Please be nice! I'm no native speaker. Sorry for all mistakes that might follow! This story is posted in German under the name "Heimwerkerarbeiten". Everybody who is able to understand German should read it. It's far better than this translation, because there are many problems with phrases and figures of speech. But I thought my English needed a fresh up.

Warnings: Post Soul Society Arc Spoilers! Nothing Big. But just in case…

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Just a very bad English!

I had the Idea for this story during my parent's bedroom-renovation. It was – to put it mildly – chaotic. But the chaos I have is nothing compared to the Chaos in our beloved shinigami representative's live!

Renovation

Chapter 1

"OH NO! Just forget it! No Chance! Do this crap by yourself!"

"ICHIGO!"

I said NO! N - O! And NO means NO!"

"You are going to help!"

"NO!!!"

"YES!"

"NO; NO; NO!"

"YES; YES; YES!"

"You are deaf, you old fart, aren't you?" fist met nose. "You have to do it on your own, no chance I help you! I'm not interested in your strange ideas! Go get a painter to do it, so it will be done right!" He turned an walked trough the door, but a foot hit him at his back, and he found himself lying on the floor.

"ICHIGO! Do you have an idea how expensive a painter is??? DO YOU THINK I'M A CASH COW?"

Ichigo got to his feet and kicked his father in the stomach while murmuring "Maybe not a cow but a baboon…" He turned again to the door just to knock over Rukia who came from his sister's room. She tumbled but Ichigo could grab her arm.

"Sorry Ru- er, I mean Kuchiki-san."

"What's going on? Why are you yelling that loud?"

"Old man has one of this days again… He has the weird plan to renovate the clinic… namely by him and me! As if he could do…"

"Can I help you?" Rukia asked. With shock he released her arm causing her fall down on the floor. "Ouch! Bakamono, why do you…"

"IIIIICHIIIIIGOOOOO! How do you dare!" His father shouted out angrily from behind. "Rukia-chan! Are you hurt? Never fear, I will…"

"Oh no, Kurosaki-san, everything is OK!" Rukia said in her fake "little innocent schoolgirl"-voice. Ichigo sighed. How much he hated this fuss! It was so anti-Rukia, he couldn't stand it. He pulled Rukia up in a standing position. "Don't make such a fuss!" he blurt out.

Rukia looked at his father with puppy dog eyes. "Kurosaki-san, I would really like to help you with the renovation, in return for the kindness you bestow on me, for letting me live in your house…"

Ichigo almost threw up the dinner while thinking if it was better to strangle Rukia or to drown her. But his father flinging his arms around Rukias neck crying "Rukia-chan! My third daughter! So thoughtful and helpful!" blocked all possible actions.

That was the last straw! Ichigo pulled away his father from Rukia also to save her from suffocating – if somebody was up to kill Rukia it was still HIM – and screamed "Nobody is going to help anybody with renovating! At least not you, Ru- Kuchiki-san!" He wouldn't imagine what would be happening if Rukia was let alone with brushes, paint and empty walls. Her drawing abilities were known well enough!

Rukia completely ignored him and looked at Isshin. "Kurosaki-san, I am pleased if I can help you." She bowed.

Isshin ran to the Masaki-memorial-poster and cried out: "Masaki, love of my life! Our third daughter! An angel came down to earth in return for our son who turned out badly…"

That was enough! Ichigo dragged Rukia upstairs into his room and closed the door. He turned around glaring at Rukia who was sitting on the edge of his bed. "RUKIA!" His eyebrows were almost at the tip of his nose. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I just want to help." Rukia threw an angry look at him. "What's so bad about renovating the clinic? Why do you make such a fuss?"

"I'm just afraid of the consequences! He forced me to renovate the clinic with him a few years ago! The result was awful. He was in intensive care for four days and I was concussed and had a broken arm!"

"Oh Ichigo, don't overact."

"I DON'T OVERACT! This guy has no talent for do it yourself! It's perilous giving him tools or something else."

"Ichigo…"

"NO!" he took a deep breath. "NO CHANCE! I'M NOT GOING TO HELP AND YOU NEITHER!"

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That's it! Chapter 1 translated. The German version is a oneshot! I think I will divide it into three, it hard to translate.

Nee-san, you have bleached my world! (nicht umbringen! Don't kill me!)