If I said I was truly over you, my heart would say amen, but I give into the cold caress of 2am, if I admit I can't get used to this, would my heart break again? As I fall into the waiting arms of 2am.- Alexz Johnson
So, this is the first of my big projects, well it's the first I publish. It's already written so I'll be updating quickly, I hope.
I love this story, and I hope you do too.
Also trigger warning, that's also a spoiler but I'd rather putting it here so you can be careful. There will be a rape attemp at some point and euthanasia. So be careful and stay safe.
They say that time's supposed to heal you
But I ain't done much healing
MARCH, 2016
Seto sighs, the last cold of the year makes his breath fog in front of him. He runs a hand through his hair. He looks down at his baggage, a blue cylindrical duffel with white strings and a white KC logo on the side, and his suitcase. The duffel's not that big, he only packed the necessary for four days, five tops. He isn't planning on staying too long, nor is he expecting being welcome, but that's something Seto's trying not to think about right now.
His fingers are cramped from the too strong hold he's clutching the suitcase with. It would fall from his sweaty hand, otherwise. Seto rakes his free hand through his hair, again, silently wondering whether this was actually a good idea.
His eyes stay trained on the door in front of him. 303 it reads in shiny, yellow letters.
This is ridiculous, he's Seto Kaiba, CEO of one of the biggest companies in Japan and he shouldn't be nervous about just visiting his little brother. He rolls his eyes at his own silliness and knocks the door.
"I'm coming," Mokuba's grave voice says. Seto purses his lips, he almost doesn't recognize it anymore, not outside of a camera or a phone at least.
And when Mokuba opens the door, Seto can't help but stare. Mokuba's grown taller, almost reaching Seto's height now, he's also grown broader. But his face is still just as kind; friendly, open eyes stare back at him, wide to the point where it's almost comical.
"Seto?" Mokuba breathes. His face splits in a smile a second after and, before Seto knows what's going on, he's being pulled into a hug. "Brother, I didn't know you were coming." He holds Seto at arm's length, grin still in place.
Seto exhales, shoulders sagging. He'd been anxious that Mokuba would still be angry, even after all their talks over the phone and skyping sessions, Seto wasn't sure if an unannounced visit would be well received, not after how they parted.
He smiles at Mokuba and Mokuba takes a step back "Come in, I was just making dinner," he says, walking into the apartment. Seto follows him, closing the door behind.
He eyes the inside, the living room is big and welcoming; a big couch, a loveseat and a sofa point to the screen on the side wall, all of them black and blue. There's a big balcony on the wall opposite to the door and a dining table next to the couches. The kitchen is next to the table. There are two doors on each wall, bedrooms Seto thinks.
He waits on the middle of the living room, unsure of what to do.
"Oh, sorry," Mokuba says upon noticing him "you can leave your things on the couch." his little brother cocks his head to the side "Why do you have so many things?"
Seto shrugs "Your first exhibition in a gallery is this wednesday." he says as nonchalantly as he can. He's sure he fails.
Mokuba closes and opens his mouth before running to Seto and giving him another bone crushing hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the best."
"It's a slow season, it isn't that big of a deal." Seto straightens his coat after Mokuba releases him.
Mokuba rolls his eyes "Yeah, right. I'm still grateful, ok?" He turns to the kitchen again "Man, this is going to be awesome. How long are you staying by the way?"
"Until your exhibition I'll leave the next day."
"Oh" Mokuba turns after turning off the stove "Were you planning on staying here?" he eyes the bags that lay on the couch.
"Not really, there's a hotel near here."
"Don't get me wrong," his younger brother corrects quickly "I mean, I'd love to have you here, but, as you know, I'm not living alone. But I could totally ask my roommate is you want."
Seto shakes his head. "No, it's fine." He doesn't know anything about Mokuba's roommate, it's never been an important subject to them. The only thing he knows is that it's a kind girl who gave Mokuba a place to stay for free while he didn't have a dime. Seto still feels awful about it, so that also contributes to them not talking about her.
Mokuba rattles the cabinets looking for something "No, I don't think Kisara will care if you stay in my room, she's cool like that."
Seto stares at Mokuba, and stares, and stares some more, because, what? He's devanning his brain trying to understand what the kid just said, or at least to get his lungs to remember how to draw air again.
He stares at Mokuba, hearing one of the pots whistle, letting the sound settle on his ears. He stares until Mokuba's face no longer has shape or sense.
"What?" he asks breathlessly.
