye on them until we could get there."
"Is this what you guys wanted to talk about when you came to Jax's office that day?" She asked.
"Jason wanted to know what Jax knew of his brother and his involvement. We both knew that Jerry was involved but we didn't know that Claudia was. Jason was sure we just didn't have the proof. We found a recording of her and Devlin setting up the hit. Jason played it for sonny right before the party and you know the rest."
Carly looked down at her daughter and shook her head. "Why did you all keep this from me? This is my son and my life that was involved."
"Carly, look at how you are reacting now. IF you had found all of this out while you were still pregnant, you know you would have lost that little girl and possibly your own life. There was no way that Jason was going to take that risk. You know that Jason would not keep things from you just because he can. he was trying to protect you and your daughter." Sam explained.
"I know that he meant well but…" Carly started.
"Do you trust Jason?" Sam asked interrupting her. Carly looked up at Sam and said "Of course. More than anyone in my life." "Then trust that Jason did the right thing by you and this little one." Carly looked back down to her daughter and nodded her head.
Sam stood up and said "I know it will be hard but you need to try and get some rest. Do you need anything before I go? You sure you don't want me to call Jason?"
Carly shook her head and said "Michael needs him more than I do tonight. I have everything I need right here in this beautiful little girl."
She smiled down at her daughter. Sam steeled herself and forced a smile and them said "Ok, goodnight." "Sam" Carly called after she headed to the door.
Sam turned around and said "Yeah?" "Thank you. For everything." The two women shared a look of respect and Sam nodded her head. "Anytime."
Sam smiled. She made her way out the door and to the elevator. All the while not realizing that tears were streaming down her face.
Back in the room Carly looked down at her little girl and was thankful that she was holding her little miracle. Her pregnancy could have gone so wrong and so could have the birth but it didn't and she was going to focus on that. All of a sudden a thought dawned on her and went still. She looked to the door that Sam had just walked out of and felt a small part of her heart break "Tomorrow is the 8th." She whispered to herself.
The next morning Jason and Sonny walked to Carly's room and saw that mother and daughter were both awake. "Hey," Jason says as he walked into the room "How are you feeling?" "Much better." She smiled at her best friend and ex-husband. Sonny closes the door behind him and Carly asks "How is Michael? And I want the truth this time. Joss is here and we are both healthy so there is no reason to hide things from me anymore." She said matter of fact. Sonny and Jason both looked at her a little confused.
"I know everything. I even know a few things that you two don't know. Sam stopped by last night and I told her I wanted to know what has been going on and she told me. I wanted to hear it from her that is why she didn't call you, Jason. I know about Jerry and what happened in Mexico and Claudia sending him after my son. I know it all. So I want the truth. How is Michael?" Jason took a deep breath and said "He is still in a bit of chock I think. He's not really processing what happened."
Carly nodded and looked to Sonny "Don't worry about Michael." He said. "Jason and I will take care of everything and make sure that Michael will be ok. You just focus on getting better."
Carly looked down at her daughter and then looked to Jason "Do you want to hold your goddaughter?"
Jason smiled softly at her and walked over and cradled the little girl in his arms. Just then there was a knock on the door and Elizabeth stepped in. "Hey, sorry to interrupt but I have to check Carly's vitals." "Come on in." Sonny stepped out of the way and let her get to the machines.
Carly looked to the two men and said "Have either one of you talked to Sam yet today?" They both looked at her and shook their heads.
"I texted her last night and told her that I was…" he caught himself before he could reveal anything with Elizabeth in the room "working late and I would call her tomorrow. Why?" he asked confused. "So neither one of you have called her today and asked her how she is doing?" Carly asked. Jason got alarmed "Is Sam ok? Was she hurt?"
Carly shook her head and said "Sam is fine physically." Jason blew out a breath and relaxed a little.
"Why would I have called Sam?" Sonny asked.
"Oh, God." The three of them turned to Elizabeth as they heard her whisper.
"What? Is something wrong with Carly?" Sonny asked.
"It's the 8th." Liz said looking at Carly and then to the men.
