Author's Notes: I'm a victim of watching Flashpoint. That's the only excuse I can give for starting another story when I have so many others I need to be working on. After re-watching the season 4 episode "Day in the Life," I couldn't get Jules's story about her best friend out of her mind. And as most of you probably know, once you get an idea in your head, you can't get anything else accomplished until you go with the idea. I promise I will finish all my stories. Please be patient. This is a different type of story for me, so I would love to hear your thoughts.

Timeline: This is a pre-show type of story that takes place when Jules is 18.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and the networks who air the episodes. Since the show has ended, our only way of getting new Flashpoint is through fan fiction. This story is my attempt to help fill the void, and the only profit I make is the warm fuzzy feeling reviews give me. Anything that does not come directly from the show is my own creation and should not be used without my permission.

Spiraling

The shouting had been going on for at least ten minutes and wasn't showing any sign of stopping any time soon. Eighteen year old Julianna Callaghan sat cross-legged on her bed, adjusting the strings on her guitar and trying to ignore the one-sided argument happening in the other bedroom. It wasn't that she didn't care, but she knew she'd hear about it all too soon. Wanting to test and see if she'd gotten the instrument tuned like she wanted to, she gave it an experimental strum. Satisfied with the sound, she started to play the new song she'd been trying to learn for the last week.

About five minutes later, her bedroom door swung open and her roommate and best friend stomped in and flung herself on Jules's bed. Without a word, Jules set her guitar on the floor propped up against the side of the bed. She knew there would be no more playing it until she helped settle whatever was wrong.

"I take it your conversation with your mom didn't go well." Jules kept her tone completely neutral. They'd had this same discussion too many times in the last couple of months. Jules almost felt like she was rehearsing a part in a play instead of dealing with a real life situation.

"I can't deal with her anymore. She's totally lost it. She wants me to come to supper tonight and when I told her I can't, she just completely went postal. Honestly, Jules, I knew we should have gone with my plan to go so far away to college that even going home for holidays would have been difficult. But no, you wanted to stay close to home."

Jules frowned. "So, why couldn't you go to supper? You were telling me earlier that you didn't have plans for tonight."

Sara Daniels rolled her eyes as she looked at her roommate. "I don't have plans but that doesn't mean I want to spend the evening with my mother. She'll spend the entire time pestering me about who I'm dating, how my grades are, why I don't come home more often, how horrible my dad is, the usual. Can you imagine anything worse?"

Jules had always heard the saying that opposites attract and that certainly seemed to be true for them. They were the best of friends but couldn't be more different. Sara was at least 5'9", blonde and blue-eyed. She'd had a few offers to do some local modeling and with her stylish pixie cut and always impeccable make-up she could pose for practically any magazine alongside any of the current supermodels. Jules, on the other hand, was a good seven inches shorter with long, straight brown hair and perfectly common brown eyes. Half the time, she was quite happy to leave the apartment with her hair pulled back into a ponytail, her favorite jeans and whatever top the weather called for, and no make-up while Sara wouldn't dream of being seen in public without looking like she was going to a fashion shoot. Even their personalities tended to be completely opposite each other. Sara was a bit of a drama queen while Jules was more level headed.

"I don't have to imagine something worse. I live it, remember?" Jules had lost track of how many times she'd said some sort of variant of the same thing to Sara. "You know your mom loves you. I can't imagine it's been easy for her; you leave for college and then your dad just ups and moves out. She's probably lonely."

Sara sighed. She flipped over onto her side on the bed and propped her head up on one of her arms. "I know she's lonely, Jules. I'm not stupid. But it's not my fault Dad decided to pull a splitsville. He hasn't even talked to me since he moved out. But I'm in college now, not a little girl who runs home to Mommy once a week. Besides, it's like she's decided we're BFFs or something." She reached the hand she wasn't propped up on out to poke Jules in the leg. "I've already got a best friend, remember? Doesn't staying in and ordering a pizza with the works sound better than eating some sort of casserole with my mom?"