"Is there something wrong?" Mokuba asks puzzled.
"Who…" Seto clears his throat "Mokuba I'm sure your roommate will mind," he asks, because, surely he must've misheard, right?
"Kisara? Nah, she's great, you know. Really kind, chill, loving. I'm sure she won't mind. Now make yourself comfortable while I finish with this."
Seto slowly sits on the couch behind him.
Now that, that's something he didn't see coming, of all the names he thought he'd never, ever hear again, Kisara is on the top of his list. Seto tells himself that it's not the same person, maybe the girl just have the same name, just because Kisara isn't a popular name doesn't mean it's impossible, right?
He looks at the room, paintings decorate the walls with barely a foot between each other, his eyes zero-in on the one next to the screen. It has blue roses on a vase, the background is on shades of green and barely there orange. He remembers those roses. Remembers how long Kisara'd worked on them and…
"You work and study, how do you find the time to waste it in this?" Seto asked upon seeing it. He saw Kisara's face fall after that. She'd had such a huge smile, her eyes gleaming, when she first showed it to him, but her smile faltered and she bit her lips to stop herself from crying.
Seto regretted it the moment he noticed it. "Is good, though." He added. It was the closest to an apology he could do back then.
Kisara beamed at him "Thank you."
"Isn't it beautiful?" Mokuba's voice pulls him out of his thoughts. Seto casts him a look before his eyes go back to the painting, which is so much closer now.
He doesn't remember walking to it.
"Yes, it is."
"Kisara's really talented. Can you believe she painted that at eighteen?"
The knob turns with a metallic sound. The door creaks as someone enters.
"I'm home." It's the sweetest voice Seto's ever heard. The voice that used to tell him 'It's okay' every time he was upset. A kind voice. A happy voice. "You'll never believe the state of the streets. It took me five minutes to get through a block."
Seto holds his breath, turning slowly to see the source of the voice. He holds his breath as his eyes travel through her body. Kisara at seventeen had been pretty, with big, naïve and innocent eyes and a pure smile. Kisara at twenty six is stunning. Her posture is so self-secure, her hips broader just like her thighs. Her legs are long and she's so, so breathtaking. Seto holds his breath as his eyes land on her face. She has more angles and her eyes are so big still, but they're less naive than before. Kisara's strong looking where she used to be fragile, a grown woman with the energy and kindness of a girl. He holds his breath as he waits for Kisara's reaction, for her to say something, anything at all.
Kisara blinks rapidly, her mouth moving without actually emitting a sound.
For a moment, Seto believes she'll have an apoplexy or something along the lines. Her fist clench on the door keys in a painful way but her face doesn't change; and she's trembling, like a compressed spring.
"Kisara, this is my brother Seto." Mokuba says, oblivious to the state of his best friend. He must be too happy about Seto involving himself in Mokuba's career, a part of Seto's brain guesses. The rest is too busy trying to come with something, anything. "Brother, this is Asakawa Kisara, my roommate and BFF." He winks at Seto in complicity.
Kisara's the one who composes herself first. She walks slowly towards them, holding her bloody keys outwards in some makeshift weapon. Her fist stays shielded by her side so Mokuba can't see them, but Seto can. She stops at arm's length "Nice to meet you, Kaiba-kun." Ouch. Kisara had never called him Kaiba, not even when they'd first met.
Kisara's eyes sweep him from toe to top and, for a fleeting moment, Seto can't help but wonder what does she see? Does she see the mean, selfish teenager that she met eight years ago? Does she notice how much Seto has changed the way he does with her? Seto shakes his head, it doesn't matter; he doesn't care about what she thinks of him.
Seto swallows "Same thing, Asakawa-san." Two can play that game, he decides.
Kisara's left eye twitch, her lips are a thin line. It's then that Seto snaps out of it, because out of the two of them she's definitely not the one with the right to be angry. She left him without a single word. To this day Seto wasn't even sure she was still alive for fuck's sake!
Seto straightens himself, leaning to get closer without actually stepping forward.
"Come on, there's no need for titles, you're both like my family, well Seto is in the literal sense, but that's irrelevant." Mokuba puts a hand on both of their shoulders giving them a small squeeze. "How about we sit down and talk while the rice is ready, hmm?"
"Of course." Seto smiles at Mokuba before turning back to Kisara "After all, that's what I came for."
Kisara rolls her eyes "Too little too late, isn't Kaiba?" she mutters once Mokuba's back on the kitchen.
