Someday:Friends
by:~**Twilight Nuriko**~
AN: This will probably be one of the last yaoi inspired fics I do for awhile. Enjoy it while you can. Standard disclaimers apply. *1x2* Also, I wrote this on a whim after reading Blaze Of Glory, White Rose, and Angel on Vacation, so those of you who have read those might recognize a few things as being similiar to those stories.
~Duo~
I gulped as those intense cobalt blue eyes stared into mine. Rough fingers strayed to the lips, touched them softly, lingered awhile. The silence was rather nerve racking. I wished he would say something. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if he screamed at me. Anything to break the silence. I, myself, was too weak to speak. My courage had fled.
Finally he spoke. "Why?"
Just one word, and I was even more afraid than before.
Unnnaturally, I grinned. "Why what?"
"Why ....why did you that?" he asked me.
I shrugged indifferently. "Because I felt like it."
He didn't say anything, just nodded and walked over to that damned laptop. Someday I should get rid of that thing. It's such a nuisance.
I blinked in surprise at his back. That was it? No confrontation, no threats, no self-destructing? Damn. What a shock. Of course, he wasn't exactly expecting it. Maybe my mistake hadn't fully hit him yet.
~Heero~
Surprised, I just stared at Duo. I felt my lips tingling. What the hell was that? What just happened? I heard Duo gulp and watched him fidget. He was nervous. Afraid of me. I opened my mouth to speak. "Why?"
He grinned and then said, "Why what?"
"Why ....why did you do that?"
He shrugged. "Because I felt like it."
What kinda answer was that? I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything, just walked over to the laptop on our desk and pretended to be deeply involved in what I was doing. I was confused. Why did Duo do that? I mean, we're both guys, so ....I blushed as I realized what I was thinking about.
~Duo~
He's blushing! I don't believe it! I wonder why. What's he thinking about? Probably thinking about what a faggot I am. I laughed. 'You're such a baka, Duo! Now why did you kiss him? He'll probably hate you now. Of course, who can blame him? You probably scared him off!' I thought to myself.
"Duo ... I want a real answer. Why did you-"
I whirled around savagely. Embarrased. Of course. "No Heero!" I snarled.
He looked startled. "No what?"
"I'm not gonna answer that question. I .... I wanna be alone!" I blurted out as I fled outside and to the hangar about a minute away from the apartment Heero and I shared.
~Heero~
I stared in shock as Duo sped outside, his face flashing crimson. What the fuck was his problem? I deserve an answer, don't I? I shook it off and turned back to the laptop. Ten minutes later it was clear I wasn't getting any work done. Sighing, I got up and headed towards the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help clear my head.
~Duo~
Fifteen minutes and I was back at the apartment. What is it in Heero that attracts me to him? Damn him! He actually manages to give me a hardon every time I *think* about him! When I walked in, however, Heero wasn't there. So where was he? I listened a bit, hoping to hear him somewhere. And presently I realized water was running. He was in the shower. I'm not as stupid as I look.
Resolutely, I went over to Heero's bed to sit and wait. I needed to talk to Heero, and now was as good a time as any.
~Heero~
Thirty minutes later and I finally crawl out of the shower. I'm starting to turn into Duo. Involuntary, I shuddered. Scary thought. When I finally came out, however, who should be waiting on the edge of *my* bed but Duo. I glared at him.
"Get off my bed!" I snarled at him.
He jumped a little guiltly and, for a moment, he looked like he was about to cry. But he quickly regained his composure.
"He-Heero, I', ready to t-talk."
I sighed in disgust. He's stuttering. The baka's afraid of me. Why in the hell is he always afraid of me? Damn it gets on my nerves!
"What is it Duo?" I asked him in a monotone. My voice of perfection. Took me seven years to perfect.
~Duo~
Damn. How long does it take for a shower? He's been in there for thirty minutes! Just as I was thinking this, the door opened and he walked out, and, seeing me, glared.
"Get off my bed!" he exclaimed.
Hmph! That was awfully rude of him! And after I waited for him all this time, too! 'Fine! See if I ever wait on you again, Mr. Heero Yuy Perfect Soldier!' I thought. That is, if I ever even *see* him again after this. I took a deep breath.