A few years ago, Jules probably would have agreed immediately. How many times growing up had she and her brothers begged for take out instead of some sort of healthy home cooked dinner? But that had been before her mother had gotten sick and hadn't been able to do all the stuff the Callaghan kids had taken for granted. After her mother's death, there was nothing any of them would have given to have just one more of her meals, even the vegetables they all loathed.

Jules sighed. "Again, you know my answer."

Sometimes it was hard to keep the resentment out of her voice when discussing Sara's problems with her mom. It was the one sore subject the two friends had. The one thing they had to agree to disagree on and did so often, more so since becoming roommates than ever before.

Sara rolled over onto her back with a long-suffering sigh but then sat up with a bounce. "You know, there's a simple solution to this. You could have dinner with my mom tonight. She's always asking me about you and worrying about you just as much as she does me. She could dote on you tonight and stay off my case a little longer. Come on, Jules, say you'll do it."

Jules eased off the bed and returned her guitar to its case. She turned around to face her friend, leaning on the edge of her desk. "Sara, I love your mom and I love that she worries about me. You should too. Trust me, the only thing worse than having a mother who worries too much is not having a mother who can worry about you." Before Sara could offer her own usual argument on the subject Jules continued on. "I'm not going to dinner with your mom. Not because I wouldn't love it but because I think its more important that you do it. Besides, I have a study group tonight so I really do have plans."

"What about tomorrow night? You don't have study group tomorrow do you? I could call mom back and tell her we'll both come to dinner tomorrow night. Please? I can handle mom's meddling and whining better if have a someone with me to help buffer her."

Jules groaned at her roommate's persistence. It was on the tip of her tongue to remind Sara she had her own way of whining but she bit back the retort. "The band's got a rehearsal tomorrow night. Besides, even if your mom wouldn't mind it if I dropped in with you, what she really wants is time with you. Give her that while you still can. Be glad you still have someone who wants to know what's going on in your life."

Sara got up and left the bedroom with Jules following her. The tall, blonde went to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of juice. She shook it and then opened the top. After taking a swallow, she tipped the bottle toward Jules slightly. "It's not fair you trying to guilt me into seeing my mom by bringing up what you don't have."

Jules sighed and sat down on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island. She picked up an orange from a bowl of fruit on the counter and started to peel it. "And it's not fair to me for you to continuingly bring me into your arguments with your mom knowing I would love to have my mom back. I think the only reason you do it is because deep down you know I'm right."

Sara retrieved another juice from the fridge and then joined Jules at the island. She sat on another bar stool. After setting the second juice in front of Jules, Sara selected an apple from the same bowl. "It used to be easier, you know? When I was in high school, Mom and I got along great. She was always the cool mom every kid wants to have. Now, I don't even recognize her any more. She's either always really upset over Dad walking out or pestering me on every detail of my life."

Jules popped a slice of orange in her mouth. Once she'd swallowed, she smiled mischievously at her friend. "And since you really don't want to tell your mom everything going on between you and Brian, you hate that last part."

Sara blushed slightly. "Like you'd want to go home and tell your dad about Jake."

Now it was Jules's turn to blush. "There's nothing to tell about Jake. Not that Jake wouldn't like that to be different, but still. Besides, it's different. My dad makes a point to NEVER ask about things like boys because he plans on pretending I'm still his baby girl until I'm probably forty. I doubt your mom wants to know those kinds of details either. I don't think any parent really wants to acknowledge the fact that their kids aren't kids anymore. She just wants to feel like she's apart of your life, you know."

Sara frowned. "So wait, you and Jake haven't…" She raised an eyebrow. "But when the four of us went out last weekend, Jake certainly had that 'I'm gonna get laid' look about him all night and then you two left early and you didn't come in until it was almost morning."

Jules rolled her eyes as she ate a few more slices of her orange. How did the subject go from Sara's problems with her mom to her relationship with Jake? "Yeah, well, like I said, what he wants and what's going on are two different things. He probably did have that kind of look on his face and that's definitely what was on his mind when we went off by ourselves, but it wasn't because we were having sex. I didn't come home until morning because I knew you and Brian would be here and frankly, the walls between our bedrooms aren't that thick."

