Continuation of Your Heartbeat Beats so you may want to read that first but if not – you can pretty much guess what happens. I couldn't leave it…I just couldn't.
They'd been back in England less than 12 hours before Jack disappeared.
He'd held Nikki in his arms for a majority of the flight home, making sure she was here with him, making sure she was alive. Exhaustion had caught up with them both and Nikki slept, leaning against him. Jack had his arm round her shoulders while she lent her head against his, her hand resting by the buttons on his shirt. Jack couldn't sleep – hadn't slept in so long - but he took comfort in knowing he was no longer alone. She was back, and she was safe, and they were going home.
Thomas met them at Heathrow, and wasted no time before hugging them both. He wasn't usually like this. He didn't really show emotion for his colleagues. But he could not be more relieved to see them both leaning against each other, back on English soil.
Safe. Alive. Home.
It was the next morning that Thomas found Jack's resignation letter on his desk.
He sighed. Alright, fine.
If Jack wanted to leave after this, Thomas couldn't blame him. Thomas wasn't so sure that if he were Jack, he wouldn't do the same thing. He couldn't imagine being there, being responsible, and being so helpless to save the woman he lov- well Thomas didn't know if that bit was true but he knew they were close and there was definitely some form of love between them – be it friendship or more.
Nikki wouldn't resign. He knew that. She was too focused on her job, and the Lyell was a home to her.
She took the weekend to regain some normality. She phoned friends that she hadn't spoken to in years. Not to tell them what had happened to her but just to hear their voices, hear about their lives, breathe. Everything was fine. Everything was back to normal. And she was going back to work to see everyone.
Thomas, Clarissa and…"Where's Jack?" She asked as soon as she saw his empty, lifeless desk. Where was all his…junk?
Thomas didn't know how to tell her.
"You've not spoken to him?"
"Not since we got back…why? If he's taking some time that's fine…"
"Nikki he resigned on Friday." Clarissa spoke. She sounded sad, of course she was sad. Jack was her friend. She pretended not to see the relief on Thomas' face when she took the bullet for him.
Nikki fell into her desk chair. She closed her eyes. She didn't know what to say other than a weak "Ok." She stared across at his empty desk. Oh Jack.
It was her fault, wasn't it?
She knew where to find him and it saddened her. Jack had promised her that he would give up fighting many times. For a while it seemed like he had kept his promise. Nikki I promise I will never fight in a cage again. But sooner or later he'd go back, and she knew it. They'd been back and forth with this ongoing battle for nearly 3 years now. Why must he do it?
He wasn't where she expected him to be. Jack had a favourite spot in the gym, with his favourite punch bag in. It was secluded and dark and it helped him get into his zone. It helped him escape reality. But he wasn't there. It wasn't long before she found Frank, the gym's owner and she asked if she'd seen him.
Franked nodded "Changing room – y'know the one."
She gave him a small smile and thanked him.
She soon found it and suddenly she didn't know what to say to him. She gently rest her head against the door. Jack. She still had time to leave and he would never know she had been here. What if he resigned because of her? What if her being here would only make it worse?
She panicked. She left.
Moments later Jack was dressed and about to leave when Frank called to him. "Your girl find ya?"
Confused he shook his head. "What girl?"
"Blonde, fairly short – always looks tired and yet happy at the same time."
Nikki. She'd been here? He shut his eyes for a brief moment and inhaled deeply.
"No."
He left.
Nikki knew she was being stupid; she should just talk to him. If she talked to him he wouldn't leave…please don't leave, not now.
Nikki curled up on her sofa, with her knees up close to her chest. She'd changed out of her work clothes and into pyjamas. Her clothes had been suffocating her. Everything was suffocating her even though she was no longer underground in that cursed box.
The only thing that kept her alive in that tomb was Jack. His voice. He had this ability to make her laugh even when she could've been moments from death. He had reassured her again, and again, that she would be fine. He would get her out. He would save her.
It had all been him. Just him.
No army, no police, nobody else. Just Jack. On his own. Doing everything he could to get to her, and that had been an impossible task from the start.
And now he had gone and left her. Alone. She might as well be under the ground again.
She reached out to her phone, which lay undisturbed on her coffee table. She forgot that it was her phone (she had Jack's number a speed dial) and began to dial his number from memory – like she'd done in the coffin. Her eyes blurred as his name came up on the screen. She'd got his number right. If the phone she had in the coffin hadn't been tampered with she would've got through to him sooner.
She knew his number by heart – even though, more often than not, she speed dialed 1.
She took a deep breath and listened as the phone chirped in her ear.
"Nikki." He answered. He sounded tired, no - exhausted. Had he been sleeping?
"Sorry did I wake you?"
She pulled her knees closer to her chest.
"Mmm don't worry."
"Sorry." She said again.
"Nikki I can't do this anymore."
"But why, I'm fine. We're fine. We're back."
"I know. I know." He really was tired. "But I've got to move on from this –"
"Why are you shutting me out Jack?" She was angry with him. She shouldn't be angry with him, she knew that, but she just couldn't help it.
He fell silent. She heard him grunt – he probably just sat up.
It felt strange and yet oddly familiar talking to him on the phone and just listening to his voice, knowing what he was doing and where, just by listening to him. He always seemed so far away. So…untouchable.
