Don't own anything or anybody. Cross posted from AO3

What happens to a pickled kaiju brain? It's kind of a strange question to ask, but after he invited a piece of fractured hivemind all up in his neural space, he had found himself devoting time to it. Or…well by devoting time...

He and Hermann were still at the Shatterdome post Averted Apocalypse via Genius Rock Star, Newton Geiszler, and handy Neural Load Sidekick, Hermann Gottlieb (with guest appearance by Baby Otachi), for the time being…

Many people were convinced that the kaiju were gone for good, but the world wanted to know more about them, which strings back to Newt, the eminent kaiju expert that he is, will certainly be called to continue his studies. Hermann will be drawn into a similar situation concerning the Rift. The world wanted to fully understand its creation, existence, and the possibility of it reappearing.
Whether these studies would continue at the Shatterdome or elsewhere is...well, it's only the first day after the world didn't end, so people might change their minds. Also Hermann...

He got in on the neural action at the end there. Newt's fairly positive that Hermann didn't sleep much last night. He didn't ask for confirmation either. They haven't talked much since the drift. There's an unspoken agreement between them. A lot is unspoken because, thank you, drifting. They got to see a pretty piece of the other person's past, and some more religious creatures might say they knew each other's souls now. Newt was a little too scientific for that.

He had fragments. Much like the piece of dead kaiju brain, he had pieces of Hermann in his head. Fragments of memory that were far too personal for 10 year colleagues to share, but there they were. And Newt could barely guess what Hermann had gleaned from the drift.

That day…oh that day…

After Mako and Raleigh surfaced from the fucking anteverse (how does one drop that little fact bomb casually in a sentence or thought?), everyone in the control room breathed a sigh of relief.

There were survivors.
The world hadn't ended.
Newt was on a massively intense we-aren't-going-to-die-screaming sort of high. He hadn't really had time to think about the drift after him and Hermann had simultaneously latched on to the most important facts and ran back to the Shatterdome…

Well… more like walked quickly… Hermann was not a runner, and Newt was just about done with physical exertion for the day. Running from Otachi has that effect on people.

But in the Shatterdome, he had grinned and slung an arm around Hermann's shoulders, and the man actually smiled back. Everybody was laughing, and there was even some drinking (some being a serious understatement).

But after a few shots all around, the partying had grown quiet.

There were survivors, and there were casualties.

It hit him right around his fourth drink. He knocked it back, same as the others, but the smile didn't follow. The shouting and the music seemed somewhat muted. A glance across the table showed that Hermann was watching him. He wasn't smiling either. Newt leaned back in his chair

Woah, his brain informed him. He felt dizzy and nauseous, and it wasn't just the alcohol.
Oh yeah, he drifted twice in… less than 48 hours. Yeah, he had drifted using an antiquated interface that he pieced together. The first drift had been alone.
He thought felt like shit before, and after adding four shots of vodka into the mix…
Oh he felt awful.

Hermann wasn't smiling…maybe he felt a bit off? He did throw up right after the drift into a conveniently placed toilet (thank you Otachi for whatever bit of destruction put a toilet right there). Hermann had only drifted once on his own, and dealt with 50% of the neural load in said drift…Newt did some quick math and figured that he had handled 150% neural load over the last 48 hours.

Fuuuuuuuuuck

He mumbled something and stood up from his chair. Tendo and Mako noted the standing, and whatever he had just said, and seemed satisfied. Hermann didn't move. Newton tried to not meet his eyes, when he found his senses flooded.

Hermann is fifteen years old and a physical therapist grips his calf. She's telling him to push or pull or do something. They've been at this for thirty-six minutes and Hermann is dripping with sweat from the effort and the agony. His hands grip the sides the bed so hard his fingers are numb.

He has twenty-four minutes to go.

Newt jerked back to the present to find himself staring at the floor. That was good. If he had been staring at Hermann it would have gotten weird.

He needed to get out of there. The air felt like it was suffocating him, and Newt suddenly had the urge to crawl out of his skin. The gaze of his drift partner felt like it could drill holes in his skull. Geez, why couldn't the man just speak like a normal person?

Oh, he would need to throw up in a minute. He was miraculously able to run to the nearest toilet where the remains of the vodka, and what appeared to be traces of his last meal, ended up in the toilet. Well, mostly in the toilet (also strategically placed, but by no doing of Otachi).

He stared at the rim of the bowl, breathing heavily until he was positive nothing else would escape his stomach via his mouth. Once he was certain, he dropped his head onto his arms and slumped down onto the floor.

He hadn't had time to think about the drift, and he wished he had done a little more thinking before those shots. He shut his eyes and scenes from the drift played like some avante garde film behind his eyelids.

—Kill, maim, destroy feel flesh rip feel buildings crumble joy and—

—Somebody decided on giant robots. An inelegant solution to these aliens, but already his mind buzzes with the equations that could build one. Imagine the balance and counter balance required for such a thing to walk. And the size to match those…what are they calling them? Kai—

—kaiju tear kaiju kill watch them suffer watch them die

—He had been sipping coffee with the tv on. He wasn't awake yet. Suddenly, it was on every channel. This new thing crashing through San Francisco and tearing into a building like it was piece of crusty bread, and he was awake, and scared and excited—

—bleed them dry open them up fill them blue dead dying blood kill tear rip die—

Newt's ears were full of sound, and it took a minute to realize it was his own screaming.

Alone in a toilet.

After drifting with a piece of pickled kaiju brain, followed by a dying baby kaiju.

He dragged himself back up to the rim of the toilet and heaved. He was running on empty.

His hands shook as he wiped his mouth and he sat beside the toilet, feeling sick, dirty, and possibly close to crying. He wiped at his nose with the back of his arm and stared at the red smear that resulted on his skin.

What was his brain going to be after he shared it with a kaiju? Just the thought of kaiju brought sharp, violent, cerulean, thoughts to the surface. He sort of wished Hermann would magically sense his need and appear in this bathroom with him in some convenient display of ghost drift side effects.

But after several minutes of gasping and shaking, no help came.

He had shared his mind with a hivemind and one grumpy mathematician. It had been so very crowded, and now that the world was saved and all was calm…

He felt very alone.

So one of those memory blips was Newton's own memories idk how clear that is...Also I have been wanting to write something for these two assholes for awhile now. Please note I marked this as slash because I ship them but I doubt this fic will go farther than cuddling

Speaking of, I have zero idea where I am going with this. But apparently there will be more than one chapter and I may switch POVs.

The title is a lyric from a Mountain Goats song called How to Embrace a Swamp Creature. Fitting right?

Oh and idk how often I will be updating this because I just started a new job but lately I have turned to writing when stressed so we will see. Oh and what if every chapter title was a Mountain Goats Lyric...I'm tempted but refraining for now