Sara set aside her apple and reached out to touch Jules's arm, concern on her face. "Jules, Jake didn't…I don't know… hurt you or anything, did he?"

Jules laughed. "No, he's too nice a guy to do anything like that even if he's frustrated as hell. Besides, my brothers taught me a long time how to handle myself if a guy decided not to take no for an answer."

"Jake is a nice guy, Jules. And it's obvious he's in to you in a major way. So I guess I can't help but wonder, why isn't he in to you yet?"

Jules groaned and got up to throw her orange peels in the garbage. "Gross, Sara. You do realize you are now doing to me exactly what you say you don't want your mom doing to you, right?"

Sara didn't look ashamed at all. "Yeah, but it's different. I'm your best friend; we're supposed to talk about these things. So, come on, Bestie, tell me what's got you holding back."

"On one condition." Jules warned as she returned to the bar stool. She opened the juice Sara got for her and took a quick swallow. "I'll try to explain what's going on in this crazy head of mine if, and only if, you promise to go visit your mom tonight."

Sara frowned. "That sounds like blackmail to me."

Jules grinned. "We're best friends. That's what we're supposed to do. That's the deal; take it or leave it, but decide quick; Jake's picking me up for study group soon and I really don't want to be having anything to do with this conversation when he gets here."

Sara pouted slightly but she knew Jules had her over the barrel. With a sigh she reached across the counter to the phone. She quickly dialed a number, "Hey Mom, I changed my mind. I'm going to come by tonight after all. Don't bother to cook, I'll pick us up a pizza on my way in. It's been awhile since we've gorged out on a deep dish sausage with mushrooms and black olives. See you this evening." She ended the call and set the phone down on the counter. "Got the machine. So, happy?"

Jules smiled. "Not as happy as the both of you will be for doing this, but yes, yes I am."

Sara leaned back against the chair back of the bar stool. "Okay, your turn. So, Jake is a god. He's got that bad boy drummer in a rock band appeal with hair that most women would die for, scorching eyes that just about beg you to let him take you to bed, and need I mention that from the way he fills out those tight jeans he always wears, I don't think he's lacking anything in that department either. And perhaps most of all, it's obvious he's head over heels for you. So, why, dear friend, are you not taking advantage of everything he's trying to offer?"

Jules rolled her eyes. "Ugh, does Brian know you talk about other guys like that? Yeah, Jake is all those things; he's also a great kisser and has talented hands." She folded her arms on the counter and leaned her head down to rest on them almost miserably. "So why am I putting him off?"

Sara gave Jules's leg a prodding nudge. "I just made plans to go to my mom's tonight to find out. You better have something better for me than a question."

Jules looked up at her, her blush becoming more apparent. "We've come close a few times. He starts kissing and touching me and I almost forget everything but how great it feels." She shook her head when Sara started to grin. "Stop it. Then just about the time we're ready to cross that line, I start thinking."

Sara shook her head. "Jules, I keep telling you, thinking is dangerous. Especially when things are starting to feel that good." Her grin widened even more at the glare Jules shot her. "Sorry, shutting up now and listening. What do you start thinking about?"

"Things my mom told me before she died. Back I guess when moms first start realizing their little girls are becoming women but when it's all still more theoretical than practical. She never really came out and told me she wanted me to wait until marriage but I could tell it was there on the tip of her tongue. What she would always tell me is that deciding to have sex for the first time was a big deal and not something to be taken lightly. She repeatedly told me that a girl only gets a first time once and it should be special. She said before I gave away a piece of myself that I could never get back I should be really sure it was what I wanted. That it was with who I wanted, not just because a moment felt good."

Back in her earlier days of high school, when she first started expressing interest in boys, Sara had had similar talks with her mother. Talks that centered more about being safe and responsible rather than the more emotional side. Now, Sara wondered why that was. Had Jules's mom felt even back then that she might not get a chance for such conversations later when sex became more of a likelihood than a possibility? She felt a momentary pang of regret. Was that why her mother now tried to talk about her love life? To have those conversations they never had when she was younger? "So Jakes not the person you want for your first time?"

