a/n So here's a one-shot continuation of the story. Just came into my head today at work, so I couldn't not write it, could I? I think the next one (no idea when that will be) will see the return of Tex! (Unless I get some other idea first).
Steve ignored the vibrating phone in his pocket. For the moment, he continued to just lean against the railing and stare out at the harbour and the structure rising out of it. But the vibrating text had pulled him out of his reverie enough to notice the crowd around him. Tourists chatting in various languages, some he understood and some he didn't; camera shutters clicking; a group of school children approaching on his left. He tried to ignore them all and sink back into the meditative-like state he'd been in a moment ago, but it was no use.
With a sigh, he pulled out his phone and looked down at it. A distraction from the distractions. It was a text from Danny. Where r u?
He took a deep breath and chewed his bottom lip for a moment. He needed to ignore the text, pull himself back together before he saw his partner again. Yeah. He'd reply when he was on his way back home.
Steve nodded to himself and started to put the phone away but stopped when noticed that a different decision had been made for him. He'd swiped out a reply – Arizona – and hit send without even realizing it. His goddamn thumbs were fucking traitors.
Another sigh and he finally put the phone away. He could leave, but Danny was clearly on the way now that his partner knew where he was. Leaving now would just be rude. The crowd had moved on, so Steve resumed his position, looking out at the water and memorial.
"Steve!"
"Shit!' Steve said, too loud to be respectful at a memorial. As he spun around, he noticed a mother glare at him as she ushered her daughter farther away.
"Danny?" He relaxed as soon as he saw the shorter man, but was surprised to see him. He'd only just sent that text, hadn't he? But no, the sun was farther across the sky than it had been.
Danny frowned and studied his friend.
"All right, babe? Not very often – or, like, ever – that I successfully sneak up on you, even when I'm trying. Especially when you knew I was coming."
"Guess you're finally getting the hang of it." Steve laughed, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
He turned back to lean against the railing once more and grunted at the pain in his leg. His month of disciplinary-slash-medical leave was almost up. Steve had recovered from nearly all of the injuries sustained on the SEAL Op; injuries that hadn't had time to heal before he'd fucked them all up again helping Five-0 find Danny. All his injuries, that was, except his leg. It wasn't healing properly and while he was walking on his own and following all the doctor's order, it hurt like a bitch if he used it too much or not enough. As he rubbed his thigh, Danny stood next to him, mimicking the pose he'd found the SEAL in when he approached. He remained silent until Steve settled back next to him.
"Swung home for lunch. You weren't there."
"Yeah, I had a meeting. Admiral McLeod is in town for the day. Wanted to talk. Saved me going to the mainland next week."
"Ah." Danny went quiet again, which just weirded Steve the fuck out sometimes. But usually, like now, his silences seemed to come when Steve needed them the most. Steve hadn't been the easiest person to live with this last month, he knew that. Sometimes he wondered if Danny sorta wished he hadn't come back. He hadn't been brave enough to ask.
To be fair, Steve was in pain, bored out of his mind with the most free time he'd had since he was old enough for a summer job, and his life was about to change more than it had since two cops showed up at his house when he was 15. To top it all off, there were all these... emotions swirling around in his head. Between realizing he had a family, and what that actually meant, and all the Navy-mandated doctors, Steve was finally letting himself experience things he'd kept locked away for most of his life. It wasn't easy, and it still made him want to puke, but he was doing it. For Grace. For Danny. Sometimes even for himself.
"I feel like I'm betraying them," he finally said, after they'd been standing there in silence for he didn't know how long. Danny turned to him, frowning, like he was trying to remember the other half of the conversation they hadn't had. Then he gave up.
"What?"
"My Team. My SEAL Team. When I leave, they'll still be working, still fighting and I'm... here. In paradise. Doing nothing. What good is that?" He kept his eyes locked on the Memorial.
"You can do a lot of good here, babe. You have done a lot of good here. Maybe it's not saving the world, but you can protect your family; you can keep your home safe."
Steve just nodded and was quiet for another minute, collecting his thoughts; gaining strength from the sunken ship, from his grandfather.
"The Navy's been my life practically since I was 16. I kinda thought I'd be there until I died. Like my Grandfather. Serving my country."
"Your dad did his time, too, Steve. Got out. Became a cop. A damn good one from what I've heard. Didn't do too bad by Chin, either. He served his country and his island. You give me a vote and I'll tell you who I'd rather you follow, babe."
"Yeah." He didn't sound convinced.
"Did you feel like this the last time you left?"
"No. Because I never left. I was Reserves. That meant I still gave them a weekend a month and most of my vacation. It meant I could still be called for a mission at a moment's notice. I was still doing my job. I continued the hunt for Hesse, went after Wo Fat. I... still had a purpose."
