Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I would publish all my stories I have written using the characters and I would be very rich. However, I do not own it and I am completely broke. :)
It was long past midnight, and I still couldn't sleep. Many nights had been like this: worrying about what'd happened to my family, and what would happen to me. And ever since I'd come back, extra worries had filled my heart. What if she never forgave me? She certainly didn't have a reason to. I sighed deeply and turned over restlessly in my sleeping bag.
"Ron?" The quiet voice belonged to none other than Hermione, the girl I had been thinking about.
"Yeah?" I sat up and saw that she was doing the same. She was shivering; it was still February, and very cold. I wanted to move closer to her and put an arm around her, hold her for awhile. But if I did she may very well hit me.
"I can't sleep." That was obvious, I thought.
"Neither can I."
They sat in silence awhile; I was wanting more than anything for her to forgive me. The fact that she was talking to me again was certainly a positive sign, but things still weren't the same. This was it, I needed to do something I'd done only a few times before in my life: I needed to apologize. Genuinely apologize, without anyone listening to judge me but her, for she was the only one that mattered right now.
"Hermione, I'm sorry," I began, deciding that just getting it out there was the best way to go about this.
"For what?"
"Everything. Running out, saying those stupid things, trying to make you choose between me and Harry, not coming back, any of the things I've done in the six years prior to this one, it's your choice, really. Take your pick."
She was silent for a few moments, a stony expression on her face. "Why'd you do it?"
"Which idiotic thing are you referring to?"
"Well, I suppose I could choose any of them, but I really want to know why you ran out on Harry and me."
I paused, thinking over what I was going to say. Because the truth was, I wasn't sure why I'd run out in the first place. But telling Hermione that would just be the nail in my coffin. So, I said: "Well, you know I was frustrated with how things were going. I'd like to blame it all on the Horcrux, but I know it was me too. I was just being stupid, okay?"
She was quiet again. Then, "At least you realize that you're stupid. But I still don't know how you could just abandon your friends like that."
"I apologized, Hermione! What more do you want?" I was raising my voice now. I didn't know why she could get me so angry so quickly.
"Yes, I know you apologized, okay? It just takes me awhile to get my mind around-"
"I've been back more than a month! A month, and you still haven't forgiven me!"
"You left me! And you left Harry! Your best friends! I thought we meant something-"
"YOU-DO!" I hollered at the top of my lungs. I glanced over at Harry's bed; it was a miracle he hadn't woken up, but in all honesty I didn't care if he heard what I had to say. I just needed to make things right with Hermione. "You mean the world to me, Hermione! You and Harry both!"
"Then why the hell did you leave?" This was the first time in living memory I'd heard Hermione swear, but I didn't have time to marvel at this. I had to explain to her.
"I don't know! I honestly don't know! I was an idiot, okay? An idiot!"
"Damn right, you were! If we mean so much to you-"
"You're right, okay? You're bloody right, like you always are! I walked out on you, I walked out on Harry! After everything we've been through, I left because I wasn't tough enough!" It looked like Hermione wanted to interrupt at this point, but I continued before she had the chance. I needed to get this out in the open. "I was a baby, alright? A bloody baby! A damn five year old would've been more loyal than I was! And to be quite honest, you don't even have a bloody reason to forgive me! Remember that night, at Grimmauld Place? I told you I was going to be there for you, I was going to protect you! Well, I didn't do either of those things, so you can go ahead and ignore me for the rest of your life, and frankly, I'd get it! I want you to forgive me, Hermione, but you shouldn't. You just shouldn't."
There. I'd said it. After this, I certainly hope she knew that my emotional range is greater than that of a teaspoon.
"That was nice of you to say, Ron," she said, her voice soft now. "It takes a pretty tough person to admit they were wrong. But I'm still not going to pretend you weren't an arse."
"And you shouldn't, okay Hermione? Because I was an arse, and an idiot, and a baby, and a wimp, and all of those things!" My eyes were stinging, I felt like I could cry. But not in front of her. Not in front of her...
"Yes, you were. And friends shouldn't be those things," she told me, her voice staying surprisingly quiet and calm. "But you did apologize, and friends are supposed to do that. And they're supposed to forgive, too."
"You really shouldn't, though," I interrupted.
"Weren't you the one that wanted me to forgive you?" she asked, her voice testy.
"Yes, I did. But I honestly don't deserve it." This was it. I was actually going to cry like the immature baby I was. I turned my face away so she wouldn't see.
All I heard for the next moment or two was the rustling of the sleeping bags as she stood up. To my surprise, when she sat down again it was next to me. I turned to face her in question, and was relieved to see that she was crying too. She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her head into my shoulder. Hesitantly, I brought one of my arms around her shoulders and drew her closer. When she didn't resist, I moved my other arm as well and enveloped her in a hug.
After a few moments, she spoke. "Ron, you've been my best friend for years. And I'm not going to lie, you've hurt me in every way imaginable. But most of the time, you're amazing. The majority of the time you're loyal, and sweet, and funny...and I'm willing to forgive you for the times that you aren't, because you mean the world to me too. I care about you a lot, and I've been through too much with you to let one instance of your idiocy ruin our friendship."
I smiled slightly. "I can be an idiot quite a bit, can't I?"
"Yes." I smiled again, and so did she. "And sometimes it drives me absolutely crazy. But sometimes, it's endearing."
"I don't deserve you, Hermione," I said gratefully, holding her close. We fell asleep like that. After that talk, I knew that somehow, everything would be fine. Somehow, we could overcome the great evil trying to split us apart. Because we were stronger than that. If she could forgive me for something as big as abandoning her, then there was nothing that could tear us apart.