Jules shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he is but not right now. I like Jake - a lot. But I don't think I love him and I'm not sure he really loves me. Somehow, I think if, in the heat of the moment, I'm thinking and worrying about things my mom once told me, then that's probably a good indication that it's not that right time. Am I crazy?"

"Yes," Sara answered without hesitation. When Jules's expression turned even more pitiful, she laughed. "But that's not a bad thing. Jules, it's your life and your body. If you want to wait until it feels like the right time, then that's what you should do. Personally, I think you're missing out, because let me just tell you; if you think the things that you and Jake have done so far feel good, I'm here to tell you, you ain't felt nothing yet."

"Do you ever wish you and Brian had waited?"

Sara shook her head. "Hell no. I was the one pushing Brian into having sex. But don't judge what you should do by what I do, Jules. I'm more the live for the moment kind of girl while you think about the bigger picture. When it's right, you'll know. If Jake's really as in to you as he seems, he'll be willing to wait. And if not, then it's his loss."

"Yeah, well, I have a feeling I'm pushing my luck with him." Jules stood. "I've got to get ready for my study group."

"Don't let Jake pressure you into something you aren't ready for." Sara warned. "I don't think he'd do it intentionally but I'd hate for you to give in on something you aren't sure of because you are worried about losing him."

"I won't." Jules promised.

Sara couldn't just leave it at that though. "At the same time, though, don't hold back on something really incredible just because you mistakenly feel like you owe your mom something. You can't live your life based on things your mom told her years ago."

Jules sighed. Of course Sara would leave her feeling more conflicted than ever. It was one of the reasons she really hadn't said anything before. Sara loved life and wanted everyone to love it to its fullest with her. "Have fun with your mom, okay? Try not to fight the whole time."

"You know, since you're forcing me into this without even coming with me I could always divert attention off myself by sharing with her all your secrets."

Jules snorted. "Yeah, right. Like you could do that without getting yourself in trouble. Every juicy detail you could possible spill about me you were right into the thick of things if not the instigator. And your mom would know that as well."

Sara laughed unabashedly. "You've got a point there."

Jules disappeared back into her bedroom long enough to put the books and notebooks she'd need into her backpack. As she passed her dresser, she paused and picked up the framed photograph she kept there. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't miss her mom, not a day that she didn't feel her loss. But some days, especially after trying to help Sara with her arguments with her mom, the pain threatened to overwhelm her all over again. It also made Jules wonder what her relationship with her mom would have been like had her mom lived. Would they be as close as they'd been when her mom had gotten sick? Or would they have fallen victim to the same type of estrangement that Sara and her mother were experiencing; the estrangement it seemed like most of her friends seemed to have with their mothers?

She returned the photograph to the dresser and left the bedroom. It wouldn't do for her to get swept up in the pain of things she couldn't change. It would just take her down a dark path she didn't want to travel back down, a road of misery and self-pity that had taken her too long to find her way off of after her mother died.

Sara had moved from the kitchen island to the couch and was flipping through channels without really waiting to see what was on. She tossed the remote aside when Jules came out. As Jules sank into the couch beside her, Sara looked at her. "So, which study group do you have tonight?"

They were both freshman but their class schedules were as different as their personalities. Their study habits were also vastly different. Jules had thrown herself into study groups and anything that would help ensure that she finished the semester with honors. Sara on the other hand had embraced more of the social aspect of college life. The fact that she was naturally smart and could do well on tests even without studying helped.

"Biology. I know, don't start about how ironic it is that the one class Jake and I have in common is biology. He's reminded me enough as it is. What time are you heading to your mom's?"

"Soon; don't worry, I'm not going to go back on my word because you aren't here to make sure I go. You heard me call and leave a message. The only thing worse than arguing with mom about coming to visit is listening to her complain if I go back on what I've said I'd do. Hey, do you know what we did with those coupons we got the last time we ordered pizza?"

