Wha-what's this? Is The Zodiac Princess actually coming out with a NEW story? Bah-humbug, you say. Well, if you can read the text of which I am typing, then yeah-I'm writing a new story. I should probably finish my others first. . . Well, whatever. I'm more into writing this one anyway. I've had this idea in my head for a while, and I hope it turns out as zealous as I plan on it to be. I promise you that this isn't going to be a quick dialog-only story. There's actually going to be a real plot and emotions. But you be the judge, 'kay? 'Kay.
Title: Fish Out Of Water
By: The Zodiac Princess (Muah! Points to myself)
Rating: You have to be at least this height (My shoulders) to ride.
Genre: Humor/Romance/Adventure-the essentials.
Couplet(s): Straight up Hameron & Wuddy. Everyone needs a little love.
Archives: A bizarre cataclysm on the set sends actors Hugh and Jennifer into the world of House. In exchange, Dr. House & Dr. Cameron are accidentally brought to our world. Can the duos learn to survive and adapt, or will they be so caught up in the drama that they miss their only chance to return home? RnR, no flames plz.
Disclaimer: If I told you I owned them, would it keep the readers reading? Aw well, too bad I don't own them then. Although I'd love to get some action figures. Maybe one with a detachable cane for House, detachable clothes for Cuddy…Detachable hair for…mumbles off
(One final note; this story consists of producing characters, so it'd be best if you know who some of them are. Wiki is a good start)
Follow me to a world where the twists of fate may actually be a good thing…
Chapter One:
It had taken David Shore nearly 25 years or so to compile a sitcom where the good guy wasn't actually a good guy, but rather one who showed such animosity his life, his work and those around him. It was, at first, risky; everyone loves the main character-that is, if the intended purpose is to indeed like him. But he was realistic. He knew that not every soldier was good-spirited and protagonistic. If we were all of the above, then we would not need for such comedic and dramatic hospital programming. We would grow tired of seeing 'ourselves' save another and thus, go out to complete the similar deeds of the protagonist. His work on NYPD Blue was but a mere touchstone into the 'Don Quixote' fantasy we all have been dreaming. Needless to say, he despised it.
It takes originality with a bit of creativity to make it in the media industry. Don't rely on this journalist; see for yourself. Within the past 30 years, we have made similar shows with similar dialogs repetitively. Lawyer shows, such as The Practice & Boston Legal convey a similar message but with different characters. Though the plots may be somewhat diversified, we still rely on these similar shows for our amusement. And it works for the American people. Why? We lack much praise and confidence in the innovative and distinct sitcoms, for we fear that the idea of being that of creativity and, well…different…is like a death sentence on our heads. We rely on what we have seen to be a success in order to teach us what WILL be successful. Television networks use this method of apprehensive behavior to justify their ratings (or lack thereof sometimes). An example would be the television show Dancing With the Stars. When ABC debuted the show to the American public, many of us were drawn in to its variety of genres; the humor, the adventure, the drama and so on. Not long after did FOX reveal its newest show Skating With Celebrities. Same concepts, but this time, the celebrities were forced to risk every tooth and nail in attempt to bring in ratings. The fight for the top became obvious, and the idea came to be that the only way to succeed is to steal what's theirs and make it your own.
But Shore never saw television that way. He hated this concept, this idea, this lifestyle. Throughout his whole producing career, directors, other producers, screen writers and everyone else told him that the way to meet fame is to snatch it out from another. When he would ask why, production crews would shrug slightly and reply 'That's how it works.' It didn't work like that-not to David. Perhaps he was naïve at the time, but he kept the firm belief of 'One's own creation is one's own creation'. Nothing more, nothing less. All he wanted out of this job, or rather this life, was to make a television show that would define him. His dream was to be known as a creative and ingenious producer who can make audiences burst into laughter one minute, while making them fall to their knees with tears in the next. It was different, it was unique, it was risky. And it's what he truly wanted out of this career.
David thought about that and knew that it would get him into trouble. And it did…
Our loving and caring producer had stayed up well beyond his bedtime, writing a script for the next episode. He sat up in his Egyptian cotton bed, his knees bent forward, holding the blank pieces of paper at an angle. The matching lamp beside him was the only lit object in the room. His reading glasses resting gently on the tip of his nose, as his eyes were narrowed and determined. The pencil in his right hand did more erasing than actual writing. This, to David's distaste, would cause him to grumble during every erase mark he had gestured. His wife, Judy, sitting beside him in somewhat of the same manner. Her legs were stretched out and parallel to one another. Her body snuggled comfortably within the covers, reading the newest of her Danielle Steele novels. She remained quiet but attentive to her husband's frustration, every once in a while, looking up from her novel and then returning to it shortly after.