"What?" Sonny said, not hearing her. "Today is November 8th, Sonny." Elizabeth said a little louder.
Jason felt his heart stop and looked down to the baby. "Sam was here last night talking to me and after she left is when I realized it. But not before I went on about how all I needed was my beautiful daughter and…" "Carly, I'm sure that Sam didn't see it that way." Elizabeth tried to say.
"I need to get to Sam." Jason softly handed the baby back to Carly and kissed her head.
"Jason, we have…" Sonny started to say but was cut off "It's going to have to wait. Carly I will stop by later." He headed for the door and walked out.
"Ok what the hell was that about?" Sonny asked.
"Seriously?" Elizabeth asked. Sonny looked at her and said "What?" Elizabeth laughed humorlessly and closed the chart and walked to the door "You know Sam and I may not be friends but I think it is pretty damn sad that I remember what today is and you don't." She said.
"What?" Sonny demanded.
"Sonny, today is the anniversary of yours and Sam's daughter's death." Carly said softly. Sonny felt like he had just been hit with bricks. He closed his eyes and hung his head. He had forgotten.
Sam had just sat down with her coffee when there was a knock at her door. She had gotten a message from Jason that he was going to go see Carly and then talk with Michael about last night. That was plenty for Sam to know that he had not remembered and she was honestly ok with that. With everything that was going on with Michael, he needed to focus his attention on that. And she wasn't sure she wanted to remember. She had to fight the strong urge to just drink herself into a stupor and numb the pain. As she opened the door she was surprised at who was behind it.
"Nikolas, what are you doing here?" she asked her cousin.
He brought his hands out from behind his back and reviled a beautiful bouquet of lilies. "I wanted to come by and see how you were doing today." He said with a sad smile. Sam returned his smile and accepted the flowers. He had remembered. She let him in and went to go and find a vase for the flowers.
When she walked back into the room she set the flowers in the middle of her coffee table. "Thank you for these. They are beautiful."
They sat down and Nikolas turned to her and said "You never answered my question. How are you doing?"
Sam sighed and said "I'm doing ok. With everything going on right now, it's a good distraction. I'm sure you heard all about last night." She said in hopes to change the subject.
"I did. And I have a pretty good idea of what really happened but that is not my concern right now. My concern is how my cousin is doing." Sam looked away and tried to fight off her tears.
Nikolas reached his hand out and grabbed hers. "You still miss her don't you?" Sam bit her lip and smiled a little "Every day. They say it is supposed to get better and I guess it is but not today." Sam finally let a tear slip down her cheek. "I mean how is it supposed to get better when every day I get up and I pass by my guest bedroom and it's not decorated the way a 5-year-old little girls room is supposed to be or when I pass it to go to bed and I'm not stopping in there to say goodnight to her. How is it supposed to get better when I feel it every day?" Nikolas scooted closer to her on the couch and brought her into his arms.
Sam sobbed against his chest as he softly ran his hands down her hair to try and sooth her the best he could. After a few minutes, she calmed down and pulled back "I'm so sorry. I…"
"Sam, stop. Do not apologize for letting yourself feel this." Sam wiped her eyes and reached for a tissue.
"I know that this time of year is hard on you too." She said thinking about Emily. Nikolas nodded his head and said "It is but it does not compare to your loss."
Sam smiled and said "I hadn't told anyone this, not even Jason but I was planning on asking her to be Lila's godmother. Jason was obviously going to be the godfather and I thought it would be nice to have them both bless my daughter. She was there for me a lot during the pregnancy and I had even decided to name the baby Lila Emily McCall. She helped out a lot after it happened too. I kind of wish I had gotten a chance to tell her that."
Nikolas took her hand in his and said "She was looking for you that night."
Sam looked up and said "What?"
"That is how we got separated. She told me about the fight between you and Liz and it made her realize that she had not been a very good friend to you those past few months. She had not been paying attention to the pain you were going through and she felt bad. She wanted to apologize to you."
Sam sighed and closed her eyes. Just another thing for her to feel bad about.