Seto clicks his tongue before going to sit on the couch. His name sounds even more wrong without the kun, but he's not going to let this girl ruin his first week with Mokuba since the kid left for college.
-o-o-o-
APRIL, 2008
Finally his senior year had begun, and Seto couldn't wait to get the hell out of high school. He saw his classmates hugging each other, shrieking excitedly at the prosper of the new year and about their plans for the future.
Seto rolled his eyes. These kids didn't know what was expecting them. They didn't know how cruel the outside world really was.
Yugi and Jounouchi bolted through the door "We did it." Jounouchi yelled, bumping his fist with a breathless Yugi.
Seto glared at them. During the time he didn't see them, Seto had managed to forget the last year's events. But now here he was, Yugi Muto, the permanent reminder that he wasn't the best; that he wasn't even enough to be the one that put Atem at rest.
"If you keep glaring at Yugi like that you'll make his hair wilt." A high voice told him.
Seto arched an eyebrow at the girl beside him. It was a small, pale girl. He hadn't even noticed when had she sat down. He glared at her.
The girl bit her lip "Sorry, it's just, well… Never mind." She waved her hand dismissively with a sheepish smile.
Seto's eyes travelled through her body. She was thin and fragile-looking. The world would tear her down, he knew. It never let nice, innocent girls stay that way. Her hair was white and long, it shone with the light that crept through the window, engulfing her, strong and unyielding; it reminded Seto of Blue Eyes' skin. "I've never seen you here."
Kisara jumped at his voice, her hands nervously twirling her hair "Well, you weren't in school much last year." she smiled unsure.
Seto nodded. It was true he'd spent most of his time taking care of his company rather than at school, which was why his public imagine was now at risk, because his behavior 'talked of irresponsibility and negligence'. His eyes landed on her notebook, a drawing of Blue Eyes White Dragon decorated the front "Is that Blue Eyes?"
Kisara perked at that, her hands going to hold her notebook. "Yes, I like the card, it's…"
"Powerful." Seto supplied.
Kisara caressed the head "Yes, something like that."
The teacher arrived before any of them could say more. All the other teachers came and went with less than five minutes between each other, which made impossible to talk more with the girl.
The next time Seto talked to her was at lunch. She'd left to buy something to eat, and the only people remaining in the classroom were Yugi's gang, minus Bakura who'd also gone for something to eat, and Seto.
Even as the gang chatted he could feel the tension in the air. For them, he was a reminded of everything that had happened just as much as they were for him.
A blue haired girl walked inside "Honda-kun," she called and the gang turned to her "you guys need to come, Kouno Takahisa and his friends were molesting Bakura-kun and now there's a fight."
They sprang from their seats cursing. Seto watched as they ran out of the room with a bored expression, of course it would be them who'd have trouble the first day.
The girl stood there, staring at him.
"Is there something the matter?" Seto asked.
The girl took a step back, even though there were at least six meters between them "You're friends with Kisara?"
"Who?"
"Asakawa Kisara, she sits beside you. I saw you two speaking."
Was that all her high-school-girl brain needed to deem them as friends? "Why do you ask?"
"She got between Bakura-kun and Takahisa to defend him. She kind of started the fight."
Seto got up his seat, his brows drawn together. That girl in a fight? Now that's something he needed to see.
When he arrived the girl was still between Bakura and a broad guy with a horrible mullet. A blond guy was lying on the floor, holding his crotch and wailing like a wounded animal. There was another one, a black haired teen, next to him, hugging his stomach.
The guy with the mullet- Takahisa- growled at the girl. She just stood there right in front of Bakura.
"You little shit." He snarled, taking a step closer to the pale couple.
That's when the gang snapped out of their trance. Both Honda and Jounouchi got in front of the girl while Anzu and Yugi went to Bakura. He was clutching his arm but there didn't seem to be any other injuries. The pale teen waved them off, focusing on Kisara.
Her blue eyes were glued to the three guys in front of her, there was a bruise forming on her left wrist and another one of her cheek. Seto stepped in with strong steps and clenched fists.
"You're gonna join us, Kaiba?" Takahisa mocked.
Seto glared at him, not giving him any noticed before his foot collided with the guy's stomach, sending him to the ground. "Leave." He ordered.
Takahisa cursed him, his minions appearing at his flanks. They convinced- pleaded- him to leave. Takahisa refused until the blond one whispered something on his ear. They sent a last look at Kisara before fleeting and the girl wrapped her arms around herself.