Jules leaned forward to pull open the drawer on the little coffee table in front of them. As she did her shirt rode up slightly, just barely revealing the tattoo on her lower back. Sara reached forward and pulled Jules's shirt back down. "So, has Jake seen your ink yet?"

The tips of Jules's ears turned pink as she straightened back up. She tossed the coupons over to Sarah. "Yeah, he's seen it, but get your mind out of the gutter. Pretty much everyone in the band has seen it. It's not like mine is in that secretive a place, not like someone I could mention. I could ask if Brian has seen yours but I know that's a stupid question."

Sara just laughed. "Relax, Jules, I'm just picking. It's still hard for me to believe you got a tat, much less that this was one time you actually dragged me into something crazy, instead of the other way around. There's a bit of a badass in you that, as your best friend, I'm glad to get the privilege to see from time to time."

Jules shook her head. "You might be my best friend, but you can also be a humongous pain in my ass too. It's not a privilege when you are the one bringing out the badass in me ninety percent of the time."

"Something I'm also proud of as your best friend." Sara retorted with a shrug.

A knock on the apartment door brought a halt to their conversation. Jules went to the door. Jake smiled at her and then leaned in to give her a kiss. His hands wrapped around her waist and stayed there, resting just on her hips, even after he broke off the kiss. "Hey there."

"Hey yourself. Want something to drink or anything before we head out?"

Jake shook his head. "Nah, I can wait 'til we get to Ramey's. You ready to go?" This particular study group met at a popular burger hangout. It helped that one of the members of the group was the daughter of the owner so they could use one of the back rooms as they ate and studied. No one got on their case if they spent a couple of hours or more just hanging out.

Jules nodded. "Let me get my bag."

He released his hold on her and followed her over to the couch. He flashed Sara a quick smile. Jules slung the strap of her backpack over her shoulder. "Sara, give your mom my love and try to enjoy the evening."

"You too. Jake, don't let her study too hard. Make her have some fun as well."

Jake pulled Jules in close with his arm around her waist. "I'll try. If you and Brian don't have other plans tomorrow night, the two of you should come listen to the band rehearse. Then the four of us can go out and do something fun."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll talk to Brian."

After saying goodbye, Jules and Jake left the apartment and took the stairs one flight down to the ground level. Jake didn't bother to try to take her bag from her because he knew she was too independent for that. He did, however, insist on opening the door of his pickup truck for her. Once she was inside, he closed the door and ran around to the other side. Before starting the vehicle, he glanced over at her. "So, Sara's going home for the evening?"

"Yeah, her mom wanted her to come to dinner." Jules answered as she fastened her seat belt.

Jake grinned over at her. "So maybe after we finish studying, we can go back to your place and just chill."

Jules knew that by chill, he meant make out with the hope of it going further. While she was more than okay with the making out part of the equation, she worried that it was grossly unfair to Jake knowing she wouldn't let it go where he really wanted. She sighed, "Jake…"

He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "Relax, Jules; I get it that you aren't ready but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy each other's company, does it? Besides, I'm a slow learner; I might need a little more one on one tutoring. Maybe some hands on learning about the human body."

"Okay, we'll come back here after group." She didn't add that there was probably a good chance Sara would beat them back. She fully expected that her friend wouldn't stay at home any longer than she absolutely had to. Of course, she also wouldn't put it past Sara to find an excuse to leave again just to give them apartment alone.

They were neither the first nor the last of the group to arrive at the restaurant. Once everyone had arrived, they all ordered. While they waited, talk was light and had nothing to do with the subject they were going to study. They were a rowdy group so it was probably a good thing the owner's daughter was with them. Finally about ninety minutes after they'd all arrived, the food was gone, the plates were cleared away, and the books came out.

While they might have been loud and rowdy while eating, when it came to studying, they were serious and hardworking. They were so focused on what they were doing, no one noticed two uniformed police officers approach their table. Jules happened to notice them first as she looked up from her notes to reach for her glass. "Is something wrong, officers?"

One of the officers checked his notepad. "We're looking for Julianna Callaghan. We were told she was here."

