I'm not really sure why I wanted to do a whacked out story like this, but I did, and you WILL enjoy it!
Mwuahahahahahaha!
I don't own Naruto...d'uh!
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, Deedley dee! There they are a standing in a row!" The loud singing interrupted Gaara and Kankuro's chat. They stood on the far north gates of Sunagakure, watching the sunset. Kankuro looked ready to punch whoever the singer was when a small woman, flying on a broomstick appeared in front of them. Kankuro took a fighting stance, as did Gaara.
"Kazekage-sama!" Some guards watching in horror as the young woman disappeared along with the two men.
"Well, now you can't attack me." The two men were flailing around. The woman, who's piercing gray eyes stared hard at them, laughed. He black hair flowed out behind, as if caught in some wind, unfelt by the others. She had a star tattoo on her left cheek and her lips were painted blue.
"Don't fret darlings. You're not falling and I'm not here to hurt you. In fact!" she held up a slender finder.
"I'm here to help!" She poked Kankuro on the cheek and in puff of smoke he disappeared. She did the same to Gaara, but he wasn't going without a fight. He lashed out at her, but she caught him in his side with a sharp knife.
"Naughty boy!" was all he heard before he blacked out.
"Ah! It's such a nice day out!" I said to Cory as we walked along the city streets. The sun was bright and there was a light breeze. I sighed again as Cory just shrugged. He was always so emo! I grunted as I watched my best friend frown, His tan skin crinkling at the action. His dark blue hair fell in front of his dazzling green eyes.
"You're hopeless!" I threw my hands up in exasperation. As we passed by an ally I heard mewling. I couldn't resist! I loved animals, any kind of animals and when I heard one in pain I HAD to help it!
I stared down at the cute little black cat at my feet. He was mewling desperately over the body of a smaller feline. I picked up the black one and bent down to inspect the injured kitten. His coat was tan and a sandy color. He had a bright red tuft of fur in between his ears and black markings. All in all it was an odd looking cat. His side though, was bloodied.
"Just leave it. Its already dead." I huffed at Cory's words and, putting the black cat on my shoulder, I picked the tan one up gingerly.
"It's okay little guy." I scratched the black cat under his chin. "I'll fix your friend." I ran home leaving Cory in my dust.
After an hour of bandaging and running around my apartment in a state of panic I managed to get the tan kitten stable and wrapped up. His wound hadn't been too big so there wasn't much harm done. I put him in a small box filled with fluffy sheets so he could rest. The black cat made himself comfortable in my lap as I sat on the couch watching TV.
(NOTE: italics = Kankuro
bold = gaara)
Gaara, I hope you're all right.
I'm fine. Gaara's deep voice rumbled back.
What the hell is going on?
Seems like we're cats, in a VERY strange world and this woman is taking care of us.
What the hell was that woman on the broom stick?
I don't know, but I have no chakra what so ever. I'm just a plain fucking cat dude. And by the looks of it so are you.
Gaara mewled a little and limped out of the box. I watched as he stood there, almost in shock.
"Kitty!" I picked him up, careful of his cut. I snuggled him close, but he was struggling very hard to get out of my grasp, so I sat him back down on his bed.
"You are the strangest kitten I've ever seen." I said to the small tan kitten.
"Oh! I guess I should give you two names! I couldn't find any tags and since you're not micro chipped you don't have an owner, and I can't put you in the shelter either, you two are FAR TOO ADORABLE!" I squealed and the small kitten seemed a bit annoyed… but cats couldn't look annoyed… could they? I patted his head only to have him hiss at me.
"Well, i'll call you Rusty since I can't call you Sandy, that's a girls name. and for the black one… um, Midnight seems a bit cliché, as does Shadow." The woman appeared deep in thought as she pondered a name for her newly found friend. The black cat stared up at her with pleading green eyes.
Please don't call me something stupid… like RUSTY.
Shut up Kankuro! Kankuro kitty did a little snort as his brother hissed at him. The woman snapped her fingers.
"I'll call you Kade!" The woman picked up the cat and snuggled him to her chest.
Oh my god boobs… Kankuro drooled a little at being shoved into the woman's cleavage. Gaara rolled his eyes. She held the cat out at arms length studying him.
"My name's Rika! I know it seems silly talking to cats but… I don't make friends easily and the couple of friends I do have don't talk much. But! I am really good with animals, especially cats!" Rika explained, once again hugging the cat to her chest. A knock resounded on the door.
(NOTE: I didn't really like it being in first person so i changed the view, it will be in 3rd person from now on!)
