"Well, that's funny."
Tigress slowly spins around in her seat, spies the smile on Zatanna's face, and willingly (gratefully) takes the bait. Monitor duty can be such a drag. With the Watchtower nearly empty and their shift nearly over, it'd been all too easy for the women to fall into the trap that is the annals of the League, conveniently accessible through their holo-monitors during desperate(ly boring) times such as these.
"What's funny?" Tigress asks, leaning closer to Zatanna's monitor.
Zatanna directs Tigress's attention to a number next to Tigress's name. "You have the highest number of successful missions this quarter."
"I do?" Tigress asks, genuinely shocked. She has been pulling double shifts, traveling between Star and Gotham more than ever, but she hadn't realized she'd been on that many missions.
"Yeah, your numbers are insane," Zatanna says, nodding before she tilts her head. "Do you sleep?"
"Only on monitor duty," Tigress snorts, before she sits back and smiles. "This is perfect. Next time you-know-who calls me a house cat, I can throw my numbers back at him and–"
"Oh no, you're going to want to hold off on that," Zatanna interrupts her and points to another name on the list. "Flash just updated his mission log. You're tied."
Well, there goes that, Tigress thinks, sinking deeper into her seat. "You have got to be kidding me."
A notification pops up on Zatanna's screen and she winces before she swipes it away.
"It gets worse," Zatanna says with a frown. "He's on his way up here."
Tigress sits up straighter. "This is so not fair. I've been working my ass off and I can't even get in a minute of gloating? He runs faster than the speed of sound, Zee! Of course he's going to have high numbers. Plus, he has an entire rogue gallery on rotation and his own turf. I have to share with G.A., Black Canary, and Red Arrow. Even Batman, on occasion."
"Maybe you should move?" Zatanna offers (un)helpfully.
"Let me look at his file," Tigress says gruffly, turning back to her own screen and pulling up the mission log, and it only takes her a moment before she finds something of interest. "Oh, this is bullshit. Helped an old man cross the street. That is not a mission!"
Tigress throws her hands up. "Who writes mission logs for that?! These numbers are inflated. He's cheating."
Zatanna laughs, shaking her head. "Cheating? Since when did helping people become a competition?"
"Since you told me I was winning," Tigress answers, her narrowed gaze trained on the outrageously detailed tiny-itty-bitty so-called missions before her. Tied my ass.
"What are you winning?"
It takes all of the self-control Tigress has in her to keep from swiping at the man who'd thought it'd be fun to sneak up on her. (How'd he do that? Surely he hadn't dropped his habit of announcing his presence the moment he enters a room in a single day.) Tigress spins around in her seat, arms crossed and expression sour. Flash doesn't flinch at the sight of her pinched face, so she makes sure to look extra annoyed as she regards his innocent (definitely not) smile.
Zatanna answers the question for Tigress, pointing to her monitor. "Tigress has the best mission record this quarter."
Flash takes a closer look at the monitor and quirks his head. "We're tied."
"Only because you're cheating," Tigress says, more defensively than she intended. "No one counts giving directions as a mission."
Flash leans against the railing of the monitor station and crosses his arms. "What can I say? Bats asked me to keep better track of my time in the field. I'm only following orders. Being thorough."
Tigress doesn't smile when she asks, "Does he make you log your bathroom breaks too?"
"Ha-ha," Flash says flatly, sending Zatanna (whose snorting laughter echoes throughout the room) a quick glare before he turns back to Tigress. "Look, my numbers are good because I'm that good. You can't exactly say I was cheating if I didn't know this was a game with rules."
"You know," Zatanna starts, leaning forward in her chair wearing the same smile she'd used to drag Tigress into her discovery, "there are only a few weeks left in the quarter. We could lay down some rules right now and see who has the highest number at the end of the month."
"I'm in," Flash says, nodding at Tigress.
Tigress raises a brow at him. "That was fast."
"Being fast is kind of my thing," Flash says, and the peacocking he does as he says it is the last thing Tigress needs to see before she makes her decision to knock him off his pedestal.
"Really? I hadn't noticed," Tigress says, rolling her eyes as she raps her fingers against her armrest. Her gaze falls on Zatanna's pleading eyes for a second before she sighs softly in resignation.
Flash crouches down next to Tigress's chair and asks, "Are you in or not?"