It was late; too late for him and his wife. The weather channel announced windy conditions to begin well into the later hours of the night. Loud cracks of wind in the back round were ignored by David but not by his wife. Judy would look up at the window every once in a while and just watch the neighbor's tree blow from side to side.
It had grown quiet in the bedroom. Both busy with other obligations. That is, until David let out a frustrated rumble, causing his wife to snap out of the story. She looked over at him, quickly erasing one of his many mistakes. Biting her lip, she turned back to her book and attempted to continue. "It's not going so well, huh?"
"No it's not," David grumbled, his eyes focused on the skid-marked paper. He looked up at her, noticing her focus on the novel gripped between her fingers. "Hey…How come you've never showed that much interest in my novels?"
"What novels are those, dear?" She asked, still focused on her book.
"My screen writes."
"Well, when you actually write something down, I'll take a look," She grinned to the 32nd page of her book.
David glared at her, surprised by her smart-ass like sarcasm. Utterly speechless for the first few seconds, listening to his wife softly giggle to herself. "Ouch. That was uncalled for. I'll have you know that I DO have something written down."
"Oh?" Her eyes perked up, almost interested. "Let's have at it, then."
"No. Not yet. I'm still, uh…writing the ending."
"Hmmm…" She smirked, her eyes drifting off to the bedroom door. "I see…so that's what has you so dismantled? The lack of a great ending?"
"Not JUST a great ending," He corrected as he stretched out his legs. "FOX is FINALLY permitting our request to do a Christmas spoof for the holiday season."
"Your request?"
"Well, no. It was Katie's idea for the most part. I didn't necessarily oppose the idea. So they assumed I was a hundred percent for it."
"And you're not?"
"I knew I'd be the one who had the obligation of writing it," He sighed, gesturing to his pad and pencil. "And as you can clearly see…"
She nodded. "That I can. What have you got planned for us viewers?"
He arched a brow. "So now you watch the show? Now you know a thing or two about the plots?"
"Shut up and tell me what you've got planned."
He laughed, remembering how innocent she was when they met. Times have certainly changed from that day to now. And as he looks at her, he can't help but recall.
"Sorry, dear, I'm not at liberty to spill spoilers to a potential viewer." He replied sarcastically, knowing that she's never really sat down and watched it. She began to pout or ask him one of the hundreds of questions she usually does ask him, but he cut her off. "-But, what I will tell you is that the hospital will host a Christmas Party slash ball slash elder prom."
"Ahhh, I see says the blind man," she leaned forward, no longer interested in her book. "Who have you got going with whom?"
David's eyes widen. "Uhh…" Carefully, they drifted back to his grey piece of paper. "…I don't know yet. I guess I haven't thought that far ahead."
He gave her a weak smile to which she couldn't return. She was a quick one, she was. Always determined to get what she wanted when she did without drawing that much attention onto herself. She played innocent, especially with David. Doing so, she picked up her book, now faking an interest in it. She glanced down angelically. A moment of silence had gone by, both returning to their work. Mumbling under her breath, she suggested "Hmm…well…if you're sane, you make Dr. House and Cameron go together. Great chemistry, great romance. Yes-good plan. Glad that's settled."
David paused, hearing every word his wife had said. He raised his head, first looking at the dresser on the opposite side of the room. His mouth was slightly dropped, once again realizing Judy's manipulations were as slick and coy as she was dishing them out. His eyes drifted over to her, his expression exactly as it was. "…What was that?"
"Oh, nothing," She assured him confidently. "I was just giving you some advice. Rational advice, to clarify."
"You were giving me advice?"
"Uh-huh."
It was then that all the pieces of the puzzle fell together. He thought she never watched but she had more secrets than his cast of characters could hold. He knew then why she had said that, why it became so incredibly obvious. He parted his lips to form a wider smile. "Oh my God, Judy…you're a House & Cameron fan, aren't you?"
A smirk came across of lips as her fingers turned the page carefully. "Hmm…Am I? Is that what you call it? Nothing gets by you, Dave."
"But…I thought you never watched it. You told me you've rarely seen the show. You told me you couldn't watch it because of work." He was now extremely confused. He really did want to make these two star crossed characters and he never thought for a second that his wife had been in on it the whole time. Granted, he would've asked for her expertise had he known of her participation. "How long have you been watching?"