"Oh! That must be Kane!" Rika set Kankuro gently next to Gaara before running to the door.
She's not that bad, Rusty.
My god if you keep calling me that I'm going to kill you when this is over.
Gaara could hear Kankuro snicker.
"Kane, Kane! Come meet the cutest kittens ever!" Rika appeared back into the room, dragging a very bored looking male with her. Kane, as she called him, had short and shaggy black hair and bright blue eyes. He was tan and pretty well built, his personality though seemed a bit… dangerous.
"Why do you constantly take in strays?" He glared at her as she picked Kankuro up. A pout formed on her lips.
"Because… I feel their pain of being just a stray, just a burden. I want them to be happy, I want to show them the love they didn't know." She rubbed her cheek on Kankuro's whiskered one. He lifted up a paw and batted softly at her nose, mewling quietly as if to comfort her. She immediately broke into an over-joyed grin.
"AWWWWW, you're so fucking adorable!" she put Kankuro down and went back over to this Kane character. Gaara watched him closely, he didn't like the look that man gave Rika whenever she turned her back. The man reminded Gaara of him in his younger days, blood thirsty and acting only on instinct.
Why does she hang out with this jerk?
I agree, that man is no good.
I wish he'd leave, he gives me the creeps. Gaara nodded in agreement. They sat next to each other, studying the woman interacting with the man. There was no doubt she wasn't bad looking. She wore baggy pants and a huge sweatshirt that was so long it could have been a dress. She had curly brown hair that was down to her shoulder blades and a little shaggy looking. She was constantly pushing it out of her pale face. Her lips were a beautiful red color, but her eyes. Gaara watched her eyes intensely. They flickered in color and he couldn't figure out why. One moment they were green then they turned blue, then grey then brown. The change was subtle, but at the same time, it was glaringly obvious. Most of the time though, he noticed they were a dull lavender color, light in color yet crisp and deep.
Kane reached out a hand and curled his fingers around her arm. Gaara snapped back to his senses. He was so busy taking in the woman's looks that he wasn't paying attention to the conversation.
"Rika, stop denying me. You and I both know I'm the best you'll ever get." Kane pulled the helpless woman closer to him. Her eyes were wide with fear.
"Don't deny me." His lips met hers and Gaara couldn't help himself. He arched his back and hissed at the intruder. Rika pushed away, fighting for her arm back. The man gripped her tighter and pulled her into another forceful kiss, forcing his tongue into her mouth. She bit down on the intruding appendage. He pushed her back in shock.
"Kane, I told you before, I don't want you like that. Stop hurting me!" She tore her arm out of his grip, her eyes flashed a bright red for a split second. Before Kane could grab a hold of her a second time she bolted into the kitchen.
"Rika!" he ran into the next room, almost immediately backing out, his hands held up in surrender. Rika was brandishing a very large knife.
"Leave. NOW!" She growled.
"I tried to be your friend and show you how to be like a normal human being but all you want is sex! I'm not going to be used by you anymore. Get the hell out of my apartment before I send you out in PIECES!" She screamed the last word and he bolted out of the door.
"I'll have you one way or another bitch." He murmured before slamming the door. Rika's anger faded so fast that it was like lightening vanishing. She managed to set the knife on the table before collapsing onto the floor sobbing. Her whole body was shaking from the force of her crying. Kankuro slowly approached her, then rubbed himself against one of her legs. Kankuro gave his brother a glaring look. Gaara trotted over as well and stared up at her with his big pale green eyes. Rika looked at the two kittens. She gave them a small smile. Gaara let out a very small, very raspy and high pitched mew.
Ahahahahahahahahahaha!
SHUT UP KANKURO!
You sound like SUCH a wuss! Gaara was about to retort but he was picked up and shoved into something soft.
"Thank you." She whispered softly, picking up Kankuro as well. She cuddled them both tightly to her breast. Gaara was ready to fight to be free of her grip when he heard the rapid thumping in the young woman's chest slow.
Wha…what is that?
It's her heart beat. She's finally calming down.
Her … heart? Shouldn't it beat faster if she's around me? Why isn't she afraid?
You're a cat Gaara. You're cuddly and cute. She's calmed by your presence.
Calmed? Gaara looked up at the girls peaceful face as she closed her eyes and lost herself in the small bodies against her. The small tan kitten began purring, his pleasure vibrating through her chest. She giggled.
Are…are you PURRING?
I can't stop!
Aw! Gaara has a crush!
