The T.H.R.U.S.H. laboratory was in a near state of utter destruction, much to the chagrin of Illya Kuryakin.
As he stood there staring at the mess, his partner sidled up beside him.
"A little heavy handed with the explosives again enh, I.K.?"
"No I was not. Something in this lab was most likely more volatile than I had anticipated, which I had no way of knowing. Our instructions were to take out the lab, and that is what was done, with some inadvertent help from our feathered friends I might add."
The two agents carefully walked through the room; the sound of glass crunching and crackling beneath the weight of their feet; they froze when a piece of wood fell to the floor. Behind them was Agent Donald Hillary, new to Section II. Waverly sent the man to tag along with his best agents just to see how things were done, though in this case Solo and Kuryakin were not giving a stellar performance.
"Illya, just exactly are we looking for?" Hillary asked."There's not much left here."
"Notes paperwork, anything that might be of use to Research and Development."
Napoleon made that strange face of his, crinkling his nose to show his displeasure.
"It really stinks in here, smells like rotten eggs," he pulled his handkerchief, covering his nose and mouth with it.
Kuryakin answered matter of factly, after taking a sniff. "It is most likely the remnants of hydrogen sulfide gas. It is not very strong, so it will be of no danger to us as long as we are not inhaling it in an enclosed environment for a prolonged period of time."
"Oh gee, isn't that just peachy," Napoleon's voice was muffled beneath the cloth.
"Not peach, rotten eggs." Illya was focused, sometimes he could be like a man wearing blinders, and as often was the case he took what his partner would say quite literally.
Napoleon shook his head, waving Illya on; the sooner they were out of here, the happier he'd be.
"Hey will you look at that," Hillary pointed."That must have been some explosive you used Mr. Kuryakin, it liquified glass."
Donald reached out touching his finger to it, and without warning what looked like melted glass suddenly came to life, enveloping his hand. It shot up his arm to his shoulder as the man screamed in terror.
Solo and Kuryakin both drew their guns and carefully aimed to avoid hitting Hillary. Firing several times, hitting it dead on; their bullets did nothing. The rounds passed right through it, embedding in a nearby wall.
Hillary continued to scream as the blue goo had nearly enveloped his entire body, pulsing and undulating as it did so.
"Help me please!" His voice shrieked in panic.
Napoleon grabbed a nearby extinguisher. "I got this!"
He turned it upside down and sprayed the cold white foam on the substance.
It did nothing…
"Brilliant idea," Illya shouted." What made you think that would work?"
"Didn't you ever see the movie 'The Blob' with Steve McQueen?"
"Honestly Napoleon, you and your ridiculous movie references, first it is zombies, now blobs?" *
"All right then, since cold didn't work," Napoleon grabbed a bunsen burner, turned it on and quickly lit it with his Zippo lighter. He adjusted the flame, making it as big as he could and turned it on the goo, just in time before it covered Hillary's mouth.
There was a near ear shattering squeal as the blue stuff turned to a crispy brown.
Illya grabbed another bunsen burner and did the same with it until he and Solo had burned the ...whatever it was, to a crisp. Pieces of it dropped away from Hillary one by one until he was free of it. Donald collapsed to the floor, gasping for air as he tried to calm himself. His exposed skin was irritated but other than that, he appeared unharmed.
Napoleon and Illya helped the man to his feet, getting him outside. Once they were at a safe distance Solo called headquarters for a clean up team with biohazard suits to take care of the mess, warning them of what had just happened.
Illya agreed, it was best they not go inside again to search for anything. Let the hazardous material team take care of it. He was at a loss for words for what they had witnessed.
"So my friend," Kuryakin said," from what movie did you get your idea to use fire?"
"Oh, no movie...it was just a brilliant idea on my part, if I do say so myself. I figured if cold didn't work, then maybe hot just might." He was obviously pleased with himself, and rightly so.
"I must say Napoleon… there are times you are a smart American."
"Why thank you tovarisch," Napoleon grinned, "I think?" His partner could be the master of the back handed compliment, but Solo decided to just let it slide.
As Illya was examining Donald's skin that had now turned orange, Napoleon asked him a question.
"So what's your take on that creature? It seemed it was rather determined to eat Hillary."
The Russian slowly turned his head and stared at him.
"There is no scientific proof that was a 'creature' as you call it, neither was their evidence that it was 'determined' as that would indicate sentience. Until I investigate further, which will be difficult since we fried the substance, whatever it was; I will not engage in such flights of fancy."
"Illya why can't you just let your imagination free for once? Couldn't it somehow be a creature like...the blob?" Napoleon ribbed.
"Fine. If you wish to call it a blob, so be it. I refuse however, to suspend my beliefs, or rather disbelief. I will reach a conclusion when all data has been collected and analyzed. I will not make a decision before that is done."
Napoleon shook his head. "Sometimes you have no sense of… creative visualization. Tell you what, when we finish with our paperwork on this one, we're going down to records in headquarters and we're pulling a copy of 'The Blob' and watching it."
"That is merely a cheap B rated film, with nothing based in scientific fact."
"Exactly," Napoleon cocked his eyebrows. "And don't roll your eyes."
"I was not planning on it..."
.
* ref to "It's the end of the world as we know it."