"I'm in," Tigress says as she looks down at him and crosses her arms. "Here are my terms. No more mini-missions, like saving a cat in a tree or helping old people find the train station. There need to be actual bad guys involved for it to count as a mission."
Flash nods and purses his lips before he adds, "And if we have a joint mission, whoever takes out the most perps wins the point for that mission."
"Fine."
"What do you want if you win?" Zatanna interjects, turning to Tigress, her eyes sparkling.
Tigress thinks for a moment before she says, "If I win, Flash has to be my coffee runner for a month."
"That doesn't sound too bad," Flash says, scoffing.
"That's because you don't know about her coffee addiction," Zatanna notes, gleefully writing down the terms on her monitor. "You're in for it."
Flash scoffs before he smiles and says, "When I win, Tigress has to go on a date with me."
A what now? She'd been expecting anything ranging from shaving her head to being his hype-woman around the Watchtower but a date was– well, that wasn't– how dare–
"But–What–" Tigress sputters (out loud this time), "why is that what you want?"
Flash grins brightly as he answers her question. "Because you'll hate it."
Of course. She'd been thinking too small with the coffee lackey idea. Too late to turn back now.
Tigress narrows her eyes and holds out her hand. "Fine. Deal, but only because I know you're going to lose."
"Keep underestimating me," Flash says, smirking as he shakes her outstretched hand. "I'm going to leave your numbers in the dust."
Tigress snorts, releases her hand from his grip and uses the tip of her boot to lightly push Flash's knee. He topples back onto his butt against the floor. (Zatanna loses it, burying her mouth beneath her hands and slamming her foot against the ground to quell her laughter.)
Tigress smiles down at him and asks, "Who's leaving who in the dust now?"
Tigress enters her apartment (through the window, as one does) as the sun rises, and she can't run to her laptop fast enough. She enters her missions in the log, her heart racing, and by the time she finishes her reports, the sun is high in the sky and she's got a seven point lead on the enemy.
Take that, she thinks, before she closes her laptop and leaves it on her desk. Satisfied, she takes off her necklace, places it on her nightstand, and makes her way to the shower. While there, Artemis contemplates the many coffee orders she'll be putting in over the next month. The opportunities are endless when your delivery boy can break the sound barrier and has access to the Zeta network. She finishes her shower and gets ready for bed with a full heart and a mind full of overly complicated caffeinated drinks.
Not even a minute after she shuts her eyes, her phone buzzes on her nightstand. On her screen is a picture of the mission log, and a single message. The picture shows Flash ahead by two missions.
Better luck next time, Tigress. – Flash [9:57AM]
Artemis dreams of crimewaves and espressos.
"Look, I know the only thing you have on the line here is your dignity," Rocket says, "but I'd like to remind you that I'm running the risk of losing a significant amount of capital if you lose."
"Me too," Superboy says.
"Can we talk about this later?" Tigress asks, kicking another robot monkey into the empty the elevator shaft.
It's not like Tigress wants to lose (and she'd argue she has a lot more than just her dignity on the line), but there are only so many hours in the day during which she can rack up points. The only real advantage she has is the surging crime rates in Star City and Gotham (and those aren't exactly things she wants to brag about).
Rocket shakes her head and traps a group of robots in a bubble. "Later would be too late. You need to win this one, right now. Another wave incoming."
Tigress sends an arrow through a monkey's eye. "How many is that?"
"Seventeen," Superboy says, tossing two more monkeys out the broken window of the abandoned office building.
"How many do you think he's taken out by now?" Tigress puffs, wacking another monkey away with a wooden board. Okay, no more of this. Time for swords.
Superboy squints at the wall for a quick second. "A grand total of none. He's still at his post."
"Do robots count?" Rocket asks.
"Ugh, I hate monkeys," Superboy groans, grabbing a robot off his back and chucking it into the elevator shaft. "I'd say these qualify."
"How much did you two bet on the bet?"
When they don't answer, Tigress turns around and repeats her question in a sterner tone.
Superboy shares a look with Rocket before he coughs.
Rocket shakes her head and says, "It's better if you don't know."
"Then the monkeys count," Tigress declares, spinning back around and stabbing her sword through two of the robots at once before she tosses them back from whence they came.
Robot monkeys don't count! – Flash [1:23AM]
Majority vote says they do. Better luck tomorrow, Flash. – Tigress [1:25AM]