Sophie froze at the sound of mixed voices. She ducked behind a tree and swung up in the branches to get a better view. A few yards away, a black-clad human with gray hair that seemed to defy gravity was surrounded by a mixture of sentient beings all pointing their weapons at him. He held up six-fingered hands in surrender. Sophie's eyes widened. He was older, but…she recognized him from his wanted posters. Stanford Pines, armed and dangerous. Some dimensions were willing to pay a pretty penny for his capture, something he had evaded for nearly 30 years. This would be an interesting challenge…

"Your valuables or your life," rasped a lizard-like creature.

Sophie dug around in her pack, hoping to cause a distraction. If she turned this guy in, the reward money would last her for months.

"I have nothing that you want," Stanford replied.

"Seize him!" hissed the lizard. The bandits grabbed Stanford's arms and forced him to his knees.

Sophie's fingers clasped around the handle of a megaphone. Perfect. "I wouldn't do that if I were you!" she boomed in the deepest voice she could muster.

The bandits paused, looking around in fear. "Who said that?" cried their leader.

"It is I, Kardosia, the goddess of the blade! The one who you now try to oppress has found favor with me! Release him, or I shall release you from life!" Sophie stifled a laugh at the bandits' fearful expressions.

One of them, a giant weasel, spoke up. "I've never heard of you before, goddess! Show yourself!"

"I do not reveal my form to mere mortals! Release that man, or I will reveal myself in the blades that end your lives! That is my final answer!"

The bandits hesitated. Some of them began to step back. Sophie drew a knife from her belt and threw it at the weasel that had spoken up. It sunk into his chest up to the handle, a perfect hit. He fell without a sound.

The other bandits panicked. "The goddess's wrath! Quick, run, before she destroys us all!" They fled, leaving Stanford alone.

He took out a leather-bound book and pen and looked around excitedly. "Uh, goddess, if you really are a goddess, I would like to ask you a few questions…if you don't mind."

Sophie rolled her eyes and swung down from the tree. "Jeez, you fell for it too? I must have been really convincing." She smirked at Stanford's surprised expression.

"How did you project your voice like that?"

"Easy, I had a megaphone."

Stanford lifted an eyebrow. "You carry a megaphone with you all the time?"

Sophie shrugged. "I carry lots of things. My bag is bigger on the inside."

"Incredible! Where did you learn to throw a knife like that?"

"Gosh, so many questions! How about a thanks for saving your life?"

"Well, thanks…but I did have a plan."

Sophie snorted. "That's not what I saw. They were going to drag you off, take anything valuable you might have had, and probably turn you over to the slave market or something. Oh, and fun fact about lizard people: they can smell valuables. So either that thing strapped to your back is really precious, or you have diamonds in your pockets." She pulled her knife out of the weasel's corpse and wiped off the blade.

Stanford was busy scribbling on his...well, to be honest it looked like a diary. "How did you find that out about lizard people?"

This "legendary man" was turning out to be a huge nerd. "Is interrogative the only type of sentence you know how to speak?"

Ford frowned. "No, I'm just curious about you. At least tell me your name."

Sophie sighed. "My name is Sophie, but don't go around telling people that."

"I'm Ford."

Interesting choice of nickname. "Nice to meet you, Ford." Sophie reached out for a handshake.

Ford just stuck his book in his coat. "I-don't shake hands."

"Hm, okay. So, where were you headed before those jerks tried to rob you?"

"Just up the road."

"Ever been to this dimension before?"

Ford stepped back. "How do you know that I'm not from this dimension?"

"I've been here for weeks, and you're the first human I've seen. Plus, you're wearing way too many layers for this kind of environment."

Ford rested a hand on the gun at his hip. "Why did you stop those bandits?"

Sophie shrugged. "Eh, I would have helped anyone out of a bind like that." Anyone with a good bounty on them.

"Well, um, thank you. But I should be on my way."

"If you're looking for the nearest wormhole, I can help you out."

"Really?"

"Yeah, there was one back there a few weeks ago. It's still there, if my little doohicky that detects wormholes is working right."

"Where did you get that? I had to build mine from scratch."

"Oh, someone gave it to me." Involuntarily. Technically it was stolen, but Ford didn't need to know the details. "Wait a minute, you built yours? So what, you're some kind of genius?"

Ford seemed a little flustered. "I just know a lot about tweaking technology."

"Cool. By the way, we should probably head out now before those bandits realize that I'm not a goddess. Plus, it takes a couple of days to get to that wormhole hot spot."

"Right, yes." Ford paused when Sophie walked beside him. "I can find my own way from here, thanks."

"Oh, come on. You look like you could use some company. Plus, I can help keep you from getting robbed again."

Ford snorted. "I can take care of myself. Even if you hadn't showed up, I could have gotten away somehow. It's not as if I haven't been captured before."

"Yeah, but you would have been robbed at the very least. And at worst those bandits would have taken you into the woods and shot you before you could carry out any escape plan. Did you think of that, smart guy?"

"Oh, believe me, I would have escaped. I've been in worse binds and gotten out just fine."

"Well all the same, I'll just keep you company for at least a few days."

"As much as I would appreciate the company, it's too dangerous."

Sophie raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"I'm constantly on the move and well, you saw what happened just a few minutes ago. I'm in enough danger as it is, and I wouldn't want harm to come to you because you're traveling with me."

Sophie put her hands on her hips. "Listen up, smart guy. I've been dimension hopping on my own for four years, since I was twelve. In case you haven't noticed, I'm still alive. Also in case you haven't noticed, I just saved your butt. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that two is always better than one in a fight. If you're so concerned about my safety, how about you let me come along with you at least until you get to that wormhole. Capiche?"

Ford let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine."

"And if I do get in trouble, you can just blame me, because I insisted on coming with you."

"Fair enough." Ford walked on in silence.

Sophie pushed away her frustration at being treated like a child to focus on coming up with a good plan to turn Ford in. Physical force wouldn't work. Sophie was strong, but Ford was a good head taller than she was. She would have to use trickery. Then there was the question of where. Hopefully the wormhole she came through would take them back to the dimension she'd been to before. She stole some glances of Ford, and at the huge case strapped across his back that Sophie assumed was for a gun. "So, what kind of gun is that?"

Ford shook his head as if startled from his own thoughts. "It's a quantum destabilizer, designed to disassemble the molecules of any kind of being."

"Wow, what are you planning to kill?"

"Bill." Ford spat out the name like a curse.

"Oh, you mean that annoying demon that's shaped like a corn chip?"

"Yes. He tried to use me to destroy my home dimension. I've been searching for years for a way to stop him. I just need to find the right parts for this weapon and Bill is a goner."

"You need parts, eh?" An idea began to form in Sophie's scheming mind. "The dimension we're heading into has a black market, and depending on what you need, I might be able to hook you up with some connections."

Ford's face lit up so much that Sophie almost felt guilty. "That sounds great! That would definitely speed up the process."

They spent the rest of the evening with Ford listing what parts he would need and Sophie half listening and half plotting how to turn Ford in without him realizing it before it was too late…and without getting caught herself. They found a grove of trees to camp in and built a small fire. Ford took first watch, and Sophie drifted into a fitful sleep.