"He-Heero, I'm ready to t-talk." I said, stuttering like the frightened wimp that I am.
"What is it Duo?" he asked me without emotion.
"I need to go ahead and say what I'm about to say. And I don't want you to interrupt me or say anything until I'm through speaking. Okay?"
"No."
I gulped. No? Now what the *hell* was I suppos't to say to *that*?
~Heero~
I almost laughed out loud at the look on his face when I told him 'No'. No doubt he's confused now. I could see he didn't know what to say, so I said something for him.
"No, it's not okay but I get the feeling you're gonna say it anyway so go ahead and say it."
*Now* came relief. He opened his mouth.
"For the past several months now, I've found you've occupied my thoughts more often than you usually do. Then I began to find myself strongly attracted to you. I didn't understand it at first, and denied it. But pretty soon I found I couldn't ignore those feelings. I wanted you, Heero, I wanted you so bad it hurt. Just being around you got painful. I couldn't understand it. Why the hell was I so attracted to you, so infatuated with getting you?"
~Duo~
I watched his face as I spoke. Totally emotionless. Pure silence. Unbelievable. Even as I confessed my feelings for him, the baka didn't even react. That's Heero for you. Mr. Stoic. He and Trowa would make a great couple.
At one point Heero opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I held up my hand. "Don't interrupt me Heero. I'm not finished yet." He closed his mouth. I continued. "Then just a few days ago, I finally realized the answer. I loved you, Heero. Why or how I don't exactly know, but I love you and everything about you, with all my heart and soul." At this he started. Finally! A little reaction! I proceeded on, "A-And then today, it just slipped out. I couldn't control my damn impulses. I'll understand if you don't feel the same way about me, I don't even expect you to. And if you wanna leave and forget about me, then go. I'm stopping you." I finally shut up, and just watched him for some kind of inclination in which his feelings lay.
~Heero~
He finally shut up. I just stared, I was too shocked to even feel disgusted. Duo *loved* me? But.....that's not right, is it? He's not supposed to love me, ne? We're both guys, so he can't....but he does. Why? And how do I feel about him? Even though he's not pressing me, he wants an answer. Yet I don't have one to give him. What could I say to him? Before I was ready to answer though, my tongue began to form words.
"Duo.....I..-I need time to think things out."
He just nodded, doing some damn sympathy thing. "I understand Heero. I'll be hear when you come back."
*When* I come back? Not *if* I come back? What makes him think I'm definitely coming back? Hell, I could leave him in a second. But I won't. I feel like I owe him some kinda answer.
~Duo~
I totally messed up. I just know it. Damn my loud mouth. I just hope Heero comes back. Why did I have to open my big mouth and tell him I loved him? Why, dammit, why?! I'm such a baka. I probably just ruined the only chance I had with him.
~Heero~
This can't be right, can it? I've never thought of Duo in that way before. Hell, I barely even considered him a friend. And now he tells me he's in love with me? What can I say to *that*? No way this is right. No way. Two guys can't be in love. It's just not right. But if that's so, Heero, then what about Quatre and Trowa? But they're different. How? How are they different? They're guys too. Just like you and Duo. No. No way! I'm not in love with Do, and I'm not gonna allow myself to fall in love with that annoying, braided Shinigami. I'm just not gonna allow myself to. And to make sure, I'm gonna leave him. Great that makes it sound like we're together! I'll move out and get my own damn place. But why do I feel so reluctant to leave him? I don't feel anything for him. Not even friendship. So why?
~Duo~
He's leaving me. I can tell from the way he looks as he walks in. So I did. I ruined the only chance I could have possibly had with him. I know he has feelings for me. He's just afraid to recognize them. Oh well. I always was a dumbass. Even Heero's said so. Countless times.
Heero's mouth opened, and I grimaced. He's got this look on his face. It's saying 'I'm gonna say something Duo won't like, that I don't like, but it's gotta be said, and I'm not changing my mind.
