Yikes. Hinata is by far the hardest character for me to write about. I actually had this scene all written out (twice), but decided to redo it, time and time again.
In all actuality, she's everything both right and wrong with a female "fighter" sort of character, both determined at risk of death, strong and such, but not in a consistant way. When she's not in that God-mode (well... Goddess), she's really a bit of a sympathy-gaining, pathetic weakling.
And she realizes it. In a way, I can relate to her, but the big difference is that I refuse to lay down and die, so to speak. Granted, she does, too, but half the time... she just gives up.
Make sense?
I'm writing this before I start the actual fic, in an attempt to explain herself in a way I can wrap around to create a flowing scene. The consistancy is difficult, let me tell you, keeping her in character every step of the way when she's so...well...versatile. Pathetically, admirably versatile.
...Is that even possible?
Anyhoo, I probably epically failed... but I tried. Sooo...review? -nervous laugh-
I present (with trepidation);
Inverted Nightmares;
Rare are the nights she cannot sleep, when she has dreams that differ from her norm. Rare are the nights an epiphany strikes, consciousness grasping at straws.
-
It was a rare night that Hyuuga Hinata could not sleep; usually, her dreams were more of a reality that had been lampshaded to mock her.
One could call them nightmares... but nightmares usually woke the person having them, at the very least disrupting their sleep as it changed from one scenario to another.
This night.
She did not live the dream, and the dream was not of her waking hours, put upon her imagination to twist, adding unwanted drama. It was with some irony that the one nightmare she had would be what her life was not.
And it was confusing.
Confusing, yes. A very appropriate term for it. Befuddling the mind, as the mind is unsure what to do about the situation, unsure if it has understood.
Uncertainty.
How befitting.
She realized her weaknesses, and they did not need to be told to her time and time again by the person who should be comforting her. Wasn't there supposed to be a difference between stern and cruel?
She realized her lack of willpower, and it was not without it's pride (which, sadly, usually got shot down soon after) that she was able to change that on several occasions.
And she realized how unfit to be an heiress she was, and understood precisely why concern for her health had dropped miles once her sister had been born.
So then why was it her dreams centered around her life, people belittling her and underestimating (or, occasionally over-estimating...) her abilities, while her nightmares were of her in a completely different life with none of the weight belonging to "Hinata-sama" upon her shoulders?
With no one to tell her she was wrong to try and change herself, wrong for being an heiress to a powerful clan when she was so pathetic.
No one to be surprised when she finally did something right, to look at her in a new light instead of it being an all-common occurance...
And it was fear that kept her awake this night.
This night...
It was fear of the strange world, so different from her own, that brought back the sanity and the dreams of her own life.
-
Alright, my first reviewer pointed out several things (thanks for that ) and it made me sortof realize I didn't entirely explain things as well as I could have... however, I have to point out something I said in my response. I have to. xD
This isn't so I can highlight my zomgwit, mind you, it's just that I realized it might be hard to get; in my mind, it's not, but only because I know where I'm coming from... for people just reading the story, not getting the parts behind the lines, it's important to point out several things.
First and foremost, this is meant to be a highly psychological fic, and delving into someone's mind doesn't always bring about things that make sense. Sometimes, just the opposite; with nightmares, things get even more complicated. All dreams have different rules in them; flying is possible, squares can be circles, etc, etc.
It makes them hard to write while still making sense or having some form of comedy to it, you know? It's also one of the reasons Nightmares are so terrifying. There are no rules to them, and the only fact set in stone is that they are supposed to shock, disturb or frighten you. They are your fears.
In a world with no rules, things can get extremely out of control... sometimes, the Nightmare is you being some all-powerful person destroying your friends in squicky ways.
Well, the idea of this nightmare was that instead of being belittled, being weak, Hinata was strong, and always did things right.
In a world like that, there's no room for true growth, and Hinata realizes this. She realizes that despite how much she dislikes constantly being looked down upon, constantly messing up, it's her own way of growing, and getting stronger. She realizes that despite how bitter she is about it, she needs it.
Or at least, she does subconsciously. And THAT is the point of the story.
It was also more focusing on the ways of dreams; things don't always make sense, but at the same time, they're extremely perceptive and deep if you read into them.
Thankyou, Sphyma, for the review. ) I realized it was probably a bit on the vague side, but me being the author, of course it made sense. /Shrug, so thankyou, I needed my bubble burst. XD Seriously, I did.
Oh, and thanks for the review. D