Miss Grandbell by Marthio5x
In a world where Lords aren't Lords anymore, Sigurd and Marth wanted to...um...do nothing? I ain't readin' that script! If you wanna know, continue reading!
Sigurd: That woman's gonna be my future wife!
Marth: Which one?
Sigurd: You already know which one!
Marth: There's so many women on this show!
Sigurd: Sheeda.
Marth: Sheeda who?
Sigurd: Duh. Sheeda Lowell!
Marth: ...Oh.
Sigurd: What's wrong?
Marth: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.
Sigurd: Wanna stop at the pizza shop?
Marth: Sure!
Sigurd: I'm driving. Get in the car!
Marth: When'd you learn how to drive?
Sigurd: Before Mario existed.
Marth: You didn't even exist at that time!
Sigurd: We're there!
Marth: OK. *walks in*
Sigurd: I order, you get a table. Got it?
Marth: Yes.
Sigurd: Want any drinks?
Marth: Sure. Get two bottles of Ephraim's beer.
Sigurd: What?! Ike's is better!
Marth: Just get it. You'll be glad you did.
Sigurd: Jeez, commercial man!
Pizza guy: Hey, dude! Lemme guess: you want a small pepperoni pie and three bottles of Ephraim's beer, right?
Sigurd: Yep! But make it four bottles.
Pizza guy: All right. Go to your table and I'll bring everything!
Sigurd: Thanks!
Marth: *whispers* Did you know that guy is Colm in disguise?!
Sigurd: What?
Pizza guy: I heard that!
Sigurd: We were talking about that shopowner across the street!
Pizza guy: Oh.
Marth: Got the beer?
Sigurd: Yup.
Marth: Let's go sit.
Sigurd: All right.
Marth: Wanna know why I chose Ephraim's beer?
Sigurd: Why?
Marth: Two of those bottles are winners.
Sigurd: And what do you get out of it?
Marth: You get tickets for two to go see the Miss Grandbell finale for free!
Sigurd: Oh shoot! I'll do anything for that!
Marth: Food's here!
Sigurd: Finally.
Marth: Gotta open this bottle first!
Sigurd: Can't wait?
Marth: Nope.
Sigurd: I'll open mine too.
Marth: Oh my goodness...WE WON!
Sigurd: No we didn't.
Marth: We did! We did! Take a look for yourself!
Sigurd: Yes! Yes!
Marth: Let's stop acting like M. Bison and eat our pizza.
Sigurd: All right.
Marth: I can't believe it! We won!
Sigurd: But they don't allow Lords, former Lords, and anyone part of royalty.
Marth: What? Well...how about we dress up as villagers and go.
Sigurd: Nah, I'll just walk in and say you're my brother.
Marth: My idea's better!
Sigurd: No it isn't!
Marth: We're done eating!
Sigurd: We are? Oh, yeah...now let's go.
Marth: OK.
Sigurd:Back in the car.
Marth: I already know!
Sigurd: Jeez.
Marth: Dude...you just went over the speed limit!
Sigurd: So what! I'm not a Lord anymore!
Marth: Fine.
Sigurd: Alright. We're here. Now find a unrecognizable costume for both of us.
Marth: Why can't you do it?
Sigurd: Weren't you in Smash Bros.? When you and Ike wore green, no one was able to tell the difference!
Marth: I get it. Ooooh!
Sigurd: Oooh what?
Marth: Just found this old Serene costume. Want it?
Sigurd: Why would I want to wear that?!
Marth: I don't know. I'll wear it.
Sigurd: Hmmm. What's with this weird Altean looking costume?
Marth: I don't know. Don't wear that one - it suspiciously looks like me!
Sigurd: Fine. What about this Swordmaster one?
Marth: Wear it.
Sigurd: OK.
Narrator: All right. While Marth and Sigurd change, I'm going to read that weird script. In a world where Lords aren't Lords anymore, Sigurd and Marth wanted to meet up somewhere in Jugdral. Marth left Altea because he was fed up with his sister falling in love with Merric. Sigurd didn't have to go anywh-
Marth: We're done.
Sigurd: Yeah, narrator! We are done!
Marth: Let's go! Before we miss it!
Sigurd: Alright! *runs to the car*
Marth: Can't wait!
Sigurd: Me neither!
Marth: Sheeda better win!
Sigurd: She would.
Marth: Turn left!
Sigurd: We're already here? Great!
Marth: Let's go!
Sigurd: I'm going!
Bouncer: Who are you guys?
Marth: I'm er... *speaks the ancient tongue*
Sigurd: I'm some hacked custom unit with no name!
Bouncer: Tickets?
Marth: We won some with these bottles.
Bouncer: OK. Go ahead.
Sigurd: We made it!
Marth: Yes!
Villager 1: Why are there two men sitting here?
Villager 2: Because they're gay.
Villager 3: They're totally gay.
Marth: We're not gay!
Villager 1: Then why are you guys so happy to attend some stupid beauty pageant?
Marth: Because someone we know is competing with those other girls!
Villager 3: Also, Miss Grandbell is for people from Grandbell!
Marth: We are from Grandbell!
Villager 2: Serenes are from Tellius, not Jugdral.
Marth: I was born here!
Villager 1: Whatever.
Sigurd: It started!
Marth: Let's watch.
Sigurd: What happened?
Marth: I really don't know.
Announcer: Look man, I really wasn't flirting with the girls!
Officer: Shut up.
Announcer: No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Officer: Stop it!
Announcer: *grunts* Let go! Take this!
Officer: Dude! What's your problem?
Backup Officer: What happened here?!
Officer: This guy just threw a lit candle on the floor!
Backup Officer: Get outta here! Get the girls!
Marth: *whispers* Let's sneak backstage and see what happened!
Sigurd: Alright.
Officer: What are you two doing here?!
Marth: We just wanted to know what happened!
Sigurd: Yeah.
Backup Officer: Get out!
Marth: *walks out* I got a plan...
Sigurd: Ah great, 'cause when this guy gets a plan, it goes wrong.
Marth: Shut up!
Sigurd: Why not just go grab one of those female magic users and put the fire out with some freakin' ice magic?!
Marth: That was my plan!
Sigurd: Then do it!
Lilina: Let go of me!
Marth: No!
Lilina: *breaks loose* Holy swordmasters! There's a fire! *casts an ice spell*
Marth: She did it!
Officer: Problem solved.
Announcer: Heh heh heh...
Marth: Let's go!
Sigurd: Finally!
Backup Officer: What's up with your hair, Serene boy?
Marth: Nothing.
Backup Officer: It's blue. *pulls the costume off* What are you doing here?!
Marth: I came here to see Sheeda!
Backup Officer: Well, too bad! Who's this guy?
Sigurd: Some hacked custom unit with no name!
Backup Officer: *pulls the wig off* What are you doing here?!
Sigurd: Um...nothing?! *gets kicked out along with Marth*
Marth: This sucks. What do we do now?
Sigurd: Watch it on TV!
Marth: Great idea! Those guys wouldn't stop us from watching it on TV!
And so, the two 'winners' ended up watching Miss Grandbell on TV. The two officers beat the announcer up and the show ended with Sheeda winning.
THE END