"You can fight." Seto stated, eyeing the girl.
Her eyes locked with his and she smiled despite the red mark on her cheek "Thanks for intervening, Seto-kun, he's stronger than his friends and I wouldn't have wanted to fight him."
Seto tilted his head to the left; where he'd have lashed out at anyone who'd stuck their nose on his business; Kisara not only thanked him but also openly admitted she didn't have things under control. It was puzzling, especially considering that Kisara actually had things under control.
It was the gang gaping at them what made Seto realize that they were standing in the middle of the hallway. He turned to walk towards their classroom and Kisara ran to catch up with him.
-o-o-o-
MARCH, 2016
"I didn't know your brother was coming." Kisara tells Mokuba, pointedly ignoring Seto.
Mokuba shrugs "Neither did I, he just appeared behind the door." He says with a grin.
"Well, that's rather rude." Kisara's tone is flat, not giving away anything. It's so different from when they were younger.
Mokuba snickers "What put you in such a bad mood? Let me guess, Gabriel screwed up the colors again?" Kisara blushes; it makes Mokuba laugh harder "Anyway, yeah, maybe it was a little unannounced but he came to see my exhibition, isn't that awesome?"
Kisara stares at Seto as if she doesn't know him. Seto just smirks at her. "I thought you hated art." Seto tenses under the ice on her tone.
"Yeah, well, people change" He says as emotionless as possible.
For a moment Kisara looks like she's about to snap, ready to lunge forward and tear him apart, but then, she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly "About time, then. I'm glad it wasn't too late." She gets up and goes to the kitchen. Seto hears her moving pots and pans.
He stares at the place she'd been occupying before. He's not sure what she meant by that comment, what of all the unfinished matters between them she was talking about and it frustrates him to no end.
"Sorry about that;" Mokuba whispers to him "I don't know why she's so angry, but I swear she's not usually like this."
"Don't worry, it'll take more than a moody girl to get me out of here." Seto reassures him.
Mokuba's smile comes back to his face.
Dinner's a tense trial. They're both on edge. Their strings are pulled too tight and ready to snap.
Mokuba's endorphins seem to be back to normal and he's starting to notice just how tense both of them are. How both eat robotically and don't look up "Hey Seto!" He says happily, because that's what Mokuba does, he tries to make people happy. Seto turns to him, trying to look less frustrated than he feels. "Did you know that Kisara used to live in our same town? She even went to your high school. Man, it's such a shame you never met."
Mokuba's too busy longingly staring at the distance to notice how Seto's fork falls to his plate or how Kisara blanches and how both their eyes are wide. He's too busy to see the sheer terror on their faces.
Kisara clears her throat. She pushes the food from one side of the plate to the other with her fork "I don't know about that Mokie, I mean from what you've told me your brother didn't spend that much time in the school so it wouldn't have made any difference." She keeps her eyes on her food, a small curve on her lips like she thinks she's just solved everything.
Seto rolls his eyes, cutting his food into too small pieces. "What would the case be? Either way she'd have come all the way here for college." And okay maybe he's a little hurt, but he trusted Kisara with almost everything he had, and she'd disappeared after what had been the best night of Seto's youth. So sue him for being a little pissed off.
Kisara's face falls at that.
"Okaaaayyy, it was just a thought…" Mokuba's eyeing them suspiciously now. "Anyway, Seto told me he was planning on staying on a hotel and I thought 'why doesn't he stay here?' you know. He could sleep in my room with me, if you're okay with that, that is."
Kisara scrunches her face, her eyes tightly shut. She retreats her hands and Seto can almost hear her scratching the skin on her forearm. It's an old habit she used to have and Seto just can't help but to remember it, even though it doesn't look like she's actually doing it right now. Kisara pulls a smile for Mokuba's sake, which Seto's truly grateful for "Both of you won't fit on your bed, Mokie." She pushes Mokuba's shoulder in a friendly manner. "No with how big you've gotten, anyway."
Mokuba chuckles at that "Guess not." He eyes his food, chewing his lip. He looks so disappointed.
Seto sees Kisara's shoulders slump from the corner of his eye "But, you and I do fit in my bed." She offers. Mokuba beams at her brighter than the sun 'She's a light bringer' was how Yugi described her.
"Really?"
"Yeah, you and I can stay in my room and your brother can stay in yours for the week. If you think that won't interfere with your muses." She teases.