"I didn't tell you that to make you feel bad, I told you that because I knew that you and Emily had your problems but she still considered you a friend and was sorry for the way that she had been treating you." He said as if reading her mind.
Sam looked up and him and said "Thank you for telling me." Before anything else could be said there was another knock on the door. Sam wiped her face of the remaining tears and got up to go and answer it. When she opened the door she saw Jason standing there on the other side with a sad look on his face. By that look Sam knew that he had remembered what today was.
"I have to get to a meeting." Nikolas said as he got up and walked over to them. He hugged Sam and kissed her head "Love you." "Love you too. And thank you for the flowers. And everything else." Nik nodded and moved passed Jason patting him on the shoulder as he went.
Sam grabbed Jason's hand and pulled him into the apartment and shut the door. Before she could say anything Jason pulled her into his arms and wrapped them tight around her. Sam clung to him just as tightly as he buried his face into her hair. Jason pulled away and kissed her forehead and whispered against it "I am so sorry."
Sam closed her eyes and tried to keep her tears at bay and said "Please don't be. With everything going on right now I did not expect…"
"That's not an excuse, Sam." Jason tried to say.
"Your right. It's not, it's reality. I don't expect the world to stop just because… today is what today is. Michael needs your focus right now and I know that." Sam said putting both of her hands on his face to make sure he was looking at her.
"Right now Michael is fine and I know you are not so don't try and say you are." Sam really wanted to fight what she was feeling. She knew that Michael was more important right now. She shook her head and tried to keep them at bay but when Jason put his forehead to hers she couldn't do it anymore.
Jason held her close as her tears fell. Jason led her over to the couch and they sat down and Jason pulled her close. Sam laid her head on his shoulder and let her tears fall freely. When it came to her daughter, Jason was the only one who could make the hurt minimal. Just by holding her, she was always able to calm down and be at ease. Sam wiped her eyes and pulled her head off of his shoulder and said "I know that you and Sonny have a lot going on right now, Jason. Please don't…"
"Nothing is more important to me right now that being here. And I am so sorry that I even let myself forget." "Jason it is ok…" Sam tried to reassure him.
"No, it's not. I'm sorry but it's not. No matter what is going on right now, I should have remembered this."
"Jason, I now that you would have. But I am honestly ok with the fact that you didn't have to. So thank you for coming to me when you did." She softly touched his face.
Jason closed his eyes and Sam knew that he felt guilty but she really wished he didn't. Jason took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He stood up from the couch and held his hand out to her. "Come on."
Sam looked up at him in shock. "What?" "We have somewhere to be." He said.
Sam shook her head and aid "Jason, you need to make sure that everything is ok with Michael. You don't have to be with me today."
Jason nodded his head and said "I know I don't but I want to. It's one day and this one day is about one person only. And I want to see her." A part of Sam really wanted to tell him no. she knew that Michael and Sonny needed him but the look in his eyes said that he meant what he said. Sam took a deep breath and grabbed his hand.
Jason and Sam walked hand in hand into the cemetery. They both knew the way to her by heart. There were times when they were separated that Jason would find himself on a walk and he would end up in front of the cemetery. Lila and Danny were the only ones he knew that were buried here. All of his family was buried in the Quartermaine crypt. As they walked up to the head stone that said Baby Girl McCall, Jason felt his hand tighten around Sam's. Sam squeezed his back. It had been 5 years since that painful day but to the both of them still felt like it was yesterday. Jason remembered every second of that day. From the moment Sam collapsed in the chapel to the moment she went home. He had been so afraid that after the baby was gone, Sam would not be able to find the strength to fight. But when she had woken up, he was both relieved and worried. He knew he had to tell her about the baby but he had hoped to give her some time. But when she had asked if the crying baby was hers he knew he had to tell her.