"Duo, I'm gonna say something you probably won't like, something that I'm not even sure *I* like, but it has to be said, and I've no intention of changing my mind." he said. Like he read my mind. I lauged. Well how 'bout that. Heero must like to express his feelings or something.
~Heero~
No!!! I can't stay with Duo! It'll be impossible for me! Plus, how do I know he won't try to come onto me again? He very well could. And that could be most uncomfortable. So I guess I'll buy an apartment of my own. Wait. Why do I have to be the one to leave. Why doesn't he? 'Because he's the one that pays the rent on this apartment!' a voice inside my head answered. Oh. Well in that case I guess *I'll* leave.
My mind made up, I walked back over to the apartment. When I went in, Duo took one look at my face and then looked like he was about to die from disappointment. I never realized my emotions showed up that clearly on my face. Oh well. If he can tell, then so much the easier for me. I began to speak.
~Duo~
"I've decided I'm gonna move out, get an apartment of my own. I'm sorry, but .... I ... I don't feel the..-the same way about you..And since it'd be too hard on the both of us if I stayed here...." Heero's voice trailed off, faded away. He didn't need to say anymore. I understood. Heero was leaving me, rejecting me.
~Heero~
Duo's face slowly crumpled as I talked. I knew he was about to cry, although I don't think he even realized it. And if he did, he was too embarrased to say anything. So I didn't say anything about it. After a few moments of silence, I walked over to my laptop and proceeded to enroll myself in a boarding school. It was only temporary. Just until I could find myself an apartment. And after the war, I could forget about him. Never see him again. Smiling rather unhappily to myself, I stood up, undressed myself, and crawled over to the bed to sleep. I closed my eyes, and as I did, I heard Duo turn out the light and leave the room. He was most likely depressed and didn't feel like speaking to me. And it was all my fault. All because of me. I whisphered into the darknes, "Gomen ne, Duo-kun. Maybe someday we can be friends again. Someday....."
© 2000 Sakura Maxwell Monday October 2, 2000 10:56 pm
PLEASE REVIEW!!!! FLAMES ACCEPTED!!!!!
by:~**Twilight Nuriko**~
AN: This will probably be one of the last yaoi inspired fics I do for awhile. Enjoy it while you can. Standard disclaimers apply. *1x2* Also, I wrote this on a whim after reading Blaze Of Glory, White Rose, and Angel on Vacation, so those of you who have read those might recognize a few things as being similiar to those stories.
~Duo~
I gulped as those intense cobalt blue eyes stared into mine. Rough fingers strayed to the lips, touched them softly, lingered awhile. The silence was rather nerve racking. I wished he would say something. Hell, I wouldn't even mind if he screamed at me. Anything to break the silence. I, myself, was too weak to speak. My courage had fled.
Finally he spoke. "Why?"
Just one word, and I was even more afraid than before.
Unnnaturally, I grinned. "Why what?"
"Why ....why did you that?" he asked me.
I shrugged indifferently. "Because I felt like it."
He didn't say anything, just nodded and walked over to that damned laptop. Someday I should get rid of that thing. It's such a nuisance.
I blinked in surprise at his back. That was it? No confrontation, no threats, no self-destructing? Damn. What a shock. Of course, he wasn't exactly expecting it. Maybe my mistake hadn't fully hit him yet.
~Heero~
Surprised, I just stared at Duo. I felt my lips tingling. What the hell was that? What just happened? I heard Duo gulp and watched him fidget. He was nervous. Afraid of me. I opened my mouth to speak. "Why?"
He grinned and then said, "Why what?"
"Why ....why did you do that?"
He shrugged. "Because I felt like it."
What kinda answer was that? I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything, just walked over to the laptop on our desk and pretended to be deeply involved in what I was doing. I was confused. Why did Duo do that? I mean, we're both guys, so ....I blushed as I realized what I was thinking about.
~Duo~
He's blushing! I don't believe it! I wonder why. What's he thinking about? Probably thinking about what a faggot I am. I laughed. 'You're such a baka, Duo! Now why did you kiss him? He'll probably hate you now. Of course, who can blame him? You probably scared him off!' I thought to myself.
