Chapter One: The Index Card Savior
"What a retarded drama!" Naruto yelled, chucking his remote control at the television screen.
Luckily for the television, Naruto had missed completely in his own furious state of mind. The beige flowers on the wallpaper, however, had unfortunately suffered the cataclysmic blow.
"This would never happen in real life!" he continued ranting. "I spend three months straight watching this TV series, only to find that this woman can't even take a little pressure? I mean, when you get caught cheating, and your boyfriend asks what you were doing, you don't go, 'Uhh…well…you see…um…'"
"Unbelievable," Naruto grunted as he walked towards his bedroom to get changed, disregarding the television that was still blaring the theme song at the end of the episode.
Inside his messy bedroom, the blond searched for some clean clothes to go to work in. The task proved quite difficult with what was supposed to be inside his closet, scattered across the entire bedroom floor in disarray.
"Stupid drama made me get up at six in the morning just to watch a pointless ending…" Naruto continued to rage, still in the orange jumpsuit he slept in, as he turned his whole collection of crumpled clothing upside down.
" 'No! It's not what you think! It's um…' How dense does she think he is? I mean I know he's a dropout and all, but…ISN'T THERE A SINGLE CLEAN SHIRT IN THIS PILE?!" Naruto exploded amid his mockery.
"Ah, here's one…"
He quickly unclothed himself and slapped on a pair of dark grey slacks and a crisp white shirt. He checked his appearance in his long mirror, with a full-body view.
"Perfect…" he mumbled as he buttoned one of his last buttons.
He turned around to check his back, when he suddenly realized, "Wha-"
The back of his shirt might as well have been his grandpa's forehead. The mass of wrinkles was appalling, but that's what you get when you use your floor as your closet.
He took a brief moment to consider whether or not he should get out the old ironing board. He stared at the clock that seemed to tick even faster than before.
"Seven o'clock…the commute will take at least half an hour…do I have any clients to see today…?" Naruto tried to recall his weekly schedule.
"Today is Thursday…Thursday Thursday Thursday…" he closed his eyes and rubbed his left eyebrow in an attempt to avert the migraine he knew was inevitable.
"Sakura Haruno!" He yelled suddenly, recalling the name of a client he was supposed to meet at 7:20.
Knowing he couldn't beat the clock, he figured he at least had to come to the appointment with clean clothes, late or not. He quickly rammed open the doors to his closet and pulled out the iron and ironing board – the only two things he kept in his closet. Once everything was plugged in, he almost ripped his shirt off, dislodged the victim onto the flat surface, and switched the device of torture to maximum heat.
All seemed under control until…
"SHOOT!"
Naruto immediately unplugged the iron and fingered the dark burned spot on the breast pocket of his shirt. Why did life have to be so difficult?
In his head, he quickly considered all his other options…
New shirt? No…this was the only one that didn't smell like instant noodles and sour milk…
Buy a new shirt on the way? No…Naruto was broke and his next paycheck didn't come until the end of the month – three more weeks away.
Ditch the appointment? No! Naruto was sick of his godfather's dating arrangements for him, and needed to try to find a girlfriend on his own. This could be his only chance for a while…
Desperate for a solution, he looked over at his desk and saw two things that could benefit him – index cards and tape. It was a stretch, but maybe no one would notice. He ran over to the desk, grabbed an index card, ripped it to the approximate size of the burn mark, and patched it onto the breast pocket of his shirt with some tape – the blank white side of the card visible.
He quickly checked himself once again in his mirror. He looked absolutely outlandish. But good enough, that from a quick glance, no one would notice that there was an index card taped to his shirt.
"Good," he said, and quickly ran to grab his briefcase by the front door of his apartment.
Before leaving, he quickly yelled to his godfather like he did every morning, "Jiraiya! I'm leaving now!"
He heard the usual muffled, sleepy sound in response come from behind the door of the guest bedroom.
Slamming the door shut, Naruto dashed down three flights of stairs in an attempt to reach his bus stop before his only means of transportation left.
Many eyes were drawn to him as he frantically ran down the busy street in sloppy business clothes – his shirt not even tucked in. He was quite a spectacle. Watching him flop down the street was like watching a frazzled duck, recklessly trying to find its way through the city.
Finally, the destination was in sight. And perfect timing too, since the bus was just pulling up the curb to pick up its passengers. A line of commuters was just starting to board the vehicle, when Naruto stepped in the back of the queue.
Naruto's panting proved to be quite resonant. The young lady just in front of him in line turned around to stare at him for a while, taking note of his shaggy appearance. In response, he couldn't think of anything to do but stare back when he caught sight of her pink hair. She instantly knew what he was staring at and felt self-conscious. Turning around, she boarded the bus in a hurry.
It was not until later that Naruto would realize how much he would crave that bubblegum atop her head.