Shut up! It's not my fault. Kankuro gave a small kitten snort. Rika kissed Kankuro on his fluffy cheek. He began purring as well. Rika laughed aloud, loving the feeling of the pleased kittens on her. Eventually she stood, setting the kittens down.
"I don't have any kitten food right now, so I'll make you some chicken and rice which will be easier on your small stomachs." She went into the kitchen and began taking out the dishes to cook. Gaara trotted after her, Kankuro followed as well. They sat in the door, watching her intently. She would glance at them every few minutes.
"You guys sure are weird for cats. What to help me cook?" She bent down to their level. Kankuro leaped onto her should and perched there, looking smugly at Gaara. He growled a little.
"Don't be jealous. Come on." She picked the growling Gaara up and set him on the counter next to the chopping board.
"You can watch from here little guy." He watched intently as she chopped some chicken for him and Kankuro and some vegetables for herself, then she tossed them in separate pans and waited for them to simmer. She took out a pot and started boiling rice. After all was done she took out two small bowls and spooned some chicken and rice into them. After putting the bowls with food on the floor she went to go fix herself a plate. Kankuro had leapt off her shoulder to devour the food that was set out. Gaara however, stayed on the counter watching Rika.
"Hey little guy, go eat." She ruffled the fur on his head.
"You're so cute! It's amazing how wise your eyes look though. Such a peculiar cat." She pet him one more time then sat on the couch to eat her food in front of the tv. After dinner she went into her room while Gaara and Kankuro stayed on the couch watching tv.
What a boring show! Kankuro leapt onto the side table and pushed one of the channel buttons with a small black paw until he found a channel he liked then settled back onto the couch.
Rika came out of her room in very little clothing. Gaara could hear Kankuro growl with pleasure. He had to admit, he was intrigued as well. The young woman was very pale. Her booty shorts and a very low cut bra revealed almost everything. She was gorgeous, the clothes she was wearing before did her no justice. Her breasts were full and perky, her waist curved in then flared out into nice full hips and her legs looked long and lean, muscles bunching beneath them as she walked. She stood in front of the couch, bending over and turning the off the television. Kankuro nearly had a little kitty nose bleed.
Dude. That ASS. Look at that! So perky and round and and…
Please don't disrespect our host like that. But Gaara was having a hard time controlling himself as well. He may have only been at cat, but he could still feel himself becoming aroused. He let out a deep meow. Rika turned to the two kittens.
"You must be so tired! Come on, let's go to bed!" She picked the two up and carried them off to her room. She fell asleep curled up with the two kittens sleeping on her.
Kankuro and Gaara bolted off the bed.
"WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU IN MY BED? NAKED?" Rika was shrieking. Gaara looked down and realized she was right. They were both naked. She threw the sheets at them then ran out of the room screaming.
"I'm calling the cops!" Kankuro ran after her after wrapping a sheet around his waist.
"Wait wait wait!" He said, grabbing her from behind and picking her up.
"We're not intruders!" He said, trying to calm the flailing girl.
"You were in my bed and you are still NAKED!" She tried fighting his steel grip. Gaara stood in front of her, her lean figure stilling for a moment. Her eyes landed on the wound still gracing his side.
"Y-y-y-you!" She was quiet for a bit.
"Rusty?" She choked out. She looked up at Kankuro.
"Kade?" She touched his cheek.
"Heh, my name's actually Kankuro." He smiled down at her.
"Oh my god I'm so embarrassed! I gave you two such cutesy names and you're not cutesy at all! You two are handsome!" she blushed insanely.
"Holy shit did I say that out loud?" Kankuro grinned down at her.
"What's his name?" Rika pointed to Gaara.
"That's my younger brother Gaara."
"Younger? He looks older."
"You're very blunt aren't you?" Gaara's deep voice resonated through her bones. She began to giggle uncontrollably.
"Oh my god! That voice! With that little meow?" She laughed full out. She was clutching her sides. Kankuro dropped her and she fell to the floor shaking with laughter. She sat up suddenly.
"Why were you cats?" She asked, looking up at the two. Kankuro couldn't answer. He was drooling at the very inviting view of her cleavage. She realized the distraction.
"Oh my god you're both still naked!" She rushed into her room and ran out carrying some clothes.
"Put these on! I'm going to go get dressed!" She rushed back into her room. The two men put on the clothing. Gaara had black pants and a tight black t shirt while Kankuro was wearing blue jeans and a "Stick that in your juice box and SUCK IT" t shirt.
They turned to the giggling that was coming from the other side of the room.
"You two look so silly! From cats to men. Ha! I'm writing that down! That'd be a great band name." She began searching for some paper. She wore a similar outfit to what she wore yesterday. Baggy shirt, baggy pants.