"Well," Danny started, slow, cautious. "You could still change your mind. Right?"
Steve finally turned to look at him. His friend did not look happy about that idea.
"Y-you trying to get rid of me?" He posed the question that had been haunting him for the past three weeks with a playful smirk, but it oozed with fear.
"Never. All right?" Danny gripped Steve's bicep. "Steve, we just want you to be happy, okay? We just want you do to whatever it is you need to do. Personally, I don't think that means going back to the Navy and a desk job that will more than likely take you away from your home. But if that is what you need to do then of course we'll all support you. Just, don't shut us out this time, babe, okay?"
Steve smiled his first true smile all afternoon and it was contagious.
"Yeah, Danno. But I'm not. I don't regret the decisions I made that got me transferred out of the SEALs. I don't regret my decision to leave the Navy. It's just... I guess I didn't realize how hard it would be." Yeah, he'd watched Catherine go through it, and she'd only been in for half the time. He just... thought he'd be stronger.
Danny ran his hand down Steve's arm and back up before giving his shoulder a squeeze and finally pulling away to cross his arms. A comforting gesture. "Hey, that's completely understandable. I know you had a lot invested in the Navy. You just need a thing, like you told Catherine she needed a thing. But you've already got that, right? You're going to come back to Five-0, yeah?"
The almost ex-SEAL gave a frustrated huff. That was another thing keeping him up nights. He'd seen the look the doc tried to hide the last time he saw him. Steve wondered if his time in the SEALs had been drawing to a close no matter what he'd done. And if that was the case, would they clear him for the Task Force? Did he even want to go back to Five-0?
"I'll be honest, Danny, I don't know." He didn't want to voice his suspicions. Maybe he'd be wrong, anyway.
"Huh." Steve watched a myriad of emotions cross the blond's face. Surprise, disappointment, worry, to name a few. "You talk to your guy about this?" The corner of Steve's mouth twitched up a bit. Steve always refused to say anything more than that he was working on his 'stress' and had 'a guy' – not a doc, or a shrink, or a psychiatrist, or even The Wizard. Danny had long ago picked up on that and used the same words.
"Sorta? Not really. We just talked about a general plan. He doesn't think I should rush into things. He suggested I take the Navy up on everything they offer guys who are retiring. They have all these seminars, Second Career Training grants, things like that. The Admiral agrees. So technically, I won't be leaving just yet. I report to Pearl next Monday and I'll work out my last three months with NI while I do all this other stuff."
"That's... actually a really good idea, Steve. Did either of them have any ideas for you? Seeing as you seem to be looking for something other than Five-0."
"Well, I just want to look at all my options, think things through like you're always harping on me for. And we didn't really get into all that. As you keep reminding me, I'm a crazy Neanderthal with a boatload of baggage. We're still working on bag number one."
Danny let out a hearty laugh, his eyes crinkling. Once they'd both calmed down, the Detective looked out at the Memorial and a thought came to him.
"Steve."
"Danny."
"Shut up. So, I'm happy that you're staying here and not staying in the Navy after this three month dealio. But I also heard what you were saying before about not being there for your Team. And I know how much the Navy, the military, and not just your career in said Navy, means to you. Is there some way you can work for the Navy without actually being in the Navy and at their beck and call?"
Steve furrowed his brow, confused but intrigued. "What do you mean?"
"Well, for example, I know they do SEAL training here on the island. Do they, or could they, use civilians there? Seems like even though you and Wade are pretty much even now, he might be able to help you out? Or maybe there's some other support work you could do. Even if it's just volunteer, along with working on the Task Force, of course. Not as bad as a desk job, but not action-packed, life or death, either."
Steve's eyes lit up and another little piece of barbed wire fell away from his heart as he thought of the possibilities Danny's idea brought up. His friend grinned.
"That's a great idea, Danny." He tried not to get his hopes up too much. Who knew if this would even be possible? But he was... excited for the first time in a long time.
"I know. Haven't we had this conversation multiple times? I am awesome." Steve laughed. "You good?"
"Yeah, thanks, man." He pulled Danny into a great hug. Both men sunk into the embrace until Danny pulled away.
"I truly, deeply, hate to cut this short, but as awesome as I am, I'm a horrible father. We're going to be late to pick up Grace."
"Oh shit!" He looked around him, but thankfully there were no innocent ears around that time. "I'm sorry!"
"Do not apologize. She knows to wait with the principal if we're not there when she gets out. But we should get going."
The men turned to start walking back to their vehicles. Even if they'd driven here separately, Danny knew he'd come to the school, too. Probably beat him there, the lunatic. He pulled out his phone as Steve got into his truck. On the way, Monkey. Give Steve lots of hugs when you see him.