"Since the second season," She replied, matter-of-factly. "You know, the Shore name brings a lot of praise to the office. You wouldn't believe how many people came up to be and gave me suggestions to give to you."
"Like what?"
"About how Cuddy is turning into an office slut with her clothes, how Foreman needs to pull the stick out of his ass and so on and so on. But the one suggestion I had gotten the most was how happy they were with the House & Cameron saga. They were amazed that I hadn't watched, and so they sat me down and…birth of a nation right then and there."
"They told you that?"
"Yes. They also want you to 'give the people what they want'," Judy sighed, gesturing quotations with her index and middle fingers. "I guess to them, 'the people' can be represented by all twenty three of my co-workers."
"The women in your office hardly constitute anything which may be even close to representing the public," He told her, nonchalantly.
Judy paused before opening her mouth again. What she felt was a tug-of-war with an idea that had him fighting. She knew his plan, or at least she thought she knew. Though, it was expected to be whoever was to come as one would be more as bonus to the show, rather than a whole plotline. In all honestly, she preferred to actually see the cases rather than camera interaction, but it was indeed, a bonus. "So…Who are you putting together?"
He paused in midair, as if to consider, but not loose his place within his writing. "I'm doing what's in the best interest of the show."
"That doesn't answer my question. Come on, dear, I'm curious. Who are you hoping will be romantically involved within the series?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes, it does, Dave. Your opinion matters and your frustration for the lack of an ending doesn't make it less valid."
"Regardless, I can't simply give the minority what the majority desires," He stretched out his legs once more, slightly frustrated, not at her, but more at his lack of decision making. "I have to go with what the people want. Katie might be on the right track and I would hate to lose my viewers because of something idiotic. And if they want what she's pushing fo-"
"-What's Katie pushing for?" Judy cut in curiously.
Cracks of wind snapped the trees which would every so often cause the branches to scrape the glass. The atmosphere was dark and spooky, but neither were intimidated. Or perhaps they were far too busy into their debate to even notice. Judy set down the book on the table beside her bed and turned to David, who remained quiet the entire time. He rubbed his forehead and eyes out of tiredness. "She, uh…she's pushing…for Dr. House & Dr. Cuddy…"
Judy went silent. She didn't know whether to laugh or to keep the confused expression on her face. Her nose scrunched slightly at the thought of them together. Such a reaction would not have been made possible a few years ago. Her eyes stayed on her husband, who curled up his legs once more and continued writing. "Oh…"
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"What do you think?"
She shrugged, her head tilting towards to the scratched bedroom window. "It's not my show."
"I know."
"It's yours."
"I know that too."
"So, it's about what YOU want," His wife reasoned sternly. "It doesn't matter what everyone thinks, Dave. What matters is what makes you comfortable, or what makes it easier for you to write. If you honestly believe that if you did put Dr. Cuddy with Dr. House, and it was the only way to keep viewers, then you are less intelligent than I could ever imagine."
Dave cocked his head at her, leaving both of them chagrinned. "Huh?"
"Dave, have you forgotten what your show's even about? Perhaps that's why you've been having so much troubling writing your script. You forgot what made the show what it is today. The doctors get patients, finds out what the problem is, gives them medicine which ends up making them worse, gives them different medicine, they almost die until the very last scene when Doctor House comes up with the answer and saves the day. For God's sake, Dave, tell Katie to shove it and stop breathing down your neck! She's loved Doctor Cuddy well before you created her. Come on, Doctor House, this isn't difficult!"
He laughed, offering his pad and paper. "Alright, Doctor Cameron, if you're such a genius, then you can write the script for me."
Instantly, she pushed out her hands in rejection. "No way, Jose. I don't do paperwork, and neither should my character. Which reminds me, why has Cameron been getting the paper load recently?"
"I'm trying to be a realistic as possible in character perspectives."
"Exactly. I never did paperwork for you."
He smirked. "What? You used to do my work for me all the time."
"Yes, work implies 'running your favors, making your coffee, bearing your children, and putting up with you'," Her lips curled into a smile. "Cameron's done most of that when it comes to Doctor House. And I've done all of that when it comes to YOU."
"Hey, when I agreed to base the doctors off of real people, I told you that not everything would transfer over," He leaned in, pointing to the tip of her nose. "Take Doctor Chase, for instance. Jake was absolutely NOT an attractive Aussie with a body that women would scream for."