That was all she'd wanted in her last moments before she escaped. To hold him tightly and tell him that it wasn't his fault. She didn't blame him - far from it, in fact. She blamed herself.
"Please don't shut me out. Not now." She begged him.
"I'm dangerous." He sighed; she could almost hear him shake.
"No Jack, scorpions are dangerous."
She heard him chuckle softly at that.
"Did you really kill a scorpion?"
"With my bare hands."
"Then it's you who's dangerous." He comments.
She could laugh and cry at the same time.
"I got a man killed."
She sighed. The vulture.
"No, you broke a vile man out of jail, but you didn't get him killed. They did. That's not your fault."
"In this country I'd be sent down for manslaughter."
"Then thank god it wasn't this country."
If there was one thing she'd learnt from travelling to Afghanistan and Mexico, it was that justice as a concept is different to everyone. In England we like to believe it's the courts – in Mexico it's death for a death. Life for a life. Tooth for a tooth.
"Nikki." She could hear that he wanted her to stop. Or perhaps he wanted her to start stopping him. She couldn't always tell on the phone.
"Are you mad at me, is this what this is?" She tried not to breakdown, and clung to her legs.
"What? No. No – do you really think that- No Nikki."
"Then what is it?"
"It's – I don't – I can't…" He didn't know what to say. He couldn't get the words out without telling her too much.
"Jack…please."
"Eva Vasquez."
Ah, yes. Eva. She'd put Nikki in that trap in a moment of weakness, and now she was dead.
"What about Eva?" She was more confused now than ever. Had Eva said something to Jack that has made him behave this way?
"She…I think she saw us."
"What…when?"
"The morning you found me on the veranda and I put my arm around you…she saw that."
"So?"
"So she knew then that taking you would be the only way to get me to…she used me like a puppet. She could've just talked to us –"
"She made a mistake Jack."
"SHE PUT YOU IN THE GROUND NIKKI."
Nikki was quiet. This was where she and Jack were different. She could be understanding of everyone, but Jack never forgot. But for a moment in Mexico they'd switched places. Nikki had followed her emotions the way Jack did and she threatened to kill a man and Jack had been the one calming her down. That moment had made her realise that either she and Jack were far similar than she'd previously thought, or he was rubbing off on her – and she on him.
"But what has that got to do with you resigning?"
"I'm too close to you. You were buried alive because I care about you –If I didn't she wouldn't have-"
"Love is our biggest weakness." Nikki interrupted.
Jack stopped.
"Hmm?" He was nervous.
"Eva." Nikki answered. "She said that to me when they took Ernesto. She loved him, she was his mother, and the cartel knew that. So they took him so she would get El Buitre out of jail for them, only she couldn't do it. I'd freaked out the day before so you were now the only person with access to him. So she needed to get you to do it so she used…"
Oh.
"You." He finished for her.
Oh.
Oh.
He loved her so Eva took her form him. Nikki was Jack's biggest weakness.
Jack had resigned because he didn't want her to come to any more harm because of him, because he knew if he stayed she would. He couldn't bear to lose her again. Not like that.
There was a long silence between them. She could hear Jack's breathing begin to accelerate.
"Come back." She pleaded one last time.
"I can't." No, he couldn't, and Nikki knew that if it had been the other way round she'd be running a million miles from him.
So she told him.
"Ok. But just for the record, if I'd been the one with access to El Buitre, Eva would've taken you instead. So there. I think that says everything."
She hung up.
Nikki cried herself to sleep.
She awoke to find herself in a fetal position. She'd dreamed of the moment in Mexico when she put Jack's hand on her heart. How he'd clung to her, and she to him. How she'd finally felt safe and let herself fall unconscious in his arms. How she'd awoke to find Jack leaning over her with a needle – he'd just injected her with a shit ton of vitamins. She vaguely remembers hearing him say, "Come back to me baby, don't die like this, not now."
Her body had been giving up on her. But Jack wouldn't give up on her.
Would he?
There was a knocking at the door. She sat up in an instant, causing her head to spin. She should probably drink something. Her body was still recovering, although she'd deny it to anyone who asked. Especially Thomas, Clarissa and Ja-
No. Not Jack. He was gone. The same way Harry had. Just…gone.
The knocking sounded again and it was more impatient this time. Who would knock on her door at…what was the time? She checked her phone – 00:08AM. Ugh.
She traipsed to the door, bare foot, stopping when she got there. Did she dare open the door? Deep down she knew it was him, and she knew if she let him in she'd break.
Who was shutting whom out now, huh?
She inhaled deeply, gathered her courage, and unlocked the door.
Jack.
Nikki wasn't surprised that it was him, but she was definitely nervous as to why he was here. They had basically confessed feelings. Not just any feelings. Not just an 'I think you're great, let's go out sometime' but full-blown L word drama.
How did you move forward from that?
Apparently Jack knew how because moments later he was kissing her.
All thoughts of Mexico, the box, his resignation and work flew from her mind instantly.
"It's great to have you back, Jack." Thomas nodded at him when he arrived for work the next day. Jack was sat at his desk opposite Nikki and Clarissa was mocking the both of them about something. He wasn't sure what but nothing got past Clarissa. Nothing.
This would be the start of a new kind of team – a family. Yes, a dysfunctional one in many ways. But they were, in every way, a family.