Vhenan
The slight ruffling of pages and soft crowing of birds above were the only things to be heard in Solas's small alcove. Everyone who usually spent their time on the upper floors had gone to the Herald's Rest to celebrate the unparalleled victory in the Exalted Plains. Varric had of course invited Solas to join, but the elf instead kindly excused himself and sat at his usual spot organizing his already neat desk. He decided that his time would be better spent cleaning and finishing the rather large mural partially painted on the wall. Solas held back a weighted sigh as he stood and reached for his paints. His fingers gingerly pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried in vain to stave off the growing headache behind his eyes.
"Perhaps I should have accepted that drink after all." He laughed to himself.
It had been a rather long day for Solas, but time spent with his Vhenan was never a waste to him. All day he had been either closing rifts, fighting Freeman of the Dales, or loudly disagreeing with the Keeper of the Dalish, and through it all she stood firmly at his side.
He smiled faintly, remembering her laughter when she entered the rotunda a few weeks prior to find a sopping wet and fuming Solas; another poor victim of Sera's obnoxious pranks. After hearing her giggle about the state of things while she searched for a dry towel, he had suddenly forgotten what he was once so mad about. Somehow, she made the good days great and the bad days bearable to him.
Almost as if on cue, the door burst open to reveal a drunk and rather loud Inquisitor Lavellan.
"No man can beat The Chargers, cause we'll hit you where it hurts! Unless you know a tavern with loose cards and looser skirts!" She sang off key, her voice magnifying in the nearly empty room.
"Vhenan! What happened?" Solas said as fumbled to quickly set his supplies down. The Inquisitor stumbled forward, her almost full tankard of ale spilling onto the floor.
"The… steel cow. Ya know, the big one!" Levallan slurred before taking a long pull from the mug.
"The Iron Bull, perhaps?" Solas slowly prompted, taking long strides towards his love.
"That's the one! How did you know?!" She laughed, lifting the cup for another drink.
"Few people could fill such a fitting description." He said, struggling to find the correct words. She shrugged, her long red hair falling in front of her face and depositing the remaining liquid in the cup onto the floor.
"I think I'll be taking that from you." Solas said reaching for the cup, smiling despite the now interrupted plans and sticky workspace. The mage had never seen his Vhenan act this way, her usual level headed and calm demeanor completely swept away in a mixture of ale and music. He firmly set the large mug down before closing the remaining distance between them.
"Clearly, the Dalish aren't known for their alcohol tolerance." Solas chuckled, as he grabbed her hand and wrapped the other protectively around her waist.
"You should have come, Vhenan! Sera said she knew you wouldn't when Varric asked. Something about being too chicken to really lose it." Lavellan said matter of factly, letting Solas slowly lead her towards her chambers.
"Oh, did she now?" He replied, his eyes rolling.
"Don't worry, I defended you," she said pushing him away and nearly falling down the steps.
"I said that you could really lose it if you wanted to. Then The Iron Bull said that since I talked so big, I had to drink for the both of us or else he'd come up here and drag you out. "
"Well, thank you Vhenan, for defending my helpless honor. However, I think that you should leave me to fight my own battles from now on though." He said, holding her up as she fought to find footing in her inebriated state.
"I feel fine, love. Completely fine."
"I'm sure you do, however I believe some water and a soft bed are in order."
"You take such good care of me." She said, reaching to pat him on the cheek and instead causing Solas to dodge Lavellan's ill timed fist from colliding with his jaw.
What seemed like an eternity later the couple finally reached the top step, both breathing heavily.
"Come, my heart. Almost there." Solas said dragging her towards the bed. Half standing, half carrying he led her to the large Orleasian frame by the wall and sat her gently on top of it. Stooping down to unlace her heavy boots from her feet, he shook his head and chuckled.
"You're so sweet...and kind..and handsome…" She said, her drunken mind slurring all the words into one long procession.
"I have a remedy that will help your head in the morning, I also ha-." His sentence was abruptly cut short when the Inquisitor suddenly grabbed his face with both hands and planted a heavy kiss onto his lips. His once preoccupied mind emptied and was left with only one thought; "This girl will be the death of me."
Her kisses had always been soft and innocent, made in passing before a mission or immediately after returning. The one time they had held a kiss longer than a few seconds in public, Dorian's whistle had been enough to stop Lavellan's briefs visits for a week. Solas had always meant to pay Dorian back for that one.
This kiss however, wasn't at all like the others. It was heavy and passionate, her earlier escapades making it taste heavily of ale from the tavern. Her arms wrapped strongly behind his head, locking the blushing elf into her firm grip.
The logical side of Solas begged that he end it, lest he get too carried away and forget why he came here in the first place. He had held back every want, every wayward thought, every feeling he wanted to express to his Vhenan all for the sake of his purpose. Everytime it had felt like knives being dug into his heart, trying to resist pulling her close and refusing to let her leave his side ever again.
Despite knowing better, he deepened the kiss, his hands sliding up her back to rest on her waist and in her tangled locks. Time and time again he had wanted to do just this, to kiss her with abandon and recklessness they could never afford. Wars, death, Corypheus and lies always stood between Solas and that one little push into a hopeless love from which he would never recover.
Despite every part of him wanting this moment to last, he gently pulled away, breaking her hold from around his neck. She looked into his eyes, her confusion evident in her own despite the alcohol dulling her senses.
"It is late, Vhenan. You will likely not remember this in the morning." He said, finally pulling her shoes off and standing to set them in the corner.
"Solas….." She trailed off, her eyebrows furrowing in concern.
"Don't worry. I'm alright my love. It's high time you slept however." He said walking over to the bed and pulling down the covers. The Inquisitor nodded sleepily, her head already sagging from one side to the other. Slowly she made her way to the top of the bed and laid down where Solas had pulled the covers away.
"Goodnight Ma Vhenan. Sleep well." He said tucking her in. As he turned to leave, she caught his hand, her grip surprisingly strong for someone so close to sleep.
"Would you stay with me, Solas? Just until I fall asleep." Lavellan whispered, her voice timid.
For someone who had passionately kissed the woman in front of him just moments earlier, the elf was quite taken aback.
"I'm not sure if that is the best decision." He said carefully.
"Please…" She replied, her hand tightening around his. The way she had said it pulled at his heart strings, begging him to stay.
"Alright, Vhenan. Just until you fall asleep." He smiled softly. He sat on the bed, wrapping his arms around the woman he loved, leaning his head on the heavy wooden bed frame.
Her emerald eyes closed contentedly as she snuggled closer to his chest. He listened as her breath slowly evened out and became consistent with a deep sleep. Still he sat, his hand delicately running through her thick hair, willing himself to walk away.
How could she do this to him every time? Every logical thought flitted away the moment she asked anything of him. In truth he could have left her bed ages ago, but he couldn't bear to leave her alone. He knew what he would eventually have to do to her and it shattered his heart to think about it. How would she react when she walked into that large stone room only to find his chair empty and collecting dust? Would she cry for him, wondering if she could have done anything to change his mind? How could he leave her alone now when only a few peaceful moments remained before the inevitable storm?
A lone tear slowly slid down his chiseled face, landing on his cotton shirt.
"I truly am a monster." He said aloud, his voice low and broken.
Quietly he untangled himself from his sleeping Vhenan, placing one last kiss on her forehead before turning to leave. He hesitated before descending the steps, turning to look at her in such a peaceful state.
"I will never forget you." He said before walking down the steps and leaving his love behind.