A/N: I'm just doing this for the lulz. Man, as I was writing this I kept thinking about how sorry I felt for girls who were actually like the main character, but it was so much fun to write. Anywho... see ya'll next chapter! Also, all quotes said by the Gaia NPCs are direct quotes from the Liam Quest. Some words might be changed to fit the story better, but 99.8 percent of it is direct quotes. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

It was a beautiful day today. The sun was peeking through puffs of smoke that billowed from various smokestacks, the breeze was blowing a fresh batch of smog-filled air right into my nostrils, and the loud clanging of machines rang throughout the air. Yes, it was just another perfect day in the town of Aekea. I had gotten up earlier than usual so that I could make it to the industrialized town before the crowds started forming, but it had been worth it. Now I would be able to talk to the very object of my obsess--er, affection, Liam.

You see, there have been some rumors spreading around Burton about an upcoming dance. I even overheard some of the shop managers talking about it. So ever since then, I've made it my personal mission to ask Liam to the dance... which is why I'm here today. Looking up at the bleak concrete building before me, I bounce up the few steps and try the door. Luckily, it opens for me and when I enter, a most welcome sight greets me. The Crate & Apparel is empty; at least... it's mostly empty, with the exception of the one who I've come here for in the first place...

"Yo." I suppress shivers when I hear the store manager address me in his usual manner. Putting on my best smile, I give a casual wave (I had been practicing all night) and walk over to a shelf and start to look at the various clothing items laid out there. After a few minutes of silence, my mind began to scramble for ideas of how to bring up the dance. 'So, Liam...' I could say, 'I hear there's a dance...' No no, to forward! I don't want him to think that I'm desperate. Because, I'm so not! Sadly, before I get a chance to think of something totally awesome to say, Liam speaks again and I find it hard to think once more. "Hey, beautiful," He says smoothly as he leans up against the shelf next to where I'm standing, "you got a minute?" For you? A lifetime. I say in my mind as I fight the urge to swoon. Instead of making a fool of myself, I just nod politely and smile coyly.

"I need some advice..." with those four words, I find my heartbeat quickening, as if it wasn't fast enough already... I fear I might fall over due to cardiac arrest. But then perhaps Liam will catch me before I hit the floor with his big, strong arms... I can dream, can't I? "Okay, Here's the short version: I managed to get pretty much every girl in town mad at me." My shoulders slump slightly, I can already finish this story without the man continuing, but out of courtesy, I let him continue.

"I was kinda secretly dating Sasha, Moria and Vanessa at the same time. They found out about it, and now I can't even go for a haircut without getting chased out of the salon with a straight razor. Everything I try is hopeless. I've tried hitting on them; I've tried sending them letters explaining how awesome I am... I've even tried walking around with my shirt off. It's hopeless. These crazy chicks won't respond to logic or reason or washboard abs." He had a point there, if those girls couldn't fall under the spell of those abs, there was something seriously wrong with them. When Liam cleared his throat, I my attention snapped back to him and I found myself blushing what was no doubt a deep shade of crimson. I'd have to smack myself for spacing out after this was over. Nodding to show he had my attention again, Liam continued. "Do you think you could help me out with this?"

Although it killed me to agree to give the love of my life help on getting another girl (correction: THREE other girls), a part of me thought that this could be my chance to win his heart so I agreed. The smile he gave me was already making this whole thing worth it. "Okay, here's what I'm thinking: maybe I need to get some more perspectives on this situation." I nodded, this course of action would probably be the best to take, especially since he was going after three very different girls (curse my luck). "I need some advice, but I can't mess up my reputation by asking another dude about the ladies. Do you think you could be a friend and talk to some of the other dudes around here?" Nodding some more, I began to feel very similar to a parakeet or one of those dogs my friend has on the dashboard of her UFO. Once more Liam makes a valid point, I dread to think of what would happen if his reputation was ruined! That would be absolutely dreadful!

Seeing my understanding, Liam put on a thoughtful face and I could just tell he was weighing carefully just who he should ask for such advice. "Edmund is pretty... you know... old. He must have tons of experience with girls. Maybe you should start with him. You can find him at his shop, as usual." This was logical... I guess... I suppose. I had only met Edmund a few times and if there was one thing that man had: it was experience. But did he have that kind of experience? He always seems so... bitter. Then again, maybe that had to do with a girl rejecting him. It would explain some things. A lot of things, actually. Giving Liam one last nod (I was starting to get slightly light-headed from all the head bobbing), I put on my most confident smile and proclaimed:
"Don't worry, Liam, I'll do my best just for you!"