"I enjoyed it," She bit her lip playfully, remembering their year long relationship before her marriage to Dave.
His eyes slightly narrowed at her response, as if she wanted him to believe that she still acquired feelings for him. "Right…And I don't need to explain why I had put Doctors Cameron & Chase together…ahem…You know, I never told you how I felt when you and Jake left the NYPD Blue set…"
"I think what you told Jake was clear enough…you fired him…"
"Well, I fired him because..." He sighed. Time to man up to his actions of the past. "…Because I was tired of seeing you two together. I figured that if I fired him, I'd…yeah…That didn't work out well…you left too…"
His wife's eyes widen out of surprise. She had assumed his reasons for firing Jake was because they were always bumping heads with the staff. Never in a million years could she have imagined his reasoning for firing Jake was because he was jealous. Her breath was quiet, as was much of the outdoors by this point. Gathering up the remainder of her conscious mind, she spoke much more softly. "Yeah…but we came back…"
"Because you threatened me!" He exclaimed. "You told me that if I didn't hire Jake back, you would leave. And when you ended up leaving, I had to hire him back."
"So…you brought him back not because of your life from before; that his contract wasn't up. But because of me?" Shrill and tender, she could almost have her heart captured all over again by the man from before.
David rolled his eyes, much like the great Doctor House word. Ironically, Dave could say that he invented any of House's looks. "Yeah, yeah…What can I say, I was crazy about you….But I remember during that time, I spent most of my time avoiding work with Will. Damn bookworm, he always turned me in to Andie. I wish I knew that my best friend and boss we're in on all of my mischievous actions. Andie used to yell at me for hiding or avoiding work…but I did ended up spending a lot of time around her when you two were absent."
"And…that's why there's some newfound drama between House and Cuddy…" Judy was starting to get it. Oh, her co-workers would be pleased. Everything he had written was actually emotions or actions that had occurred in his real life-through his perspective. "Wow…and here, I thought you were being original."
"Nope, sorry. The medical portions, yes, but everything else is strictly from my own life. I told you I'm not a romantic, and I stick by that. Go to Will for your romantic needs," He paused, looking up at her seriously. "On second thought, don't do that."
She grinned. "How is Will, anyway? Is he still dating Andie?"
"Last time I checked," He continued writing. "I'm not trying to jinx it, but I think Will's going to make her lucky wife number four."
"Ahhh…just like the real Doctor Wilson," She commented, noticing her husband's movements. "And do you know what Doctor Wilson would tell you right now?"
Dave looked up to the ceiling, as if to contemplate. His lips were pressed firmly against each other. "Hmm…Wilson was too moral for me. Katie always wrote him in. So-"
"-He would tell you to get some sleep. Pronto," Her hands clapped twice in unison.
"Maybe you're right," He reasoned. After all, his spine was in pain, his neck was firm, his eyes had a harder time staying awake and his yawnings became more and more boisterous. He gently set down the pad and now skid-marked paper on the night stand beside him.
"I always am," Judy told him playfully, sliding into the thick Egyptian sheets and turning her back to him. Reaching up, she gently placed her two fingers on the lamp knob and turning it off. She could hear David slipping deeper into the covers, his yawning a clear indication that she was right. "'Night, House."
He reached up and reciprocated the same actions of his wife. Though it's still unsure, but it seemed as though David found it easier to relax in bed, even though Judy was tired and needed her sleep. Turning his back towards her back, he mumbled "G'night, Cameron."
The wind had dulled down, which was unexpected. It had grown silent in the Shore home, and everything was at peace for the first time all night. No stress, no mess. And lying there, both found comfort in their own ideas and dreams.
And as David lied in silence, his sleepy mind taking over his sense of reality, was about to learn a thing or two about what it means to truly create something. His wife had adopted that long ago from their children, but David had never really spiritually connected with the metaphor of creation. The work, the efforts, the procrastination which occurs that shouldn't. He was in trouble. He needed his script by tomorrow and only obtained partial completeness. What could help him now? Himself, and no one else. And he knew that. Silently, he wondered why he couldn't rip off another medical drama, just before drifting into what may have been the best sleep of his career.
Okay, yeah…this is the part where you tell me how much you hate it. But of course, I don't really wanna hear that. So, if you could avoid it, please do so. I promise you that this isn't going to be some quick fic for reading. I want to take this somewhere and have some fun with it. But hey, you're the readers, so let me know if this is worth another chapter.