Tails the Lawyer 2

Nothing like a good (or bad, depends on how you look at it) sequel to an epic (or horribly written, also relative) story.

…Yeah I got nothing else to say. Time to write? Maaaaayyyybbeeee? Or for your case, to read.

Prologue: Deciding not to Skip the Prologue

Tails put on a suit. Again…Ick. Suits. But ever since the infamous trial came up involving huge laser cannons, pies (not of the fruit filled variety amazingly), spit takes, and the interrupting author which totally broke the flow of the story, Tails decided he liked being a lawyer…to a point of course (Honestly, who wants to be a full time lawyer?).

As the author realized he was starting to overuse parenthetical asides rather than sentence fragments, Tails straightened himself up and went outside. Perfect, sterling weather. And the weather forecaster could actually predict the weather again, which was a good thing. As he started his engine up in his newly rebuilt plane, Tails was about to take off, when Sonic came out of nowhere as he always did and started to chat Tails up.

"Hey Tails, got room for one more in there?" Sonic smiled as he jumped onto the nose of the plane.

"Hey careful!" Tails laughed out loud. "I just waxed it!"

"Because wax is so vital to the plane isn't it?" Sonic raised his eyebrow and pressed his nose against the glass windshield. Tails giggled a little.

"Maybe it is. Maybe I just never told you about it."

Sonic did a spin jump and landed in the back seat. "Well you can tell me all about wax on the way to the courthouse."

As the plane soared into the air, Shadow was already waiting on the marble steps of the courthouse. He leaned against the pillar and thought about the things to be thought of. Such as Tails's superiority in the courtroom. It was amazing how good of a pro bono lawyer Tails was, whenever he decided to take a case…or perhaps it was just how bad the other lawyers were that astonished him.

"Honestly…some of these dudes need to go back to law school and learn some…basics."

*Flashback*

The defense table had 3 lawyers on its side. The prosecution? One. Yet all three members of the defense, quivered in fear, as the young, but skilled fox utilized a certain tool that many, including the three, had never really bothered to learn. They managed to get through law school by cutting corners, but it turned out that out in the real world, that one tool was desperately needed, and in retrospect, a very pivotal piece in any argument.

The three defense lawyers had forgotten to learn one thing: basic logic.

"This knife was at the scene of the crime. It had blood on it. The victim's throat was cut. The two blood samples from the victim and knife matched…so the victim died from getting his throat cut." Tails spoke with amazing clarity, even when having to present such a fierce, complex argument against the defense.

"Ooh! How does he do it?" The jury murmured in awe.

"He must get it from Sonic! Eeeee!" A certain weasel could be seen on the jury whispering to the other members.

"…Therefore the defense's argument that the victim died a natural death…well…is wrong."

And the crowd was flung into absolute pandemonium. What a shocking conclusion!

*End flashback*

"…Stupid…"

As the flashback ended, Tails's plane touched down into the parking lot, which was now legal because of the "special permit" Tails had gotten.

"You're a nanosecond late." Shadow smirked a little at his new friends Tails and Sonic.

"Well, last time, I was a millisecond late, so my time has improved." Tails shot back jokingly.

"Well—"

"Oh come on! Let's go in!" Sonic yelled as he rushed into the courthouse across the stone tiles, setting them ablaze.

"…He has to stop doing that." Shadow frowned as he took a fire extinguisher from beside him.

"Yeah, I'm afraid someday we're going to get in trouble for that…but that's Sonic for you! And even if it did happen, I'd get him out of it as best as I could."

"How noble of you." Shadow murmured as he sprayed the fire and walked along to the entrance of the courtroom. When the two finally arrived where Sonic was, the three huddled together and went over their plans to mess with the prosecution like they normally did.

Inside the courtroom…

"Hydrogen bombs?"

"Pointless filibustering?"

"CIRCUS CLOWNS?"

Three prosecution lawyers sat at their table, quivering in fear of the possible antics that they feared Tails might unleash upon them. They had heard the stories. They had prepared as much as they could. And yet everything and anything that sounded like a door creaking would send a chill up the lawyers' spines, in anticipation of the onslaught of unknown terrors that would soon be upon them.

And then a voice.

"You have the right to shut up. Anything that comes out of your sorry little mouth can and most definitely will be used against you in court. You may have a lamebrain attorney. If you're dirt poor, we'll get you either a really bad one or…"

"We can get you Tails!"

The crowd broke out in chuckles at the horrible play off of the Miranda rights. Tails and Sonic hid a wide smile. Even the judge on his stand was laughing.

"Oh no! Bad jokes the judge likes that'll we'll be forced to listen to!" the three prosecution lawyers exclaimed in dismay. Their fate was sealed. How long they would survive? Only time would tell…

"Oh ho! That was funny!" The judge was heartily laughing at the joke, quite appreciative of the break from having to listen to obnoxious rhetoric all day.

"It wasn't really all that funny actually. People who do observational comedy! Now THAT'S funny. Like when they go 'I think cars would taste like pizza to ants' see…"

Horrible satire? This could not end well…meanwhile, the laughter echoing through the room was slowly disintegrating the prosecution and their already dim heads.

"Or even Shadow for instance. He does dark comedy."

"Ooh, he got shot without life insurance. His family must be devastated."

More jovial outbreaks, piercing like bullets.

"Hey, even economists can be funnier than me, and you know that means I'm not that funny because economic jokes aren't really in DEMAND!"

A familiar, but painful 1 minute later…

"Hmm…" the judge looked back from Tails and his "entourage" and the prosecution table. "Well…I guess the defense wins by default."

And the crowd went wild. Typical. Another case closed.

"Oh hee hee! So funny!" A VERY familiar weasel was amok again, in the crowd this time.

Later than evening…

"Bye Shadow! See you later!"

"Bye kid."

"See you slow-mo!"

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Guys…not again."

"Hmph. See you Tails."

As Sonic and Tails waved goodbye to Shadow, they walked back into the house to hang around and eat some dinner.

"Got the dogs?"

"Got the chili?"

"I asked you first keed." Sonic walked towards the stove and started to boil the water. Intriguingly, Sonic's house had burnt down from an unknown arsonist, so he was in Tails's house. Why is the author giving you such a plot revealing fact directly rather than letting the characters act it out like he normally does? The author is a tad tired and crazy, and also explains why he has know officially broken down the fourth wall. Oops.

And then the chapter abruptly ended with the notion that someone was staring inside the window!

O.o Read on and enjoy the suspense…ok I guess you can't really do that. But you can enjoy the bad economics jokes I tell! I believe in the Laffer curve after all! XD

With summer around, I should actually be starting up writing again. Weeee!