He had been so worried that Sam would shut down and in a way she had. He had to fight for her to come home with him and stay with him. But after it all started to settle and their feelings were getting stronger and stronger to fight, Jason had to let her go. He had not wanted his life to touch her in any way. But after less than a week of her being out of the house, he knew he couldn't go on that way. Jason kneeled down next to his daughters grave and placed the flowers they had stopped to get by her head stone. Sam did the same and touched her marbled plate. "Hi, baby." Sam whispered. Jason closed his eyes at the sadness he heard in her voice. He knew there would never be anything that would take that away. The guilt pulled at Jason every time he thought of Lila and Jake. He knew what Sam thought. He knew she figured that Jake was somehow a replacement in his eyes but that was not the case. As hard as it was to walk away from Jake, Jason knew that he would never have been able to do that with Lila.
"I'm sorry." Jason whispered down to the stone. "I promised you something and I know that I broke it. I wasn't there for your mom like I should have been. And I know that I let you down by doing that and I am so sorry."
Sam was shocked as she heard him talking. She had not expected him to do that. "I know that I probably won't be able to ever make up for the hurt I caused her. But I can promise that I am going to do everything in my power to make up for it. No matter how long it takes."
Sam closed her eyes and let her tears fall. She wasn't sure how she felt. She had wanted to hear those words for so long and now that she had, she wasn't sure she could believe them. She knew in her heart the Jason was it for her. But how was she supposed to trust that she was it for Jason. She thought she was before and he fell for Elizabeth.
Sam felt his hand at her face and she opened her eyes to look into his firm ones. "I'm sorry. I haven't told you that yet and I know that it is late but Sam I am so sorry for what I caused and for what I did to you." Her tears were falling faster and she was trying her hardest to keep them under control but it was a losing battle. Jason used his thumb to wipe them away as he continued.
"I know that you thought the two of you didn't mean anything to me but that is not true. I was so ashamed of what I had done that I didn't think I should be forgiven. So I just pushed and pushed you away and allowed you to think it was hate and I know that I shouldn't have. I should have told you the truth and I know that know but I thought that it would be too hard on you. And I know now that it was wrong."
Sam shook her head and said "You were not alone in those mistakes, Jason."
"No Sam. Everything that happened is my fault. And I am done hiding behind that. I made decisions for you and pushed you away. All that hurt I felt I deserved to feel. I promised Lila that I would always be there for you and I wasn't. I broke that trust and I know that. But I will do anything I have to to earn it back."
"Jason, I do trust you. I now that there was hurt and anger but we both got over it. I have never trusted anyone the way I do you. We are both different people. We can't keep living in the past or we will not be able to move forward. What happened between us was supposed to happen. I honestly believe that. If we had stayed together we would have done a lot more damage and I don't think that we would have been able to come back from it like we are able to now. The people we are now are stronger. I know I am. As hard as it was I found out that I was able to survive without you. There was a time where you were literally all I had. That is why I reacted the way that I did. It hurt that I didn't have you in my life anymore. It hurt that I thought you had completely forgotten." Sam finished looking down to the stone.
"I never did. I just convinced myself that it didn't matter anymore because of all that I had done. I didn't think there was any coming back from it. I didn't allow myself to feel it. When we started talking again it all started coming back full force. How easy it is to be with you. And I know that I took you for granted and that was a mistake. I know that I should have appreciated what you were to me more. And now that I know what it is like to be without you I can say without a doubt I will never do that again." Sam smiled softly at him and leaned into his touch.
"I know that you probably aren't ready to hear this yet but I need you to know that I love you." Jason said softly. Sam sucked in a breath at his admission. She had not expected to ever hear those words from hi again. Not after everything they had been through.
"You were always the best part of me, Sam. You made me a better person. You made me see myself differently and I didn't think that was possible. I love you so much." He whispered with a soft look in his eye.
Sam felt the tears well in her eyes again. She had always loved him. As had as she tried not to the best she could do was just convince herself that she didn't. But she always knew she did. And she always knew she would. Sam took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Jason rarely let his vulnerability show but she could see it in his eyes right now.
She smiled softly and said "I love you, too." Jason let lose the breath he had been holding and leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was soft and tender and deep. As they pulled back Jason Sat down and pulled Sam into his arms as they sat next to their daughter and just let themselves be with their angel.