The Ten Commandments

by Aphrael1742

The Bible is a book that is, at times, difficult to comprehend. This will not help you understand it better. But perhaps it might make you laugh. Maybe. "Thou shalt be filled with mirth," the Good Book saith, "be it day or night." I might be paraphrasing, just a little.

The Ten Commandments for Capitalists - no Christians were harmed in the making of this sorry piece.

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Thou shalt have no other gods before Me,

With the exception of money, which may hold a place beside me.

Thou shalt not make idols;

Use thy time wisely.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain,

For the Lord is a busy man.

Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Keep thy record books in order on that day.

Honor thy father and thy mother,

For their wordly possessions shall be thine when they return unto the Lord.

Thou shalt not murder,

For there is no gain to be had from the dead.

Thou shalt not commit adultery,

For multiple lovers become distracting.

Thou shalt not steal,

For the joy lieth in the transaction.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor,

For the angry man will not do business with thee.

Thou shalt not covet;

It is a waste of time. Take.

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... though I can't say if any were in the reading of it.