"Can't find any paper… oh well! Wanna fuck?" She stared at the two dumbstuck boys with a huge grin on her face. Kankuro fainted right there and Gaara growled deep within his chest.
"Just kidding!" She laughed, poking Kankuro to wake him up.
"Come on pervert, wake up!" she rolled him over. He was still out cold. She looked back up at the red head. Heaving a sigh she took seat on the red heads older brother, his back seeming far more comfortable than the couch at the moment.
"Is that hair color natural?" Her small voice asked Gaara.
"Yes."
"When'd you get that tattoo?"
"It's a scar."
"Why are you so pale? Are you a vampire?"
"A what?" Gaara was becoming annoyed with all the questions.
"Why were you cats? How did you get that wound? Why were you naked? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you work out?" She kept rambling and Gaara sent a glare her way that could have turned water to ice. She snapped her mouth shut at the glare.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to cross a line." She stared at her feet speaking almost inaudibly. Gaara cursed at himself mentally. Kankuro groaned and rolled over, taking Rika with him. She squealed with laughter as she fell over onto the floor, legs sprawled all over Kankuro's lap.
"So when are we fuckin?" He asked her while feeling up her leg. She gave him swift kick to the face.
"You were passed out so Gaara and I had sex on your back, so no happy sexy fun time for you!" She stuck out her tongue to Kankuro while he gave a horrified/pouty face.
"I'm JUST KIDDING!" She pinched Kankuro's cheek.
"Gosh, you two need to lighten up a bit!" She pulled her legs off Kankuro, realizing he was still feeling them up and stood.
"So! I have to meet some friends for breakfast at the café around the block. Care to join?" The two men nodded as she flitted around the apartment, gathering some items.
It only took a few minutes for them to walk down the stairs and around the block to the café. A small group of people was sitting out side the café, chatting in excited voices. Rika made a beeline for them.
"Hey!" She waved when she got close enough.
"Rika!" A woman with pale blue hair color and yellow eyes stood, waving them over. Gaara took a seat next to a woman who was laying her head on the table, her head was covered by a hood attached to her jacket. Kankuro sat next to him with Rika next to Kankuro.
"Who are your friends?" The blue haired woman asked.
"Oh! This is Gaara and Kankuro." Rika said, motioning to each of them.
"Gaara, Kankuro, this is Beatrice." She motioned to the blue haired woman who grinned at them. She pointed to the young woman sitting next to Gaara.
"That one is Rae. Rae, sit up and say hi." The woman snorted and held up her middle finger to Rika.
"She's cranky… like all the time!" Beatrice giggled. Rae let out a low growl that only had the other two women giggling more. A man with wild blonde hair and bright green eyes approached.
"Oh! And this is Beatrice's boyfriend, Alex!" Rika said as the man sat down.
"Well, about that. The reason we wanted to have you come meet us is because we have news!" Beatrice gave a huge grin. Rika stared wide eyed.
"We're getting married!" Beatrice and Rika squealed with each other.
"Oh my god! Show me the ring!" Rika squealed.
"It's in my car! Come on! I'll show ya!" Rika got up to follow Beatrice.
"I'll be right back!" She waved to Gaara and Kankuro, who both looked a little more than uncomfortable about being in this private moment. Alex followed them as well, leaving the two uncomfortable boys with a sleeping woman.
"Dude, is she dead?" Kankuro leaned over and whispered to his brother. Gaara was about to respond when the woman shift.
"No I'm not dead, I'm nocturnal. I hate day time activities." Rae sighed as she sat up and pulled off her hood. Her short and shaggy black and red hair fell out its small ponytail. Kankuro stood up in surprise as the woman glared at him.
"Your eyes…" was all he could sputter out.
"Are red? Yes I know, congratulations on being soooooo observant! Prick." She mumbled.
"Why?" Gaara asked in his dead pan tone.
"Because I'm a monster of the night… d'uh." Kankuro and Gaara exchanged confused glances. Rae sighed. And put her head back on the table.
"Raeeeeeeeeeee! Do you want to see my ring?" Beatrice came back, showing off her stone graced finger. Without even moving Rae said,
"Hey wow that's amazing! It's awesome…yay!" Her dead pan tone put Rika into a fit of giggles.
"There's no need to be mean!" Beatrice huffed.
"I'm tired and cranky and hungry and cranky. I'll determine when my meanness is enough!" The red eyed woman yelled into the table.
-Maybe I'll continue... I haven't decided-