I didn't really know when everything started to fall apart. One day I was with Blaine and he was being extremely distant and I didn't understand why until now.
I was walking into the choir room and I saw Blaine..with another guy. He wasn't cheating per say but he just looked so much happier with this other guy. It was a weird feeling, almost like I was being betrayed in a way.
"Oh..Hey Blaine. I was going to ask if you wanted to get coffee after glee but I can see you busy." I tried so hard to hide the hurt in my voice but I don't think I succeeded at all. The look he gave me was almost comical.
"Hey Kurt. This is Sebastian. He's the new lead for the Warblers. I was just congratulating him on becoming the lead." Blaine looked almost smug about his new friend Sebastian.
"Oh, well congratulations Sebastian. I'll just leaving you two to celebrate." I turned on my heal walking swiftly away from my boyfriend and his new friend.
~.~.~
I didn't suspect anything was going on until I saw them at the Lima Bean. Sebastian looked like he was holding Blaine's hand. I didn't know what hurt more: the fact that Blaine might be cheating or that he made this more public than our relationship. I slowly walked over to them to figure out what was going on.
"Blaine?" I looked at him and he shot me a guilty look. "What's going on?" But before he could answer Sebastian pipped in.
"Kurt right? Well I can gladly say that the one and only Blaine Anderson is in fact my boyfr-" I ran away before he could finish that statement with tears streaming down my face.
When I got home I headed straight to my room and nearly slammed the door. How could he do this to me? He's my Blaine or at least he was. What happened? I always knew I wasn't good enough for him. I felt horrible the rest of the night. I cried and then my phone started to ring with Teenage Dream which meant that Blaine was calling him. I decided to pick it up but knowing it wouldn't matter at all.
"Hello?" I said through tears.
"Oh Kurt. Are you alright?" Blaine actually sounded concerned but why I haven't the slightest idea.
"Oh, I'm just peachy. I mean what else could go wrong today other than finding out the man I'm in love with is cheating on me with someone from his old school. The same school he left to be with me and to see me everyday. Other than that everything is just dandy Blaine." I knew that this wouldn't really help but it made me feel slightly better.
"Kurt..I'm sorry. I'm not exactly cheating on you. I'm just confused and all I told Sebastian was that I liked him not that we were dating. Please believe when I say if I didn't want to be with you than I wouldn't be with you. Okay?"
"Blaine. I don't know what you want from me and if you actually loved me like you say you do you wouldn't have feelings for other guys. To be honest I don't know why you think this is not cheating. You were holding his hand. I guess I was just never enough for you right? Well problem solved Blaine. You have your chance now to walk away and never look back." Before I heard an answer I hung up. I knew what I was going to do.
School the next day was tense because of the classes I did have with Blaine he completely ignored me and I honestly had no idea if we were still together or not. I was glad by the time glee came around I knew what I had to do. When Mr. Schue walked in, I walked over to him and asked if I could share a song today and of course he said yes.
I was standing in the middle of the room. "I am just hoping this song might wake someone up and explain how exactly how I feel." With that I started singing.
Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen oooh
To the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release
Oh the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't listen
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind
You should have known -
Oh
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm free now and my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own all 'cause you won't listen
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on my mind
You should have know
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't
Listen
To the song here in my heart
A melody I start
But I will complete -
Oh, Oh
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find my own
My own
I looked at Blaine throughout the song hoping he would understand that I can't go on like this anymore. After glee he walked up to me.
"Kurt that song was really beautiful." He looked sincere and gave me a little smile.
"Blaine. You have a choice. It's either me or him. You can't have us both and I love you but that doesn't mean I want to share you with another guy when you get a little bored of me. So you decide. I'll give you a day but if you don't tell me your choice by then, then I am honestly sorry but I will make the decision." I walk straight to my car and went home. I was hoping Blaine could make a decision but if he didn't then I can't go on like this...I won't.
The next day was one of the longest days of my life. I was sick with fear about what Blaine would decide. I went the whole day without eating because I was so terrified. I walked into the choir room just before glee club started and I saw Blaine with Sebastian.
I walked up to him to say one thing. "I guess I have my answer." I started to turn away from him but he caught my arms.
"Kurt just listen to me please?" He looked broken but I only nodded in response. He continued "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, I have a song for you and you tell me what my answer is." He then started singing.
Sometimes It's hard to make things clear
Or know when to face the truth
And I know when the moment is here
I'll open my heart and show you inside
My love has no pride
I feel with you I've got nothing to hide
So open your eyes and see who I'am
And not who you want for me to be
I am only myself, myself
I don't wanna lose you now
We're gonna get through somehow
I don't wanna lose you now or ever
'Cause baby I've finally found
The courage to stand my ground
But if you want me, I'll be around forever
We all make mistakes
We all lose our way
But we stood the test of time and I hope
That's the way it will stay
It's all up to you, to tell me to go
'Cause it won't be me to walk away
When you're all that I know
And I know…
I don't wanna lose you now
We're gonna get through somehow
I don't wanna lose you now or ever
'Cause baby I've finally found
The courage to stand my ground
But if you want me, I'll be around forever
Blaine took my hand and pulled my close and whispered "I love you with everything I have and I need you and I can't lose you. Please, my love forgive me for being so incredibly stupid" He kissed me with so much passion and love I nearly exploded with love.
"Blaine. I love you with my whole heart. Of course I forgive you. You are my best friend and my love and everything I could have asked for."
I knew then that we could make our relationship work no matter what. I fell in love with Blaine Anderson all over again