Jake's arm had been around her shoulders and at the mention of her name, he gripped her shoulder in concern. Jules swallowed hard. She could think of no reason why she'd be wanted by the police. Yeah, she had plenty of secrets she didn't want getting back to either Sara's mom or especially her dad, but nothing that was illegal. "I'm Jules. Is something wrong?"

"Can we talk privately?"

Jules nodded. On almost rubbery legs, she stood and followed the officers out of the back room to a table in the main part of the restaurant. She listened to what they had to say but couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was like she was trapped in some sort of nightmare. Her hands were pressed together and covered her mouth as if they could hold in the sobs that threatened to overwhelm her. She shook her head, hoping that if she denied the news she was hearing, it would make it not true. She wasn't sure if the officer was still speaking. She couldn't hear anything for the roar in her ears. Wasn't really aware of anything until Jake's familiar warm voice penetrated the fog in her brain.

"Jules, what's going on? What's wrong?"

She turned to him and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Jake, it's horrible. I can't believe it."

She could feel his heart beating rapidly beneath her ear. She was freaking him out but she wasn't sure she could voice what was wrong without breaking down even more. It wasn't fair to him; he wasn't used to seeing her like this, and it had to be freaking him out even more. To his credit though, he was doing everything he could to comfort her even without knowing what was wrong. After a few minutes, he pulled back enough to cup her face in his hands. "Whatever it is, I'm here. Tell me what's going on. Did something happen to your dad? One of your brothers?"

Jules shook her head. "No, Sara…she…Damn it, Jake, it can't be real. Pinch me, slap me, do something to make me wake up and find this is all a horrible dream."

There was no way he'd do anything to hurt her even if there weren't police officers standing right there. "Jules, you're awake; I wish it was a dream but it's not. What about Sara? Was she in a wreck or something? Is she hurt? Do I need to take you to the hospital or something? What?"

Jules could barely catch her breath. "She's okay." Then she caught herself. "No, she's not okay. How could she be okay? It's so not okay. But she's not hurt, not physically. I've got to get to her. I don't think I should drive though. Do you mind?"

Jake shook his head. One of the others from the study group had already gathered their books and notes and brought their bags over to where they were before retreating back to the entrance of the back room to give them privacy. "I'll take you anywhere you need to go. You know you don't even have to ask. But Jules, you gotta tell me where I need to take you. You said Sara's not hurt; where is she? What happened?"

She sat back and accepted the glass of water one of the officers handed her. She took a long swallow and then wiped her face. She wasn't fully in control of her emotions but it was better than it was right after they'd told her the news. "Sara's at her mom's house. I need to get to her. She shouldn't be there alone and I know they probably haven't gotten in tough with her dad. She asked the officers to come find me because she's there all alone and she can't handle it. Of course she can't handle it. Who could? I was just telling her this afternoon to not take her mom for granted, to enjoy what time she had with her. She didn't really listen. She never listens. Thinks I just say that because of what happened to my mom. And now this. It's wrong."

Jules broke down again, leaning back into Jake's embrace. He held her gently but looked up at the officers who were still standing there hoping they could explain where words seemed to have failed Jules. The younger of the two officers picked up on his pleading, unspoken question.

"When your friend Sara got to her house, she found her mother passed out on the floor. She called 9-1-1 and an ambulance was dispatched. There was nothing they could do however; her mother was already gone."

Jake's stomach dropped and his hold on Jules tightened. No wonder she was so upset. He knew Jules was close to Sara's mom, seeing her as sort of a surrogate mom after losing her own. So not only was she grieving for Sara, she was feeling the loss herself and probably being reminded of her own mother's death. He kissed the top of her head. He'd let her break down now because he was sure once he got her to Sara's house, she would feel she had to be strong for her friend.

"What happened to her?" He didn't think it could be illness related; Jules or Sara had never mentioned the woman being sick.

"The coroner will have to make the final determination, but the preliminary findings all seem to point to an overdose of whiskey and pills as the cause of death. It looks like Mrs. Daniels committed suicide."