"Duo ... I want a real answer. Why did you-"
I whirled around savagely. Embarrased. Of course. "No Heero!" I snarled.
He looked startled. "No what?"
"I'm not gonna answer that question. I .... I wanna be alone!" I blurted out as I fled outside and to the hangar about a minute away from the apartment Heero and I shared.
~Heero~
I stared in shock as Duo sped outside, his face flashing crimson. What the fuck was his problem? I deserve an answer, don't I? I shook it off and turned back to the laptop. Ten minutes later it was clear I wasn't getting any work done. Sighing, I got up and headed towards the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would help clear my head.
~Duo~
Fifteen minutes and I was back at the apartment. What is it in Heero that attracts me to him? Damn him! He actually manages to give me a hardon every time I *think* about him! When I walked in, however, Heero wasn't there. So where was he? I listened a bit, hoping to hear him somewhere. And presently I realized water was running. He was in the shower. I'm not as stupid as I look.
Resolutely, I went over to Heero's bed to sit and wait. I needed to talk to Heero, and now was as good a time as any.
~Heero~
Thirty minutes later and I finally crawl out of the shower. I'm starting to turn into Duo. Involuntary, I shuddered. Scary thought. When I finally came out, however, who should be waiting on the edge of *my* bed but Duo. I glared at him.
"Get off my bed!" I snarled at him.
He jumped a little guiltly and, for a moment, he looked like he was about to cry. But he quickly regained his composure.
"He-Heero, I', ready to t-talk."
I sighed in disgust. He's stuttering. The baka's afraid of me. Why in the hell is he always afraid of me? Damn it gets on my nerves!
"What is it Duo?" I asked him in a monotone. My voice of perfection. Took me seven years to perfect.
~Duo~
Damn. How long does it take for a shower? He's been in there for thirty minutes! Just as I was thinking this, the door opened and he walked out, and, seeing me, glared.
"Get off my bed!" he exclaimed.
Hmph! That was awfully rude of him! And after I waited for him all this time, too! 'Fine! See if I ever wait on you again, Mr. Heero Yuy Perfect Soldier!' I thought. That is, if I ever even *see* him again after this. I took a deep breath.
"He-Heero, I'm ready to t-talk." I said, stuttering like the frightened wimp that I am.
"What is it Duo?" he asked me without emotion.
"I need to go ahead and say what I'm about to say. And I don't want you to interrupt me or say anything until I'm through speaking. Okay?"
"No."
I gulped. No? Now what the *hell* was I suppos't to say to *that*?
~Heero~
I almost laughed out loud at the look on his face when I told him 'No'. No doubt he's confused now. I could see he didn't know what to say, so I said something for him.
"No, it's not okay but I get the feeling you're gonna say it anyway so go ahead and say it."
*Now* came relief. He opened his mouth.
"For the past several months now, I've found you've occupied my thoughts more often than you usually do. Then I began to find myself strongly attracted to you. I didn't understand it at first, and denied it. But pretty soon I found I couldn't ignore those feelings. I wanted you, Heero, I wanted you so bad it hurt. Just being around you got painful. I couldn't understand it. Why the hell was I so attracted to you, so infatuated with getting you?"
~Duo~
I watched his face as I spoke. Totally emotionless. Pure silence. Unbelievable. Even as I confessed my feelings for him, the baka didn't even react. That's Heero for you. Mr. Stoic. He and Trowa would make a great couple.
At one point Heero opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I held up my hand. "Don't interrupt me Heero. I'm not finished yet." He closed his mouth. I continued. "Then just a few days ago, I finally realized the answer. I loved you, Heero. Why or how I don't exactly know, but I love you and everything about you, with all my heart and soul." At this he started. Finally! A little reaction! I proceeded on, "A-And then today, it just slipped out. I couldn't control my damn impulses. I'll understand if you don't feel the same way about me, I don't even expect you to. And if you wanna leave and forget about me, then go. I'm stopping you." I finally shut up, and just watched him for some kind of inclination in which his feelings lay.