"Hell yeah! See Seto? I told you she was the best."
This time, when Seto looks at Kisara he sees the old Kisara, His Kisara. He sees the one that would give up her ice cream for a crying child, the one that shared her lunch with whoever needed it. He sees the girl who took time out of her busy day to go to the KC building just to spend time with Seto and make sure he ate, the one who went out of her way to make him feel special.
"So you said." Seto's barely able to stop his voice from breaking.
-o-o-o-
Seto takes his laptop from his suitcase and sets it on his lap. He stares at the room as it turns on. There are 12 posters on the wall, some of boys bands, some of what he can only guess are soap operas, some of them are from the museum Mokuba's presenting in. They stare at him, judging him and everything he's ever done. It makes his skin itch.
There's a particular one with a broad man on it. He has long, black hair and is half naked. He holds a trident in his left hand and his too focused eyes make Seto twitch on the bed. He doesn't know who the man might be, but he has never been uncomfortable with his brother's sexuality until now.
He shakes his head and focuses on his work rather than everything else.
A square pops up thirty minutes later, notifying him of a message.
"How's Mokuba?" Seto looks at the blond on the picture, trying to suppress his urge to groan.
"He's fine." He sends
"Just 'fine'? he still angry at u?"
Seto lets his head fall to the wall, if there's anything that hasn't changed of Jounouchi is his complete disregard to orthography. "No, he isn't."
"The so pissy?"
Fuck him! Seto doesn't deign to reply and Jounouchi lets him be for about five minutes before he texts again "C'mon Kaiba! U obviously itching 2 tell me!"
Seto scowls at the screen but damn if the mutt isn't right. He's needs to take the edge off, let out everything he's been bottling up since he arrived.
So he clicks the video icon.
"Wow, it must be REALLY freaking big for you to do a video call." Jounouchi says, his eyebrows so high they almost disappear beneath his bangs. There's a smirk on his lips, though, and Seto's more than happy to erase it.
"Asakawa Kisara is Mokuba's roommate." Seto cuts to the chase.
The tips of his lips curl upwards as Jounouchi's smirk erases, his jaw falling slack.
"WHAT?!" He screams and Seto's really happy there's the living room between him and Kisara's room.
"Shut up mutt! They'll hear you."
"They? Are you staying with them?"
"Yes."
Jounouchi runs a hand through his hair "Wait, so you're saying Kisara- your ex-girlfriend Asakawa Kisara- is Mokuba's roommate?"
"No, you idiot, one of the many other Asakawa Kisaras that I know."
"Man, small world isn't it?" Seto crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Hey, at least now you know she's alive." Jounouchi offers sheepishly and Seto wonders why did he ever make the call. "Don't look at me like that, I know you were worried, especially with how Takahisa left town the same week."
Seto glares harder at the blond. If he's being honest, yes, he'd been worried about something happening to Kisara, all the more when he discovered that Takahisa had been harassing her and Seto had been the only one who didn't know.
"Shut up, mutt."
Jounouchi doesn't even frown at the name "So, did you talk to her?"
"Obviously."
Now's the blond's turn to roll his eyes "I mean talk about what happened."
"Don't be stupid, Mokuba's here."
"Wait so, you haven't told him?" Silence "You moron, it's been seven years."
"Exactly it's been eight years. Why should I talk about something that's in the past already?"
"Oh no, don't give ME that 'the past is the past and has no relevance in the present' crap of yours, Kaiba. We both know you know better now."
"Fuck you."
"You wish."
They stay in silence. The half-naked man glares at him and Seto wishes he'd come the very day of the exhibition instead of trying for some bonding time.
"You could get answers now, you know." Jounouchi says tentatively "Give it some closure and maybe give your brother the answer he's been wanting for so long?"
"You should be asleep already." Seto's hand moves the pointer to the end button.
Jounouchi gives him a small, sad smile "She's a good girl, Kaiba. You should at least hear her out."
Seto ends the call stabbing the mouse over the red button.
He turns off everything and pulls the blankets above his head when turning proves to be ineffective to block the posters.
Don't wory, everything will be explained ;)
Also, ObeliskX thank you for the prompt you sent me, I'm already writing it, but since this was already edited, and I said I'd publish it last week I published this first.
I really hope you all liked it and that you follow the story to the very end. Also english isn't my first language, and since thanks to college I had to read a lot in my own language I fell like my english got worse, so please tell me if you spot any mistake.
Thanks for reading.
Love you.