Boarding Ain't Boring!
Ever noticed how all the boarders in Hogwarts seem to stay quietly inside their dorms playing such jolly games like Exploding Snap, or doing their homework, or talking quietly by the fireplace? While Harry and Co has 'adventures' like saving the wizarding world, etc, etc. Well, sorry to say it, but that's not what really happens in boarding schools... perhaps we should set the record straight?
1) Boarding is, first off, about destroying things. Boarders do not save the world. Boarders wreck things, like other people's ornaments, homework, chairs, dorms, priceless bits of jewellery, family heirlooms etc, etc. And even if boarders did try to save the world, they wouldn't have a plan. Well, they would, but it would be really, really stupid. Which brings us to our next point.
2) Boarding is about being stupid. When you are a boarder, you are expected to do something completely, utterly stupid. Which isn't hard, really. Actually, it can be quite fun. Boarders are supposed to be clever, yet strangely dumb. It's nature's way of protecting boarders from doing thinking.
3) Boarding is about sex. If you go to a single sex school, it means that everyone thinks you're gay. Of course, we don't have this problem at schools like Hogwarts. No, it just means that everyone thinks we're all mad-crazy sex fiends who rush around bonking each other at the slightest opportunity. It's not true... well not for most anyway. :)
4) Boarding is about horrible, horrible food. It is almost compulsory for a boarder to say their food is mush, to tell people their food is blue (which is unnatural) and to scrounge food of anyone you can because you are a 'poor, starving boarder'. It doesn't have to be true. You just have to do it.
5) Finally, boarding is about rules, or more specifically breaking them. If you aren't allowed to stay up after ten, you must. If you can't order pizza, then you have to, even if you hate pizza. If you're not allowed to sneak out at night and go over to the shopping centre (which NO ONE is allowed to do at any boarding school anywhere) then you have to, even if you are flat broke, tired and don't particularly want to anyway. Because when boarders don't break rules, the world will stop turning, the dead will come back to life, I will pass my French test... (A/N: just kidding... I'll never pass it!)
So listen up J.K, and take heed, cause boarding ain't boring...
A/N: Sorry about that, but it had to be said... my friends were going ballistic about the stupidity and sex, or lack of thereof, in the Harry Potter books. Never mind... just review!
Ever noticed how all the boarders in Hogwarts seem to stay quietly inside their dorms playing such jolly games like Exploding Snap, or doing their homework, or talking quietly by the fireplace? While Harry and Co has 'adventures' like saving the wizarding world, etc, etc. Well, sorry to say it, but that's not what really happens in boarding schools... perhaps we should set the record straight?
1) Boarding is, first off, about destroying things. Boarders do not save the world. Boarders wreck things, like other people's ornaments, homework, chairs, dorms, priceless bits of jewellery, family heirlooms etc, etc. And even if boarders did try to save the world, they wouldn't have a plan. Well, they would, but it would be really, really stupid. Which brings us to our next point.
2) Boarding is about being stupid. When you are a boarder, you are expected to do something completely, utterly stupid. Which isn't hard, really. Actually, it can be quite fun. Boarders are supposed to be clever, yet strangely dumb. It's nature's way of protecting boarders from doing thinking.
3) Boarding is about sex. If you go to a single sex school, it means that everyone thinks you're gay. Of course, we don't have this problem at schools like Hogwarts. No, it just means that everyone thinks we're all mad-crazy sex fiends who rush around bonking each other at the slightest opportunity. It's not true... well not for most anyway. :)
4) Boarding is about horrible, horrible food. It is almost compulsory for a boarder to say their food is mush, to tell people their food is blue (which is unnatural) and to scrounge food of anyone you can because you are a 'poor, starving boarder'. It doesn't have to be true. You just have to do it.
5) Finally, boarding is about rules, or more specifically breaking them. If you aren't allowed to stay up after ten, you must. If you can't order pizza, then you have to, even if you hate pizza. If you're not allowed to sneak out at night and go over to the shopping centre (which NO ONE is allowed to do at any boarding school anywhere) then you have to, even if you are flat broke, tired and don't particularly want to anyway. Because when boarders don't break rules, the world will stop turning, the dead will come back to life, I will pass my French test... (A/N: just kidding... I'll never pass it!)
So listen up J.K, and take heed, cause boarding ain't boring...
A/N: Sorry about that, but it had to be said... my friends were going ballistic about the stupidity and sex, or lack of thereof, in the Harry Potter books. Never mind... just review!