~Heero~
He finally shut up. I just stared, I was too shocked to even feel disgusted. Duo *loved* me? But.....that's not right, is it? He's not supposed to love me, ne? We're both guys, so he can't....but he does. Why? And how do I feel about him? Even though he's not pressing me, he wants an answer. Yet I don't have one to give him. What could I say to him? Before I was ready to answer though, my tongue began to form words.
"Duo.....I..-I need time to think things out."
He just nodded, doing some damn sympathy thing. "I understand Heero. I'll be hear when you come back."
*When* I come back? Not *if* I come back? What makes him think I'm definitely coming back? Hell, I could leave him in a second. But I won't. I feel like I owe him some kinda answer.
~Duo~
I totally messed up. I just know it. Damn my loud mouth. I just hope Heero comes back. Why did I have to open my big mouth and tell him I loved him? Why, dammit, why?! I'm such a baka. I probably just ruined the only chance I had with him.
~Heero~
This can't be right, can it? I've never thought of Duo in that way before. Hell, I barely even considered him a friend. And now he tells me he's in love with me? What can I say to *that*? No way this is right. No way. Two guys can't be in love. It's just not right. But if that's so, Heero, then what about Quatre and Trowa? But they're different. How? How are they different? They're guys too. Just like you and Duo. No. No way! I'm not in love with Do, and I'm not gonna allow myself to fall in love with that annoying, braided Shinigami. I'm just not gonna allow myself to. And to make sure, I'm gonna leave him. Great that makes it sound like we're together! I'll move out and get my own damn place. But why do I feel so reluctant to leave him? I don't feel anything for him. Not even friendship. So why?
~Duo~
He's leaving me. I can tell from the way he looks as he walks in. So I did. I ruined the only chance I could have possibly had with him. I know he has feelings for me. He's just afraid to recognize them. Oh well. I always was a dumbass. Even Heero's said so. Countless times.
Heero's mouth opened, and I grimaced. He's got this look on his face. It's saying 'I'm gonna say something Duo won't like, that I don't like, but it's gotta be said, and I'm not changing my mind.
"Duo, I'm gonna say something you probably won't like, something that I'm not even sure *I* like, but it has to be said, and I've no intention of changing my mind." he said. Like he read my mind. I lauged. Well how 'bout that. Heero must like to express his feelings or something.
~Heero~
No!!! I can't stay with Duo! It'll be impossible for me! Plus, how do I know he won't try to come onto me again? He very well could. And that could be most uncomfortable. So I guess I'll buy an apartment of my own. Wait. Why do I have to be the one to leave. Why doesn't he? 'Because he's the one that pays the rent on this apartment!' a voice inside my head answered. Oh. Well in that case I guess *I'll* leave.
My mind made up, I walked back over to the apartment. When I went in, Duo took one look at my face and then looked like he was about to die from disappointment. I never realized my emotions showed up that clearly on my face. Oh well. If he can tell, then so much the easier for me. I began to speak.
~Duo~
"I've decided I'm gonna move out, get an apartment of my own. I'm sorry, but .... I ... I don't feel the..-the same way about you..And since it'd be too hard on the both of us if I stayed here...." Heero's voice trailed off, faded away. He didn't need to say anymore. I understood. Heero was leaving me, rejecting me.
~Heero~
Duo's face slowly crumpled as I talked. I knew he was about to cry, although I don't think he even realized it. And if he did, he was too embarrased to say anything. So I didn't say anything about it. After a few moments of silence, I walked over to my laptop and proceeded to enroll myself in a boarding school. It was only temporary. Just until I could find myself an apartment. And after the war, I could forget about him. Never see him again. Smiling rather unhappily to myself, I stood up, undressed myself, and crawled over to the bed to sleep. I closed my eyes, and as I did, I heard Duo turn out the light and leave the room. He was most likely depressed and didn't feel like speaking to me. And it was all my fault. All because of me. I whisphered into the darknes, "Gomen ne, Duo-kun. Maybe someday we can be friends again. Someday....."
© 2000 Sakura Maxwell Monday October 2, 2000 10:56 pm
PLEASE REVIEW!!!! FLAMES ACCEPTED!!!!!